TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[purplelou]

Hi Ladies, hope you are all having a good day,

HA - that sounds like very good news for you. I will concentrate on sending positive thoughts your way and and

lava - that is a beautiful song, I never really considered the lyrics till you wrote them down, but how moving!

northstar - thank for news about wooly - that's reassurring, I'd hoped she was lurking, but hopefully she'll be back soon. and how are you doing?

Dwrgi - I hope you are feeling less down today, those hopeless days get us all!

everyone - huge to you all, I hope you are all having a good day!

afm - need to keep this short and sweet cos Im at work and feeling a bit tearful today and want to try and keep my sanity and myself together. I "know" in my heart that tomorrow there will not be good news at the scan, but anyway scan in 14.30 (GMT) so Ill post when I get back what has happened, DH and I have planned to go to Birmingham for the day on Saturday to have some luch and a wander round - I think we have both done this subconsciously in case it's bad news, and I feel really sure it will be. I will probably be having a huge glass of wine (or 3)
big loves to you all,
you have kept me sane and I am so grateful, so just need to get through today xxxxxx

 

[skye2010]

Hahahha!!! Northstar. Can't beleive I spotted a Xmass tree already. It's only Sept. Bet next month all the shops will turn red and xmassy. hahhahahahaaa. Dunno how I will cope with all the sweeties myself. Sorry about this month hon. Hope your fertile time would fall into xmass. Than you can have a double celebration.

 

[skye2010]

Lois pls dooon't say that sweetie. I have a great feeling that it will work out for you. Remember this little embie is a fighter. It came right after your loss against all odds. You didn't know it was a pregnancy untill much later. So I bet it's wanting to stay with you hon. Lot's and lot's of hugs. Please stay positive cause that little embie needs mummy's support. xxxx

 

[Dwrgi]

Hi Ladies, hope you are all having a good day,

HA - that sounds like very good news for you. I will concentrate on sending positive thoughts your way and and

lava - that is a beautiful song, I never really considered the lyrics till you wrote them down, but how moving!

northstar - thank for news about wooly - that's reassurring, I'd hoped she was lurking, but hopefully she'll be back soon. and how are you doing?

Dwrgi - I hope you are feeling less down today, those hopeless days get us all!

everyone - huge to you all, I hope you are all having a good day!

afm - need to keep this short and sweet cos Im at work and feeling a bit tearful today and want to try and keep my sanity and myself together. I "know" in my heart that tomorrow there will not be good news at the scan, but anyway scan in 14.30 (GMT) so Ill post when I get back what has happened, DH and I have planned to go to Birmingham for the day on Saturday to have some luch and a wander round - I think we have both done this subconsciously in case it's bad news, and I feel really sure it will be. I will probably be having a huge glass of wine (or 3)
big loves to you all,
you have kept me sane and I am so grateful, so just need to get through today xxxxxx

Hey You! Positive Thinking until you know for sure! I know this is your way of protecting yourself against bad news, but you never know! Many people are newly preggers and have no symptoms at all. If you don't feel pregnant, it doesn't mean that you are not! Hang on in there, hun, and if the worst does happen, then I know that it is only a matter of time before you get pregnant again and have your little bb.

But for now, PMA-until proven otherwise. You have been so brave and so stoic and you are obviously a really strong character. You can deal with this, so it's a matter of distracting yourself like you have been doing up until now.

Good luck hun, I am sending you all the in the world!

Lots and lots of love,
Axxxxxx

 

[onmymind17]

Oh thank you so much Lava for this-it means a lot to have you guys on here. I think I am just completely exhausted by it all and need to take a step back and think about actions to put in place. I'm definitely going to do what HA suggested with regard to having time to speak about TTC with OH and also a journal. Your success at IUI also inspires me so I am so glad that you pop in on us all. It is really lovely to hear how you are getting on.

I am CD27 (I think) and have some pinky brown spotting this morning, which I'm sure means that AF is around the corner. My cycle is all over the place this month-I'm sure I ovulated on day 17 so this is a very short cycle but that's probably down to IVF drugs.

