Why are people so ignorant about registries???

[socitycourty]

my sister's friend is on her 3rd baby and has a huge registry. she's registered for a $300 pump. I mean, you could anticipate these expenses before you get pregnant for the 3rd time.

 

[Dk1234]

I think that is super tacky. Registries are for first babies. I am embarrassed for her.

 

[Foogirl]

What's the difference in asking for gifts for one baby, or asking for each baby? Surely the point is so you don't get multiples of the same thing, and people don't only buy gifts for the first baby.

I'd say any prospective parent should have an idea of what they need to buy whether it be the first or the fifth pregnancy.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

What's the difference in asking for gifts for one baby, or asking for each baby? Surely the point is so you don't get multiples of the same thing, and people don't only buy gifts for the first baby.

I'd say any prospective parent should have an idea of what they need to buy whether it be the first or the fifth pregnancy.

I agree!

 

[Andypanda6570]

Usually you only have a baby shower for one baby. I had my first 2 sons in 91 and 94 ( 1991 was my first shower didn't have another one for my other son in 1994). My friend surprised me with my 2nd baby shower ( I didn't want one, but I didn't know she did it) she only did it , cause my 3rd son was born 10 yrs. later. Usually another baby shower is only given if it is given at all if the baby is born 10 yrs. plus. By the time my 3rd son came 10 yrs. later I didn't have anymore baby stuff, I never thought I would have another. I would have never put all those expensive items on my registry . My stroller and car-seat was bought by my MIL and my father, all the rest of the stuff was not expensive and most people teamed up together to buy one gift. I wouldn't really care if I got 3 of the same thing or 300, it is the thought that they took the time to do it for me. All you have to do is return them and get what you need. People will buy what they want , you can't really do anything about that.

 

[smileyfaces]

What's the difference in asking for gifts for one baby, or asking for each baby? Surely the point is so you don't get multiples of the same thing, and people don't only buy gifts for the first baby.

I'd say any prospective parent should have an idea of what they need to buy whether it be the first or the fifth pregnancy.

Absolutely! There is no difference in my eyes.

 

[Dk1234]

I'm the difference is everyone Lready bought you everything. You have a registry with your first because you don't have any baby stuff. I'm sorry but I think registries are awesome but I'm not even big on a baby shower for a second child def not if it is the same sex and recent. If that person had a registry in it I would not use it. A registry is so people know what you need. It's very tacky. That would be like registering for a second wedding.

 

[aliss]

Baby shower for a non-first child is a divided etiquette here in North America, most would agree it is quite tacky. Some don't.

 

[Dk1234]

Also if you do have a second shower, you def shouldn't be involved in it. Just polite since it will likely be the same people will be coming and you've already recieved something from them. A registry would be very obvious that you were involved in the shower.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I have a 7yr age gap and we have just brought everything lol.

 

[Foogirl]

But if you don't have anything as a first parent, you go out and buy it. I can't believe there is a "tradition" which is there to provide all you need for your first baby, so that you don't have to. Surely the tradition started because people wanted to buy gifts, to congratulate the parents. The only reason it has morphed into a ruthless equipment gathering affair is because people weren't appreciative enough of the things they were getting.

 

[aliss]

^Well over here it's kind of like a wedding - you buy stuff for the new couple to furnish their new home (although I'm sure most of us were already living together lol), whereas with new parents, you furnish for their new baby. Very similar concept.

 

[Foogirl]

Yeah, but as you say, we still do it even though a couple live together - and have all the stuff. And presumably you still do it if you marry twice? So why is it alright for a first baby but not for a second or third? That's what I don't get,

 

[aliss]

I don't know lo!! It's an arbitrary etiquette for sure. I didn't have any showers! I didn't want the attention/drama.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I don't know lo!! It's an arbitrary etiquette for sure. I didn't have any showers! I didn't want the attention/drama.

haha I am the same, I would be terrible!

 

[socitycourty]

Most people I have known here do not have registries for a second or anything after that wedding.....same for babies. Although it does seem like a gift grab. I had an invitation to a shower last month that said, bring a package of diapers if you want to be entered in a raffle. So they wanted a gift from their registry and a bag of diapers....for their 2nd baby.

I would be mortified if someone sent out an invitation like that on my behalf.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I always cringe at the thought of writing a registry instructing people on what to buy for a baby. The expectation I find is rather rude tbh. I had a mini shower at work when I went on maternity leave with Oliver. They gave me a hand made hamper. The box was just a cardboard box painted. In it it had nappies,wipes,baby bath things, cotton buds, soap, hand flannel etc. And do you know what? It meant SO much because they had put a lot of time and effort into thinking for a gift and preparing it. Rather than looking at a registry and clicking 'buy'. To get upset because someone hasn't brought what you wanted is very ungratfeul in my opinon. People shouldn't rely on others to buy things for their baby. They should buy what they need and be grateful for any presents received. Besides it's always good to have extra's with a newborn if you get two of something x

 

[Dk1234]

I would find it ultra tacky if someone registered for a second wedding unless neither of them had had a first wedding where guests were inviting and they registered. Its not just baby showers. The point of registering is so people know what you need. If I was rich, I wouldn't register. Kim kardashian registered for her wedding, I mean seriously??? The point of a shower is for people to help you set up for your new life. The "It takes a village principle" if you've done it before you shouldn't need help and it isn't a new life.

 

[patooti]

The point of a shower is for people to help you set up for your new life. The "It takes a village principle" if you've done it before you shouldn't need help and it isn't a new life.

That's why I think I find the concept of showers, especially large ones or multiple ones or ones where people invite everyone they possibly know, kind of tacky... personally. The idea that my friends, relatives and distant relatives should "set me up" for my new life that I decided to embark on is just presumptuous to me. I prefer gift giving to be a spontaneous thing.

I'm perfectly happy for my "village" to give me stuff if they feel like it and if they don't or can't I really would rather avoid inviting them to join in on something that makes them feel obligated to do so. Just the way I am. Huge showers and massive registries though, do seriously offend me when I get an invite for one to say one of husband's work colleagues that he doesn't even know that well or spend ANY time with outside of work. I mean really? You need me to buy you a designer rattle? ummm... no thanks.

 

[Foogirl]

Oh the "village principle" is the reason? Shame that principle doesn't extend to universal healthcare...