TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[skye2010]

Girls I don't wanna go on and on about this subject either but I wanna say a word too.

I'm glad everyone speaks their mind about sensitive subjects here. 35+ 1st TTc active members all give a lot of time and love to this thread and we all have a emotional attachment to it unlike most other threads. It isn't healthy for anybody to be boiling over an opinion and keeping it inside. I find it healthy to touch sensitive subjects as well as daily trivia of our lives.

Ladies who have been actively trying a long time please please please don't lose faith in yourself and don't let the despair shadow your hope.

I truly believe that one of these days I'm going to pop out a decent egg with 23 chromosomes - no more, no less!

I really like what HA said here. Even though you have all the fear and upset and low points I'm very glad dear friend that your faith in yourself keeps you going.

For those ladies who are in a grey area, who decided to let go but still have your hearts here, or change path: Loads of love and peace. I hope you either can reach your dreams very soon or the pain goes away and your heart can find peace somehow.

MTBM as everyone said stay a little bit more, give it a chance. This is a very supportive and loving thread as everyone assured you. You just happened to catch it just when this subject came up but if you would do some back reading you would be convinced that this really isn't sinister in any way.

Mababay and Madlein you are welcome so is all the newcomers. To be honest The Graduates thread's location (discussions) keeps it away from the new comers a little so there isn't many who join in often. As a result it isn't as active and varied as this thread is most of the time. As Amanda said for those of us who take this thread as dear as the rest and keep genuine interest in the ladies here even though we have gone to Graduates, the thread is welcome. But I did and do get annoyed with people who come in, use the thread as a step stone, consume every bodies attention and love than disappear without giving anything back. Because each member here share their personal lives, secrets that we do not really share sometimes with our dearest and nearest. it's understandable when someone pokes in and out of the corner for a quick "Yehooo" that we feel a little exposed and used.
That's that.....

Lois I'm sorry for that heavy piece of info sweetie. At least it's good news that the move is soon and you can be more in control of what's going on with them soon. Sweetie you are a very brave and strong girl, all I can do right now is share your upset and send you my cyber support. Brace yourself and be ready cause you will be needing a lot of your inner strength (which I totally beleive in you)

Missy some RE's need to be chased away with a stick. Unfortunately all this disappointment ends up being a bit of a learning curb for you. It just takes time and loads of energyand upset to figure out what to do next with TTC. But really all drs aren't the same and hope you find a good one soon.

Nikki Chocolates and mince pies and cup cakes and humbugs and after eights and whatever you find sweet for you

Northstar what's happening in Xmass? Does your lucky day hit any of the holidays while Dh's here by any chance?

Twinks how you doing hon? Your time of twinkly lights are here )) Hope Santa has what you wish for in his bag this year.

The rest of the ladies I can't remember what to say to you all right now cause there was our big topic taking over our daily stuff.

 

[Madeline]

Hi Madeline - I am a newer person to the thread too. the ladies here have been wonderful with with advice and support for me although we have only been trying for less than one year, but I am 39 (40 in a few short months) and feel like time is ticking away from me. I didn't meet my DH till later in life also, although Im so glad I DID meet him I just hope we didn't leave it to late to try. now Ive babbled a bit there but the point of my post was to say that this isn't a thread for ladies who are LTTTC only, but all of us who are over 35 and ttc our first child. [/QUOTE]

Hi Purplelou

I am so glad you met your soul mate and while I know that it can be challenging to TTC I really hope you succeed I am crossing my fingers for you both right now

I am 42 and TTC the first. I have similar concerns....my way of coping has been to focus on losing weight and being the fittest and healthiest I can be to give myself the best chance I can And since I have been taught some boxing I am finding that taking my frustrations out on the trainer at the gym is really therapeutic lol

Madeline xx

 

[twinkle1975]

I'm totally hormonal & over emotional this morning but I do love you all and it's really upset me that anyone in our little group has been upset.
There's enough love in here to envelope us all - whether you've been here since the start or just found it yesterday.

Please stick with us - I'd miss each one of you if you left!! https://www.runemasterstudios.com/graemlins/images/bananalove.gif

 

[caroleb73]

Carol, thanks for letting me know you had awful doctors too. You are an inspiration that I can do this myself. Especially in the state I'm in now. I don't even want to go near a doctor.

