TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[sushipat]

Sad, that sometimes people don't rise to the ocasion...but it is like you girls said it, we just have to keep on going and don't give it to much attention...

The REAL friends will always stick with you


Baby dust to us all

 

[missyt]

Thanks girls for understanding. It really helps knowing there are people out there that understand. Northstar, I liked what you said about sharing their joy and them sharing our pain. You are exactly right. I woke up this morning feeling like our mutual friend popped over last night and was trying to give me a guilt trip over not sharing the joy. I'm just so annoyed. I keep trying not to stress out but its not working because people just won't leave me alone.

 

[missyt]

Dwrgi, obviously your friend doesn't get it either. I think you are right in that you find out who your true friends are. You are right that the IVF process is hard enough and then you have to grieve losing a friend. I'm there for you, girl. I know how you feel. Hang in there. You are a very strong person. I know I am too and we can't let these so called friends destroy our spirit.

 

[Dwrgi]

Dwrgi, obviously your friend doesn't get it either. I think you are right in that you find out who your true friends are. You are right that the IVF process is hard enough and then you have to grieve losing a friend. I'm there for you, girl. I know how you feel. Hang in there. You are a very strong person. I know I am too and we can't let these so called friends destroy our spirit.

Thanks Missy, that means a lot!!



Also-when do you start stimming? Are you doing short protocol (no down regulating)?? If so, I know that Skye would tell you that you need to eat lots of protein now daily to boost those eggs. Also, take it easy on the alcohol, especially wine! Boooooring, but it will be so worth it when you get your Thanksgiving BFP!!

 

[Macwooly]

Ladies I am so sorry so many of you are dealing with insensitivity

 

[missyt]

Dwrgi, obviously your friend doesn't get it either. I think you are right in that you find out who your true friends are. You are right that the IVF process is hard enough and then you have to grieve losing a friend. I'm there for you, girl. I know how you feel. Hang in there. You are a very strong person. I know I am too and we can't let these so called friends destroy our spirit.

Thanks Missy, that means a lot!!



Also-when do you start stimming? Are you doing short protocol (no down regulating)?? If so, I know that Skye would tell you that you need to eat lots of protein now daily to boost those eggs. Also, take it easy on the alcohol, especially wine! Boooooring, but it will be so worth it when you get your Thanksgiving BFP!!

dwrgi, I'm on BCP now. Is that long protocol? I start the injectibles around the 20th. Any advice is truly welcome!

 

[padbrat]

Hey ladies...

Isn't it odd how the people we believe are closer to us (friends) can be the ones that let us down so badly when we need them? This is precisly why we don't tell anyone at all about our losses or plans as unless they have walked in our shoes they cannot possibly understand what it feels like... especially when a healthy pregnancy is something so easily achieved for them. You all know more about what I am going through than even my parents.

HA you have me scraching my head... what is stimming?? Duh am such a dufus... I know I am having injections every day for suppressing something or other... and progynova... and aspirin and folic acid... and steriods for NK cells.... soon I stop the injections and increase the progynova and progesterone..(urghh yukky). have to say your weekend sounds lovely! ... also you have a few more days til test day... nothing is for sure until then. I am not saying have false hope, but also don't discount the possibility that you could be pregnant... we all know each pregnancy is very different. We wil keep the faith for you when you find it too hard xx

Missy... I wish I could help with the IVF questions.... but as you just read I am a complete dufus on all of this stuff!!! LOL

OMM I have all fingers crossed that you get the compassionate care package... wish we had that in the UK....

Dwrgi - how are you feeling today? Am I meant to be eating a whole load of protein and not having wine?.... If so... opppsie... I guess not cos I am not actually growing as egg myself... though have now stopped drinking for the next month..just in case.

Mucho loves to all xx

 

[twinkle1975]

I just ordered 40 OPKs from the company Northstar recommended - £6.49!!! That would have cost me £80 at a well known high street chemist!!!

 

[padbrat]

BARGAIN!!

That Northstar is a wise lady!!! Except for kick boxing... already said I aint doing none of that.... North you are clearly far more hard core than me!!

 

[caroleb73]

Hey Ladies I am back in the land of internet connectivity thank god!!! I was going crazy having no connection at home.

