TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[purplelou]

all I can say is wow!

how can anyone be so completely heartless and cruel?? I was having a fairly bright day until that.........

speechless! (and that's quite unusual for me)

 

[purplelou]

pad - I hope your doc can get your thyroid issues sorted out hun!

might be a really stupid question but I'll risk it. if you had a donor embie and an own embie transferred, and one implanted , how would you know which one was successful?

 

[tigerlily1975]

I actually feel bad for my comment...so i have editied it and i am sorry
But you older women need to understand that its not fair to judge teenage parents and think we are all the same and its not true.
It seems as if you are bitter because you are older than normal aged mums and take it out on us.
Have some respect for teenage parents too, because not all of us are iddiots

EDITED

Hi Shansam

I just wanted to apologise for my comment, it was out of line.

We understand where you're coming from, but you have to understand our point of view too. As you're only 17, you of course think we're old, but don't forget, it will be women our age who will help you along in your pregnancy, help you deliver your blessed child and then go on to teach it.

At the end of the day the most important thing is having a healthy, happy, loved child and that's something we all wish for. There is no normal age to have a child, as others have said on here, there are many different reasons as to why we decide when we want a child. 17 is the right time for you, but to me, at that age, I could only think of getting into Uni! It's a personal decision and yes, we should all respect that.

So, I just want to wish you good luck with your pregnancy and to your future little bundle of joy.

C xx

 

[onmymind17]

I actually feel bad for my comment...so i have editied it and i am sorry
But you older women need to understand that its not fair to judge teenage parents and think we are all the same and its not true.
It seems as if you are bitter because you are older than normal aged mums and take it out on us.
Have some respect for teenage parents too, because not all of us are iddiots

EDITED

Bitter because we are older than NORMAL aged mom's now thats not very nice, please just let this drop, and let us deal with our own issues, no not every teen mom is a bad person, and yes women over 35 are normal mothers just like you.

 

[onmymind17]

Hi All--Hopefully we can all get back on track. I think ignoring comments that are inflammatory is the way to proceed.

I am one week away from my test. Can't wait...I am 5 days after transfer and feeling good...a little bloat-y and twingey (is that even a word!?) but still optimistic.

At any rate, thanks to all for being here. I wish everyone, regardless of age or number of children or attempts- great success and happy mothering :0)

Thanks-
Stacy

Ohhhhhh how exciting and yes twingey is a word here lol. Ohhhhhh i so cannot wait for your good news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[onmymind17]

Hey All.... whoa... I think someone was trying to poke their fingers in a hornets nest.... but agree that best course of action is to ignore irrelavant comments made by someone taking an old post out of context to cause an issue with those of us on here and then insult us all!! BTW Shansam... I have been pregnant 6 times so don't assume we can't get pregnant thank you!

Anyhow... on to more important things...

OMM I was thinking of the double donor and own egg thing too.... like you said, I found it considerably more expensive and as much as I would have loved to do it I couldn't justify the expense.

Welcome Sumat!

Hey Skye hun... I am OK. Just had my thyroid test results back... I am double the upper limit of the hormones so my Dr was really concerned and has changed my meds again.. need to get this issue sorted before the tx... have my ultrasound on the 20th Sept and then all is good to go for Oct! How are you feeling? You are taking care of yourself aren't you?

Hey Purps... know what you mean, is hard to keep up..! Hope all is OK

Dwrigi... you are not hogging at all... you are stressed and asking for advice from your buddys on here... I wish I knew hun, but I have never done IVF. North is right with the stats as well...she clearly knows her numbers!

4ever.... OMG only a short time to go before you hopefully have your BFP.... fingers crossed chick!

You know i realized a little bit ago, that it totaly does not matter if i will use a donor egg or not, OMG OMG, i have the actuall possibility of getting pg and having a baby of my very own!!!!!! I am so freaking excited, omg just to see the numbers go up the way they should, and OMG to see the heartbeat, i have never been able to see the heartbeat!!!!!!!!! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee can you tell i am just a little excited for both of us!!!!!!!!

