TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[NorthStar]

Missy I'm so sorry that this first cycle wasn't successful

 

[Dwrgi]

Missy, I am really really sorry, it's just bollox, isn't it? But, they say that,, statistically, the first round is unlikely to work, and to treat it as a test case, so that they can see what worked well for you, and what didn't. I am so glad that you are ready to persevere, as IVF works best as a programme of cycles, rather than as one offs. You have been an absolute inspiration, and did everything right, so there was nothing else that you could do. You just need to take some time for yourself now to get your head around it and strengthen the reserves for cycle no. 2! Big to you hun, it just sucks, but onwards and upwards and bring it on!

Lots of love to you,
Axxxxx

 

[missyt]

Missy, I am really really sorry, it's just bollox, isn't it? But, they say that,, statistically, the first round is unlikely to work, and to treat it as a test case, so that they can see what worked well for you, and what didn't. I am so glad that you are ready to persevere, as IVF works best as a programme of cycles, rather than as one offs. You have been an absolute inspiration, and did everything right, so there was nothing else that you could do. You just need to take some time for yourself now to get your head around it and strengthen the reserves for cycle no. 2! Big to you hun, it just sucks, but onwards and upwards and bring it on!

Lots of love to you,
Axxxxx

Thank you, dwrgi. The other ladies and especially you, have been very supportive and I'm very thankful to have all of you to count on through this. I know I was successful in being stress free through this cycle and producing some high quality eggs that were lucky enough to get fertilized. But it just feels like a loss because I had a pic of my 2 embies that they gave me and I had it beside my bed. I talked to them and prayed for them every day. I know it sounds silly. But at least I knew that I was one step closer to being pregnant by seeing those embies. You are right though. I have heard that the first cycle is not likely to work and they use it as a judge of what dose of meds to use next time. I just need to make a decision if I'm going to go at it immediately and mess up any holiday plans or take a break. Darn that stupid AMH number that freaked me out. Just makes me feel like my clock is ticking even faster. I still don't have complete faith in that test but my RE does.

 

[Butterfly67]

Missy it was not silly at all to be talking to your embies and to have their pics

The AMH must be a load of cr*p because you had such a great response with a good number of eggs and embies.

 

[onmymind17]

Missy, I am really really sorry, it's just bollox, isn't it? But, they say that,, statistically, the first round is unlikely to work, and to treat it as a test case, so that they can see what worked well for you, and what didn't. I am so glad that you are ready to persevere, as IVF works best as a programme of cycles, rather than as one offs. You have been an absolute inspiration, and did everything right, so there was nothing else that you could do. You just need to take some time for yourself now to get your head around it and strengthen the reserves for cycle no. 2! Big to you hun, it just sucks, but onwards and upwards and bring it on!

Lots of love to you,
Axxxxx

Thank you, dwrgi. The other ladies and especially you, have been very supportive and I'm very thankful to have all of you to count on through this. I know I was successful in being stress free through this cycle and producing some high quality eggs that were lucky enough to get fertilized. But it just feels like a loss because I had a pic of my 2 embies that they gave me and I had it beside my bed. I talked to them and prayed for them every day. I know it sounds silly. But at least I knew that I was one step closer to being pregnant by seeing those embies. You are right though. I have heard that the first cycle is not likely to work and they use it as a judge of what dose of meds to use next time. I just need to make a decision if I'm going to go at it immediately and mess up any holiday plans or take a break. Darn that stupid AMH number that freaked me out. Just makes me feel like my clock is ticking even faster. I still don't have complete faith in that test but my RE does.

Missy, and no it was not silly to talk to them, and as for the AMH number screw it, my AMH is really low, but all my other numbers are normal, my RE said that it was all the numbers together that mattered not just one. I also know two ladies that went through IVF and both of them the first one failed but the second one was sucessful. I love your attitude, and i know the next one will work!!

 

[purplelou]

Dear Missy, I am so so so sorry, I really had a good feeling for you and I can't imagine how hard this is. You deserve for this to work. You have such a wonderful attitude though. Im sending a ton of your way.

