TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[Butterfly67]

Blueberri, it is great that you support lots of people in their journals but I for one think that this is a place for only over 35s to post. I apologise if this upsets you

 

[nessaw]

Chicken no one in my family knew and I was too upset to tell them. My boyf told my mum and dad and they told my brothers. I still didn't talk to anyone else for quite a few days but once I got the first conversation over with it did become 'easier'. I worry a lot about oh's when it comes to mc. My boyf has spent the last 6 months propping me up and I have to say that only every now and then I think to check how he is doing. He doesn't like to talk about it as he doesn't like seeing me upset. I think the time we spent together between the mc and going back to work is really important. Sorry have rambled on a bit but hope it helps.x

 

[purplelou]

dear Chicken-
I read this when I had my mc because I worried about my lovely dh too. maybe it will help yours?
thinking of you lovely.
big big

Men and MC

 

[nessaw]

Purps thank you. I know it wasn't for me but am going to print that off for my boyf.x

 

[chickenchaser]

Thanks purps I have will pass it on to him, I have also told him about the loss thread and he wants to read that too.

 

[purplelou]

ness - glad to help.
its such a difficult time isnt it?? I think our men try and support us and people do seem to forget about them!
I know I had loads of hugs from people (not that I told many) but noone ever asked my lovely dh if he was ok.

 

[purplelou]

chicken - bless him (and you darling) there is a mens area i think on bnb (near the bottom - at least I think there is) - but Im not sure what they chat about in there
big loves xx

 

[Wobbles]

Hmm, wobbles I'm a bit shocked at your response to dwrgi's post I have to say. Dwrgi was asked to look after this thread and it was nice if her to do so. This is a retreat for over 35s ttc their first and it can be hard on us sometimes if others venture on who are either under 35 or who have children already and I feel that she was protecting our sanctuary. Sorry but I think your post was very harsh and could have been more sensitive.

Chicken please vent away hon we are all here to support you

I am fully aware what the thread is about, I can read.

I can live with you being shocked. Members may NOT act as an official admin role when they are not. I don't see where sensitivity comes into it, I don't tip toe round the obvious. That is final. It's almost a duplicate of my very own words when dealing with forum issues.

Members may approach situations as members and if you feel there is an issue that needs an admin/mod presence, report it.

 

[Butterfly67]

Wow. Sorry I spoke.

 

[Dwrgi]

Hmm, wobbles I'm a bit shocked at your response to dwrgi's post I have to say. Dwrgi was asked to look after this thread and it was nice if her to do so. This is a retreat for over 35s ttc their first and it can be hard on us sometimes if others venture on who are either under 35 or who have children already and I feel that she was protecting our sanctuary. Sorry but I think your post was very harsh and could have been more sensitive.

Chicken please vent away hon we are all here to support you

I am fully aware what the thread is about, I can read.

I can live with you being shocked. Members may NOT act as an official admin role when they are not. I don't see where sensitivity comes into it, I don't tip toe round the obvious. That is final. It's almost a duplicate of my very own words when dealing with forum issues.

Members may approach situations as members and if you feel there is an issue that needs an admin/mod presence, report it.

Wobbles-I do not know you and nor do I want to, judging by the tone and content of the TWO posts that you have added to this site today. I used the term 'Administrator' for the lack of another term for my role, as somebody who did take the thread over; obviously had I known that my official title in 'Baby and Bump' thread terms was 'author' I would have used that.

However, this has become something completely different. Every single woman who writes on this thread, always acts with tact and diplomacy and this is something that we have all safeguarded and all been proud about. We look out for each other, and NEVER go out of our way to use a tone that is inappropriate or use words that are unduly harsh. Until today when both of your posts have been rude, insensitive and completely tactless. How on earth you became an administrator with such an inability to deal with something so, quite frankly, trivial (the semantic use of "Administrator" not "Author") is beyond me, and you certainly do not reflect the ethos of what this thread has become for so many people.

I am quite frankly shocked and completely disgusted to your responses to me and Butterfly. I would have hoped for better.

 

[Dwrgi]

Chicken, I apologise for the other nonsense that is taking place here at the moment, when you are my priority and I'm sure that others would agree with that too.

I think Purple has posted some really good advice and hopefully this will help your DH. I am thinking of you lovely, and sending loads and loads of

 

[chickenchaser]

Yet again I want to say thank you for all the support on this thread.

As for the other comments on the thread, Wobbles I understand your protection of your title of administrator but I truly believe that the words Dwrgi used were totally innocent and not meant to deceive people into thinking she is something she isn't. I'm going through a really hard time right now and wouldn't have got through if it wasn't for this very special and support thread. And just as you are protective of your title we are protective of our supportive and loving thread. We ensure that this thread has no negative or malice within it, only positive support and TLC.
I would please urge everyone to let this go, partly for selfish reasons, I need the support right now and don't want the negative feelings that are coming through but also for the other ladies here, it is our sanctuary and that is what Dwrgi was trying to protect. We very much appreciate the comments and support from others within our journals and other treads but our situations are very much different from those who are much younger or who already have children. And many of these posters really don't understand how we are feeling, THAT and only that is the reason why the request was made, not to upset, alienate, or offend.

Please let our thread return to the peaceful retreat I need right now.

