TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[dodgercpkl]

Thanks ladies. The last 2 weeks have felt like they lasted a lifetime. I've been pretty much all over the emotional spectrum. We are grieving but trying to move forward.

 

[dodgercpkl]

Hi again!
Thanks for the thoughts ladies. Turns out that I got a second line. I thought I was seeing things and did it again today and the DH saw as well. (yay! i haven't lost my mind!)
Though I am not counting my egg till it hatches so to speak. after a mc on cycle 2 I can't help but be a bit worried.

I'm hoping for a very sticky bean for you!

 

[Neversaynever]

Dodger... so sorry hun

Dhime... and congrats

Everyone else... I am still here....just about

XxX

 

[Dwrgi]

Dodger... so sorry hun

Dhime... and congrats

Everyone else... I am still here....just about

XxX

Morning girls! How are you all?

Manuiti-I have thought about you often! Don't lurk-join us again! How are you hun? Hope you're managing to co-ordinate some DTD with DH. Good luck for a 2012 bundle of joy!!

Dodger-very sorry to hear your news.

Pad-hey chick! Good to have you here! Hmm, a strange one to go back on BCP. No wonder you're dragging your heels. Take however long you need to decide what to do. Huge hugs to you hun!

PrayingtoGod-hi! Hope you get your sticky bean soon. 'Unexplained infertility' is the pits! x

Never-how are you? So glad that you popped back in. Do you finish this Friday or next week? How is the new job going? How are you feeling about everything? I hope that you are feeling a little bit stronger-it'll will take however long it will take, so take it easy hun and take good care of yourself.
Lots and lots of love,
Axxx

Purple-I hope you caught your egg this weekend! How was the trip away? I hope you had a lovely time and managed to relax after the tough few weeks you've had! Thinking of you, Axx

Hello-Butterfly, Missy, Purple, FM, HA, Lava, NorthStar, LeeC, Carole, Madeline, Titi, Twinkle, MTBiM, Skyyyyyyyye, OMM, Macwooly (how are you hun? Haven't heard from you in ages!), and anybody else I may have foolishly missed. Hope you have a good week, girls!

AFM-I think I ovulated this weekend, after a spectacular display of EWCM (eurgh) on Friday (post lusting obver JT in the Duran concert)-the deal is that I can rarely detect this, so I think the acupuncture is doing the trick. Anyway, DTD Friday and Sunday, so fingers crossed that the DHEA, Royal Jelly, Omega oils, blah blah blah finally help me pop out a good egg!

Lots of love to you all, Axxxx

 

[Neversaynever]

Dwrgi...hoping ypu did pop out a good egg and you did it

No new job I had to think about if I lost again and the timing would normally have been over Christmas and I didn't want to start a new job under a cloud of blah so I am still at the hell hole and no teacher as she is off with stress

Not sure if I told you ladies but I have my appointment for the RMC clinic on the 10th of January so will have blood taken etc. I'm due my first Af this weekend since my last loss *big*sigh* and we are on a break until after the testing (although we had a oopsie this month )

XxX

 

[Dwrgi]

Oopsie's are the way to go! Good idead to have an appointment with the RMC-hope they find something that can easily be rectified.

Oh dear, teacher off on stress. An all-too-familiar story! Hope that doesn't mean more work for you?

Take it easy hun, and one day at a time. Booh bah AF-hate her!

 

[missyt]

LeeC, welcome to our thread! You'll fit right in.

Pad, prayingtoGod, Manuiti, Never, good to see all of you pop in!

Dodger,

Carole, thanks so much for your words of encouragement. I do have a lot of faith in the acupuncture. It makes me feel a lot better when I leave out of there. I know that it is good for my body and I'm glad to hear it helped with your hormone levels.

Dwrgi, I so hope you are one of those ladies that gets your BFP naturally! Especially after that 1st IVF!

AFM, I'm just trying to take care of myself. I think through all of this TTC we are hardest on ourselves. I went to acupuncture on Saturday and it really helped with my mood. I also went to see a friend after who was diagnosed with breast cancer a few months ago. I was so happy to find out she doesn't need chemo now. It was wonderful visiting with her and she is one of the few that knows what I'm going through and understand and doesn't make stupid comments. Yesterday I went to church with a friend of mine. A few months back I asked if she'd take me to her church since I'd never been to a Methodist church before. I think that did me some good too. I usually go to my Catholic but Catholics are usually so stoic and of course the typical Catholic guilt hovers over. I also started doing my yoga and qigong so that is helping some too.

