TTC#2 for the 4th month

[Misscalais]

Sad day today one of my friends went in for her ultra sound today she was almost 18 weeks to find her baby girl died a week ago. I feel so terrible for her, she put a pic up of her bump this morning saying how excited she was for her ultrasound. Life is just so sad sometimes it's not fair.

 

[nlb]

Sad day today one of my friends went in for her ultra sound today she was almost 18 weeks to find her baby girl died a week ago. I feel so terrible for her, she put a pic up of her bump this morning saying how excited she was for her ultrasound. Life is just so sad sometimes it's not fair.

That is so sad. We will keep her in our prayers.

 

[nlb]

I've been trying to get on here for a few days to see how everyone was doing but something was wrong with my computer or this site. I've been waiting for ad to show I hope it comes today because we are going to great wolf next Tuesday. I'm on cd 36 I think we'll it's been that long seince the mc. Not real sure when to start the days when that happens

 

[dragonfly26]

Misscalais, I am so sorry for your friends loss. That is just so sad, makes me want to cry thinking about it. . I will say a prayer for her.
Nlb, hope af shows, so you can move on to your next cycle. Is great wolf a water park?
Athena, how sweet of your dh. I honestly don't think my dh has a romantic bone in his body, lol.
Cjgirl, how are you feeling? Have you gone back to doctor? Everything looking good? How long will you have to be on the shots? It really is a shame that doctors don't give a shit and not just in regards to fertility. I feel like any time I go to a doctor it's a crapshoot if they are even going to give a proper diagnosis.

 

[nlb]

Misscalais, I am so sorry for your friends loss. That is just so sad, makes me want to cry thinking about it. . I will say a prayer for her.
Nlb, hope af shows, so you can move on to your next cycle. Is great wolf a water park?
Athena, how sweet of your dh. I honestly don't think my dh has a romantic bone in his body, lol.
Cjgirl, how are you feeling? Have you gone back to doctor? Everything looking good? How long will you have to be on the shots? It really is a shame that doctors don't give a shit and not just in regards to fertility. I feel like any time I go to a doctor it's a crapshoot if they are even going to give a proper diagnosis.

Yes it is a indoor water park. We r taking my son in 1 week

 

[dragonfly26]

That should be fun! I really want to take my dd to one for a mini vaca, but dh is just so busy at work right now.

 

[athena87]

Misscalais I am so sorry this happened to your friend. I will be praying for her.

 

[CJGirl]

Misscalais, that is so sad to hear. I will say a prayer for her. I couldn't have even imagined how painful it would be to lose a baby until it happened to me. My heart is breaking all over again for you who have gone through it because now I really do understand. DH had to take DD to a birthday party yesterday. His friend's son turned one. He texted me while he was there and said there were so many babies and people feeling sorry for us. When he got home he said he didn't know how hard it would be to face a situation like that. Even if I could have gone physically, I knew I couldn't handle it emotionally. I cry almost every night now when it gets quiet in the house. I can't believe that one day we were expecting and planning for a baby and the next everything changed. I have to get back to my school work now and my prof let me set a deadline for when my research and exam are due. I set it for the 17th. I probably need more time, but I just want it to be over. Sorry to go on and on, I just really don't know what to do with myself right now. I feel like a different person almost.

nlb, Great Wolf is so fun! We took DD for her 6th bday and had a wonderful time. Which one will you be going to? Grapevine is the closest to me, but I am not sure if TX has another one.

athena, that was so sweet of your DH. I hope this month goes well for you.

 

[CJGirl]

Misscalais, I am so sorry for your friends loss. That is just so sad, makes me want to cry thinking about it. . I will say a prayer for her.
Nlb, hope af shows, so you can move on to your next cycle. Is great wolf a water park?
Athena, how sweet of your dh. I honestly don't think my dh has a romantic bone in his body, lol.
Cjgirl, how are you feeling? Have you gone back to doctor? Everything looking good? How long will you have to be on the shots? It really is a shame that doctors don't give a shit and not just in regards to fertility. I feel like any time I go to a doctor it's a crapshoot if they are even going to give a proper diagnosis.

I am feeling a lot better, physically at least. I still take pain meds about once a day. I don't know how long I will have to be on the shots. I have another blood test on Wed and hopefully my blood will have stabilized and I will be able to just take pills again. I am running out of space on my stomach because a shot can't be given to close to where one was given previously until the bruise heals and since I have so many spots that I can't get near it is getting rough. At least I have usually taken a pain pill before I have to have a shot. They tried to do the surgery with cameras and first went in on both sides of my lower abdomen and belly button, but it didn't work so they did a c-section basically. So I have wounds glued together all over and bruising. I go on the 18th to the OB/GYN to have all of it checked to make sure I am healing properly and find out what is safe for me to start doing again.

 

[Misscalais]

I've been trying to get on here for a few days to see how everyone was doing but something was wrong with my computer or this site. I've been waiting for ad to show I hope it comes today because we are going to great wolf next Tuesday. I'm on cd 36 I think we'll it's been that long seince the mc. Not real sure when to start the days when that happens

Thanks Hun, I got AF 34 days from the 1st day of the MC ( I just counted it as a normal cycle ) to keep track of it. Have you been BD at all?

