TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[smallhelen]

Hi there ladies. Hope this week is going ok for everyone.

Ness - you rant away as much as you need, sweetie. If you can't do it here, where can you? And maybe it would be good to reduce the pressure a bit - have a chilled month and see what happens.

Pbl - still feeling weepy? I can't comment, as I just teared up at 'How I Met Your Mother' ?!? And I don't have the excuse of the hooha bullets (Can I just say that I find that description hilarious!)

Twiggers - what kind of mountain range are you trying to draw with your chart??

Maddy - good luck!

Owl - glad you had a good meeting, and have a plan. It's always good to have a plan.

Hello to everyone else.

AFM - it's the school holidays, and I'm doing a major house-clean, a couple of rooms each day. I just have our bedroom and en-suite to do now, but that can wait until tomorrow. Then next week I'll break out the paintbrushes and decorate the spare room. Nesting??? Me???

 

[dashka]

just a quick hello ladies....
hard to come on here but I miss you guys and will be lurking now and then...

Owl - glad your app't went well and you have a plan

Maddy and Doorbell hope your IVF goes smoothly!

Ness - I'm sorry about AF hun....

and everyone who is struggling and is down - sending huge hugs your way and thank you everyone for all the support... taking it day by day....

 

[BabyBean14]

Delete

 

[dashka]

Re-posting what I put in my journal today -

So I’ve come to a realization that I just can’t come on BnB – it’s just when I seem to be feeling a bit better I come and take a peek and it just brings back all the feelings and for the rest of the day and night and next morning I am just so sad – have been crying tons in the last 24 hours again.

As much as I want to come on here and check up on everyone to make sure they’re okay – it’s so much more painful this time around because last IVF failure I wasn’t 100% sure that it was the end of the road, and this time I am sure. I kind of feel forced to convince myself of that just to keep my sanity and health as I can’t take any more of this torture. Coming on BnB – I do feel better for the moment, but then it just opens up something inside me that stays with me and I start to downward spiral. I know it’s only been a week, but I really feel like I’m falling deeper into a rut right now and just don’t even want to plan stuff or anything…which I know makes it worse.

So I have to cut myself off (as much as I don’t want to)…. I may lurk now and then but can’t say for sure.

Take care my beautiful ladies….will be sending you ALL hopes and prayers


xoxo

 

[purplelou]

Apologies for the me post...

Three things I have mini ranted about 1. Only 2 more goes to get pregnant before due date. 2. I now won't have a baby til 2014 at the earliest. 3. Unlikely to have a baby before being 38.

The boyf thinks I shd get counselling about the miscarriage before we think about. ivf. His words were I need to let it go. I personally agree with the counselling but think its normal to want to try and be utd before ur baby was due. I also realise that puts a lot of pressure on. Pllus all the extra hormones haven't helped. I still haven't got my cd 21 bloods back due to the bank hoiday. Not that it matters anymore.

Did anyone have or does anyone know where I can find out about counselling in the uk?

Also am thinking of not using the cbfm this month. Not counting days which is what my fs recommended to do once we knew the clomid was working. The month I got pg I didn't do anything other than take folic acid cos I didn't think I od at the time. Can I drop all the extra things without feeling guilty at not throwing everything at it????

Again sorry for the long post but needed to get it out and get some advice.xx

Hi Ness, (I cant stay away )
never apologise for a 'me' post

you can be referred to counselling through your GP or this site: counselling
but actually what I wanted to say was...you dont have to "let go" of your mc if you dont feel its time. I will never forget mine - Im sure she wont mind me saying so, but Neversaynever hasnt "let go" of hers either. I will remember the date forever and always feel sad about it. it gets easier over time - but Im guessing for lots of people it never goes away. I did manage to get utd before my due date, but I still mourned on my due date.
massive lovely

and I would say yes - as long as you are taking the folic acid (which is the vital one) dont feel huilty about not doing the other things

