Weird things you did during labour...

[Indi84]

I was (well LO was) attached to a heart rate monitor, with a clip in his head. I could only sit on a birthing ball because my SPD meant I couldn't sit or lie on the bed.
I kept insisting I needed a poo, and to unhook to the wires from the machine for me. So they did, I'd wrap a towel around myself, waddle off to the toilet in the reception area, come back, get hooked up, and then do it again about 40 mins later. They kept saying, it's the baby, it's the baby, you don't need to go!
They were right, and I still poo'd during pushing

I also kept saying sorry, 14hr back to back labour on the ball the WHOLE time, with just gas and air and I kept saying to DH, 'I'm so sorry, you must be so tired'. Also I wanted the midwife to tell me when LO was coming, to the exact minute!

 

[lauraemily17]

I was quite insistent my voice sounded like Barry White after far too much gas and air! Said gas and air also caused some of the loudest burps I've ever done along with the hiccups, yes, often at the same time! I also decided I was going to bake a Chocolate cake as soon as I got home! (1 year on and I still haven't done it!!)

 

[Katerpillar]

I kept calling for my dog and asking why he was sat in th corner not coming to me!! Diamorphine at its finest!!!

 

[XJessicaX]

TMI. My labour was pretty dam fast so my contractions were just like niggling period pains for the majority of it. They suddenly without any warning went MEGA painful and that is when the urge for a clear out came. Because the contractions were coming every 2 minutes I in detail explained to my husband that I was going to wait until the contraction passed and then sprint to the loo (I talk a LOT and even at 10cm I was able to have a conversation lol!) so I did my usually run on the spot (seemed to be the thing to do when in so much pain) and then the second I realised the contraction was ceasing I yelled "ARGH, NEED TO POO, GET THE DOOR" and ran into the bathroom.

 

[Dragonfly]

The pressure made me fart and only when they went down to check me. That was first labour.

second I was talking about horses and cats in the room while on gas. I was mostly concerned the horse in the corner wasnt being fed. I also sounded like Deirdre Barlow and my throat was torn out of me with gas.

 

[twobecome3]

i was moaning like a cow until i got the epidural. then i was cracking jokes to the nurses. i had gas and air, morphine, and the epi so don't remember anything specific !

 

[Dragonfly]

I kept calling for my dog and asking why he was sat in th corner not coming to me!! Diamorphine at its finest!!!

I am LOLing, probably what I had on top of the gas too. And your babies face looking at what you are saying in your avatar

 

[Reidfidleir]

These stories are funny. I had a pretty boring labor compared to you ladies! I had an unmedicated home water birth that went pretty textbook despite it being four weeks early.
Sitting in the pool one of my midwives pointed out a little drop of blood. And said oh great! Look! It's bloody show! I said "I'm sorry". I felt bad because I had "dirtied" the pool. She laughed and said no no this is good things are progressing.
My husband was trying to cook something for the midwives (we weren't prepared so didn't have much on hand) but the smell was just too much for me to bear I thought I was suffocating! I asked him to stop cooking asked for the windows to be open. And kept asking how much longer until you're done cooking?! I'm sorry but it smells terrible to me right now!
Also once I started pushing for an hour I asked midwives how much longer?? "You're almost there!" A half hour later. Same question. You're almost there! Another half hour later se question. Almost there! You said that an hour ago! How much longer for real??
I ended up pushing for 3 hours. Baby came out with his hands over his face.
They kept trying to have me move positions to help get him out but I moaned at them each time because I enjoyed my breaks between contractions and didnt want to spur another haha. I followed their direction though.

 

[bookworm0901]

My nurse told me that I was her best patient ever and when I told
DH he said it was really strange, I would moan and freak out during contractions and the second it ended I would go back to being happy and calm...I just remember every break between contractions felt wonderful.

Also, I think maybe the pain was making me shiver but I was actually extremely hot. Everyone kept asking me why I was shivering but I didn't know. I had my legs out of the blanket and every damn nurse who walked by covered my legs. When one nurse did it about the 7th time, I kicked the covers off dramatically and glared at her lol.

 

[Hangin_On_AGS]

I yelled at the obgyn that I truly dislike because she was telling me I didn't have a seizure when I'm an epileptic

I screamed at my mom to just take me home because I was done. This was while I had been in prelabor having contractions every 3 minutes for 12 hours and wasn't progressing.

when my prelabor started at 8 in the morning I was determined that I wasn't in labor so I went and saw my horse at the barn and tried to groom him in between contractions.

When I got to the hospital I lost all modesty and the nurse kept telling me if I was going to the bathroom I needed to wrap a towel around my back so that I wasn't flashing people, After 24 hours of contractions every 3 minutes.. I lost all modesty and just started walking around completely naked and didn't care what anyone thought. And frankly I haven't gotten any of that modesty back when it comes to breast feeding at home lol.

 

[chezababy]

I was 9 centimetres when I got to the hospital and was sent straight to delivery. When I got there I told the midwife I was starving and needed to eat. She obviously told me it was too late for that and half an hour later my lo was born. Other than that I had an uneventful labour really. Although I did get really annoyed at the midwife that examined me as she didn't believe I was very far a long and refused to examine me straight away. I was made to sit in a waiting room at 9 centimetres for 15 minutes.

