TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[HappyAuntie]

I'm not having the best day, first email I opened was my prego friend that I'd confided my TTC worries to (before she got pg) has sent me a second scan, and I've told her that I can't be the person she talks to about this stuff, she's pretty pissed off and has sent me back an email that she thinks I am being too sensitive.

Sorry to say this because I know you have a relationship with her, but she is clearly no friend to you. Even if she can't understand the pain you're in, she knows you're in pain and that should be enough - if she truly cared about you, she wouldn't need any other explanation, full stop. I wouldn't bother trying to explain any further - she's already made it clear that your feelings are not important to her - you told her honestly how you feel and she doesn't care. It's not like you are the only person on earth she can show her scan pics to. This is an unequal relationship - she feels she is more important than you are. If she were to apologize to you at some point in the future, I would accept and forgive, and keep her at arm's length.

 

[NorthStar]

Thanks yes I'm seeing this person in a different light now, it's pretty depressing as we've been friends for a number of years, but she lives overseas so we're not likely to bang into each other anytime really.

It's sad but I need to protect myself, I'm going to be a selfish bag here and say I wish I had a few childfree friends, since I moved back to the UK I just don't have any girlfriends that are in the same place ie TTC, or even childless by choice, they all have kids and none of them had any difficulties TTC. Am so glad to have found the forum to talk this stuff through with people who actually get it.

 

[onmymind17]

LLbean & 4ever -how are you dealing with the 2ww post transfer?


AFM- I had the embryo transfer 2 days ago. Out of 16 fertilized eggs only one was a good blastocyte and another one was 'nearly there'. Was really disappointed that we didn't have any blastocytes for freezing and that so many embryos didn't survive at all for day 5. I thought that all the pain after the ER would have been worth it if we had some embryos for freezing. BUt hey ho, it wasn't meant to be.
OHSS symptoms are luckily gone, so physically I feel better.
Now I'm in the middle of the dreaded 2 ww. It's a bit of an emotional rollercoaster - one day I'm feeling really hopeful and then crash down to a complete hopelesness.

One day at time I suppose...

Hey--I am feeling good. Don't forget, you only need 1!!!!

I was bummed out that I didn't have any extra embryos to freeze, but I'm taking that as a sign from the Universe that I won't be needing them!

Hold on...the roller coaster ride will slow in a bit xx

Ugh i want to be on the rollercoaster that is slowing down, right now i think mine is doing loop de loops lol. I love your PMA!!!! and your right, you wont be needing any more this one or ones are going to stick and grow!!!!

Thanks OMM! I don't know what PMA is, but I'm sure it's nothing like PMS :0) I'm visualizing sticky multiplying masses of baby love in my womb all of the time!

LOL PMA is Positive Mental Attitude and i love the sticky multiplying masses of baby love!!!!

 

[onmymind17]

hi ladies, im sure a few of you have seen me knocking about on this forum but it's the first post on this thread for me. funny, because it is the perfect place for me to hang out i think ttc 1 and hoping for a sticky bean real soon. had a chemical this last cycle - an exciting week of BFP's glaring at me on for it all to be taken away at the end of the week. it's not going to get me down though, and dh is REALLY determined now

caroleb congratulations - wish you a happy n healthy 9 months - enjoy! x

Hi sumatwsimit, glad to see you here, sorry about your loss, i know how hard that can be

 

[onmymind17]

OMG Skye what a great idea to do both sets of eggs - I would never have thought of that

LOL, actually i did think about that, this way i would never know if it was my egg or the donor that took, unfortunatly i cannot afford the meds for both me and the donor, and my insurance would not pay for both ivf retrevials, so i have to go with just one or the other

 

[onmymind17]

Hi Dwrgi - I do stats for a living, I would say that they don't have a big enough sample to make a significant comparison. I know that's not particularly helpful BUT it's not good or bad, simply means not enough data.

I think that you are entitled to a full debrief appointment (when you are ready) where the doctor sits down with you and talks you through in detail what happened and answers all your questions, hell you paid for the whole thing the least they owe you is a full explanantion so you can learn a bit more for your next cycle.

Thank you North Star-this is very helpful! God, I'm aware that I'm hogging with my issues now, I am so needy. So sorry guys!

