Dear everybody, I knew I would be throwing a grenade but like I said I didn't wish to offend anybody by what I wrote. I know that a number of members had expressed over the last months their upset over certain posts and it didn't seem right to me that people who genuinely need this thread for advice and support should go into lurk mode to avoid being confronted by what they avoid in real life.
My main grievance was that, in the time that I have been on here, there have been a few occasions when new members have posted, with obvious symptoms of pregnancy and then, days later, announce that they ARE indeed pregnant and then move on to graduates, and we never hear of them again. It's almost as if this is considered a thread to post on for support in finding out they are actually pregnant and then go-we help them with lots of love and support to tackle the days before testing and then they disappear. What comes across is a lack of regard for those of us who have been on here for a long time, and are still desperately waiting for our BFPs. It is soooo hard, and insensitive (although I do appreciate that these members don't MEAN to be this). I know they need help too, but perhaps don't realise the upset they cause.
I know that every single person on here is happy for everybody's BFP, but I just wish that if posters genuinely suspect that they are pregnant (have got possible symptoms, etc. etc.), then, please, could they go straight to graduates, who will obviously be able to support them better-they are, after all, pregnant, and will have had these symptoms and experiences themselves. Some of us on here have never had a BFP, and have never experienced any symptom. How can we know, apart from our, by now, extensive text book knowledge, what the symptoms are actually like? Surely this can't compare with those who have actually experienced them personally?
So, all I am saying is that there does need to be a regard for others and an awareness of how others may be left feeling after posts such as these.
I don't mind at all our pregnant friends posting and checking in on us-I love hearing Skye, Lava, Carole's stories, to name but three. I know that these three lovely people have been nothing other than sensitive to the rest of us on here, and have offered their time, their love and their fantastic support without question. I would hate for you girls to feel your posts aren't welcome. I am sure that Titi will keep up with us too. These are all reciprocal friendships, I hope that I can say.
MTBiM-your post was very emotional, and I would hate you to feel that you are alone. I don't think that anything you wrote upset me or anybody else, or caused me to write what I did. We are here for you and wish to help you through this stressful journey. I'm glad that Madeline wrote to you, but I would hate you to leave this lovely thread, as I feel you will get a lot out of being on here. I am sorry if what I wrote made you feel alone.
As to the question of whether any of us are on the LTTC thread; I really think that is missing the point. I am over 35 and I am trying to conceive my first child, so I am happy here-I have made close friends on here and everybody on here knows things about me that even my best friend and parents don't know. Why should I, or anybody else, go elsewhere when we have made such strong friendships?
And, as they say, in for a penny in for a pound. An appeal-if you lurk and may be able to support people, please DO contribute-what you may have to say may be useful to somebody and help them. You are more than welcome.
I think I have rushed this post as I have got a class and I have to concentrate on them too-it's difficult to do that and write this at the same time, so I may come across as more strident than I mean to be. I don't intend to hurt anybody's feelings. By the same token, I don't wish to see my good friends on here hurt, or for my feelings to be hurt either.
Lots of love to you all,
And lots of
too!
My dad got transferred there for his job when I was little, and I came back to the States when I was 18. Dad got transferred back over here shortly thereafter. We lived right on the Schelde river in Zeeland, in the southwestern bit of NL, about 20 min from the Belgian border. In fact, my sisters and I went to school in Antwerp because it was the nearest English-language school. I loved it there and would move back in a heartbeat - I keep hoping that one day DH will get transferred there for his job! 
Having spent my formative years there, my world-view on many topics tends to be more European than American.... My Dutch is still pretty good after all these years because I have a couple of Dutch friends over here who are patient enough to let me torture them/use it with them. 
we crossed posts as it took me a bit to write mine as I kept changing it 