 

[onmymind17]

pad - I hope your doc can get your thyroid issues sorted out hun!

might be a really stupid question but I'll risk it. if you had a donor embie and an own embie transferred, and one implanted , how would you know which one was successful?

LOL thats the whole point honey, you would not know, so it would be a bit easier to believe it was yours that embedded. Does that sound stupid?

 

[onmymind17]

I actually feel bad for my comment...so i have editied it and i am sorry
But you older women need to understand that its not fair to judge teenage parents and think we are all the same and its not true.
It seems as if you are bitter because you are older than normal aged mums and take it out on us.
Have some respect for teenage parents too, because not all of us are iddiots

EDITED

Hi Shansam

I just wanted to apologise for my comment, it was out of line.

We understand where you're coming from, but you have to understand our point of view too. As you're only 17, you of course think we're old, but don't forget, it will be women our age who will help you along in your pregnancy, help you deliver your blessed child and then go on to teach it.

At the end of the day the most important thing is having a healthy, happy, loved child and that's something we all wish for. There is no normal age to have a child, as others have said on here, there are many different reasons as to why we decide when we want a child. 17 is the right time for you, but to me, at that age, I could only think of getting into Uni! It's a personal decision and yes, we should all respect that.

So, I just want to wish you good luck with your pregnancy and to your future little bundle of joy.

C xx

Thanks honey, you took the anger out of me and made me see more clearly, i edited my post so that it was much softer than it was.

 

[twinkle1975]

Glad normal service has been resumed! Big hugs all round xxx

 

[LLbean]

Forever...I'm twingy/crampy too....and on and off hot too hahahaha. I have also been frequently to the little girls room for #2 today...God I hope all of those are good signs!

 

[lavalux]

Ok, maybe I'm just hormonal, but Sansham's initial post made me cry because I wasn't trying to pass general judgment on actual teenage moms, but on TV personalities and the message they sometimes present. I don't mean to stir anything up at all, not then or now. As for her second post, it may have been made with the best of intentions, but it struck a nerve. I hate that people judge woman 35+ who are moms or strive to be moms and unfortunately, I've really felt the brunt of this viewpoint on several occasions recently. I've had someone find out I'm pregnant with twins and ask my age and then make comments implying that by becoming pregnant at 39, I am selfish and don't care about being there for my children.

My mom had me at 42 and thank God she kept trying after her miscarriages and didn't give up. She wasn't perfect and we had our mother-daughter fights, but she was a completely devoted and loving mom who tried to raise me right. If I say so myself, I think she did a great job and gave me good advice, including have confidence in yourself, don't give up your dreams, fight the good fight, get an education, do productive work, it's better to be alone than marry a guy who doesn't love and respect you or just for the sake of being married, try to be compassionate to others, admit your mistakes, and be a good friend.

I just want to say that this forum has the most amazing women and I have always felt that it is a safe place to share one's feelings, even when it springs from pain, anger, jealousy, fear, and frustration. We also share the joys and courageous moments too. I feel very loved and protected by all the ladies on this regular forum and I thank God that I found you all. You have been there for me and I am here for you.

One day, each and every one of us on this thread will become mothers and we will all have a special appreciation for the blessing we have been given. I feel that although our paths to motherhood are unique and many are fraught with struggle, there is no doubt that we will have some lucky babies coming into this world and joining our little family. I love you all. Laura

 

[onmymind17]

Forever...I'm twingy/crampy too....and on and off hot too hahahaha. I have also been frequently to the little girls room for #2 today...God I hope all of those are good signs!

Ohhhhhhhh fingers are crossed for both of you ladies, come on little beans stick and grow, we want to see some bfp's here!!!!!