We did have a consult, and the FS was very kind and tried to answer my questions, but she simply said that the eggs weren't there, hence only harvesting two; there were cells in some follicles but no eggs. She seemed certain it was down to my low amh. She did advocate DHEA and DID offer to use another trigger shot (pregnyl nor Ovitrel), but I didn't find it saitisfying, possibly because the outcome just wasn't satisfying to me. Maybe I just need to accept what happened, accept what the 'expert' said, and move on....

Hope you're having a good day hun,
Amandaxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Honey you are not hogging, and your not needy, i can totaly understand the whirlwind that is going through your mind right now. First of all, i am sorry but i dont trust the so called "experts" i have learned long ago not to trust them and to fight for what i think is right, if i would have done this back in 2009 i probably would have a baby in my arms now, instead of loosing that one because the doctors office refused to check the progesterone. I dont buy that you only had two eggs because of your low AMH, i could see if you only grew two eggs, but you had 12!!!!! They dont just disappear right before the retrevial!! I think those people are trying to blow it off because they are so new and dont want to make their stats look bad. I think its worth trying to get into another clinic, where they are not so new and care more about you and can explain when something happens instead of going OH Well!! Thats just my opinion though

 

[onmymind17]

Well that's better than nothing but it sounds like you still need a bit more info, I don't know anything about treatment (but I know my stats!) so don't be afraid to ask for another meeting, and ask how they would change the tx next time etc, get all the info you can from them.

I'm not having the best day, first email I opened was my prego friend that I'd confided my TTC worries to (before she got pg) has sent me a second scan, and I've told her that I can't be the person she talks to about this stuff, she's pretty pissed off and has sent me back an email that she thinks I am being too sensitive.

Let me go over there and slap her pleeeeeeeese, i really hate it when people just dont get it. And this is horrible, but people like that i just wish something would happen and then they could understand where we are, i know its horrible Just blow her off, and concentrate on you and all the love and hugs we are sending to you!!

 

[HappyAuntie]

OMG Skye what a great idea to do both sets of eggs - I would never have thought of that

LOL, actually i did think about that, this way i would never know if it was my egg or the donor that took, unfortunatly i cannot afford the meds for both me and the donor, and my insurance would not pay for both ivf retrevials, so i have to go with just one or the other

So does this mean your insurance covers donor egg retrieval?

 

[purplelou]

Northstar - just wanted to send big big for you. you are not being over sensitive!! this is such a hard journey which plays with your emotions and messes with your head and heart. I am so sorry that your friend said what she said to you. I am your cyber-friend, not the same I know but I understand - as do the other ladies on here. big loves to you xxx

Dwrgi - you are so NOT hogging or being needy. I wish I had advice but I just don't have the knowledge or experience, however I would say that if you need questions answered and you don't feel that they have been answered to your satisfaction, you must pester until you feel like it has been completely explained to you. some doctors are terrors for not explaining properly and if there is no answer, then she should say I don't know, or there's no way to know. sending you and hoping that you get some peace soon

sumat - welcome to the thread you will not find a nicer (or more educated about fertility issues) bunch of amazing ladies anywhere!


and to all who need it today, Ive read all the posts but only have a bit of time so just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you all lovely ladies xxx

 

[Shansam]

HA,
Thank you so much. I think I am losing it. I had to close my office door.b/c I am just shaking and.feel like I'm about to cry. I've got to get myself together. I'm sure they have tons of other girls waiting for their call. I am trying to just breathe.

Remember ladies the girl who was 16 in NY who was pregnant and my friend who is her mentor asked me about adopting the baby? Well, she told us she was going to have the abortion. But now I just found out that she is going to keep the baby herself while living with her bf. I wonder is she thinks it will be cool like that show on NYC, "16 & Pregnant". These girls think it's cool. They watch girls their age with a baby on tthe TV and the celebrity mags and just keep drinking, smoking, not getting regular prenatal appts. Here we are, older and want our babies so badly and get struggle so much. Anyway, just had to share.

Not all teenage mothers/mothers to be are like this.
Im sorry, i hope you get your BFP soon.
But its also not nice to judge and stereotype others from what you see on TV

 

[sumatwsimit]

HA,
Thank you so much. I think I am losing it. I had to close my office door.b/c I am just shaking and.feel like I'm about to cry. I've got to get myself together. I'm sure they have tons of other girls waiting for their call. I am trying to just breathe.

