TTC#2 for the 4th month

[dragonfly26]

Misscalais, have you left for your weekend away? How long will you be gone? Have fun!!

 

[nlb]

That is pretty frustrating Athena. I'm sister in law is pregnant and when we went on vacation she was going down all the water slides even though it said not to if you r pregnant. Then we went out to eat and she ordered a Hugh beer to drink. Really??? That just pissed me off. I can't stand people who r don't take care for themselfs and the baby while they r pregnate. And to top it off she has had 5 miscarrages when she was between 6-9 months before you would think she would take extra care of herself. What an idiot

 

[dragonfly26]

Nlb, that's terrible! I would have definitely had a hard time keeping my mouth shut. Wow! Is all I can say. All those losses yet still a disregard for the babies life inside her. Wow!

 

[CJGirl]

athena, that makes me sick and angry too! It is so unfair that people like that get to experience the miracle and blessing of having babies. They don't even realize how much of a miracle it actually is!

nlb, it looked like y'all had a great time from the pics on FB! I hope we get to go their again sometime, it really is great!

Last night DH and I had an awesome time! For a little while I felt like a normal couple, like we use to be before TTC and not a couple who just lost a baby. We even managed to have sex without me hurting myself lol DH turns 30 on the 28th and we rented out the city pool for a private party. It will be fun, but I am nervous. It will be the first time seeing people since everything happened and I don't know how they are going to act. I told DH yesterday I have mixed emotions about it. I get upset when people kind of act as if it were just surgery and don't acknowledge the baby, but I also don't like when people bring the baby up at all. I don't mind being asked if I am feeling okay of course. I'm emotionally all over the place. I just really don't want a crowd of people looking at me the way I feel they will, all feeling sorry for me. And they will be bringing their babies. I'm sorry I ramble on and on in my posts lately, but I am just feeling so overwhelmed and scared that we will never have another baby.

 

[athena87]

I wanted to share this. I was at Walmart and found this baby yarn on clearance. And so to take my mind off of things and relax I started knitting this which will be a blanket when I'm done hopefully lol. It makes excited and emotional while I'm knitting it to know it will wrap my baby one day. A friend of mine told me that her pastor told them that God wants you to prepare for the flood and I if the flood is a much wanted baby then to start buying baby things and he will bless you. My husband would think I lost my mind if I started buying baby things so this is the next best thing.

 

[CJGirl]

I wanted to share this. I was at Walmart and found this baby yarn on clearance. And so to take my mind off of things and relax I started knitting this which will be a blanket when I'm done hopefully lol. It makes excited and emotional while I'm knitting it to know it will wrap my baby one day. A friend of mine told me that her pastor told them that God wants you to prepare for the flood and I if the flood is a much wanted baby then to start buying baby things and he will bless you. My husband would think I lost my mind if I started buying baby things so this is the next best thing.

That is beautiful! I can't wait to see the finished product. I actually ordered a baby blanket online the other day that says, "For this child, I have prayed." I had some gift cards and I just felt compelled to order it. I'm having it shopped to the store to pick up. I thought about not getting it because it seemed kind of silly. Maybe it's not.

 

[CJGirl]

