TTC 1st child 35+ (Please spoiler any PG news/announcements).

[LilSluz]

OMG, I just go away for a couple of days & WWIII seems to have happened.

Yes, let's please keep this thread about loving, caring, helping & nurturing each other & let's just forget everything else. We can never control who lurks & reads as its a public thread, but I agree posts should be respectfully limited to those who are TTC#1 & who are 35 or over. Otherwise it ends up violating the purpose of the thread & some ladies may no longer feel comfortable to post certain things.

That being said, IMHO mc's & IVF are entirely related to our issues of TTC & 35+ as we are prone to having/needing those due to our ages & lack of prior children. I think it helps to discuss it openly, but perhaps others think not so please speak up? The thing is we can't possibly please all of us 100% of the time, we all have very different issues we are facing or dealing with (or don't even know what they are), & we are all hormonal women & sometimes it just depends on what day it is w/us! But that being said anyone can spoiler what they want if they feel like it, I don't care - spoil away! Its just that as a rule I don't "think" things have to be spoilered unless its BFP/pregs stuff (but somebody correct me if I'm wrong or not covering everything).

I think the only question that was ever "iffy" was about preggos? We decided a while back that being pregnant does not mean you have #1 yet, unfortunately & I've personally seen people go all the way up to 38wks (considered full term) & not bring home a live baby. So the rule was decided that anyone who was preggers just had to be very sensitive & spoiler everything & even then, maybe try to limit it. But, we have new ladies in here constantly, so please just speak up if this needs to change? I know Dwrgi's post was directed elsewhere, but I figured while we were on topic I'd explain that to any new ladies & if it needed to be changed you ladies have that opportunity to speak up.

Oh yeah & adopted children didn't preclude anyone from the thread, either (as they have never conceived & given birth to a child), but those ladies are also sensitive not to put posts about their children in this thread too.

Did I cover everything? This was my understanding of conversations from last year, so if its different, or if anyone has a differing opinion, someone please speak up? We are all adults here & can discuss these issues openly with sensitivity & respect. Well, most of us, anyway.

Chicken - Don't go away, hun. Its this thread that got me thru 2 of my 4 mc's & got me thru the other 2 indirectly. That is more precious than gold to me. I can't give advice about telling your sister. I've had a sister who really gave very heartfelt responses & support, one that expressed her condolences but that was about it & one that texted me 3 words "that's too bad". I would have thought 2 of them would have switched responses, so you just never know what response you are going to get. But for me, it helped that my family knew my issues so they could understand when I wasn't myself, they didn't bring up baby conversations, etc. & I could call someone on the spot crying if I needed to. Its the little things sometimes...

Big luvs to everyone else!

(And someone please PM me about the mystery post! )

Oh & Dwrgi - I have always particularly liked the title "Thread Queen" as that denotes royalty & that you are my dahlink!

BF -

 

[LilSluz]

Maddy - How exciting! So when is ER then? Hoping you are cooking up some awesome eggs!

 

[pbl_ge]

What a completely unnecessary train wreck this was! Holy smokes. Dwrgi, Chicken, and BF - ya'll are the best.

And Lils, thanks for the recap of the collective forum rules. (Can I say "rules"??!! I mean they're not "rules" in the technical sense, but it's what we agreed on. I don't know what words I can use!! ) Also, there was no mystery post. I was wrong.

LadyH

Spoiler

I don't think this thread has had an update in a while about Boo--has she caught up yet? I heard that things looked good the next visit, but nothing since.

Chicken, I'm not sure what to tell you about OH, since mine was almost entirely unaffected. I hope Purp's thing helped.

Ness, I'm not 100% sure what you're asking, but here's how I use preseed: 2 mL in the applicator, a little extra for the outside. And only during the fertile window. It's so freaking expensive that I usually won't start using it until I'm pretty sure I'm within 4 days of O.

Maddy, really excited that this is happening for you!