 

[tundralife2]

Hi ladies, I started to join this thread becuase I am going through a really rough time right now with ttc conceive but for some reason I decided I would go back a few threads and see what was going on with everyone first. Glad I did. Whew...there seems to be a ton of tension on here and that is so sad. I will just say that I am 40 years old this year in August and I have been ttc with my husband for 2 years. That's why I wanted to join because I saw the over 35ttc and it caught my attention. I wanted to join in and share what others like me may be going thru. I wanted to also say that I do have 2 children who are 13 and 10 and I had to have 3 surgeries before I conceived them and fertility treatment and it wasn't easy and then ended up in a divorce with someone I thought would be married to me forever. I met my 2nd husband who has no children and we are active duty miltary. Making sacrifices daily for this country and we can't even make a baby together. We can't get specialty treatment because we are limited to base military doctors so it's nice to see what other people try and what they have tried that may work. I do understand how someone's feelings could get hurt at the younger generation having kids or ttc issues because we prolly feel they have plenty of time but we are limited with our eggs and maturity of egg issues or other hormone problems, the list could go on--i'm sure. It does not count them out of the heartache of wanting something so badly that you can't control. I feel that it's only natural that a woman should produce but sometimes we just can't and it's not our fault but others do not see that. They are careless in what they say to us and do not consider our feelings and think WOW WHEN WILL SHE EVER GET PREGNANT OR SHE'S TOO OLD. How does that make you feel? Awful.

I am blessed already but I do understand the pain of what you other ladies are going through with not being able to conceive or the road you are on because I have been there and I am going through it right now as well. All i want is to bless my husband with a child because he was a true blessing to me and my boys when they needed a dad. I see Nessaw is on this thread, I'll be seeing you back on the clomid thread we are on together. I am sorry for the things I read that you went through because it wasn't something that was shared on the other thread that I read.

The rest of you ladies have a wonderful day and good luck and FXD for you all that it will happen.

 

[Wobbles]

I am not here for you to challenge me. I stand by what I said and I also spoke directly to (by quoting) the person it concerned so please could others refrain from interfering in the future. Just because you don't understand why this would be corrected (with good reason) doesn't mean you're right I'm wrong.

Move along or the thread will be closed without further warning.

 

[chickenchaser]

Thanks for the support and understanding. No need to close the thread I'm off.

 

[Fbs]

Thanks for the support and understanding. No need to close the thread I'm off.

Just been catching up on this thread, and just wanted to add that is is such a shame for you and your other half. I hope that you continue to use this forum as I think for the small amount of time I have been on here its a nice place. I am a member of another forum (not TTC related at all) and it has been a huge help to me for many things.

I hope this doesn't come across as insincere as obviously I am new here and secondly I do not know the full story .

 

[nessaw]

Chicken please don't go anywhere.

Fbs welcome back.

Hi tundra.

On a purely selfish note, I don't think I'd be able to cope without this wonderful thread.

As there's no such thing
as tmi on this thread I want to ask what people do with preseed/conceive plus? Apart from the obvious of getting it to the intended place (!) do u use it whilst dtd pre ov to get it in placeready or just when +opk? Am getting some conceive plus tom in readiness for prob ov this weekend.

Huge big hugs to everyone.xx

 

[Maddy40]

Wow, I go off for a good night's sleep on the other side of the world from the rest of you and when I come back

Chicken hun, I am sorry DH is having such a hard time . I know that mine did too, and didn't feel like there was much support out there for him. It actually made my own grief worse because I felt like I wasn't able to 100% be there for him while I was so upset Be really really gentle with yourselves xxxx

Ness, I've found the Preseed very handy recently as the Lucrin has caused ho-hum, lubrication 'issues' So we've been using it for non-TTC and it does the job brilliantly, if I do say so myself

Dwrgi, we need a little Superwoman smilie for you

BF, I looooove Butterfly because she lovessss her friends

FBS and Tundra hi please stick around & contribute, we're really very normal Except of course we LOVE emoticons, as you can no doubt tell from this post. The nature of TTC as an over 35 (and for many of us, 40+) I think is somewhat different because we are often dealing with long-term TTC issues and have long-established lives and careers. It's a fascinating thread full of brilliant people


AFM well oh my gosh, I am FINALLY starting to stim today. My GonalF dose is TEN TIMES what I was having for IUI. Holey cow. But yay!!! So excited to finally get this IVF show on the road.

 

[Lady H]

Please....nobody go anywhere! It's a fresh day, lets start back where we always are with tonnes of love and support for everyone. I'd not have made it this far without this thread so we can't loose it, it's too good.

Ness I used Preseed and I think it helped with any dryness. I had virtually no cm the month we conceived but I did use Preseed the first day of the three we DTD when I think we conceived. So we used it the day before I ovulated I think. My chart is still on the front page of my journal (link in signature) it was the Saturday we used it.

Bf, Dwrgi big hugs ladies, I love you both dearly.

Chicken thinking of you and your DH at this most difficult time. Xx

Tundra you've had such a difficult time with ttc, I really pray for you that you can bless your DH with a child

Maddy yay exciting that you have started but wow, 10 times more dose. good luck Hun,

Hi everyone else, hope you are all well

 

[Dwrgi]

Thanks for the support and understanding. No need to close the thread I'm off.

Chicken-come on over to my thread if you like. This ain't no place of support and understanding AT THE MOMENT.

To you, big