Valentine's Day testers!

[Aayla]

I was very open about the whole process. I documented it all on FB. I wanted everyone to know what it was like to go through infertility and how the whole process worked. I had to shut a lot of people down that kept telling me to relax or how they tried for a year and as soon as she stopped "trying" they got pregnant. I don't know how many times I had to tell people I don't have stress induced infertility and that I just don't ovulate on my own.

After the mc I went silent for the most part. Hubby doesn't want anyone to know until we get our first scan with the next bfp. Our announcements went crazy and spiraled out of control the first time. People told when the shouldn't have so I was forced to announce on FB so that no one would hear it second hand.

So now I limit who I talk to about it. If someone asks I will talk their ear off but I usually just talk to my mom and a bit to my best friend, but he's a guy so he doesn't always want to hear about the nitty gritty.

My other "best friend" was ttc along with me but she wasn't doing very much other than having sex at what she thinks was the right time. No temping, no real tracking other than af. She stopped talking about it awhile ago and I have no idea what is happening with her. But then, she hasn't called me in about 2 weeks. She says she is my best friend but it seems to be I'm the choice she makes when she has no one else to hang out with.

 

[MiaMama]

I don't talk much to my mom unfortunately. We do not have this kind of mother/daughter relationship. But I am very lucky that my husband is adorable and so helpful!

Maybe your friend struggles right now, maybe she does not feel well neither about the TTC process. Who knows? I heard years after my friends got babies that some of them struggled for years and I never knew that before.

I am very impressed Aayla by your story and really wish you all the best (I've read your journal). You deserve more than anyone an healthy baby very soon!

 

[LuLu15]

I haven't chimed in in awhile but wanted to share about talking with others about ttc. My best friend has always been supportive and never told me to relax or anything; she would just listen. I recently talked to another person I work with who also suffered with infertility. Him and his wife were having a hard time and on their last iui they conceived a viable pregnancy. He shared with me the resentment him and his wife felt for others who were able to get pregnant and that his wife felt her body was broken...I could have written this same story about my body being broken and just feeling so sad that I could not have another child. I have 2 yes, but I want another sibling for my kiddos and I feel so bad that it has not happened. My eyes water thinking about wanting another child; but for me... I feel everything for me happens for a reason and when it's meant to be, it will be.

 

[Aayla]

I don't talk much to my mom unfortunately. We do not have this kind of mother/daughter relationship. But I am very lucky that my husband is adorable and so helpful!

Maybe your friend struggles right now, maybe she does not feel well neither about the TTC process. Who knows? I heard years after my friends got babies that some of them struggled for years and I never knew that before.

I am very impressed Aayla by your story and really wish you all the best (I've read your journal). You deserve more than anyone an healthy baby very soon!

Yeah, it's hard to say what she is going through. I'm not always open with her as well. i have my journal and my hubby in which I do a big bunch of venting. Thanks for reading btw! And maybe she doesn't feel comfortable venting to me while I struggle. It's such a hard, long and personal process.

 

[Aayla]

I haven't chimed in in awhile but wanted to share about talking with others about ttc. My best friend has always been supportive and never told me to relax or anything; she would just listen. I recently talked to another person I work with who also suffered with infertility. Him and his wife were having a hard time and on their last iui they conceived a viable pregnancy. He shared with me the resentment him and his wife felt for others who were able to get pregnant and that his wife felt her body was broken...I could have written this same story about my body being broken and just feeling so sad that I could not have another child. I have 2 yes, but I want another sibling for my kiddos and I feel so bad that it has not happened. My eyes water thinking about wanting another child; but for me... I feel everything for me happens for a reason and when it's meant to be, it will be.

I totally understand. I've always been resentful of my body not doing what it was biologically meant to do. and it came so easy to other women. I know many suffer like I do but there are so many that if they miss one day of birth control they get pregnant. and it sucks.

to be totally honest: it wasn't until I was on this forum that I truly understood secondary infertility. and it took awhile to change my thoughts. I was always resentful to those who already had kids but claimed they struggled to have more. They got pregnant so easily in the past that even though they struggle to have #3 or 4 or 5, they never understood how heartbreaking the struggle was to just have #1.
I, of course, have since opened my mind. I have talked with many a women on here struggling with secondary infertility. some of them going through multiple miscarriages.
as private and painful as it is, I think we need to talk about it more. No one wants to open up and they struggle alone. I figured by telling my story on facebook that someone in my circle would know there are others out there. and I've had a few friends come forward and tell me of their miscarriages and other trials.

 

[rose.]

I think you're very brave talking about it to others Aayla. I find it very difficult to talk to others outside this forum about TTC. I only talk about it to one friend who is TTC but is not ovulating at the moment due to PCOS. I listen to her and she listens to me, luckily she never makes funny comments about me already having one, or it being much harder for her because she's not ovulating. She really is a lovely friend and I'm lucky to have someone I can speak to outside the forum this time around, because last time I had nobody apart from DH and he got sick of hearing about it. This time I don't talk to him about it much, i think it causes him stress if I pressure him so I just try and make it more fun for both of us

 

[MiaMama]

Thank you all ladies for sharing!

Yesterday I was feeling so sad and lonely, I cried a lot but reading all your comments makes me feel better.
I wish my best friend was closer to me because she is THE one who listen to me but with a 9hours time difference it is very difficult to call each other every week.

I really enjoy being on this thread!