Hope everyone is doing okay. Big hugs and dust to one and all.

AFM, I'm waiting on a phone call from the FS to confirm what I already know: I will be reaching two terrible TTC anniversaries while still un-pregnant. The one year mark (May) and my would have been due date (April 27th). It's been hitting me really hard, and there have been a great deal of tears in the past week or so, since I've had no symptoms. I never thought I'd see either of these anniversaries without a sticky bfp (or a bfp of any kind since the m/c). I'm sure many of you can relate--no one ever thinks they'll be in the "infertile" category.

It just really sucks. And I'm tired of the "failing to conceive" version of myself--I'm resentful and a little depressed, distracted and frustrated. The last time someone got a BFP I burst into tears. Not. Normal. I really really really want to move on!!!!

The other frustrating thing that I talked about in my journal is that I can't start Femara, OR get any of the tests done in this next cycle because I'm at a conference for the next week. So another month of futilely banging my head against a wall. I'm just a little ray of sunshine today, am I not?

I'll report back if the clinic calls to say that it was a positive HCG test, but don't hold your breath. I'm going back under my rock now.

 

[Lady H]

Oh Pebble how awful that those those anniversaries come so close together. sending you all the positive vibes I have.

Spoiler

I try not to post too much on Boo here as I don't want to upset anyone. However another growth scan tomorrow so I find out if she is still gaining. DH can't come so my Dad is, he's never seen a scan but Mum came to my 20 week. I'm more excited about that really!

 

[purplelou]

Dear pebble, just wanted to send you some
Cos you sound like you need 'em

 

[nessaw]

Hi pebs. First of all big hugs. Everything u said is going thro my mind too. I'm so sorry that ur feeling this way and that things haven't worked out how you hoped. I have been thinking a lot about my edd and have decided I can't let go of my mmc but I can let go of putting myself under pressure to be pg before it cones round. As we all know there seems to be no rhyme or reason as to when a bfp turns up so I can't expect one within a time frame I've set myself. As for the actual day I am going to discuss with my boyf some positive things to do on that day. Not sure what as its a school day but maybe book a treat after work to enjoy together. I think I need to do this in order to stop myself going crazy as the day approaches. I don't know if this helps u but its my thinking at the mo. Obviously subject to a womans perrogative to change her mind!!

 

[BabyBean14]

.

 

[Neversaynever]

Pebbles...I'm sorry you're going through this...I know it's no consolation what so ever but they're all normal grieving feelings and TTCAL emotions. I can't say it gets easier all of a sudden because that would be lying. Just do what you need to do to try and keep sane.

Neesaw...same for you. I always found the lead up to EDD's the worst and the actual days were a relief. For all my losses I wrote a letter and attached them to balloons to release on the beach with a good cry. The pressure we put on ourselves is crazy

Chickenchaser..I'm so sorry for your loss too. just know that sometimes...you think you're doing ok and then something will happen to make you break down again out of nowhere. It's normal. Please keep talking...don't be sad in silence

I'm sorry I've not replied to everyone...I'm sorry I'm not really supposed to be in here (I was a part of this thread when I was TTC/TTCAL's and it was important to have the understanding and support of others.

Hope my post hasn't offended...a loss is truly devastating

love, and whatever to all

XxX

 

[nessaw]

I was thinking of getting those chinese lanterns that you light and send up.

 

[purplelou]

Ness - thats a lovely idea.
I planted a little rose bush in the garden for my lost baby.

now that some time has past, it is easier, but dont let yourself be pressured to 'get over it'
you wouldnt expect to 'get over' any other bereavement now would you? and thats exactly what MC is...a bereavement.

massive hugs to you ladies who needed them

 

[doorbell]

Pebble and Ness, thinking of you both. Its such a tough time. Keep the faith, you will get to the end of the rainbow

Dr H, that sucks about your jabbing.

Maddy, hope you have lots of lovely follies starting, whens your next scan?