Hey Missy I completely understand how you feel right now, after my last IVF here in Bahrain in June which didn't even get to transfer stage my DH was begging me to go back to London with the Dr I love and try another 2 IVF attempts. I however had totally had enough of Dr's and because the one here had made me so ill as they over stimmed me so much I was rushed to hospital for a week and off work for another 2 I personally felt like I couldn't risk being that ill again. I am sure if I had had time to recover and forget about the pain and scariness of the situation I would have gone back to Dr Shawaf in London as I do totally trust him.

Reason for this waffle is that never give up hope honey there are good Dr's out there they just take some finding and one Dr that has a great rep and is fab for some might not be the right fit for you. It is a mixture of capability and the right personality for you both, you have to feel comfortable with them and trust them. Like I say in London there are so many clinics that you can choose from and many have very good success rates but my choice was made on A) being in the high end of success rates but B) I had such a good feeling about my Dr. So many Dr's promise you that they will get you pregnant which I hate coz that is something noone can 100% deliver on but he did not instead he gave me information and choices and did not push as he wanted me to be in control of my journey and be aware of the choices and risks of those choices. He was always honest with me and when I was supposed to start my first cycle he cancelled it as said that some of my hormones were not where he would like them to be, he always stated that he wanted everything to be at the best possible point before I started to give me the best chance of success. Now he could of just gone ahead knowing my chances were low and take more money from me for another cycle. This is the kind of Dr you want, one that really takes care of you both physically and economically. You need to be a team of Dr, you and DH. I know that you will find this great combination.

On another point never give up thinking that it could happen naturally for you as I was also told that my AMH was very low and that it may be a struggle and to be honest that did weigh heavily on my mind. I really did feel like it was all over this summer and then bam I got a natural BFP and this was when we had also been told that DH needed agressive help with his swimmers as he had a really low count and mobility was a HUGE issue. Just goes to show that miracles do happen and we should never give up hope.

I hope and pray that all the ladies on here get their BFP's real soon as I know you will all be amazing mummies who will never take their babies for granted like so many I see.

Take care all and have a great weekend

 

[missyt]

But I did and do get annoyed with people who come in, use the thread as a step stone, consume every bodies attention and love than disappear without giving anything back. Because each member here share their personal lives, secrets that we do not really share sometimes with our dearest and nearest. it's understandable when someone pokes in and out of the corner for a quick "Yehooo" that we feel a little exposed and used.
QUOTE]

Skye, you hit the nail on the head. This is exactly what I was feeling. When I give, it makes me feel good. Not like I'm expecting anything back but like a lot of things in life, its a 2-way street. If I give encouragement, its nice to get some back. Its like a bonus. This is enough of a rollercoaster ride as it is.

HA, I can never get this quote thing right. Can you help me?

 

[HappyAuntie]

HA - I am so curious - what sort of accent do you have?? is it an American accent or dutch, or maybe a mixture?? How interesting that you grew up relatively close by!!

My accent is sort of a non-descript jumble of influences. Before moving to NL I lived in Texas, so I started with a bit of a southern twang (though not too much - nowhere close to what you hear in Steel Magnolias, if you've ever seen that movie). Living in NL we watched a lot of BBC so there are still some typically British phrases that I tend to use (ie "have you got..." instead of the more American "do you have...", etc). I went to an International School in Antwerp where the student body was about 1/4 American, 1/4 Indian, 1/4 Belgian or Dutch, and 1/4 other, so I picked up a really strange mix of things - I can do a killer Gujarati accent! Then after NL I moved to Indiana for college, and the midwest US (Indiana, Ohio, Illinois, Kansas, Missouri - that general region) accent is fairly neutral. After 4 years in college I moved back to Texas (because by then my family was back there) but I never really picked up the southern twang again because by then my mixed-up accent and speech patterns were pretty set. When I moved back to Indiana two years ago and told people I was from Texas, no one believed me - everyone noted with surprise, "But, you don't have an accent!" It was pretty funny.

I have a hard time determining what place feels like "home" to me now, after living in so many vastly different places. I like to think I've picked up the best of each place and taken it with me.

And since I have been taught some boxing I am finding that taking my frustrations out on the trainer at the gym is really therapeutic lol

Madeline xx

LOL!! I took up yoga as a part of ttc to help me with my anxiety, but boxing sounds a LOT more cathartic!! I should look into that, maybe do a little bit of each... anyone ever heard of yoga boxing? Maybe combine downward dog with a roundhouse kick?!

