TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[chickenchaser]

Thanks for your support ladies, I have spoken to work and they are really understanding telling me to take the rest of the week off and see how I am next week. I've spent the day with my BFF and she is the best. I'm still in pain which is worse when I pee so we also think I have an infection, so I will need to visit my GP tomorrow. Otherwise I'm doing OK for now and will just take each day as it comes.
Lils I have already had a very large glass of wine and yes even though I would give up everything to have nugget back it did taste good and made things a little better.

 

[LilSluz]

Aw, honey, I'm so glad you are off the rest of the week. Really, you'd be surprised how feelings may come out of the blue just when you think you are handling things like a champ. I'm so glad your BFF gave you so much comfort. Big loves

P.S. - if you want to PM me I'll give your info to Dash. (& me if you don't mind, but if you do I'd understand! )

 

[purplelou]

oh chicken - I am so sorry for your loss!
massive loves
I had hoped it wasNot a mc and just some spotting!
you should take some time and recover before dashing back to work or anything else.
your body and soul needs some time!
treat yourself to nice things, rest recover and dont worry about anything else.
I know it doesnt help at all right now, but most women who do have a mc go on to have a normal healthy pregnancy next time

xxxxx

 

[pbl_ge]

Padbrat, you have news, too, right???? Lils outed you on her journal.

CC--
Let us know if you need anything. Feel free to come on here and rant or ask questions, or whatever. BnB was a real life saver for me, so I like to pay it forward.

 

[nessaw]

Chicken I did the same when I got back from the first scan. I had a glass of vino and it helped a little with the realisation. Am glad ur back safely and you've had ur bf with u today. I stayed off work for about ten days. That included waiting for the second scan and the medical management. By the end I just wanted to get back to 'normal'. The hardest bit was seeing people for the first time. Personally I wanted people at work to know so I didn't have to pretend. I went in the afternoon before I started back to getit over with. Please let me know if there's anything I can answer/help with.xx

 

[Greenleaf]

CC: so sorry to hear about your loss Lots of and please take care of yourself. Rest well and may you be blessed with a rainbow baby soon!

 

[doorbell]

So sorry chicken. Be good to yourself.

 

[Dwrgi]

Thanks for your support ladies, I have spoken to work and they are really understanding telling me to take the rest of the week off and see how I am next week. I've spent the day with my BFF and she is the best. I'm still in pain which is worse when I pee so we also think I have an infection, so I will need to visit my GP tomorrow. Otherwise I'm doing OK for now and will just take each day as it comes.
Lils I have already had a very large glass of wine and yes even though I would give up everything to have nugget back it did taste good and made things a little better.

Hello lovely! Glad that your BFF was there to support you; times like these we find out who our true friends are.

I'm glad that work is being supportive and understanding; takes some pressure off you.

Sad that you have an infection-sounds like you have cystitis. I had that after my mc too-you need to get some cymalon or something similar from the supermarket, although defo get it checked out with your doctors too! Lots of cranberry juice (and chocolate too! I'm sure I read that is good for cystitis!!! ).

Big to you lovely,

 

[Dwrgi]

Right, I am here with my official Administrator hat on, so no offence meant, okay?

This thread was orginally designed and created to bring ladies over 35 together, to share their experiences of TTC; as it says on the opening page, we have issues that are unique to our age.

I think there are lots of threads on BnB that cater for all sorts of issues, ages, etc. If you feel that you need support or want to join a community of women for support, then please search for a more appropriate thread than this one. Thanks!

There. Admin hat off now; normal services will be resumed anon!

 

[chickenchaser]

Sorry if I have caused any upset, if you would like my posts removed just say, I will not take offence.

 

[pbl_ge]

I'm guessing a post from someone else precipitated that response from Dwrgi. It also appears to have been removed. Chicken, not sure what happened, but I am sure it had nothing to do with you.

 

[Dwrgi]

Sorry if I have caused any upset, if you would like my posts removed just say, I will not take offence.

Chicken-silly billy! It's not your post that caused me to write this-you are over 35 and it says so clearly in your spoiler. Please don't take it personally. I wanted to write what I did before I wrote to you, but didn't want to include a 'ticking off' in the same post to you, so wrote it separately.

Big lovely; I hope the post didn't add to your distress.

 

[chickenchaser]

Its OK hun I have had a PM to explain. I had missed the post that you were talking about (I haven't been reading the tread properly the last couple of days) I thought talking about the MC was causing distress to some of you (and if it is please say or if anyone would like it in a spoiler I will always oblige)

The support I have received from this thread not only over the last 2 weeks but through out our journey has kept me going and I wouldn't know what to do without you ladies. I have some wonderful friend and a fantastic family but it is you guys that I can talk to openly. I long to talk to my big sister about what has happened but as she didn't even know I was pregnant (I had planned to surprise her on her birthday) how do I even start that conversation. And poor DH is struggling with his own grief. Don't get me wrong he has been fantastic but seeing me hurting is only making it worse for him, he wanted this so much. I need to talk about this but don't feel comfortable anywhere else but please say if it is upsetting anyone and I will find somewhere else.