 

[manuiti]

Manuiti-I have thought about you often! Don't lurk-join us again! How are you hun? Hope you're managing to co-ordinate some DTD with DH. Good luck for a 2012 bundle of joy!!

Aww, thank you! Well today is CD1 for me. For the first time ever I was 2 days over my luteal phase and I went out and bought a hpt yesterday, was impatient and tested right away (not with fmu) and I thought I could see something and got all excited about testing this morning. I'd even had a proper night sweat the night before. Then just after 7pm last night I got some fairly mild but very localised cramps (normally my AF cramps are just a dull, heavy feeling ache). And then AF turned up. I really shouldn't have let myself get excited because now I'm really down in the dumps and very teary. DH isn't home now until February so that's TTC out the window for a little while.

But I'll try to stick around here this time because we've now decided that that's enough trying to conceive naturally as with DHs job the odds really aren't on our side even if everything is working just fine in both of us. But we don't even know that. Also I turn 37 in March and things just aren't going to be getting any easier for us now. So I'll be getting off my back side and sorting out medical insurance for us out here in S America and organising initial tests for myself and for DH once he's home again. And we'll go from there.

Sorry I've neglected this forum. Everyone's so lovely and so supportive.
xx

 

[twinkle1975]

Manuiti - sorry the witch got you

Missy - glad you found the Methodist church helpful - we do tend to be fairly cheery!!

Never - glad you're going to get to see someone about the RMs soon - hopefully they'll have some answers for you.

Dwrgi - I'm still giggling to myself about Duran Duran kick starting your ewcm!!

Welcome back prayingtogod

Hello everyone else xxxxxx

I did the nativity story for a toddler group this morning - went really well but had the usual stresses of being surrounded by lots of gorgeous babies. Sigh.

 

[purplelou]

Hi Lovely ladies

Ive just been catching up on all posts - wow, everyone chatted loads!!

ok, I might have to do this in a few bursts to get caught up,

Hi Lee - welcome to the thread lovely to "meet you"

Pad how are you doing hun?? I think about you loads. Hope you are doing ok? I don't blame you for not starting the pill either xxx

Dodger - I am so so sorry for you loss there are no words that can make it better, I know. be kind to yourself and if you need a cry, then have one. I know that awful feeling of tears coming and not being able to do anything about them xxx

Dwrgi - hahah - I wonder if JT has any clue about the effect he has on CM?? I really hope that you caught the eggy as a result!

Twinkle - Christmas is so close - you ticker is now cheerung me up rather than scaring me! what do you usually do for Christmas?

HA - I bet you can't wait for your disneyland trip. how wounder. it is a family reunion?? how many are going?

FM - I was so excited to read about your first interview with the adoption people? as the other ladies have discussed, it's so hard to adopt here in the UK. I hope you don't have to wait long!! it sounds like it went so well!

Manuiti - welcome back, we've missed you xxx

Prayingtogod - welcome back, I hope your stay is short xxx

Tigerlilly - and hi to you too! I thought about you and wondered How you were

Carole - how are you doing? you are almost at your 20 weeks scan mark. do they still do that where you are??

Missy - there is no shame on being on antidepressants at all! you need to do whatever you need to feel good! for any other medical problem we would take the meds the doctor recommended, and depression should be no different

never - big to you hun. I hope your appointment at the recurrent MC goes well, maybe there will be some answers for you to help in the future xxx

Butterfly - I hope you get some more chances at catching the eggy, I am sending you loads of and thoughts x

northstar - are you still in Paris or back home again now? and did you get your puppy??

skye - Im so happy you are feeling calmer now, did you go to the meeting of other moms-to-be??

MTBIM - I hope you are ok??

OMM - you are such a sweetie, I am sure I will PM you more about our dad's, thanks again xxxx

afm - well we had a lovely time on a mini cruise, 3 nights of relaxing and eating and drinking (way too much!) I think it's done us good, however according to FF and the CBFM - no ovulation yet, so it'll probably happen in the next few days (I hope) my cycles are very irregular - I am glad to have the CBFM or I would be missing O time all the time!

I Missed you ladies xxx https://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/grouphugg.gif

 

[twinkle1975]

Purple - you're such a good poster - you always take time to respond to everyone!!! xxxx

 

[twinkle1975]

Where did you mini-cruise to??

