TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[purplelou]

FM - I watch those shows too, Ive been home today and have watched bringing home baby, babes in the wood and a baby story. Oh and then 2 episodes of 19 kids and counting I am sad case!!

 

[HappyAuntie]

HA, yes it does seem like a lot but you will end up taking all of it or most of it. I do have some left over medication I don't even know what to do with. What did you get? Just curious.

My protocol will be 225iu follistim in the morning, 150iu menopur plus 75iu follistim in the evening, ganirelix to prevent ovulation, an intra-muscular hCG trigger (pregnyl, maybe? I forget), and estrace (oral estrogen) and prometrium (progesterone suppositories) after transfer. (Plus vicodin for the retrieval and valium for the transfer.) My IUI protocols have been 100-150iu follistim once daily, ganirelix, and prometrium after IUI, so he's based the IVF protocol on how I've responded during the IUI cycles.

What was your IVF protocol like? I have no idea what other protocols are like.... And if your leftover meds are unopened, definitely save them for next time.

Yay! This is progress! So darn happy you are on your way. Please tell me some of it is covered by insurance?!?!?!

Yes, thank God. I doubt we'd be trying it otherwise. I'm fully aware that we are paying only a fraction of what people with no infertility coverage pay, and I still struggle with coming to terms with spending this kind of $$$.

I think my co-pay for the drugs will be somewhere around $1200-$1500 - I won't find that out until I get my insurance statement in about a week. Our co-pay for drugs is 20% of the total cost of the drugs, our co-pay for the monitoring visits (ultrasounds) is 15%, all my bloodwork is free to me (it's covered at 100%), and my co-pay for the actual procedures (IUI, egg retrieval, embryo transfer) is 50% of the total cost. The ballpark estimate for all the monitoring and procedures is that we'll be paying $4000-$5000 out of pocket (in addition to the $1200-$1500 we're paying for the drugs), but that's really just a guess based on what other patients at my clinic with my insurance have paid in the last year. And that's what it is THIS year... Aetna could change our coverage completely beginning January 1, and we have no idea if they will or not - we can only wait and see.... They're absolute jerks to deal with - it's like they do everything in their power to make you just not want to use your coverage - but I really do thank God that we have the coverage at all.

We won't be starting IVF until late January - we have a family reunion at Disney World happydance coming up the first week of January that we've been planning for 3 years now, so after our last IUI in October we decided to hold off on any treatments until after that trip - with my history of first tri losses, I'm not traveling more than 2 hrs away from my dr for the first tri the next time I get pregnant - there was no way I was going to risk miscarrying at Disney World. (The hard part is that we were pregnant with our first when we started planning this trip, so there is no escaping or forgetting the fact that we thought we'd have a 2 1/2 yo with us at Disney. )

And yeah, it definitely feels good to be doing something proactive again. DH and I have both felt like we're floundering during this wait - we're itching to get started again. My counselor keeps reminding me that we're not doing nothing right now - we are attending to our emotional health by taking this break, and that is a crucial part of our overall treatment plan... some days I just don't buy that, though!

 

[purplelou]

That is a LOT of meds!!
My head is spinning!
I used to panic about forgetting to take my contraceptive pill (bah!)
I am already rooting for you xx



Ladies - this is my last post till Monday as me and DH are away on a long weekend and I won't have access to any internet, so I am thinking of you all and sending you all a ton of I will catch up on everything when I get back.

Big loves xx

 

[HappyAuntie]

FM, I'm loving the group hug. (Twinkle, where is that group hug smiley you found??) You're absolutely right about the general atmosphere of loving support and respect on here compared to other sites. Every once in a while we have things come up like they have the last few days, but even then we all manage to discuss things like adults, without getting personal or mean, and in the end I really think we come out stronger for it.

Now turn off the sad shows and do something better with your day off! Or if you want to leave the tv on, at least turn it to something like The Waltons or Little House on the Prairie - they always make me cry in a good way. (I know, I'm sappy! )

Future Mommie do you watch any of the adoption shows?