Just wondering whether I should go back and ask for my two IUIs-I was allowed three. My NHS FS said she would do the IUI for me if I wanted to after IVF/some future date.

I am also a bit annoyed that in this country they don't take your bloods to find your E levels, and after reading HA's post, it sounds such a helpful barometer. My local NHS clinic doesn't open on a Saturday and Sunday either, so they time you to trigger to suit them, not necessarily when your body is ready. How rubbish is that??

Anyway, thanks Lava, and thanks everybody else for being so kind and supportive.

Lots of love to you all, and HUGE doses of !

Does anybody have any idea about how Macwooly is getting on?? I am worried about her.

Also, Butterfly-any news on dates for flying back permanently? I wish I could help you pack and bring stuff back.

Purple-good luck for tomorrow. You have been so calm throughout this, a true inspiration!

OMM-still feeling a sense of 'Phew' after all your tests? You deserve a complete rest after all those. Let's hope the results are good!

Hey Pad-did you say that you have started the injections??? Did I make that up?? Oh, I am soooo rooting for you!

HA-all the best with your IUI tomorrow-you've got a lot of potential there and we are rooting for a happy outcome! Thinking of you!

Skyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye! How are you hun? Did you get your bathroom sorted?? Hope you're taking it easy? I bet London is a nightmare in this heat!

North Star, Twinkle, FM, Luvmydoggies, BearLake, 4Ever Young, LLBean, Keekee, and everybody else-HUGE HUGS to you all!

I have just bust my new work keyboard as I spilt coffee all over it. Somehow, not going to mention that to my Head. BUt the return button is now in retirement. Grrr.

Love to you all, have a good day!

Good morning honey, sorry about your keyboard lol, i know a few people that that has happend to lol. I hate it when a fertility place is not open on sat or sun, you cannot get a proper cycle if they dont stay open, i know my last RE i did some of my IUI's on the holiday, like Thanksgiving lol. Personally i am hoping that your spotting is implantation, it would be about right for it to show up!! And yes the "Phew" is very nice, i totaly crashed and burned last night, i was just exhausted after all the stress left lol. OK,, my two cents worth for the IUI's honey you have to do what feels right to you, my guess is your going to the IUI's because your still upset about what happend with the IVF. If you feel better doing the IUI's for now then go for it, hey you never know what will work right. Sending you tons of hugs!!

 

[purplelou]

thank you ladies - you are soooo lovely, I am just throwing myself a pity party (and yes Dwrgi - you are right - protecting myself)

it's just one of those days

 

[onmymind17]

Hi Ladies, hope you are all having a good day,

HA - that sounds like very good news for you. I will concentrate on sending positive thoughts your way and and

lava - that is a beautiful song, I never really considered the lyrics till you wrote them down, but how moving!

northstar - thank for news about wooly - that's reassurring, I'd hoped she was lurking, but hopefully she'll be back soon. and how are you doing?

Dwrgi - I hope you are feeling less down today, those hopeless days get us all!

everyone - huge to you all, I hope you are all having a good day!

afm - need to keep this short and sweet cos Im at work and feeling a bit tearful today and want to try and keep my sanity and myself together. I "know" in my heart that tomorrow there will not be good news at the scan, but anyway scan in 14.30 (GMT) so Ill post when I get back what has happened, DH and I have planned to go to Birmingham for the day on Saturday to have some luch and a wander round - I think we have both done this subconsciously in case it's bad news, and I feel really sure it will be. I will probably be having a huge glass of wine (or 3)
big loves to you all,
you have kept me sane and I am so grateful, so just need to get through today xxxxxx

Honey its ok to protect yourself, but i have found that when i feared the worst its usually the best lol. My fingers are crossed for you (Sorry i cant cross my legs, i got the egg on my fertility monitor and am trying to catch the two follies i have up there lol) I am so praying for positive news, and will be here to support you and hug you either way it goes!! Stay strong honey and BELIEVE!!