 

[purplelou]

Hi Twinks we went to belgium and france, it was cold but relaxing xxx

and I think we cross posted - so I need to award you another "Forced smile of the week award" for your efforts this morning .......

AWARDED TO TWINKLE, FOR HER NATIVITY PLAY EFFORTS THIS MORNING xx

https://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/7/5/thismyforced128597354905284486.jpg

 

[HappyAuntie]

I did the nativity story for a toddler group this morning - went really well but had the usual stresses of being surrounded by lots of gorgeous babies. Sigh.

DH is having a reeeeeaaaaalllllllllllyyyyyy hard time with Christmas this year. He has me quite worried, actually. He typically has a hard time dealing with our ttc breaks because he's very goal-oriented and doesn't know what to do with himself when he's not actively working toward a goal, so I wasn't surprised when his mood started suffering several weeks ago. He started getting much more sensitive to any perceived slight, he doesn't want to go to work (he hasn't gone in till 10ish on some days and he doesn't care if anyone notices), he has stopped working out completely (and he used to work out 90min/day, 5 days/week), he says he feels really pessimistic about our chances in general, he feels beaten down, defeated, etc.... Yesterday he stayed in bed until 1:30p. He only got up after I went in and just laid down with him and held him for a while. He'd apparently been awake for some time and just didn't want to get out of bed, didn't want to feel anything, etc and had been crying quite a bit. He basically is going thru every single emotion/action I went through and felt before starting my anti-depressants back in May. It's so similar to what I went thru it's like watching a recording of myself (only much slimmer and taller and with less hair ). He's been coming with me to counseling for the last month or so and has decided/agreed that he needs to start anti-depressants himself, but he has to wait until the first week of Feb for the first available appointment to see an MD to get the prescription (as our counselor is a PhD and therefore can't prescribe anything herself)!! It is SO frustrating that here is someone who wants and needs help sooner rather than later, and he has to wait until the first of February to get it. (He could get in to see our GP and get a prescription from him today if we had to, but he really needs to see a specialist in psychopharmacology because his family has a long history of bipolar disorder... he doesn't have bipolar himself, but some anti-d's have been known to kick some at-risk people into a manic phase, basically to jump-start bipolar disorder in someone who didn't have it previously. His family history of bipolar puts him at risk of having that complication of anti-d's, so we have to be really careful about what he takes, and a psychopharmacologist knows that group of drugs better than anyone else.)

Interestingly, our counselor said that in all her patients/clients, the men are typically a few months behind the women on everything related to infertility - a few months later to accept we need medical intervention, a few months later to accept the lesser interventions aren't working and we need to haul out the big guns, a few months later for the depression to hit.... I think it's because we're the ones who obsess about it, we're the ones who read and educate ourselves about it, we're the ones who talk about it, etc... the men have the luxury of keeping their heads in the sand longer than we do.


Welcome back to Manuiti, Praying and Tigerlily - glad to see you again. (Well, glad that we'll have you to talk with - not glad you're still ttc!)

Big hugs to you, Dodger.

I'm off to finish the rest of the Christmas shopping today, ladies - wish me luck!

 

[HappyAuntie]

HA - I bet you can't wait for your disneyland trip. how wounder. it is a family reunion?? how many are going?

We'll have 17 in our group! The last time this particular lot were all together was at my sister's wedding 12 years ago. The nice thing about having it at Disney is that we are all staying at the same place and we will have our breakfasts and dinners together, but during the day we're free to go off and do our own thing if we want to. It gives a really nice balance of having enough time spent together that you feel like you really got to vacation together, and enough time spent alone that you don't go from too much togetherness! We are at T minus 25 days today, and I can't wait - DH and I need a getaway so badly!! (Speaking of, I'm glad you enjoyed your mini-cruise!)

 

[twinkle1975]

Thanks Purple - that is indeed very much what my face looked like today!! Although the laugh the monkey gave me was a good kick up the arse!!
Mini cruise sounds fab - we're looking for somewhere to go away for my birthday in Jan but DH hasn't got a passport & we can't really afford to get him one atm so it'll have to be somewhere in this country.

HA - your poor DH, he's really suffering. It sucks that he can't get any help until Feb - now he's got to struggle through - literally- the darkest part of the year when it's so easy to feel down & cope with the holidays too. Big hugs to both of you Disney sounds amazing - I'm so jealous!!

