TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[Dwrgi]

Hi All,

Been a few days since i logged on - and wow - what a hell of a few bad days....i don't know where to even start...

Nutshell - DH and I got into ever so big argument that it led to him giving the silent treatment for 24 hours and then him staying at his brother's for 2 days while I spent 2 days on the couch crying my eyes out....fun fun.... (big fight about whether or not to go IUI / IVF route or wait it out and see if nature grants the baby....)

Either way, now the argument is solved (I hope) and we agreed (tuesday) to move forward with IUI if AF arrives this month...well sure enough, she did yesterday (and she arrived 4 days early). Called clinic and tried to book HSG and then spent about 2 hours calling difference labs, clinics, US departments all over. The clinic said that they wanted me to go to a closer clinic for the HSG, but as it turns out, there isn't one closer (hence all the phone calls yesterday), so now i wait for the clinic to call this morning to see when i go (day 5-11 lol)

Also, have to get a bunch of new blood work done because the last ones are now getting close to out dated. DH isnt too happy about that either, he really not a fan of needles...

And the clinic is now saying that it will be more than a month between this test and the consult with Doc to determine course of action. I find that strange because the first doc gave me the prescription for the fertile drugs, and now i am told not to use them...

So sad, this whole process is so utterly frustrating...not only am i continuously mad at myself for not being able to make this dream come true, but now DH and i are/were fighting, i am yelling at random strangers (at clinics etc...) I know that in the end it would be worth it - but this fight is draining me...

I honestly don't know what to do, how to think about moving forward in this battle (wow - that actually brought tears, TTC is a battle)

Yes, you're right, it is a complete battle, and people just don't have a clue grr:). I'm sorry that AF arrived and that you and your DH have been fighting. It IS a huge source of conflict and, alas, you'll hit many areas that you will disagree over, so you have to find a way of communicating with each other which doesn't involve a complete break down. I guess you need to find a way that works for you. Crying on the sofa for two days is not good for stress levels, and emotional strength which, as you alluded to, you will need. You need to sit DH down and spell it out to him exactly how this things is going to work, and what you need from him, and he needs from him. Anyway, I'm sure you can work out how to do this.

You DO need to have a 'long term' view of TTC, as, you may be lucky and fall straight away, and you may also be unlucky and it might take longer, if ever (sorry, that is reality. I never thought it would never happen to me, and I'm now facing that prospect. NEVER EVER thought I'd be in this boat). I think the main trick is to carry on with your life as best you can, and not to spend every waking moment thinking about vits, foods to take, exercise to avoid, opks, temps, etc. because that way disaster lies and YOU will go mad. Your life has to go on, and your life with your partner has to go on. That way, you won't resent the 'journey' as much as you've still got a life. You may say, what does she know?, but believe me, I've been there, and through every emotion you can think of, and that's the conclusion that I've come to.

I hope you get your test soon so you can start those meds. And take this time to get back to an even keel with DH (I know how that feels to, as we've been to hell and back with this journey, and know that it has made mine and my partner's relationship much stronger, although he still gets on my nerves from time to time ). Good luck hun, Axx

 

[Dwrgi]

oh and yes - the doggie is so very clever (NOT!!) bless her, this morning she's gotten stuck in a bush trying to chase a pigeon and needed rescuing

I know it's not possible, but I SWEAR me and your dog are related!!

have you been chasing piegeons too

Well, you know, when you've had a few drinks....

Ha ha-I LOVE this smilie-


Purps-hope you're okay after a day of feeling very sleepy! Yes, I think your dog is right, there's defo a storm in the offing, it is so muggy (not that I'm complaining, as it's been so pants this summer!). Thanks for the updates on Never-bless her, she must be sick to the back teeth!

 

[Dwrgi]

Dash sorry you have been feeling blah... so have I TBH. Been over a year since I fell pregnant and I have a sneaking suspicion that is it... all my eggies have disappeared...Guess we have to pick ourselves up and dust on some PMA and hope. x

Hello new ladies. best of luck with your journeys.. I am afraid I am a TTC dufus... and not much help at all really lol x

Oh lovely, you've been through the mill, and have come out the over side smiling and laughing (although we know how you must really feel ). You have to persevere, if this is what you really want, and try everything. And, you never know,who is to say that the ship has sailed??? Big to you lovely, and lots of PMS coming your way!!!