 

[onmymind17]

Ok, maybe I'm just hormonal, but Sansham's initial post made me cry because I wasn't trying to pass general judgment on actual teenage moms, but on TV personalities and the message they sometimes present. I don't mean to stir anything up at all, not then or now. As for her second post, it may have been made with the best of intentions, but it struck a nerve. I hate that people judge woman 35+ who are moms or strive to be moms and unfortunately, I've really felt the brunt of this viewpoint on several occasions recently. I've had someone find out I'm pregnant with twins and ask my age and then make comments implying that by becoming pregnant at 39, I am selfish and don't care about being there for my children.

My mom had me at 42 and thank God she kept trying after her miscarriages and didn't give up. She wasn't perfect and we had our mother-daughter fights, but she was a completely devoted and loving mom who tried to raise me right. If I say so myself, I think she did a great job and gave me good advice, including have confidence in yourself, don't give up your dreams, fight the good fight, get an education, do productive work, it's better to be alone than marry a guy who doesn't love and respect you or just for the sake of being married, try to be compassionate to others, admit your mistakes, and be a good friend.

I just want to say that this forum has the most amazing women and I have always felt that it is a safe place to share one's feelings, even when it springs from pain, anger, jealousy, fear, and frustration. We also share the joys and courageous moments too. I feel very loved and protected by all the ladies on this regular forum and I thank God that I found you all. You have been there for me and I am here for you.

One day, each and every one of us on this thread will become mothers and we will all have a special appreciation for the blessing we have been given. I feel that although our paths to motherhood are unique and many are fraught with struggle, there is no doubt that we will have some lucky babies coming into this world and joining our little family. I love you all. Laura

Oh honey dont let them upset you, that teen age girl just did not read and comprehend what you wrote, you said it was from the TV show 16 and pg, i dont know why she felt the need to jump on here and complain unless she feels guilty for some reason, hey she is having her baby when she feels its right and we are having ours when we feel its right. As for that other one that found out you were having twins, why the hell did she ask your age, i would have looked at her and said "A lady never tells her age" now that person should be shot, and why you would get upset with someone that stupid, i dont know, we need to pity people that are mentaly handicapped!! You are going to be the most wonderful loving mom to your children, just like your mom was to you, its not your age that matters raising a child, its your love, and you have a ton of it for these little ones. I have no doubt also that each and every one of us will one day hold our little ones in our arms!!!! Now enough of the sadness and anger, i want to see you smile, we all love you honey!!!

 

[4everyoung]

Forever...I'm twingy/crampy too....and on and off hot too hahahaha. I have also been frequently to the little girls room for #2 today...God I hope all of those are good signs!

I think they're good signs! It's perfect timing for some twinginess

xx

 

[onmymind17]

Forever...I'm twingy/crampy too....and on and off hot too hahahaha. I have also been frequently to the little girls room for #2 today...God I hope all of those are good signs!

I think they're good signs! It's perfect timing for some twinginess

xx

Ohhhhhh twinginess i love that word lol!!!!!! Twinginess for all lol

 

[LLbean]

well Progesterone can be the cause too right? so trying not to get excited...just yet ;-)

 

[HappyAuntie]

well Progesterone can be the cause too right? so trying not to get excited...just yet ;-)

Yep. I hate to rain on the excitement parade, but progesterone supplementation can cause every single early pregnancy symptom in the book - twinges, cramps, sore boobs, everything. It's a really cruel side effect!

 

[purplelou]

Ok, maybe I'm just hormonal, but Sansham's initial post made me cry because I wasn't trying to pass general judgment on actual teenage moms, but on TV personalities and the message they sometimes present. I don't mean to stir anything up at all, not then or now. As for her second post, it may have been made with the best of intentions, but it struck a nerve. I hate that people judge woman 35+ who are moms or strive to be moms and unfortunately, I've really felt the brunt of this viewpoint on several occasions recently. I've had someone find out I'm pregnant with twins and ask my age and then make comments implying that by becoming pregnant at 39, I am selfish and don't care about being there for my children.