 

[Dwrgi]

Dwrgi Hugs, hugs many hugs. Sweetie it really is mind blowing. If you ever decide to give up that is a different thing to discuss. We would all support you through with the feelings. But I feel that you are very frustrated at the moment and you are looking for an exit whole. I had the exact same reaction when I heard about the prices in ARGC. I expected all the posh rich girls lining the waiting room. That just was not the case at all. Most are like very middle class families who try to pinch on whatever they can. And there are ways. As HA said not every tx is the same. Ask that girl you talked to if she had any immune tx as well. Cause that's what really bulks up the price. You could do without it. The blood scans add up too which is unavoidable. But for example once you get pregnant u can do the HSG's in your local if it is cheaper up there. You can get a hysterescoy with a local clinic again if it is cheaper there.You can try to get the meds from a cheaper supplier. You can also ask your GP if they can help you out with some of the meds. Some GP's actually did do that. Maybe not the stimm meds but they can prescribe clexane and progestrone suppositories. Or you can ignore all those meds after pregnancy cause most women don't usethem anyway. I kept it cause I knew I had a tendency to autoimmune issues through mum. My leveles were good yet we just didn't get pregnant for years. So the only other explanation was that. But you have never had a good IVF process yet where your eggs have fertilised. So You need to get a solid tx first. There is a break down of all the prices on their website and actually their individual procedure ex: Egg transfer, single blood test, scan etc is along side the London prices. But all the other extra work makes them bulk up so much. If you want to go through one by one and have an estimate of your tx I could sit down and help you add up all that.

The tx without autoimmunes should cost somewhere between 7000 to 10000. Which is still a lot. But having a near %5o chance in one go is better than having %30 chance in 2 goes. And imagine you spent 5000 already without the embryo transfer and hysterescopy. Your tx would have been more expensive if those steps were actually taken. And it would keep adding up if you have a couple more that doesn't work.
Now ARGC might still be out for you. Than UCH results are really quite bright as well. Which is around 6000-7000 I believe. You can call and find out.
Also did you ask that girl with a low AMH where she got her IVF with BFP? I wonder if that is workable?
There is the option of going for donor eggs abroad as well if you are willing to

Skye-Oh thank you so much for all of this. I completely agree that I am 100% frustrated by what happened to me, and know that eggs were lost, for whatever reason. They also gave no positivity either as it was DHEA, then come back, or DE. It was dreadful, come to think of it, and I can't believe how I didn't fall in a heap on the floor then. I don't understand why they let my follies grow so large, and I don't understand why they didn't take a daily blood test either. I know that I want to use another clinic, the logistics of the London ones are mind-blowing, and I'm stalling because of it. I really appreciate your practical advice as you are so knowledgable in all this. The girl whose diary I tracked did have immune tests. I also like your practical suggestions of how to save money. It's whether you have the fight left, isn't it, and I don't think that I have properly 'grived' (as HA called it) the failed cycle which was cut short so abruptly. I definitely need time to accept what happened.

It makes far more sense to try with a clinic that can offer 30% odds, than 10% odds, even with the increased costs.

OH you are a true angel, and your rewards will be great!!

I love your photo of your OH! Hee hee!! I bet he would be tamping!!

Hope you're okay hun and thanks so much for the advice!

 

[HappyAuntie]

afm - need to keep this short and sweet cos Im at work and feeling a bit tearful today and want to try and keep my sanity and myself together. I "know" in my heart that tomorrow there will not be good news at the scan, but anyway scan in 14.30 (GMT) so Ill post when I get back what has happened, DH and I have planned to go to Birmingham for the day on Saturday to have some luch and a wander round - I think we have both done this subconsciously in case it's bad news, and I feel really sure it will be. I will probably be having a huge glass of wine (or 3)
big loves to you all,
you have kept me sane and I am so grateful, so just need to get through today xxxxxx

thank you ladies - you are soooo lovely, I am just throwing myself a pity party (and yes Dwrgi - you are right - protecting myself)

it's just one of those days

It's not a pity party, it's a natural reaction to what you're going through. Do whatever you need to do to get through today and tomorrow. And I think having a plan for Saturday is brilliant - either way tomorrow goes, you might very well want something fun planned ahead. And if Saturday morning rolls around and you don't feel like going, then don't go. There is nothing you "should" or "shouldn't" do. You do whatever you need to do.

