TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[missyt]

OMM, sorry I just read your post after about the meds. I think the natural cycle IVF is worth looking into. There is a clinic in my area that does that. I'm still rooting for your no matter what you decide.

Butterfly, I'm sorry about your conversation with ex BF. I understand what you mean about not wanting to do it alone. I'm praying for you.

 

[purplelou]

Hi Ladies,

Ive been MIA over the weekend, Ive felt too lazy to do anything much to be honest, but I have been reading.

OMM - Im so sorry about the whole cost thing, it seems prohibitively expensive!! Skye had a great idea, and I wonder if it's worth checking out other sites like this one to see if they have similar sections, or even post a "wanted" post, to see if any ladies have the right kind of leftover meds. I hope there is a soloution for you xxx

HA - I am here and thinking of you, I wish I could do more xx

Butterfly, gosh, that's a difficult one. I am hoping that you do not have to think any further than this cycle because you get that elusive BFP!

Twinkle - Damn that witch!! sorry she arrived.

Sunny - again honey I am so sorry, big coming your way, take one day at a time, becuase this is so hard. I am not sure where you live, but my local hospital automatically runs blood tests for all sorts after 3rd MC to investigate.

FM - you have such a lovely positive attitude!

Missy - I am here rooting for you that this first IVF is successful, your clinic sounds very positive!

Dwrgi - naughty dogs!! I hope they didn't give you any trouble sneaking off on any adventures this weekend xx how are you feeling in yourself now?

pad - only 10 days!! I am getting so excited, anyone would think I was coming with you lol! I hope you will be able to get some relaxing time in too!

never, northstar, bear, forever, keekee, wooly - hope you lovely ladies are all well xx

to our lovely pregnant graduates - skye, lava, carole, nmg - hope you ladies are all doing well and getting plenty of rest xx

afm - well, I am temping, and even set my alarm to do it at the right time over the weekend, I just want to make sure my cycle has not changed drastically since it's the first after MC, Im currently CD8 with 2-3 days until Ov, and DH (bless him) says he is ready and raring to go lol!

 

[twinkle1975]

Well yesterday was a joy from start to finish!!

The witch is definitely here so I was already feeling crappy.

I then went to work where I was leading a baptism service - plaster on smile, cluck over baby, keep smiling , meet Godmother turns out to be a girl I used to have a saturday job with, meet her 2 children, keep smiling.

Go & buy new hamster, gnash teeth over the fact that I can't even have a proper fur baby that I can cuddle.

Go the local shopping mall, spot 16 pregnant women within the first 10 minutes. Try clothes on, feel like a heifer.
Follow this up by buying some chocolate truffles.

Eat all truffles.

Go out for a friend's birthday, smile through conversations about babies and puppies

Come home, tell DH it's never going to happen. He replies with "Yeah it will" and falls asleep!

 

[Butterfly67]

Twinkle although your post did give me a chuckle too I have just finished the box of quality street I bought a couple of days ago

 

[Dwrgi]

Well yesterday was a joy from start to finish!!

The witch is definitely here so I was already feeling crappy.

I then went to work where I was leading a baptism service - plaster on smile, cluck over baby, keep smiling , meet Godmother turns out to be a girl I used to have a saturday job with, meet her 2 children, keep smiling.

Go & buy new hamster, gnash teeth over the fact that I can't even have a proper fur baby that I can cuddle.

Go the local shopping mall, spot 16 pregnant women within the first 10 minutes. Try clothes on, feel like a heifer.
Follow this up by buying some chocolate truffles.

Eat all truffles.

Go out for a friend's birthday, smile through conversations about babies and puppies

Come home, tell DH it's never going to happen. He replies with "Yeah it will" and falls asleep!

I absolutely love your DH's nonchalance! They have no idea how this thing affects us!!! I suppose it's quite comforting really-if he didn't think it was going to happen, he'd be a bit more concerned!!

I so empathise with what you have described though-it just feels as though there is a supreme being who is deliberately sending pregnant women and new mothers into our paths. They are everywhere-like a plague. I went and had coffee with my MIL two days after my failed IVF attempt, and a VERY pregnant woman (she shouldn't have been out, I don't think; I think she should have been at home packing her overnight bag) came and stood right by our table, and her bump was at my eye level. I very loudly said "...failed IVF, I'm so upset" and she buggered off. Honestly, it is beyond beyond.

However, like my acupuncturist said last week perhaps we need to be thinking of how these people are dressed so that we can pick up tips for how to do it when it does, eventually, happen to us, and also consider conversations about babies and bumps as fact finding exercises, cos we will need all that info one day when we're holding our little bbs and haven't got a clue what to do with them!!!