 

[slammerkin]

I'm glad these forums exist for everyone to get support when they don't find it in real life. I have only told one person that we're trying and it was ironically someone I'm not even that close with - just a friend at work. But we had both talked about when we wanted to time our next kids so she just guessed. I just don't want people asking every month if I'm pregnant yet in case it takes a while.

 

[rose.]

I feel exactly the same Shelly. It would make me feel even worse if I had the added pressure of other people asking. Luckily everyone thinks we aren't going to have any more kids because I went through a stage of saying we wouldn't a year or two ago when everyone was hassling us to have another, and DS was a real handful at the time. Even my mum thinks we aren't having any more kids and has stopped trying to persuade me so it's certainly going to be a surprise for her

 

[Thorpedo11]

Its nice to have a community on here to talk about TTC. I told only one person (very very close family friend) that we were going to start trying and then they used that fact in an argument with their significant other. (Our husbands were just about to take off out of state) It's sad because I didn't think that someone would use something I was excited about to get back at someone else to try and hurt them to win an argument. ☹ So now I'm on here and you lovely ladies are the one who I'm able to talk to about this.

As for me now ---- I currently on day 12 of 27/28. Depends on the month. For the last 3 days I've gotten flashing smiley faces on my OPK. My cm has become more like egg whites. So I should be Oing either tomorrow or on Saturday which would be good news for me. We haven't been able to dtd because my DH is out of state but should be back tomorrow afternoon. So I plan on us dtd maybe 3-4 times once he gets back ☺️ Hopefully that will be enough to catch this month. I we don't we are thinking about skipping next month. (I really don't want to)

How are the rest of you ladies doing? What CD are you on? Are you doing anything different this month?

 

[MiaMama]

Its nice to have a community on here to talk about TTC. I told only one person (very very close family friend) that we were going to start trying and then they used that fact in an argument with their significant other. (Our husbands were just about to take off out of state) It's sad because I didn't think that someone would use something I was excited about to get back at someone else to try and hurt them to win an argument. ☹ So now I'm on here and you lovely ladies are the one who I'm able to talk to about this.

As for me now ---- I currently on day 12 of 27/28. Depends on the month. For the last 3 days I've gotten flashing smiley faces on my OPK. My cm has become more like egg whites. So I should be Oing either tomorrow or on Saturday which would be good news for me. We haven't been able to dtd because my DH is out of state but should be back tomorrow afternoon. So I plan on us dtd maybe 3-4 times once he gets back ☺️ Hopefully that will be enough to catch this month. I we don't we are thinking about skipping next month. (I really don't want to)

How are the rest of you ladies doing? What CD are you on? Are you doing anything different this month?

Sorry about your friend, what a surprise, I can even imagine

On my side, started my OPK this morning (so first day is always low) and I am CD10. I really hope I'll ovulate around CD13-15 this month. I have been ovulated very late the 2 past months and don't understand why. I just want my cycle to be back to normal length.

Ovulation is coming soon for all of us. How exciting!

 

[Aayla]

I am on cd12. I don't ovulate in my own so this cycle likely won't count for anything as I am not taking my fertility meds. But that doesn't mean I won't have us BD during the regular times just in case. I am still getting my progesterone checked to see if I ovulated on my own. But I still have 5 days to go min of when normal O time is. Just waiting.

 

[rose.]

Nightmare Last night - we Bd but hubby made a mess and I'm not sure if I actually got any inside typical that it has to happen when we hadn't done it in 3 days. I just hope I dont O early this cycle - it shouldnt happen until Monday so if that's the case it won't matter. my ewcm has increased a lot this morning so I'm hoping it doesn't come early. I'm supposed to be out tonight but I think I'll stay home and try to get some bd in just in case, otherwise if I O today I'm probably going to be out for this month

 

[Thorpedo11]

I just got 2 big positives on my OPK. I'm thinking I'll either O tonight or tomorrow. 😳 I'm so happy my hubby came home early late last night. Now going to try and catch this egg. ☺️☺️ Good luck ladies and baby dust!!

 

[rose.]

Yay good luck Thorpedo!

 

[MiaMama]

CD13 here and OPK is still low...

 

[rose.]

Hopefully you'll get a positive soon MiaMama - maybe you'll go from low to high very quickly! This cycle was a bit unusual for me (or at least I think it's going to be) as I had a big rise this morning so I think I may have Od yesterday. This is earlier than normal. It may have been an off temp but I don't have anywhere near as much cm today either which makes me think it was probably yesterday.
I sooooo need it to happen this month, I am getting to the stage of being really fed up with it all and just wanting to know that it is going to happen.

 

[MiaMama]

I understand Rose. I need it so badly too... I woke up very stressed and was so sad after getting the low on the test... I am very desperate and feel like it's never going to happen for me and DH.
When DH woke up, he immediately noticed I was very sad which is very unusual for me. He is very supportive, I am lucky to have him.

 

[rose.]

Sorry that you're sad TTC does sort of take over your life. I have never felt frustration like the disappointment every month when you've got your hopes up and then AF arrives.
I begin to get more positive after Af then go through the TWW thinking and hoping that I might be pregnant - only for Af to arrive again
I'm feeling more positive at the moment but also mindful that I will probably get to the end of the TWW and be disappointed

 

[MiaMama]

Happy Monday ladies!

Today is CD13 and OPK is high.

How is everyone else doing?