My mom had me at 42 and thank God she kept trying after her miscarriages and didn't give up. She wasn't perfect and we had our mother-daughter fights, but she was a completely devoted and loving mom who tried to raise me right. If I say so myself, I think she did a great job and gave me good advice, including have confidence in yourself, don't give up your dreams, fight the good fight, get an education, do productive work, it's better to be alone than marry a guy who doesn't love and respect you or just for the sake of being married, try to be compassionate to others, admit your mistakes, and be a good friend.

I just want to say that this forum has the most amazing women and I have always felt that it is a safe place to share one's feelings, even when it springs from pain, anger, jealousy, fear, and frustration. We also share the joys and courageous moments too. I feel very loved and protected by all the ladies on this regular forum and I thank God that I found you all. You have been there for me and I am here for you.

One day, each and every one of us on this thread will become mothers and we will all have a special appreciation for the blessing we have been given. I feel that although our paths to motherhood are unique and many are fraught with struggle, there is no doubt that we will have some lucky babies coming into this world and joining our little family. I love you all. Laura

Dear Laura,
that was such a lovely post! I agree with what you have said. You ladies here have been my lifeline and helped me keep my sanity. I feel safe asking probably the most stupid of questions and telling you all when I feeling down. I am also very glad your mom kept trying after she had her miscarriages, the world would be a poorer place without your presence.
I am so sorry that that woman felt she had the right to pass judgment on you. what a cheek!! please don't dwell on it, you will be a fabulous mummy and your LO's will be lucky to have a caring kind mom who will bring them up right and give them great values for life.

to everyone here - thank you, thank you, thank you. No-one really understands like you guys do.

 

[purplelou]

oh and OMM - thanks for that, I did wonder, I think I read Skye's post wrongly earlier about the lady she knew who did a combined transfer and I wondered how did she know which was which. see told you it was silly.

 

[skye2010]

Thanks ladies, yeah you said it, one of the things she said in the email was I had to relax a bit and helpfully suggested that we take a holiday so as you say she has no idea, she is also younger than us so doesn't have the time pressure of the ticking clock. No one outside this forum seems to get it at all!

What? That is such a patronising comment that deserves a kick up her but. Northstar I think that girl doesn't really want friends but an audience to coo her achievements I'm afraid.

Sansham this thread actually exists to shield ourselves from ignorant and irrelevant comments like yours. We have much more understanding, consideration and love that we share with everyone here who has the same attitude. You would have received a totally different response from us if you had displayed the same level of respect and understanding. I can assure you that being an angry and an aggressive person will not achieve the respect you seek ever in life. You need to give first to receive respect. I don't know if any of this would be helpful to put things in perspective for you. I'm suspecting you probably think "OOh they can't understand me" But we do and this is the bottom line of your comment. We like to spend our energy here on being more positive and constructive.
That comment was made in a completely different context than you think. We do use this thread also to vent and let out steam. No one really judges anyone here. Perhaps you would find more support starting a thread that has a title similar to your situation attended by women who go through similar experiences to yours. This thread exists for exactly that reason.

OOH Debs, I hope they can lower your levels fast and efficiently. My close friend in Turkey has the same thyroid issue. (Recently sky rocket TSH) She is still not married at 38 and desperately dreaming of a family. I'm really worried about her but can't comment not to scare her. What sort of tx are they offering to lower it?

Chris you will have a beautiful bb and you will be a great mum ) I actually wrote that to draw attention to this woman who was so happy with the donor egg baby. She kept her for 9 months in her womb bare her and bf her. The bonding she had with her was no different than if it was her own eggs. She was the bundle of love and joy )) I love that story cause it has a happy ending ) And just to answer Purple's question the woman knew it cause the donor had dark hair and olive skin (Typical Greek features) unlike her who was fair. So did the baby. But it was not even an issue. She didn't get a DNA testing or even be curious about it. She only cared about her beautiful babies well being.

LLbean that does look like good signs to me. All fingers and toes crossed for you.