 

[Dwrgi]

Thank you, dwrgi. The other ladies and especially you, have been very supportive and I'm very thankful to have all of you to count on through this. I know I was successful in being stress free through this cycle and producing some high quality eggs that were lucky enough to get fertilized. But it just feels like a loss because I had a pic of my 2 embies that they gave me and I had it beside my bed. I talked to them and prayed for them every day. I know it sounds silly. But at least I knew that I was one step closer to being pregnant by seeing those embies. You are right though. I have heard that the first cycle is not likely to work and they use it as a judge of what dose of meds to use next time. I just need to make a decision if I'm going to go at it immediately and mess up any holiday plans or take a break. Darn that stupid AMH number that freaked me out. Just makes me feel like my clock is ticking even faster. I still don't have complete faith in that test but my RE does.

Oh Missy, it really is the pits. I think it was a really good idea to talk to the embies, and I know it's also really important to visualise amazing things going on in your womb. There is a fertility guru in the UK, called Zita West, and she is all about the holistic experience-mind and body together. She advocates stroking the tum, imagining your baby in there, imagining the sperm meeting the egg, imagining the embryo, etc. etc. To talk to the embies is just an extension of this. The worst thing is that with IVF you actually feel as if you are a step closer, and when the IVF cycle comes to an end, for whatever reason, you feel bereft, as you have to grieve the lost hope, and for you, the lost embryos. In my experience, I just wanted to get back on the IVF wagon as soon as was possible, as you have to psych yourself up for it and you feel closer to being pregnant. I didn't want to not feel pregnant again (not that I ever got close) but in my mind, there was a tiny bit that thought, 'this could be it.'

I think there is a school of thought that believes you should wait six weeks anyhow, although how they work that out with a cycle being 4 weeks I have no idea. Perhaps good idea to sit this one out, and perhaps December too and restart in January?? That way you don't have to worry about the holidays and not having a drink, and worrying about taking your meds, etc. ,

Anyway, I am sooo sorry and sending huge hugs across the pond! But, onwards and upwards, and next one, my dear, will be bingo stingo!!!

Take it easy and be kind to yourself,
Lots of love,
Amanda
xxxx

 

[HappyAuntie]

Big, big hugs to you, Missy. We're all sad with you.

 

[missyt]

Thank you everyone for all your positive support. I just had a me day! I got my hair done, bought a big tub of favorite sugar cookies and took a super long nap. I know it will happen and like many of you said, I have seen it happen to many women on the second try. I can think of two off the top of my head. Babydust to all of us!

 

[Dwrgi]

Missy-so glad you went for a completely indulgent me day! You deserve it! Lots of hugs!

HA, Purple, OMM, Keekee, Butterfly, Pad, FM (where are you?), North Star, Twinkle, Lava, Carole, Dodger, Skye, Macwooly, hello everybody! Hope you're having a great weekend.

I had my follow-up food allergy appointment yesterday (she detected, six weeks ago that I had candida in my gut and around my ovaries: 11/30 in my gut and 22/30 around my ovaries; ideally you want 0). After taking live bacteria and cranberry extract, shifting to lactose free milk (she discovered I had issues to this) and cutting down on (some!!!) sugar, there is now NO trace of candida in my gut but still 8/30 around the ovaries. So, I was delighted about that. Even if it doesn't affect my ability to conceive, I just want to be the healthiest that I can be. Strangely, I've even said no to chocolate over the past few weeks, because I just didn't fancy it. How bizarre... And, I have lost a few pounds. Wehey!!! I still have something going on with my urinary tract as I had to go to the loo three times when I was there yesterday (in the space of an hour; and, no, I'm pretty certain I'm not PG); I have the worst bladder in the world, and with trying to drink 2 litres of water a day, I may as well just sit on the toilet all day happydance. She told me to ask my acupuncturist to focus on my adrenals, and I'm also going to ask her to focus on some inflammation in my body (I have got arthritis in my big toe and little finger), as this can suggest higher than normal NK cells (Please, I shall be opening my holistic fertility clinic soon, you can all be patrons!!! Honestly, I never thought I'd need to know so much about my body, but all of us here have all become advanced biology experts!!!!), which can reject foreign bodies- like, da da, embryos!! Like I said before, I don't buy 'unexplained infertility'!