Even though I'm a hard hearted practical type I found myself blubbing over an adoption show a month or two back. Sadly adoption is almost impossible in the UK, there were only 70 babies adopted in the whole of 2010.

I am appalled that adoption rates in the UK are so low!! WTH?! I had no idea!

Lou, enjoy your mini-holiday!! An internet break is good for all of us every now and then.

 

[NorthStar]

Yep it's pretty much impossible to adopt a child in the UK, probably as a result of many years of government policy that has favoured keeping birth families together at all costs, and putting children into long term fostering to give parents every chance to get them back regardless of welfare of the child Any child going into the system is likely to be there for years awaiting adoption.https://www.guardian.co.uk/news/datablog/2011/sep/29/adoption-statistics-england

It's a pretty sad situation for those children, and for the many couples wanting to adopt.

Purplelou have a great long weekend with DH, you really deserve some fun

 

[Madeline]

Its the same in Australia, while the world is full of children with no parents desperate for a home, petty bureaucrats and their often racist and myopic views on family make it as difficult as possible to adopt.

I would adopt in a heartbeat if we could. it makes no difference to me whether the child has my biological material or not. I just want to be the best parent I can be and I become emotional when I see children in various disadvantaged countries with no parents, no hope and no future and high risk of being abused and I think why are we creating another life when there are so many in need.

Not that I don't appreciate the uniqueness of the pregnancy experience etc and peoples desire to conceive.

I just have trouble reconciling the vast number of children with no parents I guess...

Ok my little rant is over now

Madeline xx

 

[twinkle1975]

https://www.runemasterstudios.com/graemlins/images/grouphug.gif Group Hug!!!! (I think I like the other one more - is it Purple's - I love the way it gathers everyone up!!)

Madeline - I agree with you on the adoption thing - I'd love to adopt a child but we've got so many things that might count against us - weight, age, religion, living in a flat not a house - that I think we'd have almost no chance!!

I'm a bit worried that neither mbababy or mummy2bisme have been back - I hope they'll read what we've said & know they're included in the love https://www.runemasterstudios.com/graemlins/images/love.gif

HA - you asked about the Burlesque situation - as you know DH & I are having some 'issues' atm so the Burlesque has been put on hold for the moment!!

 

[missyt]

HA, yes it does seem like a lot but you will end up taking all of it or most of it. I do have some left over medication I don't even know what to do with. What did you get? Just curious.

My protocol will be 225iu follistim in the morning, 150iu menopur plus 75iu follistim in the evening, ganirelix to prevent ovulation, an intra-muscular hCG trigger (pregnyl, maybe? I forget), and estrace (oral estrogen) and prometrium (progesterone suppositories) after transfer. (Plus vicodin for the retrieval and valium for the transfer.) My IUI protocols have been 100-150iu follistim once daily, ganirelix, and prometrium after IUI, so he's based the IVF protocol on how I've responded during the IUI cycles.

What was your IVF protocol like? I have no idea what other protocols are like.... And if your leftover meds are unopened, definitely save them for next time.

I was on BCP first so they could control my cycle. Then for injectables I was doing 225 iu of menopur and 225iu of bravelle each night at first. Then the last few days it got bumped up to 300 iu or menopur at night and 300iu of bravelle in the morning. I was doing ganirelix too to prevent ovulation. The thing was that I had one follicle that was clearly leading. There were 3 behind it that were close. I guess that was why I ended up with 4 mature ones out of the 10 that were collected. That is good your insurance is covering that much. I hope it doesn't change much after Jan. 1. I have Aetna too. I had a $5K max for life for IVF. Obviously that is all used up now. It basically only covered my injectables. I thought dealing with the Aetna pharmacy was horrible. BTW, I went back on the antidepressents today. She also gave me some xanax in case I feel another panic attack come on. I really wish your the best with your IVF so you can give all of us some hope. I know you've been through so much. And yes, I agree with the counselor in getting yourself in a good emotional state. That is very important. That is actually what I'm trying to do now.