Dwrgi autoimmune testing isn't a routine check on fertility. It is an area where there isn't enough blind trials done yet except the use of steroids and asprin. That's been tried and proved beneficial. However because there isn't enough trials and research done on it only handful of clinics do it. Chicago Uni carry on most of the testing. NHS does some only on women who are young and have had multiple mc's. My clinic ARGC and a few independent drs in London do it (Dr. Gorgy). I think Nottingham Uni does it if I'm not wrong. You can google their names and see what comes up. But I feel your worry is getting a solid and decent clinic that can make you produce a maximum no of eggs and give you a successfull IVF. This is the success rates on top London clinics. (I trust these results even though it is the clinic's website cause this clinic is the most searched and attacked clinic by HFEA so they wouldn't dare publishing anything not real)
https://www.argc.co.uk/statistics.html

The difference between UCH which doesn't carry out autoimmune tx (by the way it's an NHS clinic) and ARGC which does is only 12%. ARGC carries out a very obsessive tx period where all women have a blood tests everyday on beginning of stimms and almost twice a day blood screening and scanning on second half. + PGD on some (including all holidays, Xmass, easter etc) While UCH does shut down on Sundays I believe. So the %12 difference include all the extra care+ autoimmune txs+ some PGD. However some women in ARGC refuse the autoimmune tx and just do the normal IVF route.

From my limited experience women who have multiple mcs or multiple IVF with no BFP success I think the autoimmune tx makes a difference. But also their exceptional care does make a difference in overall success.

You haven't had a successful stimms, egg collection and embryo growth just yet. I'm suspecting with a different drug protocol and more close watch you might be able to produce better embies. But IVF is an expensive tx and difficult to keep trying unless you have big bank balance. So it is a tough call. I personally couldn't take the pressure of all the IUI's and after trying one cheapy IVF (which produced 19 bad quality eggs) in Turkey I realised how difficult the whole process was so went for ARGC. But it was very expensive. I'm sooo lucky and grateful that it was possible for me and that it worked. But for some unlucky girls it didn't work and it was devastating.

So I don't want to suggest anything to you except do a good research on the clinic and fix an appointment with the best. Keep an open mind while you the resarch and on the appt. They would suggest you the best options for your situation (egg donation, ICSI, IVF etc) I know I talked about a few things that contradicts each other but I try to write down all what I have experienced without directing you in one direction.
Sweetie you will get there in the end and you are doing a great job at trying to figure out what's best for u, DH and your little future baby. HUGS and KISSES

Lava sweetie I'm well annoyed on your behalf. Hugs and hugs. I love your post. If young people had the same level of wisdom I wonder if their choices might have been different in life. I'm sure their choices of words would have been.

Purple )) it wasn't silly at all. LOL!!!! I asked exactly the same thing when I heard this and said I would have gone for the DNA test. But the girl who told me this said the woman didn't care. That was the beauty of the story ) LOL!!!!!

Hi Sumat, welcome to this thread ))

AFM I went to the midwife yesterday and I had a big NOOO! to flying both from her and the dr she consulted. Looks like my placenta is right above the cervix very bottom of my uterus. I was told to take it very easy and not to exhaust myself. This condition makes me susceptible to heavy bleeding which could be life threatening for both me and the bb. I am also told I might end up having to have a c section (which I didn't really want) The nurse said the placenta might move later on but a close dr friend in Turkey said it is not very likely so i should get myself ready for cx. I was quite upset and shocked initially but i feel better now. Perhaps it's for the best for Shirin cause I would have really exhausted myself and my nerves if I went back to Turkey. I can not risk her life after all that I have gone through to have her. I guess not even if she was conceived easily cause now I can feel her moving and it's an odd/wonderful feeling. Dunno how to take it easy though. I'm not used to putting up my feet and relaxing even though I don't work.

Girls I love u all here and I'm hoping that all of you would have your sticky beans very very soon. Many many hugs and sunny baby dust. xxxx