 

[LilSluz]

Hi ladies -

Sorry I have been a bit absent but trying to keep up! have had many family emergencies lately (like 5 in the last month) & my own scary news so just trying to hang in there. Just a few comments from what I can remember:

Dashka - I FULLY support you not coming onto BNB. As you know, I recommended staying away for a bit, even though I love "seeing your pretty face" on here & love your posts & your insight on everything. Its truly a loss to us all, but its "thinking about us" & not thinking about you which must always come first, especially w/something as life altering as this & especially w/the blow you have been dealt recently. Thinking of you only, I would not come on for quite a while. Your bestest friends you are friends with on FB so we can keep in touch & send lots of msgs & such there & not talk TTC or babies at all. I just have your feelings in mind here, as if I only cared about myself I'd say "please don't go". its a terrible loss to me personally, but i care more about your well-being & the only way you are going to be able to come to peace with all of this is if you just take a sabbatical for a bit - a long bit if needed. Time to think of YOU first & your beautiful family & plan some things to look forward to. Always have something to look forward to hun & take it just 1 day at a time. I can't imagine how you feel & big, gigantic

Chicken -

Spoiler

I am with you in not going in bc I know yo uare worried about saving every penny you can. I've been told on several occasions that you can't do anything about the bleeding - if its a mc, then there is absolutely nothing they can do to stop it. Its more for you to know "what's going on" for your own sanity so you have to weigh that against the monetary cost & decide what you can live with. If its just a matter of waiting a few days, then by all means I think you made the right decision. AND may I add that I belong to PARL (preg after recurring losses) & SO MANY women there have had 1st tri bleeds, I can't count them all! Some bled for 2 weeks straight - bright red. They all went into the Dr's, but all they did was reassure them that baby is fine & in 9/10 cases baby was just perfect! And they are all 16+ weeks today. In the case of any where it was a mc, there was nothing Dr could do but confirm that. But we often know when it is a mc - its heavy, cramping & like a full-on heavy, heavy prd & clotty. Yours doesn't sound anything like that so it could be that blood that gets trapped in a pocket up there for whatever reason. But PLEASE come back on & update us as to how yo are doing - you are in my thoughts & prayers!!!

Maddy - getting excited for your IVF We are DEFO due for BFP's on here - natural, IVF, IUI, SMEP, or whatever the method!

Pebble -I have only had the hooha gel inserts & they didn't make me emotional, they just mimicked EVERY preg symptom (& thus, were torturous in that way for the 1st 2 months! ). But its a hormone, so why not? Or maybe it was just a bad day? Or maybe there's another reason???

Owl - bring on summer IVF chic! Just try to remember the odds w/IVF. I think they are about 25-30% so remember that 1 round not working is actually the NORM. It often takes 2-3 for a very normal, healthy person to get a BFP. It doesn't mean all hope is lost, chic, just that it may require some patience. But I am w/you in getting the hysteroscopy while waiting. Its nice bc you go in once, they put you in twilight, you wake up 1 minute later & you are all fixed or you are declared a perfect ute girl - either way its all a good outcome! I had a septum removed. BUT beware to do it soon if you want FET in summer bc I was told (after the fact) that I should have waited 8wks before TTC after my septum removal. My Dr said it was fine to TTC rt away, I did a few days after, got BFP & mc #4... (so just try to do soon if you can). The smartest people let other people make all the mistakes.

Ness - you can strive for a BFP pre Due date if that makes you feel better chic, of course! But, if it doesn't happen, please know that there's tons of us out there who have surpassed many EDD's & still survived & still got our eventual sticky BFP. So, I just ask not to be hard on yourself "if" it doesn't happen. Counselling is always good in my book.

Kismet - YAY for better than you thought test results!? Thats a nice surprise. And GREAT to have a plan like that - it really does make you feel better.

Doorbell - are you in the midst of your IVF cycle now?

What ever happened to JennyC too?