I don't blame you for eating all those truffles-I would have too. In fact, I ate half a box of Celebrations! I didn't feel like celebrating after that, I can tell you!!!

Hang on in there hun-your DH is right. It WILL happen, you're doing all the right things, and it's just a matter of getting the treatment right and bingo stingo, a BFP!!! Guaranteed!

For now,

 

[Dwrgi]

Guys, is it worth getting a CBFM???

I generally ov around CD14-15, but last few days, I have been experiencing a lot of twinges in ovary area-perhaps effects of acupuncture?

Would said CBFM help, or is it a glorified way of printing money for CB execs???

Thanks guys!!

 

[NorthStar]

Hey Dwrgi - do you chart at all?

Personally I temp and throw in some opks when Ov is likely to be approaching, the CBFM is undoubtedly a good device but, to me, doesn't seem necessary since I know what to look for in my "signs".

The BBT thermometer costs about £5 from amazon and the opks are IC ones, cost me next to nothing. And if I need to go away somewhere it's easy just to throw the BBT into my toiletries bag.

Twinkle, shitty day, truly

 

[Dwrgi]

Hey Dwrgi - do you chart at all?

Personally I temp and throw in some opks when Ov is likely to be approaching, the CBFM is undoubtedly a good device but, to me, doesn't seem necessary since I know what to look for in my "signs".

The BBT thermometer costs about £5 from amazon and the opks are IC ones, cost me next to nothing. And if I need to go away somewhere it's easy just to throw the BBT into my toiletries bag.

Twinkle, shitty day, truly

Thanks hun! I used to temp religiously for about 6 months. I know my signs quite well, although I never have much CM (candida symptom, apparently). I use CB digital sticks, but ran out of those, and am now using the cheapie Amazon which seem to do the trick. I always get ovulation pains, sometimes quite painful, so generally know when it happens. S'pose no point wasting money then on the monitor.... it's quite pricey isn't it??

 

[onmymind17]

Hey Dwrgi - do you chart at all?

Personally I temp and throw in some opks when Ov is likely to be approaching, the CBFM is undoubtedly a good device but, to me, doesn't seem necessary since I know what to look for in my "signs".

The BBT thermometer costs about £5 from amazon and the opks are IC ones, cost me next to nothing. And if I need to go away somewhere it's easy just to throw the BBT into my toiletries bag.

Twinkle, shitty day, truly

Amanda, i agree with this, i bought mine and it tells me exactly what i already knew, so i think i am going to return mine (Yeah for Amazon 365 day return policy on it). Nothing seems to help us, we have perfect timing, both of us are fine, heck i even released two eggs this cycle and i still cant seem to get pg. I say go with the BBT, it works great except for remembering to use it lol.

 

[onmymind17]

Twinkle honey, im sorry but your post made me laugh. You poor thing and why is it when we feel like a we eat more lol. Hang in there honey, your DH is right, it will happen for you!! And maybe just maybe that was God's way of saying dont stress, just relax, it will happen!!

 

[onmymind17]

HA and Padbrat, i am so excited for you ladies!!!! I just know this time its going to work for both of you!!

How is everybody else doing? Stinking Monday again, ugh i so dont want to go to work!!!! I am going to send in our paperwork for the Compassionate Care program, i should know in a day or two if we qualify, fingers crossed for that. I hope you all have a wonderful day!!

 

[MommyToBeIsMe]

Hi Ladies,

I'll be 38 on Wed. & my DH & I are ttc our first. This is our 2nd month trying and I absolutely feel like there has been an explosion of babies all around me. On tv, with friends on FB, just everywhere! FXed for everyone. I had to print out all the abbreviations, it's a whole new language here. Kids texting have nothing on us!!!

 

[twinkle1975]

Hi Ladies,

I'll be 38 on Wed. & my DH & I are ttc our first. This is our 2nd month trying and I absolutely feel like there has been an explosion of babies all around me. On tv, with friends on FB, just everywhere! FXed for everyone. I had to print out all the abbreviations, it's a whole new language here. Kids texting have nothing on us!!!

Hello and welcome Hope your stay with us is short & sweet!

 

[missyt]

Twinkle, you can virtually slap me if you want (because I hate people giving me advice)but the first thing you have to do is stop saying its not going to happen. I'm reading a book on positive thinkng and it said we should do the opposite, say it will happen, picture yourself pregnant and with your baby and yes, it will happen. I used go around saying to DH too that it won't happen. I didn't realize until I started reading this book that I was only hurting my sanity more by thinking negative thoughts. I actually feel better by thinking these positive thoughts. I just felt like I needed to share this with you because it works for me and the best thing about this group is that we help each other through this most difficult time.

