When IVF fails - please join for support

[boobear2872]

Just wanted to pop in. After two tries not making it to ivf, having hard time. We have another try and the doc is pushing doner eggs so. We are talking about it.

 

[boobear2872]

Just wanted to pop in. After two tries not making it to ivf, having hard time. We have another try and the doc is pushing doner eggs so. We are talking about it.

 

[Mrs W 11]

Jaybo I can't believe given that we are the same age and if I remember rightly have very similar amh (mine was 3 in November) that we have got such different responses from the same clinic?! Who are you seeing?

I haven't been told to get my amh retested? I asked about the dhea as its on their website and they said to me there is no evidence because it hasn't been tested but alot of people do say it works and so they said I had nothing to loose by trying it. I plan to start the pill on my June af and ivf will happen in July. Are you starting pill in July?

Bono bear I'm sorry to read this. Donor egg has also been mentioned to me although I will try at least one more cycle with my own eggs, if not two depending on how my response is on my next try. But I've already decided that if after two more tries with my eggs, by the end of this year if I'm not pregnant I will use a donor. I just want more children and I will do whatever it takes. Sending hugs to you.

Xx

 

[Jaybo]

BMW – so glad to hear you managed to get out and enjoy yourself and take your mind off things for a little bit. It’s so easy to forget what live outside of infertility looks like. I'm really trying to force myself to go out a bit more recently.

Boobear – so sorry your cycle didn’t work out. Thinking about using DE is a difficult one. How do you feel about it? Me and DH have spoken about it as a next step if this doesn't work, but couldn’t come to a decision so have just parked it for now until we find out how things go.

MrsW – I know, this was how I felt too after the appointment. We’re in almost exactly the same situation regarding age, amh, attempts at treatment, but seem to have been told completely different things. We saw Mr T0lba and really liked him, but I have to say I was completely shocked too at first that we got such different responses about how they are going to approach our treatment. I had my AMH tested in Nov too, so I don’t think it was necessary to retest it, but I can’t help but be terrified that it’s dropped even further.

I’ll keep you posted on when we get a starting date but I'm hoping we will start with my June cycle too. Have you got another appointment or did they give you your meds and schedule on your first visit?

 

[Mrs W 11]

Jaybo it will be interesting to see if our protocols and treatment are the same as I guess that's the really important thing? Fingers crossed your amh hasn't dropped much if at all. Remember though its just a number, ladies with less than 1 have got pregnant before.

I got my prescriptions at my first appointment so I need to go and get my pill first and ill get the rest a bit closer to the time. I am still trying not to think about it at all until June. It looks like we might be moving house in June as well so it's going to be a busy time!!

I agree the donor egg (or sperm) is a very hard decision to come to terms with and I am glad they insist on counselling. Obviously I know it will be hard if that's the route we have to take, I will need and will take the counselling but in my heart of hearts I know I will do it if I need to. I desperately want another pregnancy, more babies. I really wanted 3 and I know the chances are, even if I'm lucky with my own eggs I will only get one more baby, whereas if we do go donor ill be able to have 2 more kids. The only thing is I'd want the same donor for both so we will have to wait and see what life brings us!

Have a nice bank holiday weekend.

 

[Comfycushions]

Hi everyone:wave: Hope you've all had a good weekend. I've, for the first time in years, got bank holiday Monday off and I'm hoping to have some fun in the intermittent sunshine!

Bmw, that's great you got to go out and have a laugh. Any semblance of a 'normal' happy existence needs grasping when it pops up. Hopefully you'll have more and more days like that.

Mrsw, wow not long till your move, how exciting! Also you're new cycle will be here so soon. Keeping everything crossed for you.

Jaybo, keeping everything crossed for you too. It really is odd how different the ideas of two docs within the same clinic are. Hopefully all you and mrsw need to get your babies will be provided by the top hat establishment.

Boo, I hope you're getting some clarity as to how you feel about pursuing donor eggs. A really difficult decision I'm sure.

Lizzie, hope you're doing OK. (Well I hope you're doing fabulously but that might be pushing it.)

Afm still trying to take each day as it comes. Been keeping up the exercise regime. Went to yoga on Friday. The two people in front of me were pregnant, the teacher was pregnant and just as we went into relaxation someone dashed over to tell the person next to me that someone they knew was pregnant. WTF! I was lying in savasanna silently sobbing. Rushed out of there and spent the rest of the day loudly sobbing Not going to that class again Made it back to the gym yesterday though. So well done me!!

 

[lizzie78]

Comfy - you are doing so well with the exercise but oh my goodness I can't (well I can because life sucks like that!) believe what happened at your yoga class! Similar thing happened to me in the Burger King queue at the services on Friday night (blush lol). I genuinely think everyone except me (well and you lovely ladies) really is pregnant or dying to discuss someone who is at the moment - grrr!! Hope you are feeling better after a couple of days Comfy and I totally agree don't touch that class with a barge pole!

