TTC#2 for the 4th month

[Misscalais]

Well ladies I'm pretty sure I'm out, I'm having af like cramps. I wanted to cry this morning when I saw the bfn, but then I had a realization of some things. I need to stop sabotaging myself. I bought some ebooks from amazon "Permanently beat PCOS: Diet and Exercise Shortcuts", "Beat Pcos and boost fertility", and "The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant". I am going to stop feeling sorry for myself, stop being negative about whether I will ever get pregnant or not because attitude is a big part of getting there. And basically after reading a small part of two of the books I realized my attitude sucks. I need to stop half-assing it and expecting full results. It's not going to happen with herbs to help, it's not going to happen with just exercise. I have to improve my diet. I've decided that if and only if I make the changes lose more weight , cause 6 lbs isn't cutting it, I need to lose over 100, and still nothing then I will go to Clomid. Is it going to be easy, No, Is it going to suck, Probably, but if it helps bring me my baby, then it will be worth it. I also am going to stop testing early. I want to wait until af is due because this poas thing is driving me crazy and I just don't need the stress. I am making some big changes and there will be a new me, in the end and hopefully a mini me too lol. I just feel like this is my step in the right direction. Sorry for the long rant I just wanted to share.

Good on you honey.
Sorry that its extra hard for it to happen for you but with all the positive changes on your life I'm sure it will happen when your least expecting it. I have a few friends dealing with it and they managed to get their babies with the extra hard work

 

[Misscalais]

So my hubby finally opened up to me today about loosing the baby.
He is at work and sent me a very emotional text explaining his feelings and lack of support.
He said he was just sat there crying in his truck at work and its the 1st time he's cried for our baby. Bless his heart I felt terrible I couldn't just cuddle him.
I think this was brought on by BD for the 1st time since the MC last night. I ended up bursting into tears half way through, I just couldn't hold it back and I honestly didn't think I'd get so upset about it, it kind of really shocked me. And he really seen how much everything had just overwhelmed me for the 1st time.

 

[nlb]

So my hubby finally opened up to me today about loosing the baby.
He is at work and sent me a very emotional text explaining his feelings and lack of support.
He said he was just sat there crying in his truck at work and its the 1st time he's cried for our baby. Bless his heart I felt terrible I couldn't just cuddle him.
I think this was brought on by BD for the 1st time since the MC last night. I ended up bursting into tears half way through, I just couldn't hold it back and I honestly didn't think I'd get so upset about it, it kind of really shocked me. And he really seen how much everything had just overwhelmed me for the 1st time.

Awe im so happy he finaly came forward and told you how he felt. That way you don't feel all alone. Im sorry its so hard. I wish i could do something

 

[Misscalais]

Awe im so happy he finaly came forward and told you how he felt. That way you don't feel all alone. Im sorry its so hard. I wish i could do something

Thanks Hun.
Hopefully this will give me the closure I need and I can begin to heal.
I'm glad all my bleeding has stopped and just need the pos tests to become negative and it will be all over. I'm actually looking forward to my next cycle to come so we can TTC again.
Waiting is the hard part because until all that hcg is out of your system the new cycle can't start.

 

[dragonfly26]

Glad hubby opened up to you. For many men, mine included have a had time saying how they feel or showing emotion like that. Glad the bleeding has stopped, your tests are still positive?

 

[CJGirl]

No need to apologize for a rant, athena! I do it all the time! I am right there with you. I have felt that losing some weight, exercising more, and cutting out the caffeine could help me...along with staying positive! I started a couple of weeks ago with my diet and this week I have been doing a detox. It has been rough, but I feel so much better already! Good luck! I know you can stick with it because I have found it really gives me much more to focus on than just baby making all of the time. I don't know how much I may obsess after my O day wondering, but as of right now I have barely thought about it this month. I think my being less stressed will lead to DH being less stressed and when he is stressed he doesn't always want to BD, so I think this will help both he and I. Reading is a great distraction too! Even if you are reading fertility books. I have chosen to read the Pretty Little Liars series. Yes, I know it is for teenagers, but I love the show and it really keeps my mind off of everything to read something "pointless" and just for fun alone.

Cjgirl I am on book 11 of pretty little liars lol. I actually haven't read it in a while but I am waiting for season 3 on netflix lol. I love it though. I am reading Gossip girl too.

That is so awesome! I am always looking for someone to talk to about it with but I don't know many people who watch it and no one has read it lol A friend who I told to about it is really impatient and said she just googled to find out who A is and I told her she was not allowed to discuss it with me anymore lol I'm on book 5 and I can't believe some of the difference between the books and show. I can't wait for season 3 to be on netflix!

 

[CJGirl]

So my hubby finally opened up to me today about loosing the baby.
He is at work and sent me a very emotional text explaining his feelings and lack of support.
He said he was just sat there crying in his truck at work and its the 1st time he's cried for our baby. Bless his heart I felt terrible I couldn't just cuddle him.
I think this was brought on by BD for the 1st time since the MC last night. I ended up bursting into tears half way through, I just couldn't hold it back and I honestly didn't think I'd get so upset about it, it kind of really shocked me. And he really seen how much everything had just overwhelmed me for the 1st time.

