What age do you think it is ok to leave children at home?

I very seriously hope that for some of the judgement being cast around you all still remain lucky enough to afford childcare and a job and never leave your children even for five minutes. Because i know damn well i wouldn't be able to. At 12 if i need to pop to the shops, i'd be happy, providing they were mature enough, to leave my two alone. At 16 i'd be happy to leave them for longer periods provided they were mature. I survived it all just fine, i knew how to work the phone and who to call. Perhaps the fact there is NO law on it should say everything it needs to.
 
I very seriously hope that for some of the judgement being cast around you all still remain lucky enough to afford childcare and a job and never leave your children even for five minutes. Because i know damn well i wouldn't be able to. At 12 if i need to pop to the shops, i'd be happy, providing they were mature enough, to leave my two alone. At 16 i'd be happy to leave them for longer periods provided they were mature. I survived it all just fine, i knew how to work the phone and who to call. Perhaps the fact there is NO law on it should say everything it needs to.

:thumbup:

When did we stop being able to have a discussion on here without resorting to belittling and personal attacks? Pathetic.
 
I don't think xenophobia is the answer to the question? I walked to school from about 8/9 plus, my mam didn't work but I would have died with embarrassment if she didn't let me walk at that age! My neighbours daughter is 10 or 11 and I could never imagine her being left to walk to school or to stay home for any period of time. I'll probably let Elodie walk to school at about 9 taking into account her maturity levels. Left home alone whilst I'm shopping at about 11 and when I'm in work at about 12 I imagine.
 
L starts school in September and the pack specifically says that only children in year 6 are permitted to walk home alone, if no one is there to pick up a younger child (so 10 and under) then social services and the police will be informed. I thought that was the law.
Not sure when I would leave her alone, she has a medical condition so that complicates things x
 
As a social worker, I get asked this a lot. As someone else has stated, there is technically no law on this. However, we class leaving a young child unattended as neglect and that itself has serious consequences (sometimes with social services, and sometimes with the police).

We work on the general rule that at 13, a mature child could be left alone for a few hours after school (a short walk to and from school alone at 10-11 is also acceptable). Any younger than that and we would investigate (and I have done, numerous times).I'm sure this won't go down well with some people who think that 7 year olds are fit to look after themselves but I think it is very justified.

I am well aware that different countries have different guidance and laws etc, but guidance and laws aside, what parent in their right mind would leave a 6 or 7 year old alone for any length of time???? How hard is it to put them in the car and take them with you? It's not teaching them independence, it's irresponsible.

My children and their safety and well-being are my number one priority, not ensuring I can get to work and 'popping to the shops for 5 mins'.

I am truly horrified by some if the responses I have read on the his thread. Shame on some of you.

Then shame to the thousands upon thousands of parents in this country. I hear more child abductions from the uk which is smaller, less populated than Germany. To be quite honest in the last 4 years I've been living here I haven't heard anything of the sort and I watch and listen to the news regularly, but I've heard of quite a few that's happened in the UK in that same period. If I called social services at every time I've seen kids walking home alone who look no older than 8 I'd probably get laughed at - it's the norm here, different country, different cultures and certainly no ones place to say that's shameful.

I agree, shame on thousands upon thousands of parents who are so irresponsible when it comes to their children's safety.

This argument comes up a lot in my profession, ie different culture, different country etc. Just because it's a different culture doesn't mean that I, as a parent, or as a professional have to agree with it.

For example, in my profession, we have found a huge number of families who have settled the UK from Eastern European countries are requiring services and advice when it comes to Domestic Violence (and yes there are statistics, studies to back this up. Goggle it.) Obviously we deal with a tiny minority of these families, but in a lot of our cases, their attitude or tolerance towards domestic violence is very different to ours. Just because they have different values, cultures etc does not mean that we accept it. They must abide by our laws and policies when they move here as we do not accept them breaking the law just because it goes against their culture or is accepted in their country (this is not meant to open another debate, it is just my professional experience. I have worked with many responsible and loving Eastern European families!!)

I am well aware that my opinion is not popular, but your justifications of your irresponsible parenting does not change my mind. I work with parents everyday who excuse leaving young children alone with 'I had to work', 'my babysitter let me down', 'I just went to the local shop for a pizza' etc etc etc. My opinion comes from years of
training on child development, health and safety training, professional experience of exactly this and of course my experience of parenting myself. Shame on me all you want.

I only have a job because of parents with perspectives like this.

I am so horrified by some of the responses on here, I will be unsubscribing so justify your poor parenting all you like without any further input from me.

I'd hardly call it poor parenting, that's just how it goes here. I happen to live in a country which has probably more laws protecting kids than the UK does. It's illegal to smack children here, I don't believe it is in the UK?

When I first came here I thought it was a bit strange to see kids walking alone to school, I questioned my OH about it and he said its normal, everyone does it. I then asked him about the possibility of kids being abducted while walking alone and he said in the 27 years he's been living in this town he's never heard of it happen. It is safer here, a lot more as a matter of fact.

