Why are people so ignorant about registries???

[aliss]

June. I just can't imagine being a grandmother at 32. Actually, I look at my kid and think "if I was June right now, you'd be my grandchild". Holy heck.

I think she had her oldest at 15 yrs. old. The father is only Alana's biological father . My MIL became a Grandmother at 43 and I thought that was young, 32 is really young.

43 is young!!!!!!!

I'm starting to feel old being on BnB there are moms here that are much younger than my baby sister and I just think....... gosh I'm gonna need a walker soon.

YOU feel old, what about me??????? I am 42 I am ancient you are not old. Funny I don't feel old, but I am............ Yea i guess 43 is young, I would love to be a young grandma but I don't think that will happen.

Oh well you never know what mischief your boys might be up to soon enough

 

[Andypanda6570]

June. I just can't imagine being a grandmother at 32. Actually, I look at my kid and think "if I was June right now, you'd be my grandchild". Holy heck.

I think she had her oldest at 15 yrs. old. The father is only Alana's biological father . My MIL became a Grandmother at 43 and I thought that was young, 32 is really young.

43 is young!!!!!!!

I'm starting to feel old being on BnB there are moms here that are much younger than my baby sister and I just think....... gosh I'm gonna need a walker soon.

YOU feel old, what about me??????? I am 42 I am ancient you are not old. Funny I don't feel old, but I am............ Yea i guess 43 is young, I would love to be a young grandma but I don't think that will happen.

Oh well you never know what mischief your boys might be up to soon enough

I would welcome it I know that is terrible. My 18 yr old did have a scare, he is with his girlfriend of 3 yrs and he confided in me that they though she may be, I said oh I will take care of the baby for you both he looked at me like I was a NUTBAG. My husband was mad at me, I did tell him to use protection and they do now, I guess after Loosing a baby I just want another one in my arms, I really wouldn't mind, but her mother would

 

[fidgets mammy]

I think it depends what ur definition of tacky is.

 

[staralfur]

June. I just can't imagine being a grandmother at 32. Actually, I look at my kid and think "if I was June right now, you'd be my grandchild". Holy heck.

I think she had her oldest at 15 yrs. old. The father is only Alana's biological father . My MIL became a Grandmother at 43 and I thought that was young, 32 is really young.

43 is young!!!!!!!

I'm starting to feel old being on BnB there are moms here that are much younger than my baby sister and I just think....... gosh I'm gonna need a walker soon.

I feel old on BNB sometimes and I'm 24.

 

[aliss]

June. I just can't imagine being a grandmother at 32. Actually, I look at my kid and think "if I was June right now, you'd be my grandchild". Holy heck.

I think she had her oldest at 15 yrs. old. The father is only Alana's biological father . My MIL became a Grandmother at 43 and I thought that was young, 32 is really young.

43 is young!!!!!!!

I'm starting to feel old being on BnB there are moms here that are much younger than my baby sister and I just think....... gosh I'm gonna need a walker soon.

I feel old on BNB sometimes and I'm 24.

Haha!! I miss 24... what was I doing at 24... oh yes, traveling the world and complaining I only got 9 hours sleep after drinking all night......... I had a 6 pack and spent $500-1000 a month on clothes (size TWO clothes). Gawd I miss 24.

 

[emyandpotato]

June. I just can't imagine being a grandmother at 32. Actually, I look at my kid and think "if I was June right now, you'd be my grandchild". Holy heck.

I think she had her oldest at 15 yrs. old. The father is only Alana's biological father . My MIL became a Grandmother at 43 and I thought that was young, 32 is really young.

43 is young!!!!!!!

I'm starting to feel old being on BnB there are moms here that are much younger than my baby sister and I just think....... gosh I'm gonna need a walker soon.

I feel old on BNB sometimes and I'm 24.

Haha!! I miss 24... what was I doing at 24... oh yes, traveling the world and complaining I only got 9 hours sleep after drinking all night......... I had a 6 pack and spent $500-1000 a month on clothes (size TWO clothes). Gawd I miss 24.

