TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[nessaw]

so sorry owl.x

good work purps!

 

[smallhelen]

Happy Saturday evening everyone!

Owl - so sorry.

Greenleaf - nasty, nasty witchie. Sorry!

Purplelou and Purplette - YAY!

AFM - getting serious this month. Have now started taking COQ10 thingie wotsit, and Vitamin B complex tablets (yay for neon pee). Also bought some OPK tests, just to make sure that FF is really really right. Onwards.....

Good luck to everyone this week, whatever you're hoping for!

 

[pbl_ge]

Oh, Owl, I'm so sorry!

 

[BabyBean14]

.

 

[Dwrgi]

Hi lovely ladies,
Had my test yesterday and it was Had to hide in the bathroom at work to cry it out I'm pretty devestated. We will have a consult with RE in December to get ready for IVF next year. I know a break will be a good thing so I'll just have lots of and relax...

Lots of love and hugs to all of you

Oh Owl, so sorry to read this. A break sounds like a really good idea, just to recharge your batteries and come up with Plan B. Be very kind to yourself and your DH, lots and lots of love, Axxxx

 

[LilSluz]

Owl - I'm so sorry for the BFN!!! Hey there's been lots of ladies who couldn;t get pregs w/IUI who went onto IVF & wham - twins or onesies! Don't lose hope darlin, that was just 1 procedure that just didn't work for you. Take a nice break (I'll be joining you soon) & 2013 will be your year! (& mine too!)

 

[LilSluz]

Purps - wowsers! Posted more in your journal

Pad - LOL, why do I get the distinct feeling that you always create a ruckus when you walk into a room?

Thanks Never!!!

 

[dashka]

Owl - I'm so sorry hun about the BFN.... you be good to yourself , enjoy the vino, chocolate or whatever gives you comfort....

Purps - whoo hooo... great job hun - wrote in your journal!

Never - thanks for posting for Purps!! hope you are ok too!

Lils - thanks for the Kentucky Derby Pie!!!wow never seen that before???!! Don't think you can get that up here... I hope you find out soon what is going on with your chart.... so frustrating I'm sure... Enjoy your holiday on Monday!!

Hope you ladies are having a good weekend...

 

[LilSluz]

Eeek, so last night at dinner (while I'm STILL waiting at 16DPO for the ), a biz associate's wife (who has 2 kids, one lil baby, btw) talked about how her friend can't conceive. She said "then why don't you stop, I mean everything happens for a reason & maybe you're not meant to have children..." . It took all I had. Don't get me wrong, I do think everything happens for a reason in some grand cosmic scheme & I may not know it now, but that does not translate into quitting every time you have a bit of trouble, FFS! That doesn't apply to anything else in life, including marriage, business, etc, so why the hell would it all of a sudden apply here??? I'll just cough it up to polite ignorance... Kind of like people who have never been in real-pain telling you that you should not take painkillers even though you have bone fragments pushing against your spinal cord...same sh*%, different ignorant, judgmental person who makes you feel like a low-life.


Then today I found out (face-to-face) the wife & great friend, neither of which I've seen in a while got pregs after giving up after 3 yrs. She was 3 mos preg & didn't even know it OK, that would NEVER happen to me - well, post-TTC anyway (she has stress & it delays AF). They are both 40 & I am truly happy for them. Still a bit tough though...


I am wondering what the rules are on giving up. Like, do you have to completely give up all hope for real-real? Or can you give up temporarily or give up but still note when EWCM arrives, BD & hope to miss-AF type of thing? You guys know exactly why I'm asking... I'm trying to cheat & pretend giving up! Hey, whatever works!

Sorry, rant & subsequent attempt at cheating now over...

 

[Dwrgi]

Lils, I don't think that you can EVER give up, not until you have that last period which marks the onset of menopause. I am convinced of it. The only way you can give up is when you are done. Over. Finitto. And accepting that it is over is a tough job. There is no way that I am over, even though in the summer I thought I was, and I KNOW that you are not over.

If your maternal instinct is crying out to be a mother, then until you have a child, by whatever means (minus abduction, as that would be WRONG! ), you are not done.

I suppose that I would take comfort from the two ladies who are 40 and preggers. I am prone to believe what my parents keep telling me, that your body will throw out all its eggs as it prepares for shut down (which hopefully won't be for a while yet) and as sure as eggs are eggs (or as Kerdiffians say, heggs are heggs ) there will be some good ones in there, and I bet you that's what happened to these two. It is a load of bollo$ what is put out there by ignorant gun:) people, that if you relax and not think about it, you'll get pregnant. Like saying that if I didn't think about it, I'd manage to feed myself breakfast or lunch or supper, every day, by some weird kind of osmosis. Nah, don't think so.

Thing is, no matter how pleased you are for them, you can't help but feel, 'Why hasn't that happened to me?' It's only normal to feel like this too. It's what the word bittersweet was invented for, and boy, do we know bittersweet!

As for that biz associate-stoooooopid women. It all boils down to other people's judgements of others, and by saying this, I am judging her so should shut up, but can't we just let people be what they want to be? If they want to have another, so what?!

I have had two completely ignorant comments directed at me during this TTC journey, by my ma and my brother ("Oh I thought you'd given up on the idea" and "Onwards and upwards" respectively! ) People just do NOT get it, and it's their own ignorance that they are demonstrating to the world by their thoughtless, SMUG, comments. Grrrr! It makes me mad. I salute you lovely Lisbeth (moo moo mwoah mwoah dahling) for not snapping her head off, but you are a good person so you kept your thoughts to yourself. For that, you deserve an ocean full of liquid red wine tonight!