Remember ladies the girl who was 16 in NY who was pregnant and my friend who is her mentor asked me about adopting the baby? Well, she told us she was going to have the abortion. But now I just found out that she is going to keep the baby herself while living with her bf. I wonder is she thinks it will be cool like that show on NYC, "16 & Pregnant". These girls think it's cool. They watch girls their age with a baby on tthe TV and the celebrity mags and just keep drinking, smoking, not getting regular prenatal appts. Here we are, older and want our babies so badly and get struggle so much. Anyway, just had to share.

Not all teenage mothers/mothers to be are like this.
Im sorry, i hope you get your BFP soon.
But its also not nice to judge and stereotype others from what you see on TV

? ? think you are on the wrong thread...this is for WOMEN 35+ TTC 1!

 

[Butterfly67]

HA,
Thank you so much. I think I am losing it. I had to close my office door.b/c I am just shaking and.feel like I'm about to cry. I've got to get myself together. I'm sure they have tons of other girls waiting for their call. I am trying to just breathe.

Remember ladies the girl who was 16 in NY who was pregnant and my friend who is her mentor asked me about adopting the baby? Well, she told us she was going to have the abortion. But now I just found out that she is going to keep the baby herself while living with her bf. I wonder is she thinks it will be cool like that show on NYC, "16 & Pregnant". These girls think it's cool. They watch girls their age with a baby on tthe TV and the celebrity mags and just keep drinking, smoking, not getting regular prenatal appts. Here we are, older and want our babies so badly and get struggle so much. Anyway, just had to share.

Not all teenage mothers/mothers to be are like this.
Im sorry, i hope you get your BFP soon.
But its also not nice to judge and stereotype others from what you see on TV

What made you even look through and find this old post?

 

[onmymind17]

OMG Skye what a great idea to do both sets of eggs - I would never have thought of that

LOL, actually i did think about that, this way i would never know if it was my egg or the donor that took, unfortunatly i cannot afford the meds for both me and the donor, and my insurance would not pay for both ivf retrevials, so i have to go with just one or the other

So does this mean your insurance covers donor egg retrieval?

Yes it does, i got so lucky, but because of the extra expense i will only have one shot at it.

 

[onmymind17]

HA,
Thank you so much. I think I am losing it. I had to close my office door.b/c I am just shaking and.feel like I'm about to cry. I've got to get myself together. I'm sure they have tons of other girls waiting for their call. I am trying to just breathe.

Remember ladies the girl who was 16 in NY who was pregnant and my friend who is her mentor asked me about adopting the baby? Well, she told us she was going to have the abortion. But now I just found out that she is going to keep the baby herself while living with her bf. I wonder is she thinks it will be cool like that show on NYC, "16 & Pregnant". These girls think it's cool. They watch girls their age with a baby on tthe TV and the celebrity mags and just keep drinking, smoking, not getting regular prenatal appts. Here we are, older and want our babies so badly and get struggle so much. Anyway, just had to share.

Not all teenage mothers/mothers to be are like this.
Im sorry, i hope you get your BFP soon.
But its also not nice to judge and stereotype others from what you see on TV

Its also not nice to comment on something you know nothing about, first of all this was a really old post, second this is someone that she personally knows, and third, are you over 35 and TTC your first? Next time find out all the facts before you comment about something please.

 

[tigerlily1975]

HA,
Thank you so much. I think I am losing it. I had to close my office door.b/c I am just shaking and.feel like I'm about to cry. I've got to get myself together. I'm sure they have tons of other girls waiting for their call. I am trying to just breathe.

Remember ladies the girl who was 16 in NY who was pregnant and my friend who is her mentor asked me about adopting the baby? Well, she told us she was going to have the abortion. But now I just found out that she is going to keep the baby herself while living with her bf. I wonder is she thinks it will be cool like that show on NYC, "16 & Pregnant". These girls think it's cool. They watch girls their age with a baby on tthe TV and the celebrity mags and just keep drinking, smoking, not getting regular prenatal appts. Here we are, older and want our babies so badly and get struggle so much. Anyway, just had to share.

Not all teenage mothers/mothers to be are like this.
Im sorry, i hope you get your BFP soon.
But its also not nice to judge and stereotype others from what you see on TV

Its also not nice to comment on something you know nothing about, first of all this was a really old post, second this is someone that she personally knows, and third, are you over 35 and TTC your first? Next time find out all the facts before you comment about something please.

HA,
Thank you so much. I think I am losing it. I had to close my office door.b/c I am just shaking and.feel like I'm about to cry. I've got to get myself together. I'm sure they have tons of other girls waiting for their call. I am trying to just breathe.

