TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[skye2010]

Quick one for Butterfly,
Hon this is actually good news rather than bad. cause you know what the problem is and your days of traveling back and forths, trying in vain and wondering what's not working every month is over It might be a one of you never know but you go through a lot of hardship to try so it doesn't make sense for you to carry on naturally. He can start the Wellman conception tablets to improve the sperm. He can also avoid hot baths and having his balls near anything too warm. Laptop is a no no!!!!
But you also should consider IUI or IVF. It will be intense for a month or so but it will be easier than trying naturally for you. That is my personal advice. Maybe your dr might have a different suggestion
Try to keep it cool an consider all the options sweetie. No need to get upset too much over it cause at least the source of the problem is defined. xxxxxxx

 

[HappyAuntie]

AFM, this might be over. BF had SA results back yesterday and not good, Dr said I was unlikely to get pg naturally due to low morphology. Get the exact numbers on Monday so will have to think about things then.

As Skye said, it's actually good that you found this out - better to know that to continue trying in vain - now you can explore some other options that will boost your odds. And SAs can vary WIDELY from one sample to the next, even without him making any changes to his diet/habits etc. In the US, no male diagnosis is made until 3 SAs show the same result over the course of several months for that very reason.

Did the dr say anything about his count and motility? Because my DH has on average only 1-2% morphology, and we've gotten pregnant three times (twice on our own). He has a sky-high count and good motility, so that kind of compensates for the low morphology. When we first got that result, my RE recommended he take a multi-vitamin (which he already was doing) plus L-carnitine (500mg/day).

Good luck this weekend!

 

[HappyAuntie]

Well, I'm back and full of sperm.... DH had great numbers this morning - 95% motility and 144 million post-wash! That count is kind of in the middle of his range (his past SAs have ranged from 84-156 million post-wash), but that motility is a good 10% higher than he's ever had before. We won't find out the morphology for about a week, though, and that's always his hurdle.

Part of me really hopes it doesn't work this month - we have a little vacation planned for the end of Oct that we won't be able to do if I'm pregnant. Part of me is scared to death to get pregnant again, because all I've ever known of pregnancy is misery and grief, and getting pregnant means being at risk of losing the baby. I know that sounds crazy, but that's life with recurrent mc.

I'm off to yoga in a few minutes. Hopefully that will help me center my thoughts and shake these neuroses.

 

[Dwrgi]

Well, I'm back and full of sperm.... DH had great numbers this morning - 95% motility and 144 million post-wash! That count is kind of in the middle of his range (his past SAs have ranged from 84-156 million post-wash), but that motility is a good 10% higher than he's ever had before. We won't find out the morphology for about a week, though, and that's always his hurdle.

Part of me really hopes it doesn't work this month - we have a little vacation planned for the end of Oct that we won't be able to do if I'm pregnant. Part of me is scared to death to get pregnant again, because all I've ever known of pregnancy is misery and grief, and getting pregnant means being at risk of losing the baby. I know that sounds crazy, but that's life with recurrent mc.

I'm off to yoga in a few minutes. Hopefully that will help me center my thoughts and shake these neuroses.

Hey Happy, that is an amazing result from your DH. Wow! Take it easy today-lots of fresh pineapple juice and brazil nuts to help with implantation... But, more than anything, you need to relax, and yoga sounds like just the thing. Let's hope that the morphology results come back good, and that it leads to a happy, healthy pregnancy. Feelin scared is completely normal after what you have been through, but it is a hurdle, but that doesn't mean that you can't get past it. I am so keeping everything crossed for you-it all sounds so promising, with your e levels and everything else!