Hello to Dwrgi, Purps, DrH, BF, Pad, helen, Blue, Twig, & everybody else - my mind isn't so great these days!

AFM -

Spoiler

I have been diagnosed w/Stage IV (Total) Placenta Previa. Its a serious complication that can result in hemorrhaging, some ER trips & preterm delivery for a good 50% or so ladies who have it. I was devastated at first but I have heard many success stories so I will just be thankful that I am very close to a hospital & that my delivery hospital (12mins away) has an NICU to treat preemies. I just hope & pray that we make it for 5 more weeks so she has a chance to survive. So I'm taking it 1 milestone at a time & praying she hangs in there as long as possible & preparing for a potential early baby. I am on modified bed rest, no , no exercise except light walking, no lifting & no flying (so I had to cancel my baby shower in MD). But all I really care about is her getting here safely so I'm doing whatever is necessary...

 

[doorbell]

Lils

Spoiler

How worrying for you. Gosh, it never rains and all that. I will keep lil flo in my prayers and will her to stay right where she is till the time is right.

Owl, sounds like your doc has a good plan. Dont you just love the proactive doctors out there.

Ness, I think the government are trying to make couselling more available through the NHS but you need a referral through your GP to get it. See the link:
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/counselling/Pages/Introduction.aspx
Sorry if I'm repeating something someone else has already said, I cant remember

Chicken

Spoiler

hoping nugget is doing just fine

Pebble, hope the bullets are not still making you I cant remember whether I got weepy on them but I dont think so.

Maddy, any update? Where abouts are you in your cycle?

Special for Dash and any one else that needs them.

AFM, still on BCP , getting my drugs tomorrow for IVF cycle. Time wise I think I'm looking around the end of the month for egg collection. I need to try to eat more healthy, I'm a demon for sweet things

 

[bunhead]

Hi all,
I'm new to 'foruming' but sharing has to better than dealing with it on my own. Not on my own, but husband can't reeealllly understand 100%. I'm almost 38 and we've been TTC for two years, but with travel misses etc it's closer to a year of real trying. Two IUIs w/Clomid and last cycle only w/Clomid as we are changing Drs this month. All tests come back as fine, so it's a mystery. Acupuncture for the last six months has really sorted my cycle out and ov has been CD15 like clockwork for three months. Still nothing. CD2 today. I don't know if this is all TMI or not? Let me know if I'm doing this wrong-I don't know all the codes etc. I love hearing positive stories as well as learning new things and meeting new people. So, that's me. Hi.

 

[nessaw]

Dear dashka. We all understand and will miss you but you need to do what you have to do to help you through this. Please take care of yourself and thank you for all your kind words. Big hugs.xxx

 

[nessaw]

Welcome bunhead. You've def come to the right place.

Thank you ladies for ur advice and I will have a look at those websites. Think I need to do something.

Have decided to stick with the supplements this month but am not using the cbfm and obsessing about what cd or dpo it is. The last two months on clomid the pressure has built up in the pelvic region and gone the day after my second peak on the cbfm so feel pretty certain I will know when I've ovulated. Just going to dtd every other day from cd 8 ish.

Hoping that the house move will get to exchange soon to take my mind off it.

I saw a friend today who had 3 mc before her first and she told me about her friend who just had her second at 51! Her first she had at 50!!

 

[Butterfly67]

Welcome bunhead (although my autocorrect changed it to but head ) sorry you have had no luck so far but good all the tests are clear

Ness, hope you get to exchange soon as that is one thing for sure that can take your mind off things And wow, 50 and 51, there is hope for me yet do you know if she used ivf? I would guess so.

Chicken, hope you are ok, I guess you are travelling home :wave:

Doorbell, good luck with starting the ivf

Lils to you lady

 

[BabyBean14]

Dash: I agree with Lils that if I were to think of me first, I'd say "please don't leave!" But I totally understand why you need to go. I'll miss seeing you around here, though!