You WILL get there, it's just what Missy and I used to say, another month is another month to get even healthier, more enlightened, try different things, and who's to say that one of those things won't work (or that the bar steward good egg will present itself-Get the F%%k on, I say to it!).

Lots and lots of love to you, and if blooming AF is going to show, just blooming show, instead of tormenting you like this! I share your pain lovely, Axxxx

 

[chickenchaser]

Dwrgi, so pleased you haven't given up and Lils hang in there to. I really don't think you can give up (I use to think you could, when I was one of the 'Why are you putting yourself through this' people, I regret deeply whet I have said to people in the past) But you really don't understand until you are where we are right now. Love and hugs to you both. XXX

 

[Dwrgi]

Ness-been thinking about you today lovely . How are you? Hope you're under the duvet with a lovely hot water bottle and lots of chocs beside you (obvs on the bedside table, otherwise they'd melt ).

You'll get lucky again, I just knows it love, Axxxxx

Chicken-thanks for the post! You're very, very lovely, and I can't imagine you upsetting anybody! Big

 

[Dwrgi]

Lils-your temps have gone up!!!! What is going on? COULD you be at all, you know, PG????????

I so hope so, and that it's nothing to do with this cyst. Huge FX for you, Axxx

 

[pbl_ge]

Ugh. I really hate the “everything happens for a reason” sentiments. I mean, really??? You can look around at all the random and horrific suffering (stray bullets, natural disasters, freak accidents, fast-killing infections) and think there’s reason behind all that?!?! And how do you look in the eyes of people who are grieving their loved ones from such random calamities and tell them that it’s happened for a reason?!

Argh. I don’t believe anyone can or should tell anyone when it’s time to quit or give up. And no one should judge perseverance, even if it’s not the choice they would make.

For us, we probably won’t last terribly long before we go the adoption route. I’m simply not a strong enough person to go through several miscarriages and keep trying. We’d probably move to start adoption and NTNP. If they both worked, then we’d have a bounty of on our hands—not a terrible problem to have!

Greenleaf, sorry for AF.

Lils, it looks like you’re a bit late????? Or is that bc of your suspected cyst? I don’t know much about these things.

How are you doing, Ness??

Small, good luck this month! Hopefully upping your ante with CoQ10 and etc. will help! One thing I’ll add is that higher quality B complexes don’t dye pee. I think it pertains to absorption rate. I’m not sure if it matters, but my 5 elements acupuncturist friend has some brand she swears by that accomplishes the good stuff and doesn’t just pass thorough you. Can find out the brand if you want.

How are you feeling, Owl??? Perhaps the bright side of a break is being able to totally indulge over the holidays? Has the shown up yet?

AFM, I THINK I’m 11 dpo today, but not sure. Super excited to get a real AF for the first time since F***ING JULY. In the meantime, the weather here is GORGOUS, so we spent this AM cleaning up the yard and beds for the winter. OH is out there right now prepping a new bed for raspberries!

to all here. So grateful for you all!

 

[dashka]

Butterfly - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! hope you are ok lovely!

Lils - where is that woman that made my Lils feel like shit???!!! Let me at her!!! I can't believe and HATE it when people talk like that !!! WTF do they know!!! and how dare they even suggest that someone stop trying - it is none of their FU$king business I say!!!
I am so glad you are not giving up.... you have been through so much and I know you are really close now my Floridian mama! ....

Dwrgi - you always have the right things to say and we appreciate that so much!! I am so glad you aren't giving up either... WTF did we ever do to deserve this shit??? I have no friggin' idea.... Somebody's cruel sick joke.... and someday I hope we find out. Sorry you can tell I'm not in the best mood today.... You are a fighter lady and I know that you will make one GREAT mama!!!

Pebble - glad to hear that you are expecting your first AF to come soon since July! I hope after this you can get on with things...

hoping everyone is ok and enjoy the rest of your day....

AFM - I don't know WTF is going on with me I am so friggin emotional Have cried at least once a day the past 3 days.... Damn hormones

 

[nessaw]

hi ladies.thanjs for asking.think am ok.had extreme pain yest eve.got the remaining tablets this morning.am cramping but can't feel the pain as on codeine!could have done with the drugs yest.sorry if tmi but havent passed anything since yesterdays pain and now just wondering if that was it.going to see what the night brings.

will post properly to everyone tom but sending u all hugs.vx

 

[dashka]

hi ladies.thanjs for asking.think am ok.had extreme pain yest eve.got the remaining tablets this morning.am cramping but can't feel the pain as on codeine!could have done with the drugs yest.sorry if tmi but havent passed anything since yesterdays pain and now just wondering if that was it.going to see what the night brings.

will post properly to everyone tom but sending u all hugs.vx

Nessaw - hun xoxox

 

[Dwrgi]

hi ladies.thanjs for asking.think am ok.had extreme pain yest eve.got the remaining tablets this morning.am cramping but can't feel the pain as on codeine!could have done with the drugs yest.sorry if tmi but havent passed anything since yesterdays pain and now just wondering if that was it.going to see what the night brings.

will post properly to everyone tom but sending u all hugs.vx

Take it easy lovely, and defo keep up the codeine. Hope that is all, and that you won't have any more to expel. Sod the TMI, we're all in this together!

Try and have a restful night tonight. I assume you're not going into work tomorrow.

Big

 

[nessaw]

Ness-been thinking about you today lovely . How are you? Hope you're under the duvet with a lovely hot water bottle and lots of chocs beside you (obvs on the bedside table, otherwise they'd melt ).

You'll get lucky again, I just knows it love, Axxxxx

:

thanks dwrgus.this codeine is lush-i loves it i do!!

nope no school tom.teacher guilt is well and truly embedded.

 

[nessaw]

hoorah have learnt to quote in a reply!