Oh, and how could I forget you were a booze bender BFPer!!! I love that story! And I quite agree that you do need to relinquish all responsibility for that 'lifestyle choice' haha:) on medical and legal grounds!!! Although I've heard it work for many-think it's to do with being soooooooo relaxed, but hopefully not unconscious!!!
Axxxx

 

[Dwrgi]

Well, I promise that I'm not trying to take over the world, but just trying to remember everybody's posts so thought would reply straight away! Sorry

Having said that, need to remember the following:

Treegap-have defo read that around about 11am is ideal time to test for ovulation with opks, and I think that Dash's advice is really good!! (Re. opaque cup! You are a super secretive munchkin to have worked that method out!!! I wish I could see you! Brilliant! ). Good luck though, Axx

Janey-I defo think that going out and getting smashed a few times a week is a bad idea if you're TTC, as even my uber liberal fertility consultant, advocates 'moderate' drinking. If I'm not having treatment, I'll have a few glasses of cider (yum yum-betcha'r jealous Lils ) on a Saturday night, and that's it. I so look forward to it, as I don't touch alcohol on a school night-it's just not worth it the next day when you have pupils asking a million questions per second. My consultant even says 'why not?' to a couple of glasses during treatment, as the benefits derived from the relaxation from the alcohol can be so valuable. But she has stipulated 'moderate'. This time, unlike last time, I've had a couple of halves of cider, but a good few days in between. You have to be careful, and you don't want to berate yourself for somthing that you can change. Hope that helps. xx

Flutter-I completely agree with Dashka about getting your partner's sperm tested. What if you used Clomid for 6 months (which is also quite unorthodox, 3 is what I've heard advocated) and then discovered his swimmers were going nowhere other than down the drain??? It's worth the $150 to know what you're up against. Good luck! x

Hi Lils-and thanks for your advice re. Glastonberry! I thought a lot of you today, being there, so hope you didn't have strange collywobbles all day with my newly found healing energy winging its way across the Pond to you!!!

Dash-hope you're feeling a little bit better today. I sooooooooo hope that evil BagFace doesn't come a-knocking!! xxx

Owl-there is DEFO something going on, and I'm so excited for you. Wouldn't it be fab if THIS was YOUR cycle???!!!

Hi everybody and big cwtches all round!

OH and I did some shopping in Clark's Village (which was fab) and then walked up Glastonberry winkwink Tor, where I almost had a heart attack as a. it was sooooooo steep, and b. it was so hot. Then we went to the Chalice Well and Gardens that Lils Lil had recommended, and ended up having a really good, honest, chat about life, infertility, dreams, hopes, etc. Aaaaaaaah. (Vomit ). Worst thing is I've got a dickie tummy (which OH also has-we both had steak last night??) and was told to avoid all foods that could give me a stomach upset as it could affect 'things' post treatment. Go bl**dy figure, as my lovely American friends would say!!

Oh, and as Pad said, it's actually sunny in the UK!!!

 

[Dwrgi]

Purps-if you're reading, can you recommend a diarrhoea (sorry girls, ) remedy that I CAN take? The man from Immodium most definitely says 'No'!

 

[flutterbee]

Flutter - Hello!!! Re: Clomid I remember when I took it about 8 years ago (was only 32)- they told me to take a break after 3 months... is your doctor telling you to take for 6 months straight? I really hope it works for you - but TBH I don't know many who have had Clomid work for them at our age...(vs. injectibles) (don't want to bring you down - just help )...So you may want to ask Doc after 3-4 months... Also I wouldn't wait to get your DH's SA done.... better not to waste any time incase it is him..... Sorry don't want to upset you - just want to give advice that may be helpful I REALLY hope you get your BFP soon!

Oh no worries, Dashka! You aren't bringing me down We did not discuss going into six months straight with Clomid. I am only on my 2nd round of it so as we approach each new month we will discuss the next step to follow for me.

 

[chickenchaser]

Hi Ladies I'm still here keeping an eye on you all. Finding it all a bit hard at the moment getting the positive which very quickly turned into a negative didn't help me out. But I din't want to be a stranger.

Take Care all and keeping my fingers crossed for those who are waiting to test XXX

 

[purplelou]

Purps-if you're reading, can you recommend a diarrhoea (sorry girls, ) remedy that I CAN take? The man from Immodium most definitely says 'No'!

I don't think there kis very much that absolutely recommended right now! Make sure you drink loads ...you could try dioralyte (salts and sugars to replace what you are loosing) though...it often helps

Sorry your feeling pooh (no pun intended) hope you feel better soon xxx

 

[Dwrgi]

Sorry your feeling pooh

 

[Lady H]

Sorry your feeling pooh

 

[treegap]

hi again ladies!

sorry for the quick post this morning.... feeling a little better energy wise now... but only 1/2 hr left to go at work! yippee

Fro - that is awful about KD! He needs a good talkin-to... which I'm sure you did.... Hope it gets easier with time. Hang in there.