It's good that y'all have finally shared your emotions with one another. I know it's been so hard, but we will be praying for you as you start over

 

[athena87]

Miscalais I am glad you all talked about your feelings. That's a good step to move forward. You all are still in my prayers.

Cjgirl I check out the ebooks online and am on a waiting list for 11, 4.5, and 12. Once I finish these I will probably go back and read the rest of gossip girl. The books and the show are way different. One of my friends only watches the show but she's the reason I started reading the books. I thought it was crazy how different the girls on the show are from the descriptions in the book. I have been right about who the a's have been so far.

Afm I started my diet today. And breakfast wasn't bad, about to have lunch

 

[CJGirl]

Miscalais I am glad you all talked about your feelings. That's a good step to move forward. You all are still in my prayers.

Cjgirl I check out the ebooks online and am on a waiting list for 11, 4.5, and 12. Once I finish these I will probably go back and read the rest of gossip girl. The books and the show are way different. One of my friends only watches the show but she's the reason I started reading the books. I thought it was crazy how different the girls on the show are from the descriptions in the book. I have been right about who the a's have been so far.

Afm I started my diet today. And breakfast wasn't bad, about to have lunch

I always imagine the characters in the show when I am reading even though they are so different looking in the books. I can't believe the huge differences from the show, like Aria's parents and her being with Sean and that Toby dies! I have a theory about who A number 2 is, but I'm not sure yet since I just started book 5. I came up with it after seeing the Halloween episode of the show. I haven't ever seen Gossip Girl. I may have to watch that soon. I started watching The Lying game, which is also based off of a book series by Sara Shepard, but I didn't really get into it.

 

[CJGirl]

By the way athena, good luck with day one of your diet! I'm on a day in my cleanse where I can only have bananas and it is rough lol But by day 7 I should be 10 lbs lighter and feel great! I hope lol

 

[Misscalais]

Glad hubby opened up to you. For many men, mine included have a had time saying how they feel or showing emotion like that. Glad the bleeding has stopped, your tests are still positive?

Me too, and he said exactly that. He said he was sad and angry but he didnt know how to show how he was feeling to me. It also took a while to register with him because he was hoping the Drs were wrong and that it was normal seems my bleeding never got overly heavy nor was in pain. But i think he finally realised after i showed him the tests getting lighter from the dark pos ones.
Im still tsting a very faint pos, thats on a FRER it would be neg on a normal test.
If its still pos by monday ill be asking for an ultra sound to see if all tissue has passed.

 

[CJGirl]

I hope you all have a great weekend!

Misscalais, you are in my prayers and I hope that by Monday everything is okay, physically at least. I admire how strong you have been through all of this.

 

[nlb]

hey girls hope everyone i doing good today. im so tired and my husband and i r going to the rodeo tonight. I realy don't want to go but he is excited to take me. so i guess i will just go and have fun with it. I would rather stay home and sleep.

 

[CJGirl]

hey girls hope everyone i doing good today. im so tired and my husband and i r going to the rodeo tonight. I realy don't want to go but he is excited to take me. so i guess i will just go and have fun with it. I would rather stay home and sleep.

Hope you have fun even though you are tired! DD's class and the other first graders did a rodeo for the parents today with stick horses. It was so cute!

 

[nlb]

That sounds cute. I love it when they have the kids do things like that.

 

[Misscalais]

I hope you all have a great weekend!

Misscalais, you are in my prayers and I hope that by Monday everything is okay, physically at least. I admire how strong you have been through all of this.

Thanks Hun
I'm feeling more like my normal self again which is fantastic. And we BD last night without protection. So here is to hoping I can get preg before AF even shows that would be great lol!

 

[CJGirl]

I hope you all have a great weekend!

Misscalais, you are in my prayers and I hope that by Monday everything is okay, physically at least. I admire how strong you have been through all of this.

Thanks Hun
I'm feeling more like my normal self again which is fantastic. And we BD last night without protection. So here is to hoping I can get preg before AF even shows that would be great lol!

I'll have my fingers crossed tight!!!

 

[athena87]

Well I think AF has officially graced me with her presence. But it's ok, because that means I have had my first regular 28 day cycle and actually ovulated. Which when you have been irregular for 6 months is a blessing. Here is to hoping for another, but minus the af lol.

 

[CJGirl]

Well I think AF has officially graced me with her presence. But it's ok, because that means I have had my first regular 28 day cycle and actually ovulated. Which when you have been irregular for 6 months is a blessing. Here is to hoping for another, but minus the af lol.

Sorry about AF, but that is great news about having a regular cycle! I really hope it says that way for you so that you can have an easier time.

 

[CJGirl]

I have sworn off all OPKS and SMEP this month, but last night I had some excellent EWCM (which I haven't had in a while!) So we BD as soon as we could. I think I heard something about pineapple increasing it and I just happened to eat a ton of it this week because I wanted it. And also drinking tons of water, so maybe that helped out. I don't know.