And if you don't have the strength to feel positive going in to tomorrow, don't worry about it. No amount of positive or negative thinking is going to change the outcome, so don't beat yourself up for feeling the way you feel. It's ok to be scared and to fear the worst. Just be sure that, if it's good news tomorrow, you don't let your fear ruin your opportunity to celebrate and enjoy this pregnancy. Don't let your fear smother your hope completely.

In the meantime, as you all have done for me many times in the past, we will all think positive happy thoughts for you when you don't have the strength to do so for yourself.
xoxo

 

[FutureMommie]

Purple thanks for thinking of me but I am so sending major your way, don't feel like it's a pity party, you are just trying to prepare yourself but noting but PMA, and if you don't have it right now we are all rooting for you and have enough to keep you covered.

Dwrgi- I was wondering how things could be so different with my uterus only a year later but my re said that it could have rescarred

HA- FX for yu for tomorrow! and multiples? you can handle it

Titi- Thank you so much for sharing that story, I so needed that today!

Lava- How are those babies?

Skye- that pic of your dh was hilarious. I actually had fibriods removed before and the scar tissue seems to be a result of that.

Omm- * Waving*

AFM- I spoke with my RE yesterday and need to have a Lap and Hysteroscopy. That means that I will have to pay my insurance deductible and then my insurance will 80% so what we are trying to decide is should we wait until January so that we have met the deductible for the entire year next year or should we proceed now. My DH and I have to discuss it. Ugggh so many decisions.

 

[padbrat]

Whoooaa... where to start??

HA... that sounds like an amazing result so far.. I am so hopeful for you!!!

FA - I got pregnant straight after my last ERPC... not even one AF so I am also throwing a whole load of hope at you too!!

Skye - you had me in fits laughing at your OH!!! Thanks for the chuckles!!

Purps... Dwrgi is absolutely right... a big PMA punch to you until we know for sure after your scan... notice I say WE.. cos we are all in it together!

Talking of Dwrgi... chick if you want any info on ED please just ask. Not that I am an expert... but Skye is right, as always, I will help you if I can.

OMM!! Best of luck chick with your tests... all sounding good!

 

[onmymind17]

Dwrgi Hugs, hugs many hugs. Sweetie it really is mind blowing. If you ever decide to give up that is a different thing to discuss. We would all support you through with the feelings. But I feel that you are very frustrated at the moment and you are looking for an exit whole. I had the exact same reaction when I heard about the prices in ARGC. I expected all the posh rich girls lining the waiting room. That just was not the case at all. Most are like very middle class families who try to pinch on whatever they can. And there are ways. As HA said not every tx is the same. Ask that girl you talked to if she had any immune tx as well. Cause that's what really bulks up the price. You could do without it. The blood scans add up too which is unavoidable. But for example once you get pregnant u can do the HSG's in your local if it is cheaper up there. You can get a hysterescoy with a local clinic again if it is cheaper there.You can try to get the meds from a cheaper supplier. You can also ask your GP if they can help you out with some of the meds. Some GP's actually did do that. Maybe not the stimm meds but they can prescribe clexane and progestrone suppositories. Or you can ignore all those meds after pregnancy cause most women don't usethem anyway. I kept it cause I knew I had a tendency to autoimmune issues through mum. My leveles were good yet we just didn't get pregnant for years. So the only other explanation was that. But you have never had a good IVF process yet where your eggs have fertilised. So You need to get a solid tx first. There is a break down of all the prices on their website and actually their individual procedure ex: Egg transfer, single blood test, scan etc is along side the London prices. But all the other extra work makes them bulk up so much. If you want to go through one by one and have an estimate of your tx I could sit down and help you add up all that.