So something interesting happened today. I will apologize now for how lengthy this post will be. I don't think I have ever told y'all about my nephew. My husband had a 21 year old brother. Shortly after we started TTC we found out he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant. She wasn't taking very good care of herself and they were both very young without jobs and living with my mother in law. I was so hurt and thought it was so unfair that they were having a baby. My jealousy was out of control and I was so angry that the mother didn't seem to care that she was doing things that may have harmed the baby while pregnant. So in October the baby was born and my brother in law was over the moon. He was really trying to get himself together to take care of baby Travis. He was a really big trouble maker growing up, but he and my husband were so close. He may have made a lot of mistakes, but I have never met someone so full of life and always happy. There was always a smile on his face and it was infectious. A week after the baby was born he had been at a job interview, but picked up a friend afterward. It is unclear what they were up to and many stories went around about them having just robbed a house and things like that, but he was pulled over by a sheriff's deputy for a routine traffic stop. The deputy thought he was going to be run over by the car (we don't know what really happened, but the grand jury felt it didn't need to go to trial) and my husband's brother was shot to death. After that his girlfriend of course fell apart and didn't know how she was going to manage without him. All of the family took turns taking care of Travis so she could grieve and he would still be taken care of properly. After a while though she got in a fight with my mother in law and moved out. She was partying and doing drugs and when I would pick up Travis he would be out of diapers and formula. We were later told by her roommate that she did that on purpose so we would pay for more of everything. She would thin out his formula and skip feedings. We would plead with her to just get it together. I would cry over how he was being taken care of. She was hateful to us all. (us and DH's two older sisters and mother). She said she was going to go to college. I offered to help her get in and take care of the baby. She was all about it at first, but the day I was to take her to sign up for the entrance exam she bailed. Soon I had to just let go, put it in God's hands and I prayed hard that Travis would be okay. She eventually took Travis and went to Indiana. One day my mother in law received a call from CPS. The police had picked up Travis and his mother. They had been living on the streets and CPS asked that my mother in law come pick Travis up and take custody of him. We were so happy he was home and had actually managed to stay healthy. When we were all fighting and pleading with his mother, my mom said to me that maybe we should consider adopting him. That maybe it was God's plan and that he was really born for us. I knew at the time his mother would not give him up and we just put the thought out of our heads. Last night I thought to myself, I wonder if we should have fought for Travis and asked to adopt him, maybe it is God's plan. Maybe my body can't take being pregnant again and that adopting him would have been our chance for a baby. Then today DH noticed he had a voicemail from his mom from Wednesday. She said it would be time for her to legally adopt Travis soon and she had an appt. next month with the lawyer, but she wanted to know if we would like to adopt him instead. I cried when my husband told me for many reasons. I cried because I was happy, because I thought maybe it was a sign, but that it may mean we never have a baby on our own. I am so emotional over all right now and all of the decisions are overwhelming, but maybe it is a blessing. I think my husband's brother would be happy for Travis to be with us. He would learn to play soccer like his dad and get to do all the things a little boy should be able to do. And he is part of our family already and DH loves him to death. I just thought I would share the whole story since I will definitely want to talk to you girls about this. By the way, Travis is 9 months old now.

 

[nlb]

Cjgirl that is great. I hope everything goes smoothly for ya. I know ya would be perfect for that little boy and he deserves to have a good start in life. Good luck I will be praying for ya.

 

[athena87]

Omg cjgirl that is amazing. I'm so happy for you. My husbands brother passed away last May, he was only 25 and was a drug addict. When we started ttc my husband found an email from his brother to his brother's best friend saying that he and his gf were thinking about having a baby. This was a few weeks before he died. They were both heroin addicts, he was hooked on pills and she talked him into heroin. She was cheating on him with the father of her son and they broke into my in-laws house. For months after he died though we were so worried she was going to show up pregnant, but we are glad she didn't. I would hate to have to deal with her.

 

[CJGirl]

athena that is so sad. I am sorry for you and your husband's loss, but very glad that she wasn't pregnant. It would be hard dealing with her. We are still discussing everything and finding out all the legal aspects. I am afraid if we decide to adopt him his mother may get upset and who knows what she may do. I don't think she could get him back with everything that she did, but I want to make sure he isn't taken from us. There is so much to think about.

 

[dragonfly26]

Cjgirl, I am sorry for the loss of brother in law and having to sit back and watch your nephew be treated like that, how horrible. That little boy definitely deserves the best as any baby does. It surely does sound like a sign. Would you give up on ttc should you adopt? How do you feel/dh feel about adopting him. It does sound a bit overwhelming, but how crazy for you to be thinking about it and no sooner do you get asked to. Is mil in a position to raise another baby? Health wise, age wise?

 

[CJGirl]

Cjgirl, I am sorry for the loss of brother in law and having to sit back and watch your nephew be treated like that, how horrible. That little boy definitely deserves the best as any baby does. It surely does sound like a sign. Would you give up on ttc should you adopt? How do you feel/dh feel about adopting him. It does sound a bit overwhelming, but how crazy for you to be thinking about it and no sooner do you get asked to. Is mil in a position to raise another baby? Health wise, age wise?