Good luck hun, I'm sending you lots of

 

[Butterfly67]

Quick one for Butterfly,
Hon this is actually good news rather than bad. cause you know what the problem is and your days of traveling back and forths, trying in vain and wondering what's not working every month is over It might be a one of you never know but you go through a lot of hardship to try so it doesn't make sense for you to carry on naturally. He can start the Wellman conception tablets to improve the sperm. He can also avoid hot baths and having his balls near anything too warm. Laptop is a no no!!!!
But you also should consider IUI or IVF. It will be intense for a month or so but it will be easier than trying naturally for you. That is my personal advice. Maybe your dr might have a different suggestion
Try to keep it cool an consider all the options sweetie. No need to get upset too much over it cause at least the source of the problem is defined. xxxxxxx

Thanks Syke, yes you are right, it is a good thing to know what is wrong, wise words (as always from you!) so we can work on that. Yes he is big on hot baths and laptops but I have tried to keep him away from those things for the last few months. I just stopped at the chemist and got him some zinc but might also get some Wellman conception - they just didn't have them in the one I found. Once I get back I will go and see my Dr with his results and see what he suggests.

AFM, this might be over. BF had SA results back yesterday and not good, Dr said I was unlikely to get pg naturally due to low morphology. Get the exact numbers on Monday so will have to think about things then.

As Skye said, it's actually good that you found this out - better to know that to continue trying in vain - now you can explore some other options that will boost your odds. And SAs can vary WIDELY from one sample to the next, even without him making any changes to his diet/habits etc. In the US, no male diagnosis is made until 3 SAs show the same result over the course of several months for that very reason.

Did the dr say anything about his count and motility? Because my DH has on average only 1-2% morphology, and we've gotten pregnant three times (twice on our own). He has a sky-high count and good motility, so that kind of compensates for the low morphology. When we first got that result, my RE recommended he take a multi-vitamin (which he already was doing) plus L-carnitine (500mg/day).

Good luck this weekend!

Thanks HA and that is interesting about what you say about the 3 tests - I might try and get him to go have another next month at a private clinic or else ask him if his Dr suggests having another.

The Dr did say that he had a good count - don't know exactly how many but will get the report on Monday - it should have rung bells about your DH as I have read your siggie and remember now you saying about him and the fact that you got pg. I suppose for someone with 200million and 1% that is the same as 20 million and 5% so yes, numbers do count.

I need to see from him where he wants to go and if he will do IVF. I just don't know right now on a number things including - if he will do it - if we/I can afford it - if I would have to do donor eggs would he still do it - do I want to go through all of it with money I don't have with the chance of it failing?

Anyway, thanks ladies it's so good to have you here

Oh and HA, you know it will be sod's law (in a good way) that this one will stick because then you will have to cancel your holiday - great that DH had high numbers and hope that the yoga helps

 

[twinkle1975]

Come on sticky HA beany!!!! (Sod the holiday - swap it for a sticky bean!!)

 

[purplelou]

dear HA, I am keeping all my appendages crossed for you and sending a ton of sticky dust your way somebody here needs to have a super sticky bean in the next week or so - and I can't think of anyone better to start us off, than you!

Butterfly, sorry about your OH's SA, but it does sound like there are defintely steps that you can take which might improve things and give your sticky bean!

to everyone (so sorry I am not mentioning everyone individually by name) I am sending you all, love and

afm - straight to the point, no baby, no sac.
the scan lady was lovely and so kind but could see nothing at all, she did say my endometriu had returned to normal, and a hgc test was negative. The staff said it looks like because Ive had no pain and no bleeding, the sac looks to have been absorbed by my body. They expect AF to arrive in the next few weeks and then......well we start all over.
I had a bit of a cry, although I had convinced myself that was going to be the result already, but me and DH have talked it over and he said that we are no worse off than we were a few weeks ago, and that we still have each other - he really knows just what to say. I am so lucky! anyways, that's my day. again, ladies you are all so wonderful and lovely, thank you for supporting me through this.

 

[NorthStar]

Purplelou so sorry for your loss and that you've had to go through it twice your husband sounds like a lovely man though and once you've recovered you'll get that sticky bean

 

[HappyAuntie]

Oh Lou, my heart sank when I read your post. I am so sorry. Our bodies can be so cruel sometimes. Hold tight to that sweet DH of yours - he's a gem. And remember what I said about tomorrow - if you wake up and don't feel like going, don't go. If you wake up and think it would feel good to go, then go. There are no "shoulds" - you two do whatever it is you need to do.

