TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[dodgercpkl]

Thank you so much! It's all seemed a little surreal ya know? Trying all of this time with no AF and feeling so broken and then to have everything just come together at the same time - it still feels like a dream! I finally got my positive digi today and that just put me head over heels onto cloud 9! lol silly isn't it?

 

[Neversaynever]

OK, ladies, cat is out of the bag. To you ladies anyway. I didn't want to say it after all that has happened because it brings so many feelings up but looks like make-up one month before we were supposed to start IVF with PGD.....equals a Trying to remain calm. It's really, really early and who knows? But maybe the universe knows better than me. Just maybe. Ticker says it all.

Not telling anyone really. But had to tell my girls here on BnB. After all, you've been with me from the start. Send some into the universe for me if you get a chance.

Titi I know you must be so scared...take each day as it c0mes nd I hope beyond hope that thie is your rainbow Thank you for checking on me

Missy...thank you too for stopping by...

Thanks you to everyone who has been asking after me...I'm not in a great place and have been reducing my time on here and posting less. I do try and keep up and I do think about you all but I have to be selfish and tkae care of me too.

to you all

XxX

 

[twinkle1975]

Titi - woohoo - congratulations!!!

Dodger - have congratulated you already but still - woohoo!!

Butterfly and Never - big hugs xxx

 

[missyt]

Titi, Congrats! I know you've been through a lot. You deserve it!

AFM, I think I'll be going into lurk mode too. I just need to get my head straight and take care of myself.

 

[lavalux]

I'm on my phone so excuse the lack of jumping emoticons, but major Congrats to both Titi & Dodge! I wish you both happy & smooth pregnancies and healthy babies!

Carole,
So good to hear from you and glad all is going well.

DHime,
Welcome back! Of course we remember you.

Missyt & Butterfly,
Lurk away if you need to but a supportive community is so important so don't go too far. We love you!
Have you thought about a journal? It can be a safe haven to write your feelings & get support. I know Never, FM, and others have one.

Dwrgi,
I'm jealous you got to see Husky racing! I would have loved that!

Hi Skye!!!

 

[purplelou]

lurk away ladies, but remember we are here whenever you want us and as I was told several times by all of you....there is no such thing as a selfish post! we all need them and it's good for the soul, so rant vent or whatever you need to do - it's good for you huge to everyone who needs them xxx

 

[MommyToBeIsMe]

Congrats Titi! It's always nice to hear an uplifting story.

I understand what the other ladies are saying about backing off posting. I've let this consume too much of my time. I've been so sick and had to go to the doc yesterday. I just thought I had a bad cold that may have gone into my lucgs but then my bp was soo low they ran an ECG, which was fine. The thing is, they took all this blood to run all these tests to find out why I'm so hypotensive and the only thing I could focus on was the pg test they'll run to rule it out.

I'm in med school and need to find a much healthier balance between my studies and being on B&B. I don't think it has to be all or nothing but maybe just post in the morning (I love hearing how everyone is doing) and then get on with my day.

Finding a balance now is especially important when we move forward with IUI in Jan. If I'm too focused on this now....But I know I need you guys to talk me off the roof from time to time.

Not sure who suggested it, but I agree with keeping a journal. It's good to let whatever you're going through out.

 

[onmymind17]

OK, ladies, cat is out of the bag. To you ladies anyway. I didn't want to say it after all that has happened because it brings so many feelings up but looks like make-up one month before we were supposed to start IVF with PGD.....equals a Trying to remain calm. It's really, really early and who knows? But maybe the universe knows better than me. Just maybe. Ticker says it all.

Not telling anyone really. But had to tell my girls here on BnB. After all, you've been with me from the start. Send some into the universe for me if you get a chance.

Oh yeah, this is the best news!!!! I am sending you all kinds of sticky dust!!

Also Dodger congrats, you probably have not seen me post on here, i just kind of lurk now, since we have given up on TTC, but i wanted to send you and Titi tons of sticky dust!!