I so hope this will be me at 24. Just, you know, with a four year old in tow...

 

[Jess137]

I didn't put anything about gifts or money or where I was registered on my bridal shower or wedding invites, and I'll ask the people having my baby showers not to put those things on those invites either. Personally I just don't like it. I still register but generally people ask where you're registered anyway without putting it on the invitations like you're asking for gifts.

 

[robinator]

^^^I didn't put it on my invites, either. Even though it's tradition, it felt awkward to actually put it out there. People will ask if they want to know

 

[Jess137]

That's how I feel

 

[zanDark]

People are so selfish to think they should be able to just buy what THEY want. Why??? It's not your baby, so why can't you buy what mommy and daddy have already decided on what WE want and need??? For all of you who say it's being ungrateful and rude, you obviously don't have the same traditions as we do here.

we have registries in Greece for weddings...I'm sorry but calling someone selfish for spending their hard earned money on a gift for your baby is beyond rude!

I refused to do a registry for my wedding and bought everything we wanted...opening gifts that people spent time and money on was a wonderful experience, even when some of them were things we didn't need!

Be GRATEFUL that people care enough about your baby to buy presents...and if you don't like something exchange it instead of throwing a hissy fit.

Seriously...how self centered can people be to call others selfish for buying them gifts? Sheesh

 

[aliss]

June. I just can't imagine being a grandmother at 32. Actually, I look at my kid and think "if I was June right now, you'd be my grandchild". Holy heck.

I think she had her oldest at 15 yrs. old. The father is only Alana's biological father . My MIL became a Grandmother at 43 and I thought that was young, 32 is really young.

43 is young!!!!!!!

I'm starting to feel old being on BnB there are moms here that are much younger than my baby sister and I just think....... gosh I'm gonna need a walker soon.

I feel old on BNB sometimes and I'm 24.

Haha!! I miss 24... what was I doing at 24... oh yes, traveling the world and complaining I only got 9 hours sleep after drinking all night......... I had a 6 pack and spent $500-1000 a month on clothes (size TWO clothes). Gawd I miss 24.

I so hope this will be me at 24. Just, you know, with a four year old in tow...

Hey, at least you will appreciate it!!!!! Our friends had their kids at 20 and now we're at home with toddler'/baby while they can leave their now 12 year olds with grandma for a week and go to cuba alone!!!!!! You'll get the last laugh

 

[fannyadams]

Haven't got time to read whole thread but how ungrateful can you get?
If I was your friend you would be getting sod all off me!

 

[x Michelle x]

I don't get them, i kinda think its greedy of people to make a list and just expect people to buy them stuff? But then as previously mentioned gift registries aren't that big over here.

 

[DLA]

Don't get why people can't understand that cultures differ. There is nothing tacky, rude, or ungrateful about having a registry. I've been to more showers than I count from the age of 10! It's a right of passage and I guarantee if I had my shower and didn't register somewhere, my friends and family would be annnoyed and not know what to do. It's just the way it is. That being said, I was grateful for every gift I received, whether it was off my registry or not.

 

[fannyadams]

Nothing tacky, rude or ungrateful about a registry no.
But the calling of other gifts 'useless crap' and generally slagging people off if they buy something different or dare bother her with a question is IMO extremely rude and ungrateful hence my comment.

 

[ooSweetPea]

I just can't get past OP's 'it's tradition' here comment - showers and registries are tradition, but the attitude of self entitlement is not. I am glad that the majority of others commenting had the sense to not tar all us US girls with the same brush

During my first pregnancy with DS I had pretty severe complications throughout and I started bedrest at 20 weeks. After discussion with my family we decided to not have a baby shower before he was born - partly because I was bed bound and partly because I had no idea when he would be coming! Thankfully my husband and I were of the mindset that since it was US bringing a baby into the world that we would need to be prepared to purchase all our own baby gear so it wasn't a hard concept to have to get fully prepared without a shower first - I will admit it was difficult buying everything ourselves because I wasn't working and normally worked 40 hrs a week up until bedrest, but we managed and honestly even if there was a planned shower before he was born I don't think I could have 'relied' on it to get us the things we needed as I am SUCH a planner and it would've made me crazy!