 

[Clarabell543]

I was a bit delirious. The syntocinon drip caused me to have a hyperstimulated uterus and i wasnt getting breaks in between contractions.. i literally just babbled nonesense. The gas sent me a bit loopy! I was shouting at my hubby to move his car as he was blocking the ambulances.. this was after i punched him in the bits. I was calling everyone chicken. I also had an emcs. And had a general anasthetic. Whilst lying on the table in the theatre even that didn't shut me up. I begged for them to hurry up and put me to sleep shouting at them they were taking too long. I am mortified!!! I like to think i am a nice person and i wouldnt dream of shouting at people like that! I just wanted to go back and say sorry to them all!!!!!

 

[nicki01]

My labour was a quick 4 hrs! Once I got to the hosp they took ages to let us in as it was midnight!
I was on all fours outside for about 10 mins! Then ran in, headed straight for a bin in the corridor and threw up! Lifted my head and shouted at some random man sat in a chair 'great, now I've just fucking pissed myself'!!
I hadn't! The force of me being sick has pushed all my bloody out and that's what I could feel!
I then spent the next hour sat on a toilet refusing to move because I needed to poo!
I didn't need to poo and didn't poo in labour it was just baby coming down!

Really looking forward to see what crazy things I say/do this time! I wish I could have been a fly on the wall at my first, it was funny!

 

[IrelandsOwn]

I had an unmedicated birth in a birth centre but had to be transferred to hospital after as I hemorrhaged. They gave me a crazy cocktail of drugs, including ketamine, when they were stitching me up. As we left the OR I demanded they stop pushing my bed so I could tell the doctor he reminded me of Woody Harrelson. I was quite embarrassed when the drugs wore off. (In my defence he did look and sound like Woody Harrelson.)

 

[AP]

I think it dawned on me eventually I was in premature labour, so i turned round to OH and said "This is all yours, and Michael Jacksons fault!!!" (MJ had died a few days earlier, i was gutted!)
I was also singing Moonpig.com and saying thank you waaaaaaaaay too much.

My second birth experience was a relatively calm affair, I only really used gas and air AFTER the birth, to stop me screaming at the nurse stitching me up .

 

[Lady_Venom]

While pushing during my home birth on the bed, I heard myself fart. I was so paranoid I kept asking the midwives between growling "did I poo? omg did I poo? please tell me if I did!" haha I'm glad I didn't, just a lot of farts. Also, during the push that popped my daughter's head out, I growled/screamed really loud and suddenly the neighbours banged hard on the wall behind my head. I then yelled "I'M HAVING A BABY!!" it was pretty embarrassing because I thought they probably thought we were having rough sex or something. It turns out they almost called the cops on us because they thought my OH was trying to murder me haha. Why bang on the wall? like that would stop a murder!? luckily a midwife went next door to explain the whole ordeal and the neighbours ended up denying they even banged on the wall...crazy neighbours.

 

[Clarabell543]

I was a bit delirious. The syntocinon drip caused me to have a hyperstimulated uterus and i wasnt getting breaks in between contractions.. i literally just babbled nonesense. The gas sent me a bit loopy! I was shouting at my hubby to move his car as he was blocking the ambulances.. this was after i punched him in the bits. I was calling everyone chicken. I also had an emcs. And had a general anasthetic. Whilst lying on the table in the theatre even that didn't shut me up. I begged for them to hurry up and put me to sleep shouting at them they were taking too long. I am mortified!!! I like to think i am a nice person and i wouldnt dream of shouting at people like that! I just wanted to go back and say sorry to them all!!!!!

 

[diggory77]

I was very adamant that I wanted the nurses to follow my birth plan. I said I wouldn't push her out until they agreed to my husband announcing the sex. Once I pushed her out, I shouted "oh my gooood, it's a girl" my husband looked so miffed that I'd stolen his only job from him!
Also I was on gas and air whilst being stitched up and I winked (!) at the handsome doctor doing my stitches and was smiling like a lunatic! I also asked for a designer vagina
X

 

[SmileyKez]

I fell asleep after they gave me diamorphine! I was naked after being in the pool, sprawled over this bean bag thing and fell asleep!

Also, i had water papule injections and i screamed like i was being murdered! Without doubt the most painful part of the whole thing! I heard myself scream and thought it was someone else!

Oh one other thing, i ended up going to theatre for forceps delivery and the aneathatist (sp?) was trying to tell me how to arch my back and i just couldnt get it! He kept trying to explain but i was doing it all wrong, my oh was so embarrassed haha. In the end he had to demonstrate it at the bottom of the bed. I can remember him saying to me, like a cat, like a cat. Haha!

It was awful at the time but after a few days the whole experience was hilarious!

 

[Randianne]

My LO was sunny side up during labor, so I had to turn my giant self over, get on my knees and do a hula hoop motion with my hips for half an hour to try to get her to turn. I kept babbling about recording it for America's Funniest Videos and being in a Beyonce video.