Sorry I havent been keeping up so well with what has been going on but Mrs W when are you moving??

Jaybo and Mrs W it's great that you both have plans even if the difference seems a little odd! June is only around the corner.

Boobear, take your time and keep posting here when you are ready.

BMW how are you sweetie?

Nobump - how did you get on with the consultant last week? I keep thinking about you xxx

Sorry if i've missed anyone, trying to post before the office fills up as this website isnt exactly discreet!!

Cautiously I think I might have turned a corner over the last few days. I'm still sad, scared and confused but feel like i've lifted up a little bit. I still havent sorted diet or exercise out but am going to the Army Navy game at Twickenham this weekend with DH so it seems a bit pointless this week since that will be a full day drinkathon. Next week though!! I can start my final cycle after 3 bleeds and have just had my second. I can't imagine being ready to go again in another 6 weeks though so will delay that I think. I feel terrified at the thought of another cycle and at the thought of another cycle not working so need to get my head sorted and clear before being ready to give it a crack I think. Had a nice BH weekend actually, DH and I went to the caravan and just lazed around. Well I had a migraine and he's put his back out lol so we didnt have much choice but tentatively I feel like we might have reconnected a little bit - fingers crossed a day back in the real world doesnt put an end to that!

xxx

 

[SoCal Girl]

Hey girls! I just went thru my first cycle of IVF, and it failed...got a BFN test last week.

I've got one frostie waiting for me, my next step is to do an FET, but if that doesn't work, probably in July or August I will have to do a whole new fresh cycle.

In the meantime, I'm loading up on supplements that should help me produce better quality eggs and help with my fertility overall. I'm taking things like CoQ10, L-Arginine & L-Ornithine, and quite a few others. Also loading up on these extra vitamins and minerals should help by reducing the chances of miscarriage and should encourage much healthier & stronger fetal development.

Anyone else taking supplements to help with your baby making?

 

[beneathmywing]

SoCal -- Sorry about the BFN We all know in here how hard it is. Hope your frostie is your baby!!!


Lizzie -- Hi, Lovey I'm okay... Just okay. I have my days still. Mother's Day is coming up in the States and that was going to be my announcing day to the fam.. would have been 12 weeks on Monday. I am pretty bummed

Are you doing a FE? Did your RE tell you you had to wait three bleeds? Mine said I could do a FE next AF after my D&C and was actually surprised I could try again so soon. My chromosome testing on the embryo showed it was chromosomally normal =( so my RE wants me to do autoimmune testing and blood clotting blood work once my HCG goes down to zero, which will be hopefully next week so not sure when my FE will be now, hopefully soon though.


Comfy -- Sorry about your yoga session, hun! Some situations are just TOO hard to be in. I had to deny an invitation to my cousin's daughter's first birthday party next month. I just can't do that to myself, especially right now.


Mrs W & Jaybo -- If I get to transfer in June-ish we may all be cycle buddies yet again? Maybe we will bring each other luck this time! FX!


Boobear -- Lots of hugs to you sweety

 

[lizzie78]

Hi Socal

BMW for you too, mothers day is so hard. It was the UK version just after I miscarried Sending lots of love. I'll be interested to hear how you get on with the testing as I'm in a complete quandry about it at the moment.

It's 3.5K for the tests here plus 2.5K for the FET and our clinic havent really advised us to go for them as yet but this is my last chance, DH is adamant no more IVF after this next go. The clinic say that after 2 early MC it's more likely to be down to embryo quality but ive read conflicting things about that. I'm already being treated for clotting issues becasue I had DVT so the level 1s wouldnt tell me much, its the level 2s that are more likely to show something. Problem is we dont really have the 3K for the tests so do i just go with the clinic and hope that embryos have been flawed or risk completely alienating DH by insisting we find the money for the tests when they might all come up fine - sigh.

My clinic do insist on 3 bleeds but only because they like to know that the body is as back to normal as possible. It varies I guess but it makes sense for me as I want to feel like i have put the previous cycle behind me before trying again.

 

[nobump]

Boobear sorry for you failed cycles. My counselor talked to us about donnor eggs, but we have decided against going down that route, but I appreciated what she said, about whether you would accept a lung/kidney transplat etc..

Comfycushions, hope you enjoyed the bank holiday, the yoga class sounds like a sketch from a comedy show, only it's not funny. I would steer clear of it as well.

Lizzie, good to hear you are starting to feel better, agree it is good idea to look to start your new regime after the army / navy game. The cost for your test and FET are expensive... can you get anything done on the NHS? Or do you have any private insurance that can help?