Remember ladies the girl who was 16 in NY who was pregnant and my friend who is her mentor asked me about adopting the baby? Well, she told us she was going to have the abortion. But now I just found out that she is going to keep the baby herself while living with her bf. I wonder is she thinks it will be cool like that show on NYC, "16 & Pregnant". These girls think it's cool. They watch girls their age with a baby on tthe TV and the celebrity mags and just keep drinking, smoking, not getting regular prenatal appts. Here we are, older and want our babies so badly and get struggle so much. Anyway, just had to share.

Not all teenage mothers/mothers to be are like this.
Im sorry, i hope you get your BFP soon.
But its also not nice to judge and stereotype others from what you see on TV

What made you even look through and find this old post?

.. well, it's nice to know where my taxes are going....

 

[Shansam]

I actually feel bad for my comment...so i have editied it and i am sorry
But you older women need to understand that its not fair to judge teenage parents and think we are all the same and its not true.
It seems as if you are bitter because you are older than normal aged mums and take it out on us.
Have some respect for teenage parents too, because not all of us are iddiots

EDITED

 

[HappyAuntie]

I didt realise it was so old i just saw it
I browse through all forums on here.. theres no rules that i cant.
Your all quick to judge teenage parents..
UMMM... i dont think your going to be perfect parents because youve left it late to concieve.
So dont be angry at me because im pregnant.
Im not even going to come back and comment again, its obvious your all finding ways to be at angry other people ( pregnant teens )because its taking long for you to get pregnant
OLD BAGS

Ok, now you are completely out of line. Don't judge? Look who's judging now.

Yes, of course you have the right to read and post in any forum you'd like. But if you really read the post you commented on, you'd understand the OP was referring to the girls on tv, not every single pregnant teen - no one was judging you.

Secondly, how dare you assume that just because we're over 35 that we've left it too long. You have no idea what our individual stories are. You have no idea when some of us started trying and why. You are just interested in making sweeping generalizations that are no more true than the generalization that all teen parents are bad parents.

Now kindly go back to your area of BnB. I think you'll find that very few 35+ ladies comment in the pregnant teen section, and at the very least you owe us the same respect and courtesy.

 

[Arcanegirl]

I didnt realise it was so old i just saw it
I browse through all forums on here.. theres no rules that i cant.
Your all quick to judge teenage parents..
UMMM... i dont think your going to be perfect parents because youve left it late to concieve.
So dont be angry at me because im pregnant.
Im not even going to come back and comment again
Your all just so bitter because your finding it hard to get pregnant.
Thats not teen parents faults.
Fair enough on what u said, onmymind17
But for the rest of the commenters your all
OLD BAGS Thats exactly what you are ( to those who commented on my quote)

Tata now

What an insenstive thing to say! Youve certainly proved your maturity, well done!
Take a bit of notice and have some respect for what areas of the forums you stumble across.

 

[4everyoung]

Hi All--Hopefully we can all get back on track. I think ignoring comments that are inflammatory is the way to proceed.

I am one week away from my test. Can't wait...I am 5 days after transfer and feeling good...a little bloat-y and twingey (is that even a word!?) but still optimistic.

At any rate, thanks to all for being here. I wish everyone, regardless of age or number of children or attempts- great success and happy mothering :0)

Thanks-
Stacy

 

[padbrat]

Hey All.... whoa... I think someone was trying to poke their fingers in a hornets nest.... but agree that best course of action is to ignore irrelavant comments made by someone taking an old post out of context to cause an issue with those of us on here and then insult us all!! BTW Shansam... I have been pregnant 6 times so don't assume we can't get pregnant thank you!

Anyhow... on to more important things...

OMM I was thinking of the double donor and own egg thing too.... like you said, I found it considerably more expensive and as much as I would have loved to do it I couldn't justify the expense.

Welcome Sumat!

Hey Skye hun... I am OK. Just had my thyroid test results back... I am double the upper limit of the hormones so my Dr was really concerned and has changed my meds again.. need to get this issue sorted before the tx... have my ultrasound on the 20th Sept and then all is good to go for Oct! How are you feeling? You are taking care of yourself aren't you?

Hey Purps... know what you mean, is hard to keep up..! Hope all is OK

Dwrigi... you are not hogging at all... you are stressed and asking for advice from your buddys on here... I wish I knew hun, but I have never done IVF. North is right with the stats as well...she clearly knows her numbers!

4ever.... OMG only a short time to go before you hopefully have your BFP.... fingers crossed chick!