 

[Dwrgi]

Its OK hun I have had a PM to explain. I had missed the post that you were talking about (I haven't been reading the tread properly the last couple of days) I thought talking about the MC was causing distress to some of you (and if it is please say or if anyone would like it in a spoiler I will always oblige)

The support I have received from this thread not only over the last 2 weeks but through out our journey has kept me going and I wouldn't know what to do without you ladies. I have some wonderful friend and a fantastic family but it is you guys that I can talk to openly. I long to talk to my big sister about what has happened but as she didn't even know I was pregnant (I had planned to surprise her on her birthday) how do I even start that conversation. And poor DH is struggling with his own grief. Don't get me wrong he has been fantastic but seeing me hurting is only making it worse for him, he wanted this so much. I need to talk about this but don't feel comfortable anywhere else but please say if it is upsetting anyone and I will find somewhere else.

Oh bless you lovely. No, I certainly don't mind you writing about your mc, and I am so pleased that you are finding it useful to do so. Would it be better in a spoiler? IDK, and I don't really mind whether it is or no. But, from my experience, an mc IS almost an integral part of TTC over 35 so here's the place for you.

I'm so sorry that your sister didn't know, but a story starts with one word, a journey of a 1000 miles starts with one step. Take a deep breath and go for it. Am also so sad to hear about how sad your DH is, although of course I can understand why. Our men want this as much as we do, except they don't say they do very often, so we often think it is a lone crusade, but it is not, obviously.

I am here for you lovely, if you need to PM me or whatever; and I am 100% certain that everybody on here wants to support you too, so use us and abuse us!!! Whatever you need to do, or say, or write, just to feel a little bit better.

Big

 

[Blueberri]

Dwrgi, I'm sorry that I'm younger then you. When I first found this thread, I came to check on some people that I stalk. But now my only intention is making sure you all are really ok. I hope that makes sense to you.

 

[pbl_ge]

Its OK hun I have had a PM to explain. I had missed the post that you were talking about (I haven't been reading the tread properly the last couple of days) I thought talking about the MC was causing distress to some of you (and if it is please say or if anyone would like it in a spoiler I will always oblige)

The support I have received from this thread not only over the last 2 weeks but through out our journey has kept me going and I wouldn't know what to do without you ladies. I have some wonderful friend and a fantastic family but it is you guys that I can talk to openly. I long to talk to my big sister about what has happened but as she didn't even know I was pregnant (I had planned to surprise her on her birthday) how do I even start that conversation. And poor DH is struggling with his own grief. Don't get me wrong he has been fantastic but seeing me hurting is only making it worse for him, he wanted this so much. I need to talk about this but don't feel comfortable anywhere else but please say if it is upsetting anyone and I will find somewhere else.

Chicken, I wouldn't ruffle your feathers about this at all. I don't think you need a spoiler for m/c posts, but you can use them wherever you like. And I don't think you need to worry about your posts being upsetting--this is EXACTLY what this thread is here for! I can only imagine the pain you're feeling right now, so you need a place to let it out so you can heal, and THIS IS THAT PLACE! This thread, and the BnB ladies in general, are the only reason I can still fake sanity after the past year, so I totally understand where you're coming from.

As for your sister, I think you should tell her. I only told a few people in person about mine, but I've been so glad to know that some other non-virtual people share the burden of my secret.

Men and m/cs can be tough. Some men take it really hard, but try to bottle up the grief because they want to be strong for their partners. Some men, like my darling OH, seem totally unfazed because it was all so "abstract" in the early phases. (It was actually pretty annoying at the time, but he is what he is.) Your OH seems like such a sensitive bloke that he may need support, and he does not have BnB ladies.

Big hugs to you, as always.

 

[chickenchaser]

I don't know how to help him, and he doesn't have anyone else to talk to...

 

[Blueberri]

chicken - lots of and for you. is there a miscarriage support group in Derbyshire that you can go to as a couple? that might help him cope. but just know I'm not trying to suggest anything

 

[Wobbles]

Right, I am here with my official Administrator hat on, so no offence meant, okay?

This thread was orginally designed and created to bring ladies over 35 together, to share their experiences of TTC; as it says on the opening page, we have issues that are unique to our age.

I think there are lots of threads on BnB that cater for all sorts of issues, ages, etc. If you feel that you need support or want to join a community of women for support, then please search for a more appropriate thread than this one. Thanks!

There. Admin hat off now; normal services will be resumed anon!

Please DO NOT refer to yourself as an official or admin in the future. You are simply the original author of the opening post taken over from someone else who opened it for others to use.

 

[Butterfly67]

Hmm, wobbles I'm a bit shocked at your response to dwrgi's post I have to say. Dwrgi was asked to look after this thread and it was nice if her to do so. This is a retreat for over 35s ttc their first and it can be hard on us sometimes if others venture on who are either under 35 or who have children already and I feel that she was protecting our sanctuary. Sorry but I think your post was very harsh and could have been more sensitive.

Chicken please vent away hon we are all here to support you