Like I said, I've been here four years and watch news daily. I've yet to discover anything in the news about a child of any age being abducted yet how many have there been in the UK the past few years? Kids are brought up differently here, a lot differently. To call all German mothers "irresponsible" is quite insulting to be honest.

You don't have to accept that this is how German parents do things, you don't live here, but to say they are irresponsible for something that is quite the norm and part of their every day life is insulting.
 
my mil is german and recently told me how she would leave my oh alone with a bunch of bananas whilst she walked his older sister to school.... :haha: he would have been about 5/6
got the impression it was normal lol


i'm assuming the bananas kept him distracted :haha:
 
As a social worker, I get asked this a lot. As someone else has stated, there is technically no law on this. However, we class leaving a young child unattended as neglect and that itself has serious consequences (sometimes with social services, and sometimes with the police).

We work on the general rule that at 13, a mature child could be left alone for a few hours after school (a short walk to and from school alone at 10-11 is also acceptable). Any younger than that and we would investigate (and I have done, numerous times).I'm sure this won't go down well with some people who think that 7 year olds are fit to look after themselves but I think it is very justified.

I am well aware that different countries have different guidance and laws etc, but guidance and laws aside, what parent in their right mind would leave a 6 or 7 year old alone for any length of time???? How hard is it to put them in the car and take them with you? It's not teaching them independence, it's irresponsible.

My children and their safety and well-being are my number one priority, not ensuring I can get to work and 'popping to the shops for 5 mins'.

I am truly horrified by some if the responses I have read on the his thread. Shame on some of you.


i actually agree with you, although i dont agree with your later post that children under 16 years shouldn't be left overnight.

all through primary school my mum walked me and my sister to school, there was only really one road to cross which was at the top of the street, the next one was a crossing right outside school, maybe she walked up both as my sister is 5 years younger than me, but even when i was in high school she always walked my sister, and she is more street wise than i ever was..
I do think that when people say they wouldnt leave their 7-8 year old alone while they pop out for 10 mins, not really because they dont feel safe, maybe deep down they feel they are neglecting their child.
I guess i wouldnt really know until it comes to it.
My OH's neice and nephew are 8 & 9, their school is literally 2 mins walk, they could easily stand at the gate and watch them walk to school, but they dont, they are walked to school, my OH thinks they should be left to walk alone, but IDK i think i would still walk them in and pick them up.
i couldnt imagine them being left alone while their mum went to the shop for 10 mins, i mean even just simple things that i know at 20 YO ive done my self, i once knocked the knob on the cooker and turned it on, luckily the hob was clear and i noticed after a few mins, ive also moved the kettle which has got caught under the steriliser turning it on, it couldnt pop back up because the lip of the steriliser was in the way, again luckily i was still in the room so i noticed, but if i can make a simple mistake like that at 20 im sure no matter how mature a 8 & 9 year old could too, OHs nephew (9) also once plugged something into a extention, 5 mins later i touched the plug and it was scolding, because he didnt put it in properly, for all we know any min that could have set on fire.
But in the same sense, their dad is extremely lazy and on school holidays while mum is at work he stays in bed, sometimes until 11-12 the kids are left in the living room, Nephew usually on xbox or both glued to tv, with no one there to tell them not to be glued to tv they hardly move anyway, so is this much different?
also i know how curious little minds can be, OHs nephew once pinched a lighter and got curous about fire, he was playing with it in his bedroom and started a very small fire, not because he wanted to be naughty but as i say he was curious, he does know the dangers of fire, but in the heat of the moment it obviously didnt cross his mind
I know someone who once when young child was asleep (about 5) she would quickly nip a few doors up for 10 mins to speak to neighbor, surely this is the same as going to shop? child is asleep, if they stay asleep what damage could be done..

No personally i dont think i would, i do think its quite irresponsible to leave children probably under 11-12 for any time wether it be 10 mins or a hour, no matter how mature you have brought them up, id much rather have a stroppy 9 YO with me than have to live with my self incase anything happened..
 
As a social worker, I get asked this a lot. As someone else has stated, there is technically no law on this. However, we class leaving a young child unattended as neglect and that itself has serious consequences (sometimes with social services, and sometimes with the police).

We work on the general rule that at 13, a mature child could be left alone for a few hours after school (a short walk to and from school alone at 10-11 is also acceptable). Any younger than that and we would investigate (and I have done, numerous times).I'm sure this won't go down well with some people who think that 7 year olds are fit to look after themselves but I think it is very justified.

I am well aware that different countries have different guidance and laws etc, but guidance and laws aside, what parent in their right mind would leave a 6 or 7 year old alone for any length of time???? How hard is it to put them in the car and take them with you? It's not teaching them independence, it's irresponsible.

My children and their safety and well-being are my number one priority, not ensuring I can get to work and 'popping to the shops for 5 mins'.

I am truly horrified by some if the responses I have read on the his thread. Shame on some of you.


i actually agree with you, although i dont agree with your later post that children under 16 years shouldn't be left overnight.

d..