 

[onmymind17]

Awwww purple, honey i am so sorry, i was praying so hard for you honey. I am glad you had a good cry, as much as we try and shield ourselves there is alway that tiny little flicker of hope. I am sending you tons of hugs, and yes your DH is fantastic, what a sweetheart. You take care of yourself honey, and do whatever pleases you.

 

[Macwooly]

Hello ladies so sorry not been around for a while (IT issues) so sorry I can't catch up and if I miss people then please forgive me.

Lou I am so sorry to hear of your lose sending lots of for you

HA sending lots of and hoping you have a good reason to cancel your holiday

Lots of to anyone else needing one and for all wanting some and lots of healthy vibes for the ladies expecting their LOs.

 

[onmymind17]

Well, I'm back and full of sperm.... DH had great numbers this morning - 95% motility and 144 million post-wash! That count is kind of in the middle of his range (his past SAs have ranged from 84-156 million post-wash), but that motility is a good 10% higher than he's ever had before. We won't find out the morphology for about a week, though, and that's always his hurdle.

Part of me really hopes it doesn't work this month - we have a little vacation planned for the end of Oct that we won't be able to do if I'm pregnant. Part of me is scared to death to get pregnant again, because all I've ever known of pregnancy is misery and grief, and getting pregnant means being at risk of losing the baby. I know that sounds crazy, but that's life with recurrent mc.

I'm off to yoga in a few minutes. Hopefully that will help me center my thoughts and shake these neuroses.

Wow, fantastic number, i will keep my fingers crossed that the morphology is good also. And honey trust me it does not sound crazy to be afraid of getting pg, i know EXACTLY what you mean, i do the same thing, as a matter of fact i have already convinced myself that this IVF is not going to work, after losing 4 i just dont see how IVF can help, i think i am just protecting myself is what's happening. But honey you need to remember one thing, this is NOT the same pg as the other ones, this one is totaly different, now will it end the same way, i dont know, but i do know this one is NOT the same as the last one. I hope you enjoy your yoga, and i will keep my fingers crossed for you!! go little spermies go!!!!

 

[onmymind17]

Quick one for Butterfly,
Hon this is actually good news rather than bad. cause you know what the problem is and your days of traveling back and forths, trying in vain and wondering what's not working every month is over It might be a one of you never know but you go through a lot of hardship to try so it doesn't make sense for you to carry on naturally. He can start the Wellman conception tablets to improve the sperm. He can also avoid hot baths and having his balls near anything too warm. Laptop is a no no!!!!
But you also should consider IUI or IVF. It will be intense for a month or so but it will be easier than trying naturally for you. That is my personal advice. Maybe your dr might have a different suggestion
Try to keep it cool an consider all the options sweetie. No need to get upset too much over it cause at least the source of the problem is defined. xxxxxxx

Thanks Syke, yes you are right, it is a good thing to know what is wrong, wise words (as always from you!) so we can work on that. Yes he is big on hot baths and laptops but I have tried to keep him away from those things for the last few months. I just stopped at the chemist and got him some zinc but might also get some Wellman conception - they just didn't have them in the one I found. Once I get back I will go and see my Dr with his results and see what he suggests.

AFM, this might be over. BF had SA results back yesterday and not good, Dr said I was unlikely to get pg naturally due to low morphology. Get the exact numbers on Monday so will have to think about things then.

As Skye said, it's actually good that you found this out - better to know that to continue trying in vain - now you can explore some other options that will boost your odds. And SAs can vary WIDELY from one sample to the next, even without him making any changes to his diet/habits etc. In the US, no male diagnosis is made until 3 SAs show the same result over the course of several months for that very reason.

Did the dr say anything about his count and motility? Because my DH has on average only 1-2% morphology, and we've gotten pregnant three times (twice on our own). He has a sky-high count and good motility, so that kind of compensates for the low morphology. When we first got that result, my RE recommended he take a multi-vitamin (which he already was doing) plus L-carnitine (500mg/day).

Good luck this weekend!

Thanks HA and that is interesting about what you say about the 3 tests - I might try and get him to go have another next month at a private clinic or else ask him if his Dr suggests having another.

The Dr did say that he had a good count - don't know exactly how many but will get the report on Monday - it should have rung bells about your DH as I have read your siggie and remember now you saying about him and the fact that you got pg. I suppose for someone with 200million and 1% that is the same as 20 million and 5% so yes, numbers do count.