I had my hysteroscopy and d&c yesterday, bit crampy and tired today. Doc had said he wasn't able to remove the whole fibroid and is recommending I get treated by another gynae who is an IVF specialist, will await the letter and will phone my insurance to sort out the next procedure. The other procedure removes the fybroid in sections. Part of me is wondering why I am going through this, when I am undecided on our next move. Feel like I am running out of time... was not expecting to have to have another op.

SoCal Girl, sorry for you lost, FX for you frostie.

Mrs W, good luck for June, at lest you have a bit of time to pack and get organised for your move.

BMW, how are you?

 

[beneathmywing]

Boobear sorry for you failed cycles. My counselor talked to us about donnor eggs, but we have decided against going down that route, but I appreciated what she said, about whether you would accept a lung/kidney transplat etc..

Comfycushions, hope you enjoyed the bank holiday, the yoga class sounds like a sketch from a comedy show, only it's not funny. I would steer clear of it as well.

Lizzie, good to hear you are starting to feel better, agree it is good idea to look to start your new regime after the army / navy game. The cost for your test and FET are expensive... can you get anything done on the NHS? Or do you have any private insurance that can help?

I had my hysteroscopy and d&c yesterday, bit crampy and tired today. Doc had said he wasn't able to remove the whole fibroid and is recommending I get treated by another gynae who is an IVF specialist, will await the letter and will phone my insurance to sort out the next procedure. The other procedure removes the fybroid in sections. Part of me is wondering why I am going through this, when I am undecided on our next move. Feel like I am running out of time... was not expecting to have to have another op.

SoCal Girl, sorry for you lost, FX for you frostie.

Mrs W, good luck for June, at lest you have a bit of time to pack and get organised for your move.

BMW, how are you?

Hope you recover well from the D&C Sorry you are looking at another procedure! All this sucks so much.

I'm okay.. This weekend coming hurts. I was going to announce being pregnant on Mother's day (states) as I'd be 12 weeks on Monday. I think maybe once I pass that hurdle I can start to heal or attempt to.

 

[nobump]

Bmw hope the weekend isn't as bad as you are thinking it will be. Significant dates alwats hurt. xxx

 

[Comfycushions]

Hi socal, welcome. Sorry for your bfn. Hope things work out differently with your frosty cycle. I'm not taking anything for fertility any more as I'm hoping to reconcile with living child free (having said that we bd a few times around ov this month-giving up on th dream is so tricky !)

Lizzie that's great that you've been feeling a bit better and that you and dh had a good time at your caravan. Good for you!

Bmw I hope you're able to find somethings to distract you this weekend and that it passes quickly for you.

Nobump sorry you have to face another op, that's just rubbish.
I agree the yoga debacle was like some sort of comedy farce scene! In fact it almost seems funny to me now (in quite a dark way) it was so ludicrous.

Afm not really sure what to do with myself this weekend. Ho hum.

 

[Jaybo]

Hi girls,

How is everyone doing? Hope you are enjoying the weekend.

Comfy that yoga class sounds like hell! Poor you Yes stay well clear in the future. I bottled out of a birthday lunch with a group of friends yesterday as there are two with young babies and two more expecting and it just feels a little but like rubbing salt in the wounds, we just don’t need it at the moment!

Lizzy glad you’re starting to feel a bit better. How was the ruby yesterday? We live quite near the stadium and my brother goes every year, but I’ve never made it along. Sounds like a fun day. I don’t feel ready at all either, I’m just planning on taking each day at a time this time and not thinking (hoping) too far ahead, if that makes sense.

BMW How are you doing sweetie, hope your hanging in there this weekend. Mothers day is never easy but after everything you’ve been through this year it’s not surprising you’re feeling like this. At least it’s done and dusted for another 12 months after this and hopefully next year we’ll all be in a better place then.

How exciting if we’re going to be cycle buddies again!

Hi Solcal, sorry about your BFN. Good luck for your FET. I’m just taking prenatal vitamins this time around.

Nobump, hope you are recovering ok from your D&C. Sorry to hear they’re having to have another operation. Is your plan to do another full cycle or FET in the future? It’s all so difficult with the time and money we lose going through all of this.

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

AFM, got my next appointment at the top hat clinic next week and excited and apprehensions about the next steps, and jumping on the rollercoaster again.
xxx

 

[Mrs W 11]

Hi ladies,

I'm having a bit of a bad weekend baby wise most of the time I think I'm doing ok and then this weekend I found out one person is pregnant but never even bothered to get in touch and tell me which really hurt me, and another good friend, whose son is a year younger than my daughter is pregnant with no 2, and she's 6 months pregnant! I just hate that she's hidden it for me for so long, clearly feeling sorry for me and hoping I might announce a pregnancy before she had to tell me. Ugh. This is so so so so hard.

