Holy cow, FM is right! I have a hard time keeping up with this thread! It's a nice problem to have - at least I know we're in good company.
I know I'm going to forget some of what I wanted to say, but oh well...
OMM, we each have to decide for ourselves what we are able and willing to do, and the two are not always the same. I know you've gone back and forth several times as to whether or not to proceed with IVF, and you need to quit thinking we will be disappointed in you if you don't do it! For starters, none of us are here to pass judgment on each other - we are here to support each other, to be shoulders, cheerleaders, sounding boards, research teams, friends.... More importantly, you could put 20 different couples in your situation and you would get 20 different answers as to what is the "right" thing to do. The only thing that matters is what is right for you and your DH. You're in a difficult position, and even if someone here might choose differently for herself if she were in your shoes, I think we're all mature enough to know there's a difference between what's right for her and what's right for YOU. There is no good or bad, no better or worse, just different. Good luck with your application for assistance. When do you expect to get a response?
Butterfly, I'm sorry you're in a rough spot, too.
I guess the good news is at least your OH was honest with you about it instead of stringing you along. Any news on the decision to move? 'Cause you might wanna consider staying in the middle east until the end of winter.
Welcome MommyToBe! I'm glad you found us on here.
Padbrat, how are you feeling on those steroids? Grouchy yet?
When do you start stimming? (Or are you already and I missed it?)
Twinkie, I'm sorry the witch got you.
Like NorthStar said, just don't feel badly about yourself for having a little hope - it's not like you were suckered in by a con man! You had legitimate reasons to get your hopes up a little this month, and it sucks that it didn't work out. Plus, from what I've read, statistically the HSG bumps up your chances for three months afterward, so FX'd it will still be of use!
Like NorthStar, I consider myself a realist. I totally get what Missy said about negative thoughts affecting my mood in general, and for that very reason I try to stick to the middle ground. The power of positive thinking is not going to prevent another chromosomal abnormality. And acknowledging that thought is not going to actually cause another mc. It is what it is. I know the odds, I know the stats... I know it's not impossible AND I know it's not easy. If I had spent the last 34 months allowing myself to only think positive thoughts about this month after month, I would have checked out long ago. I have to allow room for my down moods as well as my good moods. I'm not going to feel badly about myself for having days when I think this is never going to work.
I had a lot of hope for this cycle, with the way our numbers looked. Today, not so much anymore. I'm 12 dptrigger, and lo and behold my boobs don't hurt anymore... definitely on knicker watch for the first signs of spotting. I'm a little bit sad/disappointed, and a little bit relieved. DH and I have both had a ton of anxiety in this tww, and I really think we may have jumped back in too soon after the last mc. We are trying to decide now whether we should forge ahead next month or just take a break until Feb - that would relieve us of the stress of timing IUIs over the holidays and allow us to just enjoy our big family reunion/vacation in January, and then come back to ttc a little more refreshed. Idk. We definitely have a lot of talking and mulling things over to do before testing day (so that we're ready to start a new cycle at the end of the week if that's what we want to do). I may still be wrong about this cycle, we'll see. I just want to be prepared in case I'm not.
On the bright side, we had a great weekend - Oktoberfest on Saturday (omg I love soft pretzels! I could have eaten a hundred of them!), and we went to our favorite state park yesterday to do some hiking. It was crowded because the leaves are gorgeous right now and we had spectacular weather (unseasonably warm), but we chose some of the more remote/more rigorous trails and that kept us away from the crowds for the most part. (OMM, you're a camper, right? I seem to recall stories about you and your DH and a tent....
We were at Turkey Run State Park, which is probably only about 3 hrs south of Chicago - it's really close to the IL-IN state line. You might want to check it out - it's my favorite spot in the whole state. Just gorgeous.)
Have a great day, ladies.
xoxo