I need to see from him where he wants to go and if he will do IVF. I just don't know right now on a number things including - if he will do it - if we/I can afford it - if I would have to do donor eggs would he still do it - do I want to go through all of it with money I don't have with the chance of it failing?

Anyway, thanks ladies it's so good to have you here

Oh and HA, you know it will be sod's law (in a good way) that this one will stick because then you will have to cancel your holiday - great that DH had high numbers and hope that the yoga helps

Honey i am sorry, while its great that you know something is wrong, and there is something you can focus on rather than just being unexplained it still SUCKS!!!! I know where your at with the whole IVF thing too, so many questions, and no answers. I think the same thing, is this IVF even going to work, i dont have the best odds, but you know what, i have to give it a shot, i have to know that when i walk away from this TTC stuff, i did everything i could to have a baby. For now i think you just need to get all the info about him and go from there, IVF is not necessarly you next step, they may put him on Clomid to see if they cant get his little guys a bit better.

 

[onmymind17]

Hello ladies so sorry not been around for a while (IT issues) so sorry I can't catch up and if I miss people then please forgive me.

Lou I am so sorry to hear of your lose sending lots of for you

HA sending lots of and hoping you have a good reason to cancel your holiday

Lots of to anyone else needing one and for all wanting some and lots of healthy vibes for the ladies expecting their LOs.

Woooooooooooly, honey i have missed you, i am sorry about the IT issues, i hope all is well with you!!!

 

[Macwooly]

Hello ladies so sorry not been around for a while (IT issues) so sorry I can't catch up and if I miss people then please forgive me.

Lou I am so sorry to hear of your lose sending lots of for you

HA sending lots of and hoping you have a good reason to cancel your holiday

Lots of to anyone else needing one and for all wanting some and lots of healthy vibes for the ladies expecting their LOs.

Woooooooooooly, honey i have missed you, i am sorry about the IT issues, i hope all is well with you!!!

All is well thanks. Lost 16.5lb so far in 11 weeks and lost nearly 2 dress sizes On the whatever wagon as not temping or using OPKs and know roughly when I ovulate (tomorrow) but we're doing our best to catch the golden egg

 

[purplelou]

wooly - thank you, I am so glad to see you back! well done on the amazing weight loss, you are a star!! good luck - I really hope you catch that eggy!

Big



and Omm, thank you sweetie, this little bean wasn't meant to be, but I have no doubt in my heart that if prayers and hopes were a gaurantee, then it would have been the stickiest one ever, so thank you, big loves xx

HA - Thank you, and yes, I will remember what you said, and we will see what tomorrow feels like xxxx

 

[tigerlily1975]

Lovely Purple, I'm so very sorry sweetheart. I can only send virtual so you make sure you get plenty of cuddles from your wonderful husband. Have faith, you will get there. Big

HA: I'm keeping everything crossed for you. It really has to be your turn.. come on sticky, little bean! We want our Happy Auntie to be a Happy Mummy, too!

OMM: Wow, it sounds like everything is coming together, good luck!

Butterfly: Sorry to hear about OH's SA, but it sounds like there's a lot that can be done, hang-in there. Oh, and I'm pleased to hear you're returning to Blighty

Wooly: It's always lovely to hear from you and well done on the weight loss! Wowser!

Dwrgi: You need a big I know you have the strength to continue this journey and we'll always be here to support you along the way.

Skye: How are you? I hope you're getting some rest, madam!

Twinkle: Glad you got through the tests!

FM: Oh, how frustrating. I hope it all goes well

Never: If you're still out there lurking, I hope you're well, hun. We're here when you feel ready to return

Northstar: How are you, sweetie?

Padbrat: Good luck, I'm rooting for you!

Lava: A boy and a girl!! That's perfect, I couldn't be happier for you!

Carol: Congratulations! Wonderful news!

Huge bear and lots of to everyone, I'm so very sorry if I've missed anyone.. memory isn't what it used to be!