 

[BabyBean14]

.

 

[Blueberri]

Liz - Those boots look nice!!!

 

[StirrupQueen]

Hi bunhead I too am new to posting on these forums and am in similar situation to you. Good luck ttc and hopefully we'll all be in the pregnancy forums soon

 

[doorbell]

Welcome bunhead and stirrup queen, I'm pretty new here too.

Whatever your questions are, I would guess one of the ladies on here will be able to help, they are a fabulous font of knowledge Good luck, hope your stay is short and sweet

Ness, hope your house move speeds up, it does take your mind off things so hope it comes round quickly for you.

Always good to treat ourselves now and again Kismet, we're worth it

 

[nessaw]

Welcomestirrup queen.

Nice shopping kismet. I indulged in a clutch bag yesterday for the wedding we're going to this weekend even tho I have a nearly identical one at home! Just can't stopmyself!

Bf not sure if it was ivf. My friend didn't say one way or the other.

Happy friday!x

 

[Neversaynever]

Apologies for the me post...

Three things I have mini ranted about 1. Only 2 more goes to get pregnant before due date. 2. I now won't have a baby til 2014 at the earliest. 3. Unlikely to have a baby before being 38.

The boyf thinks I shd get counselling about the miscarriage before we think about. ivf. His words were I need to let it go. I personally agree with the counselling but think its normal to want to try and be utd before ur baby was due. I also realise that puts a lot of pressure on. Pllus all the extra hormones haven't helped. I still haven't got my cd 21 bloods back due to the bank hoiday. Not that it matters anymore.

Did anyone have or does anyone know where I can find out about counselling in the uk?

Also am thinking of not using the cbfm this month. Not counting days which is what my fs recommended to do once we knew the clomid was working. The month I got pg I didn't do anything other than take folic acid cos I didn't think I od at the time. Can I drop all the extra things without feeling guilty at not throwing everything at it????

Again sorry for the long post but needed to get it out and get some advice.xx

Hi Ness, (I cant stay away )
never apologise for a 'me' post

you can be referred to counselling through your GP or this site: counselling
but actually what I wanted to say was...you dont have to "let go" of your mc if you dont feel its time. I will never forget mine - Im sure she wont mind me saying so, but Neversaynever hasnt "let go" of hers either. I will remember the date forever and always feel sad about it. it gets easier over time - but Im guessing for lots of people it never goes away. I did manage to get utd before my due date, but I still mourned on my due date.
massive lovely

and I would say yes - as long as you are taking the folic acid (which is the vital one) dont feel huilty about not doing the other things

Haven't been on here for a while but popped in and saw this and replied in the spoiler....

Spoiler

Yes...deffo keep taking the FA regardless

It's all totally normal to feel this way...I thought I had it covered when I got pregnant the second time...I should have been 14 weeks when my first EDD came. Instead I was grieving an 11 week loss as well as my first EDD. To this day...I struggle with all of my losses. I am like Lou...I know the dates of BFP, EDD and loss for all three of them.

Does it get easier? Sometimes it feels that way...but again it only takes something little to side swipe you off your feet.

As for counselling...there's not much about that specialises in MC unfortunately...was something my DH insisted I looked in to due to my emotional state and honestly...didn't really do anything for me my therapy was my journal on here.

If you did want to do the counselling route (I think you're in the UK?!) contact the MC association and they should tell you if there's any support groups in your area. I went to one of those once...still in touch with the two girls I met there too.

Feel free to PM me if you want to ask anything

XxX

Love, and whatever's

XxX

 

[LilSluz]

Welcome Bun & Stirrup! Hope you both get answers soon!

Kismet - ooh la la, where did you get those boots, love em!

BF -

Doorbell - Thank you! DRRRUUUGGGSSS!!!! It will be here before you know it!!

TGIF/TGIFF & TFIF!!!!

 

[twiggers]

x