Dwrgi, thanks for telling Twinkle it will happen. It will happen for you too.

AFM, I'm feeling a bit crampy on the BCP. My next RE appointment is 10/17 and I have another acupuncture appointment before then. I told my nurse that I'm doing acupuncture and she said they highly recommend that for IVF. DH has also agreed to go to acupuncture as well seeing his swimmers aren't exactly stellar and we need all the help we can get considering all we are spending on IVF. With that said, I'm not sure if you US girls know that you can write off all these fertility related costs from your taxes as long as it comes up to 7.5% of your gross income. That is what DH and I are going to do. That includes all your medication, co-pays, anything not covered by insurance, mileage to and from your appointments, and acupuncture. You may want to check with an account on the details but its worthing looking into. Also, I've decided not to talk to my BF for a while. Over the weekend I thought about how I need to be positive and stress free right now going through this IVF. I'm very disapointed in her friendship for dropping this bomb on me right now as I'm going through IVF when I told her I need to destress during this time. She's also known all the details about how I've been very depressed over all of this and was on anti-depressents. She also knew that I have been off the anti-depressents for 3 weeks in preparation for IVF so the effects are pretty much worn off. I decided to go off of them as a personal choice right now. I just don't think it was appropriate for her to tell me her news right now, not that I'm not happy for her, but it seriously makes me question our friendship. I know I wouldn't have done it to her and would've been a lot more sensitive and thoughtful during her vulnerable state. She left me a vm yesterday if DH and I wanted to come to dinner. I texted her back saying I had a bad night the other night, I need this time to take care of myself and I'm not up for being social right now. I don't know if she got the hint but for the rest of my sanity I have left, I'm going to leave it at that and just avoid her. I just don't need a confrontation right now and jeoprodize my emotional state anymore. I was a lot more distraught than I let on the night she told me she was pregnant. DH almost took me to the hospital because I was having such a meltdown. I'm better now but it took me reading a self help book, acpuncture, a professional massage, meditating, prayer, running and yoga (all this weekend) to get me to a better place. You girls understand and this is where I need to be. I want to let you all know that I appreciate all of you and I can truly be happy when you all get your BFP because we all have been struggling for a long time and we deserve to be happy.

 

[NorthStar]

Yep if you know the signs, and can remember to take the temp then the CBFM might not add much to the mix TTC wise, that you wouldn't get from a simple BBT chart, if you get O pains then that's always a pretty good indicator.

I only use IC opks myself, they work absolutely fine not that I really need them but I like having that extra bit of analysis, I get them from this company here which are really cheap (I'm not affiliated in anyway! I promise!) and I can generally see the gradual progression of the line getting darker.

https://www.homehealth-uk.com/index.html

 

[missyt]

Hi Ladies,

I'll be 38 on Wed. & my DH & I are ttc our first. This is our 2nd month trying and I absolutely feel like there has been an explosion of babies all around me. On tv, with friends on FB, just everywhere! FXed for everyone. I had to print out all the abbreviations, it's a whole new language here. Kids texting have nothing on us!!!

Welcome and best of luck to you!

 

[NorthStar]

Missy one of my oldest friends (and 1 of only 2 people I told we were TTC about 6 months ago) sent me not 1 but 2 baby scans in the past couple of months so I know exactly what you are going through there. I asked her for space and not to talk baby stuff to me, and she got all offended, it's really made me see her in a different light.

Times like these, you really find out who your friends are sad but true.

 

[Dwrgi]

Yep if you know the signs, and can remember to take the temp then the CBFM might not add much to the mix TTC wise, that you wouldn't get from a simple BBT chart, if you get O pains then that's always a pretty good indicator.

I only use IC opks myself, they work absolutely fine not that I really need them but I like having that extra bit of analysis, I get them from this company here which are really cheap (I'm not affiliated in anyway! I promise!) and I can generally see the gradual progression of the line getting darker.

https://www.homehealth-uk.com/index.html

I think I'll have a look at this website, thanks for the tip!

 

[Dwrgi]

Twinkle, you can virtually slap me if you want (because I hate people giving me advice)but the first thing you have to do is stop saying its not going to happen. I'm reading a book on positive thinkng and it said we should do the opposite, say it will happen, picture yourself pregnant and with your baby and yes, it will happen. I used go around saying to DH too that it won't happen. I didn't realize until I started reading this book that I was only hurting my sanity more by thinking negative thoughts. I actually feel better by thinking these positive thoughts. I just felt like I needed to share this with you because it works for me and the best thing about this group is that we help each other through this most difficult time.