The tx without autoimmunes should cost somewhere between 7000 to 10000. Which is still a lot. But having a near %5o chance in one go is better than having %30 chance in 2 goes. And imagine you spent 5000 already without the embryo transfer and hysterescopy. Your tx would have been more expensive if those steps were actually taken. And it would keep adding up if you have a couple more that doesn't work.
Now ARGC might still be out for you. Than UCH results are really quite bright as well. Which is around 6000-7000 I believe. You can call and find out.
Also did you ask that girl with a low AMH where she got her IVF with BFP? I wonder if that is workable?
There is the option of going for donor eggs abroad as well if you are willing to

Skye-Oh thank you so much for all of this. I completely agree that I am 100% frustrated by what happened to me, and know that eggs were lost, for whatever reason. They also gave no positivity either as it was DHEA, then come back, or DE. It was dreadful, come to think of it, and I can't believe how I didn't fall in a heap on the floor then. I don't understand why they let my follies grow so large, and I don't understand why they didn't take a daily blood test either. I know that I want to use another clinic, the logistics of the London ones are mind-blowing, and I'm stalling because of it. I really appreciate your practical advice as you are so knowledgable in all this. The girl whose diary I tracked did have immune tests. I also like your practical suggestions of how to save money. It's whether you have the fight left, isn't it, and I don't think that I have properly 'grived' (as HA called it) the failed cycle which was cut short so abruptly. I definitely need time to accept what happened.

It makes far more sense to try with a clinic that can offer 30% odds, than 10% odds, even with the increased costs.

OH you are a true angel, and your rewards will be great!!

I love your photo of your OH! Hee hee!! I bet he would be tamping!!

Hope you're okay hun and thanks so much for the advice!

Honey you defiantly need to find another clinic, and if you have to wait, and i know you dont want to hear that word lol, you wait. One thing i am amazed at is the difference from this clinic to the other one, the old RE i was seeing did not care about anything, and while i am complaining and grumbling about this new RE wanting everything perfect, i do believe that with having everything perfect, my outcome will be much better. You cant just throw someone on meds, and then randomly check how they are doing and then do a Hail Mary and try to get the eggs, the whole IVF is not going to work. I know your stalling about going to that other clinic, but honey i really think it will be so worth it. I too agree that you need to deal with all your emotions from this failed IVF before you can move on, you need to deal with the anger and frustration and pain you went through only for them to go oh so sorry, now go away. I think though that if you make an appt to just talk to a new clinic that it might make you feel better, i know its tough, and you need to take time to heal, but dont dwell in the past either, you did learn some things, so take those good things and go for it!!

 

[Bearlake]

On my phone so can't do a long post.
Just wanted to come out of my lurkdom to say GOOD LUCK to you all wonderful ladies.
Purple, i will be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping for good news!
All of you who have started treatment, keep your spirits up and look after yourselves!
HA, I love how you have the way with words, so comforting and wise.
Drwgi, thinking of you and hoping that you'll find the right thing that you need to do next.
Skye, you're like a fairy god mother spreading knowledge and hope. Thank you!
OMM, you 've had so much going on. Well done & loads of hugs! It all looks really promising!

All the rest, loads and loads of luck and sticky babydust.
It is very difficult to stay in the land if self pity, when you are all so amazing.
Thanks again. X x x

 

[Tititimes2]

At work but wanted to say-

purps- like everyone has said, it is ok to feel what you need to feel honey. It is a very normal reaction. I know all of us here are holding you up and thinking positive for you. As they say, we got your back hon!

 

[purplelou]

thank you so much, you are all so lovely, I just love you all!!
Pad - when you said we are all in this together, I had a little cry, but just because I felt better - that was a lovely thing to say, thank you xx

I will let you know what happens.

and HA I will be thinking of you too, I haven't forgotten that it's a really important day for you.

thank you all again, I am so grateful xxx

 

[Butterfly67]

ladies, have been out of touch traveling over the last couple of days and now in the UK for this month's BDing.

Purple, everything crossed for this afternoon hon

Chris, all sounds great with the tests so far

Padbrat, shame about the possible redundancy but yes, maybe will be useful for looking after a

Dwrgi, I am so sure you will get a eventually, you deserve one

FM, hope they can sort out the scarring and move on for you

HA always such wise words and great news on the follies

and to everyone else

AFM, this might be over. BF had SA results back yesterday and not good, Dr said I was unlikely to get pg naturally due to low morphology. Get the exact numbers on Monday so will have to think about things then.