Pad - you house-wifey you!! so funny... Lady of Leisure - okay that's cool - you enjoy it girl - you deserve it! (wish I was one )

Dwrgi - sorry you are so down today too.... maybe there is something in the air today... So hope you have a blast in Glastonbury (sp?) !!! Sounds like it's the exact thing you need right now! to get your mind off this CRAP! Enjoy hun

Purple & Owl & Lils - what is going on with the TIRED /sleepy thing around the world today?? Hope we all get some nice zzzzzz's tonight!!

Butterly - take your time hun with your decision... we're here for you!

Flutterbee - welcome! Hope AF stays away!

Lils - progesterone sucks!! I was okay when I took it once/day but ever since I started 2X/day about 8 months ago - it has made PMS worse for sure. Don't have much hope though as the symptoms always start 7/8 DPO.... like clockwork... (just intensified this month) You LUSH woman!!! So funny re: vino/alcohol = thinning blood + fruit servings! You are one seriously funny chick Thanks for making me chuckle... as always

Owl - great surprise on the follicles/'cysts" - Good luck girl!

TreeGap - welcome ! If you are doing the OPK strips -you may want to do twice /day (once at like 10-11 am and another around 6-7pm)... I found I never missed it when I started doing it that way... Sometimes the + last for 12 hrs only and sometimes it lasts for days.... Just depends...
Good luck!! And GL with FF too!


Have a great night ladies..... and hope we all have more energy tomorrow (to keep chugging along) ...

Can I do the OPK strips first thing in the morning? I'll be starting work up soon (I'm a teacher) and don't want to do it at school! Also, if the + shows up for several days, does it stop once you've ovulated?

Ugh- thought AF arrived or was about to yesterday, but it was weird spotting which I almost never have. Still isn't here.

Hi TreeGap - I think if you read the instructions - my OPK strips say I have to test after 10am and before 8pm (that is when the urine will have the highest amount)...
What I do is very 'undercover' - I bring the test along with those little bathroom paper cups (I bought a box of 100 or whatever) -you get them at grocery store.... and put them into a little bag (opaque ofcourse) and will pop it under my arm before I go to ladies room and do it in the stall... I am so used to it now... Can you do that on your break (recess / lunch?)

Also - when the test line is AS DARK or DARKER than the other line that means it's positive - anything else is negative - even if it's almost as dark... When it is negative it doesn't mean that you've ovulated - it just means that you will ovulate 12-48 hrs from the LH surge. If you start temping then you will know when you have ov from the temp rise. Using Fertility Friend (FF) really helps ...
GOOD LUCK!

AH! Thank you- that is so helpful. I will try to be covert! Not sure what my schedule will be like, but hopefully I can manage a mid-morning break and then I can do it again when I get home in the late afternoon/evening. Got my thermometer today and will start temping tomorrow am.

Thanks!

 

[Mirium]

Hello everyone,

Dwrgi - all the best!!!

Dashka - all the best regarding your test results!!

Owl - your ovulation scenario is interesting - all the best!! Since we have both been trying for a while after miscarriage, I just thought I'd ask - did you have any complications after your loss? I did, I had an infection. I can probably bet that - that was not the case for you, it's just TTC, being full of unknowns and mystery as usual. Oh how I wish everything was more clear.

Lils - I was about your 911 calling, bring me my cigarette now fellow Flo ridian... ha ha . The intralipids that you take - is it expensive and does insurance pay for it?

Frol - hello, I hope all goes well with KD. I liked that - your donor will be involved in child's life.

Tiger - all the best!!!

Ksluice - all the best!!!

AFM - I am in a strange place. I did not want to remember what cycle day I am on...lol. For the past few days, whenever the thought came to mind, I would push it way. I was not really taking vits & supplements either but I started again 2 days ago. Maybe, after the laparoscopy+hysteroscopy in early Sept. I will feel motivated again. Today though, I thought what if you miss your ovulation, you better check what cycle day you're on so I checked it and today is cycle day 7. All the best to everyone - we need a BFP or two... .

Hello to all - Purple, Grkprn, lady h, bumble, chicken, butterfly, drh, htjp, twinks, nessaw, flutter, bdownmommie, treegap, janey, 2have4kids, flyf, foreveryoung, jules, drs, pad, maddy40, bearlake and anyone I missed -

 

[nessaw]

my boyf lived in llay when we met but we're staying at a friends of his just outside of ruabon.

the dogs had a couple of squirrels over the last few wks so think this is the revenge.she's ok but am sure she'll still go after the next squirrel she sees!

happy friday vx

 

[Dwrgi]

Hi Mirium, and Chickenchaser! Good to see your posts, and that you haven't forgotten us! Hope you're both okay-I like your attitude, Mirium, to be a bit more chilled about everything. It's just not worth getting stressed about, because that gets you nowhere. Love to you both!