Anyway, Advanced Biology lecture over, hope you're all okay, and having a marvellous weekend!

 

[Butterfly67]

Wow A that sounds really good that they can tell all this stuff and you can change you diet to Improve things. Fingers crossed this sorts you for your next ivf

 

[dodgercpkl]

Dwrgi - That's awesome that you are getting rid of the Candida! I'm with you about wanting to be as healthy as I can be. I've found out soooo much about my body so far on this journey that it's truly amazing. I love your attitude about it too!

 

[padbrat]

Coming out of nowhere to say I am soooo sorry Missy.... I so hoping it would work for you. xx

 

[dodgercpkl]

I'm cross posting this in a lot of areas, but I'm pretty excited for the possibilities!

Ok now I'm really symptom spotting! I just went to the bathroom and when I glanced at my wipe, there was a tiny bit of bright red spotting! With that dip and raise in temp, I'm having a hard time NOT thinking that it could be implantation! Oooooohhhh I hope so! The timing would be right from what I can read. Please please please please let this be implantation!

 

[purplelou]

Dwrgi - that sounds very positive, and it must make you feel so good to be preparing your body so well (and feeling so well in the process)

Dodger - Ohhh I really hope so!! Im keeping fingers crossed that this is implantation bleeding

How is everyone doing? I hope you are all having a good weekend.

I am 3dpo and feeling a little hopeful (which probably means I am setting myself up for a fall ) I really want to be able to make my parents grandparents! we both have next week off work and have booked the dogs into kennels and are going to visit my parents. my dad has his scan on friday and we are now waiting for results, I am hoping that he gets an appointment whilst we are there, so we can take them and support them.

 

[Dwrgi]

Dwrgi - that sounds very positive, and it must make you feel so good to be preparing your body so well (and feeling so well in the process)

Dodger - Ohhh I really hope so!! Im keeping fingers crossed that this is implantation bleeding

How is everyone doing? I hope you are all having a good weekend.

I am 3dpo and feeling a little hopeful (which probably means I a setting myself up for a fall ) I really want to be able to make my parents grandparents! we both have next week off work and have booked the dogs into kennels and are going to visit my parents. my dad has his scan on friday and we are now waiting for results, I am hoping that he gets an appointment whilst we are there, so we can take them and support them.

I love the new pic, Purple! Where were you when it was taken??

I hope you have a lovely time at your parents this week-it will do you and them the world of good just to be near to each other. Fingers crossed that the scan brings optimism for future treatments.

Also, fingers crossed for a BFP!!

Take care hun,
Axxxx

 

[NorthStar]

Purplelou hope all goes well with your dad's scan next week, they will be so glad to have you there for support. Part of the reason I moved back to the UK was my dad took very ill on New years almost 3 years ago and I had that call that no expat ever wants to receive. There is no subsitute for being able to see people, I'm glad that your parents are still moving closer to you.

 

[purplelou]

Thank you ladies xxx I will be keeping in touch with you all whilst I am there
and the pic was taken on a holiday to spain last year. It makes me feel a little warmer to look at it and remember the sunshine x

 

[missyt]

dwrgi, what prompted you to get tested for candida? It seems so common now. I hear about it all the time. That is great news that you are getting it under control. BTW, I went out and got some Royal Jelly today. How much do you take per day?

Pad, thanks for popping in. It really means a lot.

Purple, I love your new pic! Fx'd for your dad. I hope all goes well.

 

[dodgercpkl]

Thank you Purple!!! I'm so hoping it is. I'm 9 dpo today which would be fairly spot on timing wise, so I'll test at the end of the week. Or maybe on Thanksgiving... I'm kind of curious about the candida as well. And I'm really glad your parents are still planning to move closer to you!