Oh and i did not even know the people from Duran Duran were still alive lol

 

[onmymind17]

Dodger I think i also missed your news so massive congrats and titi brilliant news and same to you

I'm going to head into lurk mode now as once again I may be done. Big hugs and to everyone, I'll be rooting for you.

 

[onmymind17]

OK, ladies, cat is out of the bag. To you ladies anyway. I didn't want to say it after all that has happened because it brings so many feelings up but looks like make-up one month before we were supposed to start IVF with PGD.....equals a Trying to remain calm. It's really, really early and who knows? But maybe the universe knows better than me. Just maybe. Ticker says it all.

Not telling anyone really. But had to tell my girls here on BnB. After all, you've been with me from the start. Send some into the universe for me if you get a chance.

Titi I know you must be so scared...take each day as it c0mes nd I hope beyond hope that thie is your rainbow Thank you for checking on me

Missy...thank you too for stopping by...

Thanks you to everyone who has been asking after me...I'm not in a great place and have been reducing my time on here and posting less. I do try and keep up and I do think about you all but I have to be selfish and tkae care of me too.

to you all

XxX

Honey your not being selfish, you come first, just know that we all love you, if you need to talk you can pm me, i dont post much, but i do lurk.

 

[purplelou]

Oh and i did not even know the people from Duran Duran were still alive lol

OMM - you really made me laugh with that!

 

[Tititimes2]

On my phone, but wanted to a huge thank you to all of you! You so make my heart smile and I feel doubly blessed to have you all in my life and for your amazing support through the good and the bad. There is truly strength in numbers and it is so wonderful to have that in this journey.

Much love to you all ladies!

 

[Tititimes2]

And Dwrgi- I was cracking up in my office! I loved the "wait there"!!! I waited and almost jumped up and down with you hon in my office!!!

 

[Nikki Leigh]

Congrats to Titi!!! So happy for you!!!!!!!!

Hugs to Never, Butterfly, Mommy, Dwrgi...I know how you feel. You all know that I disappear for a month or so, or only post between ovulation and AF. That's for my own self-preservation. I do follow along most of the time via email though. I'll probably be lurking myself as of tomorrow.

 

[Dwrgi]

Girls

I am troubled, and I feel that I am going to throw a grenade in here and cause huge ructions, but I REALLY do not intend to upset or offend anybody, so bear with me.

There are girls amongst us, myself included, who have been trying to get pregnant since forever. It feels like forever, and I am sure you will agree that it does not get any easier as each month comes and goes and still the dratted AFcomes to visit. Yada yada.

I know that I am happy for each and every BFP but I also feel a twinge of sadness because it doesn't happen to me, and it upsets me that I'm not the one who is pregnant. Why is it never me???? Self-pity over, I suppose that what I'm saying is that, please, if you are lucky enough to get your BFP then I hope that you can be sensitive to that fact and try and spare the feelings of those of us who genuinely feel that it may never happen or that their TTC is journey is coming to an end. The prospect of not being a mother when your maternal instincts are so strong is simply appalling.

I would hate for Baby & Bump to be a website which actively beats people up with a stick for certain transgressions (like other threads), but I also hope that we can be mindful of the upset that we can cause each other, however unwittingly.

I'm really sorry if this has upset anybody-I'm just trying to protect myself and others, and know that going into lurk mode simply to avoid references to pregnancies on a thread which is for those trying to conceive, isn't right, surely?

Huge love to you all, and I hope that you all understand that what I'm trying to say isn't meant to upset anybody.

 

[Butterfly67]

A, I hear where you are coming from and feel your pain. As one who feels like they have not been ttc so long (8 months really is nothing compared to some), I also feel like I have the added pressure of my age and the fact I may not have a partner to help for much longer, so I think I am in the same boat in that it will probably never happen. I think that this thread is different to many others in that there are people who have been here from the start and have to watch as people come and go with their BFPs which can be really difficult.