Northstar, that is awful about adoption in the UK. That makes me mad. I can't believe the government would rather put a child in a foster home than would a good, loving family who WANTS them.

 

[HappyAuntie]

So, with regards to adoption in the UK and Australia, is it also near impossible to adopt from abroad? Or is that easier than domestic adoption? It's incredible to me that they would make it so difficult. I understand wanting to keep the biological family together if possible, but come on, there has to be a common sense balance somewhere....

Twinkle, I thought about your burlesque situation as soon as I posted that... just tuck that skill away and pull it back out when you're ready.

 

[HappyAuntie]

I was on BCP first so they could control my cycle. Then for injectables I was doing 225 iu of menopur and 225iu of bravelle each night at first. Then the last few days it got bumped up to 300 iu or menopur at night and 300iu of bravelle in the morning. I was doing ganirelix too to prevent ovulation. The thing was that I had one follicle that was clearly leading. There were 3 behind it that were close. I guess that was why I ended up with 4 mature ones out of the 10 that were collected. That is good your insurance is covering that much. I hope it doesn't change much after Jan. 1. I have Aetna too. I had a $5K max for life for IVF. Obviously that is all used up now. It basically only covered my injectables. I thought dealing with the Aetna pharmacy was horrible. BTW, I went back on the antidepressents today. She also gave me some xanax in case I feel another panic attack come on. I really wish your the best with your IVF so you can give all of us some hope. I know you've been through so much. And yes, I agree with the counselor in getting yourself in a good emotional state. That is very important. That is actually what I'm trying to do now.

That Aetna pharmacy is AWFUL!! Aetna requires precertification for fertility meds but my company opted out of that requirement... but every.single.time my nurse places an order for me, she and I go through almost a week of runaround from them as they wait for my labs, insisting that precert is required, no matter how often we tell them to go check MY records and they'll see I have an override in effect. They really are awful. They need to get their head out of their a$$es.

Thanks for sharing your protocol. It's fascinating to me all the different combinations and permutations possible. I'm glad you're still working with your counselor, and woo hoo! All aboard the anti-depressant train! I hit the six month mark a few days ago, and when I look back over my journal, I can't believe I resisted them as long as I did - the difference between me then and me now is night and day. Not that life is perfect or everything is easy now, but the lows aren't anywhere near as low as they used to be - they're manageable now. It's a good thing.

 

[twinkle1975]

So, with regards to adoption in the UK and Australia, is it also near impossible to adopt from abroad? Or is that easier than domestic adoption? It's incredible to me that they would make it so difficult. I understand wanting to keep the biological family together if possible, but come on, there has to be a common sense balance somewhere....

Twinkle, I thought about your burlesque situation as soon as I posted that... just tuck that skill away and pull it back out when you're ready.

There were over 65,000 children in care in the UK and only 60 of them were adopted, it's utter craziness.

If you want to adopt a child from abroad you still have to pass a UK adoption board I believe.

Thanks HA - love you xx

 

[Madeline]

The possibility of adoption of a child born in Australia is low because so few children are put up for adoption for similar reasons other have mentioned here. While I totally understand reluctance in separating children from their parents in situations where there is risk of harm etc it seems to me that the childs interests should come first.

As for adopting children from OS well its a ridiculous situation. Here is a link to a story on this very topic by Hugh Jackmans wife Deborah Furness who has been trying to draw attention to this topic. She claims "..Australia has the second lowest number of inter-country adoptions in the world. The only one below us is the United Kingdom." Here is the link - https://www.abc.net.au/unleashed/36942.html


Madeline xx

 

[missyt]

HA, I remember being on the phone with Aetna fertility department and Aetna pharmacy for 1/2 the day one day on my Friday off. I even told them that this process is stressful enough for me that I would think seeing as they do this as their job, they'd have it together a little bit better. My case got all messed up too with the pre-cert and then they forgot to send my Lupron so make sure you double check your meds really good and if I were you I'd call your nurse tomorrow and confirm all the meds with her. That was the only way I knew they forgot the Lupron. I went to an injection class but my head was still spinning. If your clinic offers an injection class, go. I thought it'd be a peice of cake after the IUI injections but it is a little bit different. I recently read in one of my feritlity books that some women conceive easier on antidepressents. Interesting.