The guidance I quoted if from nidirect.gov.uk, it's not my own opinion (just incase anybody wanted to have a look) :thumbup:
 
I would not leave a child who is still at school (under 16) home alone over night.
 
i used to baby sit my sister when i was in high school, but i cant remember exactly what age i was, i was also about 13 - 14 when i would baby sit my 2 cousins while their parents were on a night out, i would stay over but they came back early hours. My sister is 16, and has been baby sitting since she was 15..

ETA i was also about 15 when my parents left me at home for the weekend with my at the time boyf
 
I would not leave a child who is still at school (under 16) home alone over night.

Me either. Me and my sister was left at 16 and 17 and that was bad enough at times. I was the mature one too so I defiently wouldn't be leaving mine no matter how mature or not.

Maybe for a few hours in the evening but certainly not the whole night on their own.
 
16? Honestly you couldn't leave your 16 year old alone for one night?!!

I had moved out by then! Lol
 
I also moved out at 16. But,until I left school,I was my parents responsibility and I cant think of any reason why you need to leave a school child over nighy!?
 
I was first left over night when I was 14, well my mum went to work (7pm-7am) and my dad lived in Budapest. She worked 10 minutes away and our neighbours always popped in about 9pm to 'check up'. I often sat over at there's for an hour or so too. So I don't know if that counts.

It would depend on the child for me. I'd leave a 15YO alone if needs be. If they had the maturity level that I did.

I was 15 when I was left for 2 nights (Wed and Thurs), I got myself up for school and came home for dinner etc. But my was dying and my dad hadn't made it home from Hungary in time. When I was 15 I looked after my 12 year old sister. Again, our neighbors were just next door and my sister stayed round there house up until bed time.
 
I very seriously hope that for some of the judgement being cast around you all still remain lucky enough to afford childcare and a job and never leave your children even for five minutes. Because i know damn well i wouldn't be able to. At 12 if i need to pop to the shops, i'd be happy, providing they were mature enough, to leave my two alone. At 16 i'd be happy to leave them for longer periods provided they were mature. I survived it all just fine, i knew how to work the phone and who to call. Perhaps the fact there is NO law on it should say everything it needs to.

Not being able to afford childcare doesn't make it okay to let a seven year old child to make their way to/from school alone and stay at home alone for hours without supervision. There is just no justification for being home alone at that age for any length of time because regardless of how independent that child may be there are just so many things that could potentially go wrong with that situation!

Evidently there are cultural differences in what is and isn't acceptable. The fact that there is NO law doesn't say everything it needs to. Would it be okay to leave a three year old home alone just because the law says it's okay? No, I don't think so. Seven years old is soooooo young!! It is unfortunate that there aren't enough after school provisions in these instances, a real bad shame actually!

And no one has said they wouldn't leave their child for five minutes, I think pretty much everyone that has contributed to the thread has said yes they would leave their child at X age for X amount of time.
 
I know this is a completely different situation. However I was left in the house for 3 hours by myself when I was 7 or 8, fairly regularly while my mum attended classes. However it was on a fenced base and I couldn't leave the base (about 3milesx2miles) unless I showed ID etc. In that time I used to walk to the shop regularly, go to the library, visit my dad in his office etc. It wasn't even blinked at. I hated military life, but it was one of the perks.

Naively, I really wish that was how real life was...
 
16? Honestly you couldn't leave your 16 year old alone for one night?!!

I had moved out by then! Lol

16? maybe I'll see when I get there. Under 16? No, there still a child and personally I won't be leaving any of my children alone for the night. I don't really see any need to to be honest?
 
16? Honestly you couldn't leave your 16 year old alone for one night?!!

I had moved out by then! Lol

16? maybe I'll see when I get there. Under 16? No, there still a child and personally I won't be leaving any of my children alone for the night. I don't really see any need to to be honest?

Well, I can think of plenty of reasons for a night away without a 15 year old in tow!

Probably be shamed now for not wanting to stay home and bake cookies and tuck my 15 year old into bed! :rofl:

What about if your kids want to go on holiday without you? Most kids around here go away for a week at the beginning of year 11 unsupervised. So that would be 15/16
 
16? Honestly you couldn't leave your 16 year old alone for one night?!!

I had moved out by then! Lol

16? maybe I'll see when I get there. Under 16? No, there still a child and personally I won't be leaving any of my children alone for the night. I don't really see any need to to be honest?

Well, I can think of plenty of reasons for a night away without a 15 year old in tow!

Probably be shamed now for not wanting to stay home and bake cookies and tuck my 15 year old into bed! :rofl:

What about if your kids want to go on holiday without you? Most kids around here go away for a week at the beginning of year 11 unsupervised. So that would be 15/16

Its not like that at all. No one is saying dont go out, get a sitter or they stay with relatives or a friends place. Same as you would with younger children. Why donthe children go away 'unsupervised?' Im guessing they are responsibility of the school at the time which is probably safeguarded.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Members online

Latest posts

Forum statistics

Threads
1,650,285
Messages
27,143,900
Members
255,746
Latest member
coco.g
Back
Top
monitoring_string = "c48fb0faa520c8dfff8c4deab485d3d2"
<-- Admiral -->