 

[Misscalais]

Misscalais, I am so sorry for your friends loss. That is just so sad, makes me want to cry thinking about it. . I will say a prayer for her.
Nlb, hope af shows, so you can move on to your next cycle. Is great wolf a water park?
Athena, how sweet of your dh. I honestly don't think my dh has a romantic bone in his body, lol.
Cjgirl, how are you feeling? Have you gone back to doctor? Everything looking good? How long will you have to be on the shots? It really is a shame that doctors don't give a shit and not just in regards to fertility. I feel like any time I go to a doctor it's a crapshoot if they are even going to give a proper diagnosis.

Thanks girls I feel just so terrible for her and I agree I could sympathise with people when they had a MC and I was very sad for them but once I lost my pregnancies and the heart ache I went through just about returns when I hear of another mum going through it, it's just so sad and unfair.
I hope your tummy feels better soon, DH did well to hold himself together at the party it must have been so hard for him and I agree it would have been too emotional for you as well.
*sigh* I'm just so over all these losses. I'm praying really hard that each and every single one of us just that baby to take home and watch grow.

 

[athena87]

Fertility friend says I'm 3 dpo woo hoo, I already feel out though. Not really sure why, but I keep thinking I didn't really O. I guess cause of the pcos but we shall see. I'll probably test Sunday or Monday 8-9 dpo I got 10 early tests.

 

[dragonfly26]

Don't feel out, keep positive! I hope you get your bfp!

 

[nlb]

Cjgirl We r going to the one in grapevine Tx. It is a lot of fun we went last year and are going again.

 

[Misscalais]

Fertility friend says I'm 3 dpo woo hoo, I already feel out though. Not really sure why, but I keep thinking I didn't really O. I guess cause of the pcos but we shall see. I'll probably test Sunday or Monday 8-9 dpo I got 10 early tests.

Don't feel out Hun, you had so many good signs this month. Keeping my fingers crossed for you and sending super positive vibes

 

[CJGirl]

Fertility friend says I'm 3 dpo woo hoo, I already feel out though. Not really sure why, but I keep thinking I didn't really O. I guess cause of the pcos but we shall see. I'll probably test Sunday or Monday 8-9 dpo I got 10 early tests.

You're not out yet! FX for you!

 

[CJGirl]

Cjgirl We r going to the one in grapevine Tx. It is a lot of fun we went last year and are going again.

You will be really close to me. I hope we get to go again soon. We had such a great time when we went. There are a lot of other fun things in Grapevine too. I love going there to shop.

 

[athena87]

I know I need to be more positive. I've been really crampy for the past 2 days and I'm only 4 dpo. Thank you guys for your support I don't know what I'd do without y'all.

 

[CJGirl]

That's what we are here for athena! I feel the same way. If I didn't have you girls to talk to I would lose it. I really don't want to talk about the loss or TTC with anyone else right now. I can already tell that my mom is wanted me to give up on having another one. Even though she says she supports us no matter what the decision, and that is true, she wants us to give it up. I can tell by some of her comments. Today she was going over my surgery with me again and exactly what was done. She talked about how they removed the products of conception. I turned away so she didn't see me tear up. The baby we were suppose to be having in about 7 months is now just referred to as "products of conception". It made me so sad. I know I will get past this, but right now it feels impossible. I wasn't emotionally prepared for this. I told myself miscarriage was always a possibility and I knew that in the back of my mind, and not to lessen any of the pain y'all have felt-I would never want to come across that way, but not being able to do anything myself is making this harder. It all happened so fast and the baby is gone and now I can't even get back to my normal life because of the surgery. My usual distractions of school, working out, and projects around the house are not an option right now. I can't even get my head right to work on my research very much. I don't know what I am going to do. I feel like nothing will ever be the same. Sorry for the long drawn out post, but I can't say any of this to DH right now. I guess I can. I just don't want to.

 

[Misscalais]

Aww Cjgirl that would have been hard the way I see it is a baby is a baby regardless of if its still a bunch of cells or at full gestation, you still lost a baby no matter what stage of pregnancy it was at.
I think when people work in the medical profession it's just a way for them to cope with the losses and distance themselves. Miscarriages are one of the most terrible things to ever go through and the 1st time for me I felt the same it really didn't even enter my mind that I would loose my baby after two healthy pregnancies and my mum having 5 healthy pregnancies, sister having two healthy ones and almost everyone else in the family having plenty of healthy easy pregnancies I never even thought it would happen to me. And that's why I took it so hard because this type of thing isn't meant to 'happen to me' then you realise that it did and it hits you like a tonne of bricks.
And honestly I don't think you every fully recover from it. It's always there in the bottom of your heart the longing for the child you lost.
But hopefully a rainbow baby will help ease that pain and help you get through the tough times when you think of the little one you lost.
Hope your body heals quickly so you can at least do things to take your mind away from it for a while.