Madeline and Twinkle, I still can't get over the adoption situations in the UK and Australia. Hearing what goes on there, we are very fortunate in the US. My brother and SIL adopted a beautiful newborn girl last January with no hassle. Also, a girl I work with has a son from a private adoption here in the states.

 

[Madeline]

Hi missyt

wat wonderful news or your brother and your friend I think you do seem more fortunate in the US with regards adoption.

Madeline xx

 

[Dwrgi]

Good morning everybody, and how are we all???

Purple-I know you probably won't read this in time, but have a BRILLIANT weekend away. You so deserve it. I am so sorry to hear about your father's cancer, and just know that you will be there to help him and your mother as much as you can. I am sending you a HUGE hug-will be thinking of you!

FM-hello you! You've been hiding! Thanks so much for coming to say hello, and saying you feel better after being on here! This is what it's all about. I think we all respect and love each other and behave responsibly towards one another. I haven't ever encountered such support as this, and how wonderful to hear somebody else say the same! Have a lovely weekend, lovely!

OMM-the same to you! I am so sad that you don't post as you did, but can well understand why. It is good to know that you are lurking and looking out for each and every one of us. I hope that you are okay-your posts are always very welcome and always raise a smile. Big hugs to you too honey!

HA-Holy crap, that is A LOT of drugs! I think that Missy's advice is very sage-check with your nurse that you have everything that you need and make sure that all the meds that need to go into the fridge are placed in there immediately. With mine, the invoice didn't state that Menopur should be refrigerated, so we didn't. It was only at the consult we were told that it should-but our FS said that as we don't live in a hot country that it shouldn't matter. But I know of somebody else at the same clinic who did the same as us (bad pharmacy) and and ordered another batch. We didn't do this as we couldn't afford it as I was on maximum dose and it would have cost another £800! The clinic saw us as guinea pigs. So, check check check!!

I love the idea of your Disney World reunion-it is so important to have things to look forward to and nothing better than getting together with family, surely? I was also fascinated to hear about your upbringing in Antwerp. I feel I know you so much better now.

Incidentally, I was on 450 units of menopur and 350 suprecur each day and then my trigger shot was ovitrelle (which is where I think my treatment went wrong-pregnyl has much better results with 'poor responders' so am going to have this with Cycle 2). Hugs to you!

Missy-not a bad idea at all to go back to anti-depressants. Do whatever you have to do to keep your head above water. This is an incredibly stressful time and you really have to put yourself first. My friend used to have panic attacks and she was prescribed anti-deps for them too. It's all about mind over matter isn't it? Nothing too difficult there then, NOT! But I remember she was told to regulate her breathing and do lots of relaxation exercises, so your yoga would be brilliant with helping with this. I hope you have a lovely weekend planned-big hugs to you hun,

Madeline-shocking about adoption in the UK and Oz-mad that children are left with foster carers when they could be establishing loving ties with their new families. The system is all wrong, isn't it? Where are you at with your cycle, if you don't mind me asking? Good luck to you with getting a BFP in the very near future!

Titi-so glad to see you. How are you? I hope that you are taking it easy and trying to take each day at a time. I am thinking of you and keeping all my fingers crossed-although I'm sure I won't need to! Have a lovely weekend too!

Twinkle-how are you hun?? Hope you're okay? Strangely, I don't give a s&&t either (about IT all, not about how you are)!! Have a great weekend, Axxxx

MTBiM-where are you hun? Please come and post-we are all here ready to support you! I hope you have a great weekend planned. Thinking of you, Axx

Hi to everybody that I may have missed, Lava, Skye, Carole and anybody else that my amnesiac brain has overlooked-big hugs to you all!