I'm not sure if we will stop TTC or not. Emotionally I don't think I can make that decision right now, so I am going to focus on healing and see what the dr says and us think about all the risks since there are are more worries than just my clotting disorder now. I feel like we should adopt him. It is all very scary, but any change can be scary at first. Having one of our own would be the same feelings I think. MIL realized that she is getting older and raising a baby may be difficult. She also has financial concerns. She has had him since March and he has been doing well, but I think once he starts walking she will have more trouble keeping up with him. She lives about 20 minutes away from us in a neighboring town.

 

[athena87]

Thank you cjgirl and I'm sorry for your loss too. At his visitation there was a crazy old lady at least that's what we decided cause his two best friends said it wasn't true. She went up to his mom and said I'm so sorry for your loss and proceeds to say and he just had that baby girl his mom just left the room and went straight to his best friend to ask him because with everything else it could've been possible he kept it a secret especially since their dad is a pastor. The funny thing is one time he called Jonathan, my husband and was like can you buy me the morning after pill and we decided we didn't want him having a baby with a stripper so we did and all the way to get it my husband antagonized him with uncle Jonathan I like the sound of that, I'm sure grandma and grandpa will love it too lol and he said y'all are having the first grandkid not me lol.

 

[athena87]

I think I may ovulate early look how dark today's tests are and it's only cd 9.

 

[Misscalais]

Hi girls sorry I've been MIA, I'm at my mums for the weekend. Heading home tonight.
Athena it's looking beautiful Hun, can't wait to see it finished how are you feeling?
Cjgirl I'm so sorry that your family had to go through that, I'm sorry for the loss of your BIL, what a horrible way to die.
I think adopting him would be the biggest blessing for Travis, yourselves and the memory of your BIL, knowing that his son is going to be well taken care of by people who love him is such an amazing thing. It's sad that his mother couldn't wise up and put her son 1st but I think this has happen for a reason.
If it were my niece or nephew I'd be doing the same thing.
I think that maybe while your body is healing you guys can talk and pray about if you think you will be wanting to go for it again or not
I think I'm around CD14 today, no signs of O just yet. A few niggling pains here and there so I'm hopeful it will happen soon.
I'm ready to dis own my MIL she's a stupid cow and carrying on like a stupid school girl. We had a huge fall out a year ago over money we owed her. Hubby told her to get out of our lives once we got the money back to her. And we've had nothing to do with since until about o month ago, we went and seen them it was awkward but we were making an effort for the kids. We try contact them this weekend no one gets back to us until this morning after me texting and calling and mil finally replys and says oh I'm working today and I'm doing mobile hair cuts after work. So we won't be seeing them and I'm ready to completely cut her out forever. She's a nasty spiteful woman. I feel sorry for hubby

 

[Misscalais]

I think I may ovulate early look how dark today's tests are and it's only cd 9.

I looks like they are getting darker nicely, hopefully you will O soon. I can't get over how crazy your last cycle was.

 

[nlb]

Im so excited my husband got me my airbrush makeup for my birthday and we went to the melting pot for dinner tonight.

 

[Misscalais]

Happy birthday Hun, lucky girl

 

[dragonfly26]

Happy Birthday nlb, glad you had a great time

 

[CJGirl]

nlb, Happy Birthday! What an awesome gift!

athena, did you ever take another HPT? It looks like you will ovulate soon, but you might want to take another HPT since it's early in your cycle and OPKs can pick up HCG as well. At least that's what I have read.

Misscalais, I'm so sorry your DH has to deal with that. It is so hard when family acts that way, especially parents. I hope your visit with your mom was good though.

I went shopping yesterday and went to Ikea to get some things. I decided to go ahead and paint and decorate the room that is meant to be the nursery the way I wanted to for our baby anyway. It is DD's playroom right now and would be Travis' room if we adopt him. The day started out very difficult and I cried a couple of times. Seeing all of the babies and pregnant women was extremely overwhelming at first, but as the day went on and I started planning fixing up the room I started to feel better. It will give me something to do and keep my mind occupied. I can only do so much right now, so it will go slow, but I'm excited about it.