Missy it sounds like you are on the short protocol which is what I did for my first IVF and i found that a whole lot easier and it did get me a BFP. I will be praying for you and willing those eggs along. Also on the insensitive friend issue it is such a shame but seems to be a part of so many of our journeys as others just don't get what we are going through and feel that we are concentrating too much on TTC. Hey I would like to see how they felt and acted after LTTC with no BFP's, I am one of the most level headed people but this journey really did make me slghtly crazy at times and very unhappy. Hang in there and believe that this is your biggest chance of your own sticky BFP

I need to catch up on all that has happened on here the past days as this thread moves so quickly I am going to go back and read now whilst I wait for DH to come home as we are due to go out for dinner tonight.

AFM DH told his parents this weekend and his Mum really upset me, she didn't say congrats but went straight into a tirade how she knew I just needed to relax and it would happen and that I didn't need to waste my husbands money on all that treatment. Well I have been very patient and calm in the past but I guess the hormones just got to me as I blew up and stated that she didn't know about half of the treatment I have had and stated that what we had chosen not to tell her was that part of the problem had been DH bad swimmers in the last 12 months so we had needed treatment and then reminded her that it was our money and not his. I earn far more than my husband and it annoys me that she assumes that as he is the man he must keep me and I must be spending his money. Needless to say it shut her up.

Told DH and he has been amazingly supportive and told me that I don't have to have his Mum around immediately after the birth but she can wait a month until she flys out to see us.

Family and Friends they never cease to surprise us all.

Take care all and I am off to read all your posts and catch up

 

[HappyAuntie]

HA you have me scraching my head... what is stimming?? Duh am such a dufus... I know I am having injections every day for suppressing something or other... and progynova... and aspirin and folic acid... and steriods for NK cells.... soon I stop the injections and increase the progynova and progesterone..(urghh yukky). have to say your weekend sounds lovely! ... also you have a few more days til test day... nothing is for sure until then. I am not saying have false hope, but also don't discount the possibility that you could be pregnant... we all know each pregnancy is very different. We wil keep the faith for you when you find it too hard xx

I'm sorry! I keep forgetting this is your first time with injections! Stimming = stimulating, taking the drugs to kick your ovaries into overdrive. And thank you for the encouragement. More on that below...

I just ordered 40 OPKs from the company Northstar recommended - £6.49!!! That would have cost me £80 at a well known high street chemist!!!

I really love a good bargain!

AFM DH told his parents this weekend and his Mum really upset me, she didn't say congrats but went straight into a tirade how she knew I just needed to relax and it would happen and that I didn't need to waste my husbands money on all that treatment. Well I have been very patient and calm in the past but I guess the hormones just got to me as I blew up and stated that she didn't know about half of the treatment I have had and stated that what we had chosen not to tell her was that part of the problem had been DH bad swimmers in the last 12 months so we had needed treatment and then reminded her that it was our money and not his. I earn far more than my husband and it annoys me that she assumes that as he is the man he must keep me and I must be spending his money. Needless to say it shut her up.

Told DH and he has been amazingly supportive and told me that I don't have to have his Mum around immediately after the birth but she can wait a month until she flys out to see us.

Well done to you, and well done to your DH! Good Lord.


AFM, knicker watch update... BFN this morning (13dptrigger, which is basically the equivalent of 13dpo), and definite red blood in my hoo-hah which just hasn't shown up as spotting yet. The one upside to progesterone suppositories is it gives me an excuse to check my cervix daily and get a heads up when AF is on her way, which I am now about 97% sure she is. Given that my last BFP started this way, I am not counting myself out just yet - tomorrow's test will have the last word. Today I really feel fine about it, though, because a BFN means we get to go on our mini-vacation in three weeks (though I reserve the right to get upset about it any time I want to). Maybe we need to plan something really awesome to look forward to after every cycle to take the sting out of the BFN!

Oh, and I had a really upsetting dream last night! I dreamt the admins had locked our thread for some mysterious reason and I had no idea where to find all of you on BnB! I totally thought it was real - when I got out of bed this morning I shuffled downstairs thinking, damn, I have a lot of work to do to find all my friends again... I was really pleased when I logged on and found it was only a dream!