It is almost as if there should be a precursor that people should have been trying for a while before they can come to this thread as, like you say, although it is nice to see people get their BFPs, when they hop on, get a BFP and hop off, it just breaks you a little bit each time But then I guess that would move this thread into the LTTTC - it is all so difficult and there is no right or wrong answer I guess.

Anyway, just wanted to send you big hugs my friend

 

[twinkle1975]

Hey D & B I do know what you mean & I really wish people wouldn't 'just pop in to give us some hope'!!
Ladies on here have said it's easier when people on here get their BFP than someone in real life but I know that's not always the case.

I do know though that sometimes people have been trying for a long time but have only managed to find us quite a way into their TTC journey, so they might have been trying for 18 months but are lucky enough to get their BFP only a short time after they've joined BnB so it does seem like they've had an easy time of it.

Sometimes people try to be sensitive to us but then we're so desperate not to make them feel bad about their BFP that we spend 5 pages congratulating them!!

I totally understand where you're coming from I just feel we're sometimes our own worst enemies!

 

[purplelou]

Dwrgi - you could not upset anyone if you tried to!

and ladies I agree, I stopped browsing through the rest of the 35+ forum because there were a lot of threads about "Just popping in to give you some hope"

I love to hear about the BFPs...OF LADIES I KNOW (by know, you understand I mean ladies who have shared this journey on here - if that even makes sense)

this is such an emotional and just plain hard subject, if you can't express these feelings on a thread like this one, where can you??

how is everyone doing today?? I hope you are all well?

me and DH had a chat last night and have decided that if we don't get pregnant by ourselves, we won't be trying any IVF/fertility treatment etc etc. DH really doesn't want to go down that route (and I have to respect that) and anyway given my age not to mention the fact that I am overweight, I would not be considered for NHS treatment anyway in my area and we do not have the funds to pay for private treatment, so that's that really, actually at the moment making that decision does make me feel like a little weight has been lifted off, because I don't have to think about that anymore. so we just have to BD at the right times and keep our fingers crossed

 

[missyt]

Amanda, Butterfly, Nikki & Twinkle, I agree with all of you. I guess I just really had a tough time lately with the failed IVF and on top of that, the jerk doctor that looking back on the 15 months I've been going to him has lied to me and given me much inconsistent information. I guess I'm sort of at a crossroads right now on what to do. As of right now, I don't want to pursue any treatment. Like DH says, I need to get my head straight first. Its really hard seeing ladies we don't know who haven't had any treatment or gotten to really know us get their BFP and go. I do question constantly what is wrong with me and why not me. I know there are ladies that were on here for a while that got their BFPs where I literally had tears of joy because I knew they had been struggling for a long time and that gives me hope. These last few weeks just hit me hard and especially seeing that Dec was my one year anniversary on BnB and finding this thread.

Purple, I think its a good idea you made a choice. IVF isn't for everyone. I, in a way, regret that I went through the cycle. My doctor tried to convince me it was the thing to do that will get me my baby. He gave me a 41% chance, based on my numbers and it still failed. Then he tried to retract and recommened I do donor egg which he said would give me a 50% chance. I guess now I have trust issues with doctors and I need to just go with what I feel in my gut. My gut and DH's gut told us at the first meeting with this doc that something wasn't right. IVF is very hard physicall and emotionally. If you and DH feel you are doing the right thing, then you are. Don't second guess youself.

 

[Dwrgi]

Thank you everybody for being so understanding! I did think hard about whether to post or not, but better out than in!!

Purple-I'm glad that you and your OH have had a chance to talk about this, and have come to some decisions. It is very hard to get your head around something as huge as this, but at least you both know how you feel. Fingers crossed that it will happen naturally for you!

Thanks Butterfly and Twinkle too-you are all brilliant!!

Hugs to each and everyone on here!