Jaybo, hope you appointment goes well, fingers crossed your amh has stayed the same or even improved a bit, sometimes it can do. Enjoy your appointment at the top hat clinic!! I'm thinking about delaying my cycle as it looks like we are going to be moving mid July and if I start the pill early June that will coincide with egg collection etc, would be really stressful. So better to wait till we are in the new house and I can be relaxed, no job to stress about etc.

BMW how you doing lovely. Hope Mother's Day hasn't been too tough for you. Thinking of you. I agree once big dates you are dreading pass you can start to move on. It really will get easier with time although you never forget of course xx

Nobump, sorry to hear of all you are going through my love, when is your next procedure? It will all be worth it in the end but I understand how tough it must be and am thinking of you.

Lizzie nice to hear from you, glad you are feeling a little better. I seem to take 3 steps forward and then 1 or 2 back but we are moving forwards all the same, albeit slowly and painfully.

Comfy how was your weekend in the end did you do much? The yoga class sounds horrible. Sorry my lovely

We've started packing for our big move and all of my dd baby stuff is just in bin bags in the loft. We've got it all down because i had kept everything assuming I'd need it soon and I need to sort through and save favourite stuff and get rid of the rest and then box it up in big plastic containers. I'm not looking forward to it and know there will be some tears.

Anyway, I'm busy at work next week so that will make time go faster I hope. Lots of hugs to you all xxx

 

[Jaybo]

Hi MrsW sorry you've had a difficult few days. that's horrible to think that your friend was keeping her pregnancy from you, even if it was well intentioned and she didn't want to hurt your feelings.This time we've decided not to tell anyone we're trying again, because the few people we did tell last time just became awkward around us talking about babies or pregnancies. One friend even told us about her second pregnancy in a Christmas card as she said she didn't know how to tell me in person, it really upset me. Urgh it's all so tough.

I think you've made the right decision delaying starting until after your move. That does sound a bit stressful to do both at once!

My appointment at the top hat clinic went well. Although to my disappointment the guy at the front wasn't wearing his hat!! do you think I can ask for my money back?!

I was completely shocked to find out my amh had gone up to 7 pmol (from 2.4), still low but I'll take that, and my afc was 9. Which is more then it was after 10 days of stims. My body is so confusing! Dr suggested we start this month but I'm so busy at work throughout June we've decided to start on my next cycle. Gosh it's all starting to feel very real again!

Hope everyone else is doing ok. *

 

[Comfycushions]

Hi ladies, hope everyone is doing good.

Mrs w sorry to hear you had a few upsetting baby related days.I'm quite lucky I suppose in that of my 5 best female friends 3 of them are childless by choice/circumstance. While they can't really get their heads round what I'm going through they're very unlikely to confront me with baby bumps.
Hope everything is progressing smoothly with the move, that you've manged to sort through the baby stuff in the loft so that upsetting experience is now behind you and that you'll soon be settled in your lovely new house and in a good place ready to cycle again.

Jaybo that is awesome news about your amh and afc. Shonky performance though that top hat was missing! I can't believe it's nearly time for your next cycle, seems have come round so quickly. I'm really hopeful for you

Afm had a mopey few weeks of the oh poor me I wanted to be a mummy variety. Still been hauling myself to the gym though (apart from the yoga class of fertiles obviously!). I've still got a stubborn pouch of lower belly fat, grr, but in two weeks time I'll be bearing it on a sunny beach in greece regardless! . Here's hoping there wont be too many kids at the hotel and dh and I can enjoy some much needed quality time together without me being sad (feeling a bit guilty about it)

Much love to everyone. xx

 

[Nelly special]

Hi everyone, thanks for joining. Really hoping this can be a place we can chat and try and help each other through the tough times. Totally agree, infertility is just absolutely heartbreaking, it's been such a huge shock to me asi got pregnant very easily with my dd and my mmc to now find out my amh is so low I may never have another baby

Plex - I'm just about to have a glass of wine now! I've heard about people going abroad for treatment, is it cheaper than the uk? Have they said why your first cycle may have failed or was it perhaps bad luck?

Boo bear I'm so sorry to hear about your cycle. I hope you get some answers at your follow up as to why your ovaries reacted like this. Maybe there is another stim drug they can try you on?

Wanbmum is there a reason for your infertility or unexplained? Don't give up lovely, if they have recommended iui you must still have a great chance for pregnancy, it wasn't even an option for me.

Jillie I'm so sorry to hear your fet failed. Do you have any more frosties? Take some time to look after yourself. Your little miracle was worth the tough journey and your next one will be too.

Plex my next step is that I have an appointment at the lister next week in London as they specialise in low amh so I want to see what they say. I also have my follow up appointment at my clinic next week too. We plan to see what they say but we will only try max a year or 2 more ivfs with my eggs before moving to donor. Xx

I just had my first ivf cycle, I went to the hospital at exactly 12pm today n it came out Negative! 😥😥 God help me

 

[beneathmywing]

Sorry, Nelly