Hi Ness-hope you're having a lovely break! Weather is supposed to be fab today, so enjoy your North Walian day. Where is Llay?? xxx

Hi to everyone! Yay, it's the weekend!!!! Hope everybody has something nice planned?

Well, my temps have dipped, on CD26, which is quite early considering that ovulation was on CD16. Could it be the food poisoning (it was the tuna mayonnaise that OH and I both had for lunch! Great. Just what I need, thanks whoever is up there! )? Or could it mean that AF is due? I have no energy whatsoever, but at least the embarrassing pooper problem has gone!!!!!!! (TMI, girls, what can I say????!) I have almost run out of progynova (oestrogen), and am going to get some more from the clinic, but is there any point really, as I'm fully expecting the unpleasant monthly visit. Wish I could hide and pretend I'm not at home! Btw, did a sneaky POAS this morning and it was negative. Yes, I know it's too early.....!

Love to everybody, and Dash, hopes are on you now, lovely!!

 

[nessaw]

hi dwrgi.llay is near wrexham.the weather is fab here.just lying in the garden before going out for lunch then making the trip back home.

have got every single part of me crossed that af stays away from you.vx

 

[Dwrgi]

hi dwrgi.llay is near wrexham.the weather is fab here.just lying in the garden before going out for lunch then making the trip back home.

have got every single part of me crossed that af stays away from you.vx

Ooo, lying in the garden sounds lovely! Bet you can't wait to see your dogs! Thanks for the good luck! It's an all-too-familiar story, isn't it???!

 

[BDownmommie]

[Yes, you're right, it is a complete battle, and people just don't have a clue grr:). I'm sorry that AF arrived and that you and your DH have been fighting. It IS a huge source of conflict and, alas, you'll hit many areas that you will disagree over, so you have to find a way of communicating with each other which doesn't involve a complete break down. I guess you need to find a way that works for you. Crying on the sofa for two days is not good for stress levels, and emotional strength which, as you alluded to, you will need. You need to sit DH down and spell it out to him exactly how this things is going to work, and what you need from him, and he needs from him. Anyway, I'm sure you can work out how to do this.

You DO need to have a 'long term' view of TTC, as, you may be lucky and fall straight away, and you may also be unlucky and it might take longer, if ever (sorry, that is reality. I never thought it would never happen to me, and I'm now facing that prospect. NEVER EVER thought I'd be in this boat). I think the main trick is to carry on with your life as best you can, and not to spend every waking moment thinking about vits, foods to take, exercise to avoid, opks, temps, etc. because that way disaster lies and YOU will go mad. Your life has to go on, and your life with your partner has to go on. That way, you won't resent the 'journey' as much as you've still got a life. You may say, what does she know?, but believe me, I've been there, and through every emotion you can think of, and that's the conclusion that I've come to.

I hope you get your test soon so you can start those meds. And take this time to get back to an even keel with DH (I know how that feels to, as we've been to hell and back with this journey, and know that it has made mine and my partner's relationship much stronger, although he still gets on my nerves from time to time ). Good luck hun, Axx[/QUOTE]

Thank you so much for that message - i literally broke down yesterday at the doctors office because of how the past week has gone. Never in a million years did i ever think i would have to have help to get pregnant - now, thats my sad reality.

Its kinda funny that you wrote this yesterday - DH and i kinda did have that talk yesterday, on the way to go get his blood work done. I was actually quite shocked, he was showered and ready at the front door (shoes on and everything), and out the door - almost eager to get it over with. He didn't see the point in him having to redo these tests. So on the drive we talked - and for the first time, he seemed very interested in the process i was going through with docs, and asked questions about what was upcoming - he actually even read the drug fact sheets - surprising.

It was nice to have him so talkative about the process and what was happening. He didn't apologise / nor did i for the weekend fight - but he did make a big effort, and told me he'd do whatever i needed,

Big hugs from him - and he actually held my hand through the needle process - which he hates! (who doesn't tho) - and since actions speak louder than words - i had a huge smile on my face for the first time ever when getting a needle.

So testing yesterday - US went well, all looks like we're ready to start meds - blood work results should be here in 4 hours (lol) and if no call by 12:30 - then we go ahead with this cycle - woot!!!

 

[purplelou]

Bdown hun I so happythatyouar feeling happier!! Big

Dwrgi I hope that bloody witch stays away from you chick xxxx

 

[purplelou]

Ladies I have to apologise for my offer awful lack of spelling or weird grammar! I most often use an iPad to come on here and it does all kinds of weird things!!

 

[flutterbee]

Ladies I have to apologise for my offer awful lack of spelling or weird grammar! I most often use an iPad to come on here and it does all kinds of weird things!!

Ha! No apologies necessary! I make the absolute worst typos when I am on my phone and Kindle, lol!