Dwrgi, thanks for telling Twinkle it will happen. It will happen for you too.

AFM, I'm feeling a bit crampy on the BCP. My next RE appointment is 10/17 and I have another acupuncture appointment before then. I told my nurse that I'm doing acupuncture and she said they highly recommend that for IVF. DH has also agreed to go to acupuncture as well seeing his swimmers aren't exactly stellar and we need all the help we can get considering all we are spending on IVF. With that said, I'm not sure if you US girls know that you can write off all these fertility related costs from your taxes as long as it comes up to 7.5% of your gross income. That is what DH and I are going to do. That includes all your medication, co-pays, anything not covered by insurance, mileage to and from your appointments, and acupuncture. You may want to check with an account on the details but its worthing looking into. Also, I've decided not to talk to my BF for a while. Over the weekend I thought about how I need to be positive and stress free right now going through this IVF. I'm very disapointed in her friendship for dropping this bomb on me right now as I'm going through IVF when I told her I need to destress during this time. She's also known all the details about how I've been very depressed over all of this and was on anti-depressents. She also knew that I have been off the anti-depressents for 3 weeks in preparation for IVF so the effects are pretty much worn off. I decided to go off of them as a personal choice right now. I just don't think it was appropriate for her to tell me her news right now, not that I'm not happy for her, but it seriously makes me question our friendship. I know I wouldn't have done it to her and would've been a lot more sensitive and thoughtful during her vulnerable state. She left me a vm yesterday if DH and I wanted to come to dinner. I texted her back saying I had a bad night the other night, I need this time to take care of myself and I'm not up for being social right now. I don't know if she got the hint but for the rest of my sanity I have left, I'm going to leave it at that and just avoid her. I just don't need a confrontation right now and jeoprodize my emotional state anymore. I was a lot more distraught than I let on the night she told me she was pregnant. DH almost took me to the hospital because I was having such a meltdown. I'm better now but it took me reading a self help book, acpuncture, a professional massage, meditating, prayer, running and yoga (all this weekend) to get me to a better place. You girls understand and this is where I need to be. I want to let you all know that I appreciate all of you and I can truly be happy when you all get your BFP because we all have been struggling for a long time and we deserve to be happy.

I will second what North Star said. My BF (since we were 13) has in the last year announced she was trying for her 2nd, then got PG first month, and then had a baby boy. Through this whole experience, she has not once asked how I am (I believe that when I first saw her after her announcement, she started going on about her bump and her sore boobs). Since then, it is clear that she values her ego far more than she values my feelings, so I have cut her out of my life. I'm afraid that TTC is a true test of friendhsip, in that you find out who your TRUE friends are. Unfortunately, I think people just have this impression that we are making our predicament up (perhaps they think we are 'doing it' at the wrong time, or are doing something wrong). The only people who understand are those who have been through it, with either a miscarriage or infertility themselves, and that is a fact. It is a sad fact that even our nearest and dearest friends cannot be there for us as we would wish, and the wise ones amongst us (i.e. ALL) of us accept that with some freindships it's time to let go, or take a step back. Of course it add sto the trauma, but as you said Missy, you have got to put yourself first!

I love your PMA-I completely believe in that, and have been trying to visualise good eggs, being pregnant, having the cot in my room, seeing my OH with our baby, etc. etc. I was also told it's good to massage your belly every day for ten minutes-gets the blood flowing and connects you to your womb. The point is that we have got to accept that it could happen, as I think sometimes we are so busy convincing ourselves it's a dead loss (and I am the worst culprit). We are basically rejecting the idea, but need to embrace it positively. I now that some would scoff at this, but what is there to lose in having this attitude, or in saying, 'I am going to be a mother, I am going to have a baby'? The trick is to keep the PMA up, as, the longer you
have been trying, the harder it us to stay confident. That is where the true challenge lies, so you have to write it down and remind yourself as often as you can!

So if you're going through IVF, visualise lots of follicles, lots of eggs, lots of fertilized eggs, a successful egg transfer, and visualise a positive result at the end of it!

Good luck hun, you will get there!

 

[twinkle1975]

Missyt - I don't want to slap you and I know you're right.

However I know I'm a natural pessimist & I actually find having an 'it'll happen' attitude really hard. I'd let the littlest glimmer of hope in this month after reading people's success stories about BFPs following HSGs and when I felt pre-witch symptoms starting I fell apart.

That's what it was like every month when I started ttc - more tears than I ever thought it was possible for one person to have inside and almost grinding to a halt for 4 or 5 days. Now that I assume it'll never happen life just goes on.