AFM.. well, we had all our tests. Mine came back okay (a few cysts, but the Dr didn't seemed concerned), but DH's repeat SA again showed no sperm at all. He then examined husband - as he put it "he could've brought me dinner first!" and then ruled out an US (not sure what that meant?), so he's now had bloods sent off to see if he's a Cystic Fibrosis carrier and also Karyotype (abnormal chromosomes). We go back in November and depending on those results the next step will be biopsies on DH to see if there are any at all.

We were a little disheartened afterwards, I think we were both hoping that the first test might've been a lab error, but then as DH said it was a positive appointment, as it looks like I'm 'good to go'. We're still undecided about the DS, but I'm sure it'll be something we'll consider more seriously if and when the time comes.

I'm heading to bed now as I'm taking part in the 13.1 mile Cancer Research walk around London tomorrow and I need sleeeeeep. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend, enjoy!!

With love,

C xx

 

[NorthStar]

Goodluck in the walk tomorrow tigerlily

 

[Macwooly]

Good luck tomorrow Tigerlily x

 

[HappyAuntie]

Hello ladies so sorry not been around for a while (IT issues) so sorry I can't catch up and if I miss people then please forgive me.

Hi Mac!! Lovely to see you again, and WTG on the weight loss!!!

Wow, fantastic number, i will keep my fingers crossed that the morphology is good also. And honey trust me it does not sound crazy to be afraid of getting pg, i know EXACTLY what you mean, i do the same thing, as a matter of fact i have already convinced myself that this IVF is not going to work, after losing 4 i just dont see how IVF can help, i think i am just protecting myself is what's happening. But honey you need to remember one thing, this is NOT the same pg as the other ones, this one is totaly different, now will it end the same way, i dont know, but i do know this one is NOT the same as the last one. I hope you enjoy your yoga, and i will keep my fingers crossed for you!! go little spermies go!!!!

Thank you, Chris - your words really struck a chord with me. And made me feel a little less crazy, which is always appreciated!

HA: I'm keeping everything crossed for you. It really has to be your turn.. come on sticky, little bean! We want our Happy Auntie to be a Happy Mummy, too!

...

AFM.. well, we had all our tests. Mine came back okay (a few cysts, but the Dr didn't seemed concerned), but DH's repeat SA again showed no sperm at all. He then examined husband - as he put it "he could've brought me dinner first!" and then ruled out an US (not sure what that meant?), so he's now had bloods sent off to see if he's a Cystic Fibrosis carrier and also Karyotype (abnormal chromosomes). We go back in November and depending on those results the next step will be biopsies on DH to see if there are any at all.

We were a little disheartened afterwards, I think we were both hoping that the first test might've been a lab error, but then as DH said it was a positive appointment, as it looks like I'm 'good to go'. We're still undecided about the DS, but I'm sure it'll be something we'll consider more seriously if and when the time comes.

I'm heading to bed now as I'm taking part in the 13.1 mile Cancer Research walk around London tomorrow and I need sleeeeeep. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend, enjoy!!

With love,

C xx

Your words made me cry, too! I think part of my fear of being pregnant again is that part of me is afraid I'm just never going to have a baby, so getting my hopes up is too scary - it feels like I'm just setting myself up for defeat over and over again.

I truly hope your DH's labs come back with some answers... at least then you would know exactly what you're dealing with and could (hopefully) have an easier time reaching a decision on what you want to do next. And as for his feeling violated, I secretly kind of love it when our DHs have to experience that - it gives them just a tiny glimpse of what our appts feel like every damn time! Our first IUI was on Valentine's Day of this year - I remember joking with my dr that I was having a more intimate V-Day with him than I was with my husband!!

Good luck with your walk tomorrow. Here's hoping for sunny skies, strong legs and comfortable shoes.


Thanks to all of you for helping me feel less crazy today. I would be so lost without this group - I love you all!! I hope you all get to enjoy your weekends. DH and I have a bunch of gardening to do tomorrow - not something I particularly enjoy, but at least the weather will be nice, and the new tulips and crocuses come springtime will make me happy! And Sunday is our annual block party, which is always a good time. We really lucked out when we moved here two years ago - we actually love our neighbors!

xoxo
HA