 

[Dwrgi]

Hi guys and how are you all??

Purple-not long to go now and I am certain it will go well. Try and remain calm, remember to breather, and what will be will be but I am sure thatyou are in with a shout so hang on in there hun! I am thinking of you and sending you lots and lots of positive vibes!

HA-Huge good luck with your treatment-is the trigger today??? I hope that those follies develop into something really really special! Your time is hear, I can feel it! Good luck!!

Butterfly-OMG, I have just seen your post, it must have crossed with mine. Oh dear oh dear. What a blow. But morphology can be tackled with the right vitamins, and remember that sperm have a three month shelf life. Zinc is the No. 1 vitamin to have and the Wellman Conception vits you can buy in the UK are fabulous at improving results. Of course, cutting back on alcohol, and eating healthily too can have a huge impact. Don't give up hun, there is lots of advice for this on the internet. Big hugs to you, you must be gutted after everything you have put yourself through, but it ain't over yet hun!!

Any news from MA and Amelia? Amelia should have arrived by now! How very exciting???

Hello to you all! Big hugs-you are all very special people who always give so much! Huge to each and every one of you!

AFM-CD28 and bad period pain all night, feel like cack today and a BFN on the test stick this morning. It couldn't have been a darker single line if it tried. Grrr. Think I'll just hit the chocolate-sod the caffeine!

Love to you all!

 

[NorthStar]

Butterfly am so sorry to hear that news about BF's SA. Once you've had time as the other ladies have said you can consider other options eg vitamins to improve things or even DS but right now you must be gutted, so sorry.

Purplelou thinking of you today, will check in later on and hoping for good news for you

Happy Auntie good luck to you today with the procedure.

Everyone else too many to mention happy Friday to you all, it's almost the weekened

Padbrat IDK about your company but when my company do layoffs they can't make the pregnant ladies redundant(I don't know much about UK employment laws as this is my first job in this country so take this with a pinch of salt LOL). What they do is the ladies go on mat leave and have their babies, get their maternity leave paid etc whilst they are off, and then when they are due back at work the notice period starts and only then they get made redundant. So they do get some extra £££ out of it this way which could work out perfectly for you if that is the usual practice here?

Dwrgi nothing and noone would stop me eating chocolate when AF is due they would have to prise it from my cold dead hand

 

[Dwrgi]

Butterfly am so sorry to hear that news about BF's SA. Once you've had time as the other ladies have said you can consider other options eg vitamins to improve things or even DS but right now you must be gutted, so sorry.

Purplelou thinking of you today, will check in later on and hoping for good news for you

Happy Auntie good luck to you today with the procedure.

Everyone else too many to mention happy Friday to you all, it's almost the weekened

Padbrat IDK about your company but when my company do layoffs they can't make the pregnant ladies redundant(I don't know much about UK employment laws as this is my first job in this country so take this with a pinch of salt LOL). What they do is the ladies go on mat leave and have their babies, get their maternity leave paid etc whilst they are off, and then when they are due back at work the notice period starts and only then they get made redundant. So they do get some extra £££ out of it this way which could work out perfectly for you if that is the usual practice here?

Dwrgi nothing and noone would stop me eating chocolate when AF is due they would have to prise it from my cold dead hand

I am completely with you on that one. I am eyeing up my mammoth sized bag of Maltesers as I write......

Butterfly-don't forget there is always ICSI-they choose the good sperm. Excellent results for male issue infertility. It's not over-don't feel it is the end of your journey!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[lavalux]

HA & Purplelou,
Thinking of you today!

Pad,
Sorry about the possible layoff & stress that involves. Stay focused on achieving your precious baby & everything will work out as it should.

Butterfly,
My DH had similar issues & showed good improvement on Wellman's Conception. Also, can they retest next month b/c SA results fluctuate.

Just to report, Rebekah/MA & Doug just welcomed into the world their baby girl at a little over 8 lbs. Amelia Gabrielle has finally arrived! She is healthy but being looked after for some sugar issues. Mother & baby are resting. She will post pictures hopefully soon.

Hi to everyone I missed. Happy Friday!!!