 

[onmymind17]

AFM, knicker watch update... BFN this morning (13dptrigger, which is basically the equivalent of 13dpo), and definite red blood in my hoo-hah which just hasn't shown up as spotting yet. The one upside to progesterone suppositories is it gives me an excuse to check my cervix daily and get a heads up when AF is on her way, which I am now about 97% sure she is. Given that my last BFP started this way, I am not counting myself out just yet - tomorrow's test will have the last word. Today I really feel fine about it, though, because a BFN means we get to go on our mini-vacation in three weeks (though I reserve the right to get upset about it any time I want to). Maybe we need to plan something really awesome to look forward to after every cycle to take the sting out of the BFN!

Oh, and I had a really upsetting dream last night! I dreamt the admins had locked our thread for some mysterious reason and I had no idea where to find all of you on BnB! I totally thought it was real - when I got out of bed this morning I shuffled downstairs thinking, damn, I have a lot of work to do to find all my friends again... I was really pleased when I logged on and found it was only a dream!

Big hugs on the bfn honey, but i have to say 13 days past trigger does not mean 13 dpo, just like a natural cycle it will take 24 to 48 hours after the trigger before you ovulate, so you are probably about 11 dpo right now, so you still have hope!!!

Awwwww what a nightmare, honey we would never leave you!!!! We will always find a way to be here to support each other, even if the admins lock our thread!!!!

 

[padbrat]

Hey Carole....I don't blame you for blowing as gasket at MIL! But don't stress hun... stay calm and peacefully glowing!!

HA... whatever happens on test day I think it is vital to have something to look forward to... whatever that may be. Plan something that you will love regardless of if you get a BFP or a BFN. Whatever happens we are all here to celebrate or commiserate.... You can lose us that quick... despite your nightmares... I say nightmares not dream cos it would be a nightmare for me to lose you all

BTW.. I don't think I stimm... I think I am suppressing as I don't want to produce eggs myself...

 

[padbrat]

I meant CAN'T lose us that quick!!!

 

[HappyAuntie]

Big hugs on the bfn honey, but i have to say 13 days past trigger does not mean 13 dpo, just like a natural cycle it will take 24 to 48 hours after the trigger before you ovulate, so you are probably about 11 dpo right now, so you still have hope!!!

Awwwww what a nightmare, honey we would never leave you!!!! We will always find a way to be here to support each other, even if the admins lock our thread!!!!

I know it's not 13 days past actual ovulation, but if I'd been using OPKs instead of a trigger shot, today would be counted as 13dpo - my RE explained when using OPKs, count the day of the first positive OPK as day 0 (even though you don't actually ovulate until 24-48 hours later), start the progesterone on 3dpo and test on 14dpo. So, since ovulation comes ~36 hrs after the trigger shot, I count trigger day as day 0. It all works out - they tell me to start the progesterone the day after the IUI, which is 3dptrigger if trigger day = day 0. And with every one of my IUIs, AF has arrived at 14dptrigger. (Even last time with the BFP - the only reason I tested when I did that month is because I started spotting at 12 or 13dptrigger - I was expecting a BFN and wanted to stop the progesterone.)

I appreciate the PMA. And right now I really am ok with a BFN. Honestly it's kind of what I needed this month... I didn't want to put off treatment but I am terrified of losing another baby, so this way I get comfort in the knowledge we tried and comfort in the knowledge I don't have to worry about a mc.

After talking about it last night, I think we are going to go ahead with another IUI right away but then take Nov and Dec off and just enjoy the holidays and our January vacation... I still have several days before I'd have to start stimming again, though, so we have a few more days to decide for sure on that.

 

[HappyAuntie]

BTW.. I don't think I stimm... I think I am suppressing as I don't want to produce eggs myself...

I TOTALLY FORGOT THAT PART!!!!



I can't believe I forgot about the DE piece of the puzzle!! I guess I just think about your LO as your LO, so I forgot you weren't having a standard IVF cycle!

 

[padbrat]

BTW.. I don't think I stimm... I think I am suppressing as I don't want to produce eggs myself...

I TOTALLY FORGOT THAT PART!!!!