AFM-girls (on film), Duran were AMAZING!! OMG-John Taylor-OMG (hyperventilating, hyperventilating, breathe breathe, get me some air, phew, close shave there!!), how gorgeous is he (and surprisingly rather skinny)? They were fab and played all their best hits (although NOT Girls on Film, which I love). Alas, I wasn't close enough to chuck my knickers on to the stage and forgot my catapault so that didn't happen. But the gesture was there in thought, oh yes it was!!!

Can I also ask a rather delicate question? I think I actually managed to find some CM this morning; I wasn't looking too hard, I can promise you, it just sort of arrived, but is this EW?? It was stretchy, a bit lumpy, but clear and transparent? I am on CD11 I think and I am going to text my OH now to tell him he needs to get on with The Business as soon as I get in tonight, assuming it's not too late already, as I have been having twinges for days now. But I never have any CM so this is A DEVELOPMENT. It was obviously Duran Duran that did it, and lusting over Gorgeous John. What do you think girls (about the CM-not JT)???

Anyway, better rush, bell's about to go, and I need to sort out my next lesson (Oedipus Rex-sex with your mother. Great).

Love to you all and I am sending group hug thoughts to each and every one of you!!!

 

[Dwrgi]

Obviously a BIG hello to Butterfly too, who I completely forgot as I am a dimwit!! Hope you're okay hun? Hope you have a good weekend and that T decides to play ball for a bit longer!

xxxx

 

[NorthStar]

HA & Madeline,

A couple in the UK looking to adopt from abroad still have to pass through all the UK Social Services tests and will be subject to a minimum of 12 home study visits before they can proceed, the social services website quote the minimum waiting time as being in the region of 4 + years. Then there are also restrictions on age, weight, pets of the potential adopters etc etc. Then on top of that are the costs of adoption from abroad.

That is part of the reason that the press went medieval on Madonna when her and Guy Ritchie started adopting kids from abroad, they didn't seem to have to jump through all the hoops and wait for 4 + years.

I would say that government policies in both Britain and Australia are actively anti-adoption and it is terrible. UK girls there's a documentary on Panorama about it next week, saw a trailer this morning, they are interviewing these poor wee kids who've been in care their whole lives. It's morally wrong

At the same time we have a case in Glasgow where a junkie let her baby starve to death when he should have been taken off her and adopted out.

Sorry don't mean to be a downer, it just makes me angry.

 

[Madeline]

hi dwrgi, the system is all wrong no doubt about that.... I am on day 22 of my cycle I don't think there is any chance that I am getting BFP this cycle while I have been trying to get the BBT thing right because its the first month I have focused on it consistently I want sure when the dip really was so I thought the dip was day 11 and we did it at that time but then a few days later there was a bigger dip and my partner was away for work so there was no chance...

I have bought my first pregnancy and ovulation test and whilst I have no idea how to use it yet I am going to dedicate myself to getting it right for my up coming cycle.

Have you used the ovulation tests are they effective d u think?

For me the next key time is around new years eve. It will be the second time we will be officially trying and because we will be on a break we can do lots of practicing till we get it right lol

My understanding is that the CM you describe is associated with ovulation but I am sure others here are better able to comment from their experience as mine is limited at this point. I have my fingers crossed for you though it sounds ver promising

Madeline xx

 

[NorthStar]

Dwrgi I love that John Taylor gets the award for inspiring CM

Anyway it's time to get jiggy with it, have a fun weekend

 

[Madeline]

hi northstar, i think you are right about Australia and the UK. OMG that poor child, that is horrific....

Whilst I understand the need to vet people etc the people doing the vetting tend to be petty bureaucrats who apply rules inflexibly and out of context and the more senior people framing the policies are like many civil servants risk adverse, political and therefore more likely to be self oriented in their decision making. So the child's welfare seems to come last.

I dont blame you for being angry the whole process is ass about if you ask me...as for the drug addict story I am still trying to process that one.

madeline xx