 

[HappyAuntie]

But I did and do get annoyed with people who come in, use the thread as a step stone, consume every bodies attention and love than disappear without giving anything back. Because each member here share their personal lives, secrets that we do not really share sometimes with our dearest and nearest. it's understandable when someone pokes in and out of the corner for a quick "Yehooo" that we feel a little exposed and used.
QUOTE]

Skye, you hit the nail on the head. This is exactly what I was feeling. When I give, it makes me feel good. Not like I'm expecting anything back but like a lot of things in life, its a 2-way street. If I give encouragement, its nice to get some back. Its like a bonus. This is enough of a rollercoaster ride as it is.

HA, I can never get this quote thing right. Can you help me?

Sure. When deleting portions of a quote so that you only quote the portion you want to respond to or comment on, you just have to be sure the quote commands stay intact. The command at the beginning of the quote has to look like this: (open bracket)QUOTE= sername;some string of numbers that I don't know what they are(end bracket), and the command at the end of the quote has to look like this: (open bracket)/ QUOTE(end bracket). In your last post, the bracket and the backslash were missing from the inside of the command at the end of the quoted portion, that's all.

It gets a little more complicated if you're replying with a quote to a message that already contains one quote, like my reply here (how's that for a convenient example?!) If I had wanted to remove Skye's portion of the quoted message, I just have to be careful when I'm deleting to make sure to remove the beginning command that contains Skye's name and leave the one that contains your name intact, kwim? I would also need to remove the ending command (the /quote one) from Skye's portion of the quoted but leave yours intact... so basically I would want to delete the "inner" most quote commands but leave the outer most commands intact.... Try a test and see if you can figure out what I'm saying (because it sounds really convoluted to me).

Edit: Where I wrote (open bracket), substitute a [ and where I wrote (end bracket), substitute a ] - I had to do the substitutions to prevent the site from making my post into an artificial quote!

 

[purplelou]

Madeline - I love the sound of boxing!!!!

Twinkle & Skye - reading all the posts here just now - and especially yours, has made me cry, half happy tears though cos Im so glad I have all of you https://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/grouphugg.gif

 

[purplelou]

HA - you have had such an interesting and international upbringing!!

 

[missyt]

Carol, thanks a lot. I really appreciate you opening up like that. I did drop out from the thread over the summer because I was "trying not to think about it" (stupid advice) and I think I missed your BFP. Its an inspiration seeing women who've had failed IVFs get a natural BFP. I was never one to go to doctors before. I didn't even have a GP ever! The only time I went to the doctor was for my annual pap smear or if I got inured (broken finger, broken toe). I never really had a reason to form a relationship with a doctor until now. Actually I do have a GP now and I love her. So there is hope. I know what you mean about getting healthy again. I don't think my body is ready right now to go through all those stims. I'm not emotionally ready either. I do feel like the RE did do something wrong with my meds. I happen to know a 24 year old girl going to the same clinic/different RE that was on the same protocol and meds as me. Different dosage however, she has PCOS and endometriosis. Something just didn't sound right. And like you said, it should be a team. With my 4 IUIs and IVF, I had a different doctor do each procedure. It felt really impersonal. They had even switched nurses on me. I wasn't able to form a relationship with anyone at the clinic. It was basically like a wharehouse.

 

[missyt]

Thanks HA!

 

[HappyAuntie]

You're welcome, Missy!

Hey, speaking of boxing, how did our burlesque pioneers make out??

 

[HappyAuntie]

Aye aye aye... my GIANT box of IVF meds just arrived... deep breath... deep breath... holy crap that's a lot of drugs....

I seriously don't have enough room in my fridge for all this!

yeowza.

And I haven't even seen the bill yet.

 

[onmymind17]

Mbaby - I feel like it's the "people I know" part of my post you have picked up on, and I apolgise if I offended you with that, it was not meant that way at all. I did try to clarify before. Obviously I don't really "know" any of you, and even since I joined there have been people come and go. I read every page of the thread (like a mad stalker) so I did feel like I "knew" all of you (which is probably a bit creepy when you think about it) I got quite obsessed, for example I cried when I read about Mommy's angel's BFP (and I hadn't even spoken with her) anyway the point of all this waffle is that appreciate any cheering on or rooting anyone wants to do for me/us, but it's those people who pop in, and it's their first post and they tell us not to give up hope becuase it happened for them. I can appreciate they are overwhelmed with joy (as we all would be) and want to share their news but it isn't helpful to me personally. (and I have a feeling that it's mentioned somewhere in the guidelines on the forum about announcing BFPs) - If anything it makes me feel more of a failure that I haven't managed a pregnancy yet that was sticky (since it's what our bodies are designed to do)

I am grateful you are rooting for us - thank you xxx you should feel welcome and free to visit anytime xxx


afm - I feel like I'll not go on about this anymore, sorry ladies - I just realised I made a whole lot of posts on the subject (Note to self - shush!)