I can't believe I forgot about the DE piece of the puzzle!! I guess I just think about your LO as your LO, so I forgot you weren't having a standard IVF cycle!

hehhehehe but you are sooo right... the LO (if I am lucky) will be mine regardless and I love that you think of it like you do!!

Just.... for you... cos you are great!!

 

[missyt]

Padbrat, I'm a dufus on all this too. I know its good to be educated as much as possible but maybe in our case ignorance is bliss. Lets hope so.

Carole, thanks so much for clearing that up for me and the support. As far as your MIL, good for you for going off on her. Sometimes family can be the worst. I had a similar conversation with my SIL who said to me that DH can't be the problem since he has a kid already. Well I got so po-ed at her that I said his swimmer weren't up to par so she better get the facts straight. I make more money than my DH too. My MIL doesn't get that either. Who cares what you spend your money on? People spend that much money on a car or a vacation or rack up credit card debt. Is it so bad to invest money knowing you'll have a family some day? As far as I'm concerned family and relationships are priceless so bad on her for throwing the money thing out there. Once again, she doesn't get it because she has kids and probably had no problem getting pregnant. She really should keep her opinions to herself unless she has walked a day in your shoes. So insensitive. I'm happy for you that DH is supportive. That is very important.

HA, big hugs, girl. I'm sending you positive vibes.

 

[Dwrgi]

AFM DH told his parents this weekend and his Mum really upset me, she didn't say congrats but went straight into a tirade how she knew I just needed to relax and it would happen and that I didn't need to waste my husbands money on all that treatment. Well I have been very patient and calm in the past but I guess the hormones just got to me as I blew up and stated that she didn't know about half of the treatment I have had and stated that what we had chosen not to tell her was that part of the problem had been DH bad swimmers in the last 12 months so we had needed treatment and then reminded her that it was our money and not his. I earn far more than my husband and it annoys me that she assumes that as he is the man he must keep me and I must be spending his money. Needless to say it shut her up.

Told DH and he has been amazingly supportive and told me that I don't have to have his Mum around immediately after the birth but she can wait a month until she flys out to see us.

Family and Friends they never cease to surprise us all.

Take care all and I am off to read all your posts and catch up

The absolute nerve of that woman. What is wrong with people? Don't they realise how very unkind and mean-spirited they are? All you needed was to relax???!! My ar%e. No amount of relaxing will improve your OH's sperm count..... or mine or anybody else's. God, these people are just soooo ignorant. And I am delighted that you set her right re. earning power and your money is for you to spend it how you want. I hope that did shut her up.

Apart from that, so glad to hear that all is good with you. And I also hope you had a nice dinner!!!

And, by the way, what on earth is going on with The Dump (Baby & Bump)????

Pad-love your attitude girl. You are sooooooo going to get your BFP-I just knows it love..

Love to you all!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Dwrgi]

AFM, knicker watch update... BFN this morning (13dptrigger, which is basically the equivalent of 13dpo), and definite red blood in my hoo-hah which just hasn't shown up as spotting yet. The one upside to progesterone suppositories is it gives me an excuse to check my cervix daily and get a heads up when AF is on her way, which I am now about 97% sure she is. Given that my last BFP started this way, I am not counting myself out just yet - tomorrow's test will have the last word. Today I really feel fine about it, though, because a BFN means we get to go on our mini-vacation in three weeks (though I reserve the right to get upset about it any time I want to). Maybe we need to plan something really awesome to look forward to after every cycle to take the sting out of the BFN!

Oh, and I had a really upsetting dream last night! I dreamt the admins had locked our thread for some mysterious reason and I had no idea where to find all of you on BnB! I totally thought it was real - when I got out of bed this morning I shuffled downstairs thinking, damn, I have a lot of work to do to find all my friends again... I was really pleased when I logged on and found it was only a dream!

Big hugs on the bfn honey, but i have to say 13 days past trigger does not mean 13 dpo, just like a natural cycle it will take 24 to 48 hours after the trigger before you ovulate, so you are probably about 11 dpo right now, so you still have hope!!!

Awwwww what a nightmare, honey we would never leave you!!!! We will always find a way to be here to support each other, even if the admins lock our thread!!!!

I completely agree with OMM on this HA-hang on in there, and we will be hanging on in there right with you!!!

Fingers crossed hun, thinking of you!