Chicken, sending lots of your way

AFM, nothing to report, still on BCP. Have been spotting for the last week, still have 5 more days pils to take. No idea why I'm spotting. If any of you clever ladies can shed any light on it, it would be appreciated

 

[purplelou]

doorbell I am chasing you round various threads I think.

its fairly common to spot on bcp - in the first months of taking it. its just your body getting used to the hormones. doctors will tell people that it takes up to 6 months for that settle. it'll still be working ok though

 

[doorbell]

Thanks Purple, thats very helpful to know.

Spoiler

Your little girl is more than adorable!!

 

[purplelou]

Thanks Purple, thats very helpful to know.

Spoiler

Your little girl is more than adorable!!

thank you chick xx

 

[Tiger77]

Hi ladies.
Can i join your thread?I am 35(36 this year).Me and my BF are in our first month of 'not preventing'.We 12 days ago and again 4 days later,my period is due next friday-ish,my cycles are usually 30 - 35 days long.so i am playing the waiting game now....
I have been feeling different though.Had quite a few possible symptoms,which are as follows or maybe they are all in my head
These include:

Severe bloating
Very thirsty
Pinching and pulling sensations down below,and in my abdomen,not always at the same side
Diarrhea(2 nights ago,hit me right out of the blue and stopped very abruptly)i have read that it is common in early pregnancy.I never usually suffer from this!
Lower backache
Thrush,this started last night.
It just feels like these symptoms are all too coincidental for me not to be pregnant.
Although my boobs don't hurt....yet!
What do you all think,advice would be very welcome.thanks in advance

 

[LilSluz]

Oh Pebbs, I'm so sorry hun. You are right, I certainly never planned on being IF or RMC! It just that shit seems to happen to some of the very best of us for some reason. Its sucks, it sucks, it sucks. And I noticed your chart & I just want to send you some big, super massive . I have to get off BNB soon as I'm not feeling so well so won't get to your journal, but wanted to let you know I am thinking of you.

Ness - that is a wonderful idea. How is your plant from last year doing?

Chicken -

And to all of the ladies who need them!

 

[LilSluz]

Kismet - oh yes I am very proud! Would love to hear more - how nice! How was the reiki session?

 

[LilSluz]

Tiger77 - welcome! We've all played the symptom spotting game & got burned WAY TOO MANY times so just be careful as progesterone gets produced regardless & it often mimics hcg symptoms. But hope its a lucky 1st month for you.

 

[smallhelen]

Thought I'd pop back now the dust has settled, and normal service has resumed

Lils - feel better soon honey

Tiger - hi! Welcome to the forum, and to the game of symptom spotting!

CC - still thinking of you.

Ness - a Chinese lantern sounds lovely. The idea of the light floating upwards is so peaceful.

I'm really bad at remembering what is happening to everyone, so sorry if I don't mention you. to all who need them,and good vibes to those who are waiting.

AFM - I'm hopefully going to ov today; had a tiny dip in my temps, and had positive opks for the last two days. So DH has been in demand, which he doesn't seem to mind at the moment.
On the downside, and this isn't ttc related, we're not going to get a holiday in the summer. We stupidly left it too late to get our cat into a cattery for the week (he's diabetic and needs injections twice a day, so we don't trust just any old place). So we're going to maybe have a weekend away (MIL will do duty for a day or two), and then some day-trips. We'll just have to be more organized next time! As long as I get to relax for a while, I'll be happy!

 

[Tiger77]

Tiger77 - welcome! We've all played the symptom spotting game & got burned WAY TOO MANY times so just be careful as progesterone gets produced regardless & it often mimics hcg symptoms. But hope its a lucky 1st month for you.

Thanks LilSluz.I do feel different,and have had some strange goings on,but i keep telling myself that my body might just be playing tricks on me,although i am behaving cautiously,like not drinking too much and i am taking Folic Acid.
I am not going to test early,i am due on in about 8 days,i will wait till then at the earliest.