I spoke to my mum last night, the contracts are being exchange on the house tomorrow with a completion/moving date of the 19th December. they had a letter from the consultant at the hospital as they were due to go on holiday next week and obviously can't go, so the Doctor sent them a letter they could send to their insurance company - she read it out to me on the phone and it says something a little different to what they had been told before, in that she thinks it may be a renal (kidney) cancer that has spread - bit shitty really (sorry for the language) because my dad only has one kidney (from birth)

Oh honey, i am so very sorry about your dad, if you need someone to talk to about it, please PM me, as my dad went through the very same thing, and he also only had one kidney from birth. Sending you super big hugs

 

[onmymind17]

Aye aye aye... my GIANT box of IVF meds just arrived... deep breath... deep breath... holy crap that's a lot of drugs....

I seriously don't have enough room in my fridge for all this!

yeowza.

And I haven't even seen the bill yet.

LMAO, omg you just cracked me up with this!!!!

For all the other beautiful ladies on here, can i just say how much i love you all!!!! I most of the time lurk, because with giving up on TTC i sometimes feel like i have nothing to contribute, but you ladies amaze me and always make me feel welcome and loved. Everybody on here has bad days, there are days i just cant even post on here, or even lurk and check on you ladies, and then there are days that i just love all of you and am praying so hard for all your bfp's. Never ever feel like you ladies are not the best most loving bunch i have ever had the joy of meeting. Each and every day that i come on here i pray so hard to see someone get a bfp, stupid as it sounds it always gives me just a teeny tiny flicker of hope that maaaaaaaybe it could just happen for me. You ladies are all my inspirations, and my support, your always there when i need you, and for that i am blessed!!!! Never change who you are, always post what your feeling, thats what this is for, and never feel guilty for being upset with a post, we are all human, and we are all struggling here. I love all of you ladies!!!!

 

[missyt]

Aye aye aye... my GIANT box of IVF meds just arrived... deep breath... deep breath... holy crap that's a lot of drugs....

I seriously don't have enough room in my fridge for all this!

yeowza.

And I haven't even seen the bill yet.

HA, yes it does seem like a lot but you will end up taking all of it or most of it. I do have some left over medication I don't even know what to do with. What did you get? Just curious.

 

[Tititimes2]

Aye aye aye... my GIANT box of IVF meds just arrived... deep breath... deep breath... holy crap that's a lot of drugs....

I seriously don't have enough room in my fridge for all this!

yeowza.

And I haven't even seen the bill yet.

Yay! This is progress! So darn happy you are on your way. Please tell me some of it is covered by insurance?!?!?!

 

[FutureMommie]

Hey ladies I'm on my phone so I'm not adding a smiley but. I think we need a group hug! We are a great group and I love love this thread and you ladies! I have been on some horrible ttc sites with some really snarky cruel women and what I love about you ladies is that you are so supportive and caring. I always know when I come here that I can express my happiness or sadness and I ALWAYS leave feeling a little better! Its nice that when I'm lurking and haven't posted that you care enough to wonder if I'm ok!!!! I hope some of the ladies that have thought about leaving will reconsider.

Caroleb- don't even think about leaving us! We have been on this difficult journey with you, we want to know how you are!

Skye- you offer us do much! Please don't even think about going anywhere!!! We need your expertise and positive energy!!!

Lava, Titi- we want to know how you are!!!

HA- yay for the Big "@ss" box of meds! I love that your positivity is coming back! We are going to get there!!!!!

Hey twinks, purple, and allof you ladies!!!

Afm- I'm not working today, why do I torture myself with all of these baby shows such as A Baby Story and Bringing Home Baby....oh well!

 

[missyt]

FM, big group hug sounds great.

Titi, I was just catching up on your journal when the site timed out. Wow, you have been through a lot. I'm praying this one sticks for good and you have a healthy 9 months and a healthy baby.

AFM, I so regret that I told people almost 2 years ago now how much I wanted a baby and that we were trying. A just heard from a friend I hadn't talked to in a few months and they first question was "are you pregnant yet?". Ugh, I'm so tired of saying no. I couldn't even get into the who failed IVF thing with her. I think I'm only going to talk about this stuff with you girls and no outsiders.

 

[NorthStar]

Future Mommie do you watch any of the adoption shows?

Even though I'm a hard hearted practical type I found myself blubbing over an adoption show a month or two back. Sadly adoption is almost impossible in the UK, there were only 70 babies adopted in the whole of 2010.