So - lets talk about Christmas plans to take our minds of other stuff!!

So far my Christmas plans look like this:

Christmas Eve I'm working in the afternoon but it's lovely stuff so I don't mind - Christingle service at 4.30 (1st one I've done on my own!) at one church, 'X-factor meets the Nativity' Family service at 6.30 at another church.
Then spending the evening in the pub with friends before back to church for the midnight service.

Christmas Day - open a couple of presents at home, then go to church for Christmas Day service -see DH's Mum & swap presents. Drive 45 mins to my parents, help my Mum to cook dinner (my brother & his boyfriend aren't coming home this year) eat lots, play games, drink, watch tv, eat more. Stay over

Boxing Day - drive to DH's aunties for the day with his Mum's family - all 17 of them squished in one medium sized house - they're very loud but it's fun!! I'm in charge of the annual Boxing Day Quiz this year - better get started on that soon!!

Between Christmas and New Year we're both off so we'll be seeing family and friends & sleeping a lot!!

New Year we're going over to Lincoln to visit some friends for a couple of nights so that will involve lots of board games, drinking & usually mountains of bacon & sausages (as the people going are mostly guys & that's all they remember to bring!!

What's anyone else doing???

 

[Butterfly67]

Purple, glad you had a lovely mini-break, that always reminds me of Bridget Jones

HA, it does for sure sound like your DH is suffering from depression and what a nightmare that he cannot get any medication until next year. Do you think that St John's wort will help at all? I think it may only really scratch the surface and 'real' drugs are a better bet but maybe it will just help a little bit.

Twinkle, your Xmas plans sound lovely

Xmas is not so exciting in our family as there are always stresses about who goes where and does what and that just ends up spoiling it. So I'll go down to my sister's with my Mum on Xmas eve. Then going to my half-brother's that evening but of course my mum has to stay on her own at my sister's as he is my Dad's son. Going to take my aunt who just went into a home to church on Xmas morning and hope that she is having a good day with her dementia and knows what is going on. Back to my house Boxing Day I guess. Feeling quite depressed about it all tbh

 

[twinkle1975]

Aww Butterfly, sorry Christmas is so stressful for you - in that case my wish for you is that it all goes smoothly and is over quickly!! Can you enjoy some chilling out time after Christmas??

 

[purplelou]

Oh HA - Im so sorry about your poor DH and that there is such a long wait for him to see the person he needs to

your family reunion sounds wonderful though!


Butterfly, I hope Christmas will be stress free for you xxx


Twinkle - your plans sound fab! I hope you have a twinkly wondeful time xxx


My parents will be staying with us over Christmas, and I intend to make it lovely and relaxing for them both, my wonderful MIL is making a big Christmas dinner for us all (me and DH, my parents, DH's parents and his brother) which will be lovely and there will be presents and then lots of board games etc me and DH are thinking about maybe going out somewhere on boxing day with my mum and dad, maybe the cinema - not sure yet and then maybe having a tasty lunch when DH's family will come. New Years eve tends to be fairly quiet here, there are normally a ton of fireworks around here and our dogs tend to panic, so we stay home and relax. I guess we will taking mum and dad around the sales etc to look at stuff for their new home (i.e. a kitchen etc) and I have to go back to work between Christmas and new year.

 

[missyt]

Purple, I loooooooooove that forced smile! If anything brings a smile to my face its a monkey. I don't know why. I'm weird.

HA, it definately does sound like DH is suffering from depression. Reading your post really made me sad. I understand a lot of the symptoms he is having because I have them too. I know Butterfly mentioned St. John's Wort. I actually drink an herbal tea that is St. John's Wort. I actually do think it helps a little but like BF said, nothing is as good as the real thing. I'm sure part of it has to do with the holidays. I've felt particularly low this Christmas too because last year this time I thought I'd be pregnant or have a baby by now. I'm sure many of us feel that way. I hope he can get in to see someone sooner than February.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to my Christmas plans. This is the first time in 3 years I'll be with MY family in MA for Christmas. Before DH, I always went home for Christmas but since I've been with him I've stayed here in MD with him because his son is here. Now he and the ex switch off holidays and his son is getting older anyway. We'll be going to MA for 5 days. I'm getting new tires on my Jeep so we can drive up there and handle the snow if they have any big storms. Since my parents are in their 70's now, I think its important I spend this time with them. Especially since my dad was sick in the fall. The time I do spend with them gets even more precious.