I did do a registry while I was on bedrest and actually used it as a list of things we needed to get before baby came, and it was so satisfying to tick things off the list as we got them (thank god for online shopping and free shipping!) - and by the time DS came at 35 weeks we were more than prepared and there was barely anything left on my registry. We ended up having a 'meet the baby' shower afterwards with a ton of family and friends and some bought the remaining items and many did their own thing - and those 'extra' things were just as lovely to receive.

I will say it did help put things into perspective when the baby is actually THERE at the 'shower' as you realize WHY the shower is happening in the first place and it isn't just a gift grab - especially after being told at 20 weeks to expect the worst. I really cherished each and every gift that the guests put their thought and time into because to me the biggest gift was that he was safely in my arms and everything else was a bonus!

Maybe thinking about things from a different point of view will soften your heart towards your guests a little and create a little peace. It sucks when things don't go as expected when you put time and effort into something, but realize that no one went out and picked something up and thought 'she'd really hate this - I'm getting it!' just to spite you. Trust me I've gotten some doozies for gifts in the past but somehow those are the gifts that are never forgotten and create good memories.

Trust me once you have your bundle in your arms all this shower business will seem insignificant anyways, I promise!

 

[PepsiChic]

I don't get them, i kinda think its greedy of people to make a list and just expect people to buy them stuff? But then as previously mentioned gift registries aren't that big over here.

no one EXPECTS anything, thats the point! A gift registery is to help people that are choosing to give a gift what the mum-to-be might need. Its not a requirment of a baby shower, and certainly shouldnt be expected.

Its more of a guideline "if your going to get me something but dont know what to get this list has a few things on it mummy would appreciate"

not

"heres a list of things that everyone coming to the baby shower has to go and buy me"

 

[Dk1234]

I loved a lot of things that werent on my registries but that being said I am so glad I had a son because my friend had a girl and all she got was pink onesies and dresses and hair bows. The thing is, most people nowadays aren't extremely well off in America, the economy is tough right now. Usually registries are only created for first babies so this is when people NEED stuff in most cases. I don't mind if you don't shop off the registry if you genuinely buy stuff they need but to just to out and get a cute outfit that the baby probably won't get a chance to wear before they grow out of it is sort of useless. Not crap by any means but useless. And a waste of your money. In America it isn't rude to make a registry. You have to understand it takes. Lot of time to make them and pick out what you want just to have people completely ignore it and buy you 37 pink headbands. Thank god I had a boy which are apparently no fun to buy for so everyone got me useful things on and off my registry.

 

[zanDark]

I think most people consider them to be tacky because they've associated them with an attitude "don't buy me other crap!" I personally think that they're done well in the US, unlike here in Greece where I do consider them tacky and would never do one!! I also only give money to a registry when it's someone I don't know and don't care about!

Here you pick out a store you want, and people go to that store and say "I'd like to fund Zan's registry", or transfer money online...then you get a list with the amount of money raised (and who paid what ) and you pick out whatever you want....now that's tacky LOL

I think it's just difficult to understand what the norm is in different cultures sometimes here it's quite normal for people to stuff the grooms pockets with envelopes full of money at the wedding, most people in the US find that tacky and I don't mind lol I understand that it's not something normally done there

As for babies, clothes are usually gifted, and you visit mom and baby in the maternity ward...they stay in for 3-5 days, and our tradition is that mom and baby shouldn't leave the house for 40 days until they are blessed, and should have very few guests at the house....and give them your gift with an exchange card! Which is why most people never buy baby clothes in advance, and maternity wards are constantly filled with gifts and people

I think we all need to keep an open mind and be respectful that in some countries people do things differently

 

[Andypanda6570]

I think most people consider them to be tacky because they've associated them with an attitude "don't buy me other crap!" I personally think that they're done well in the US, unlike here in Greece where I do consider them tacky and would never do one!! I also only give money to a registry when it's someone I don't know and don't care about!

Here you pick out a store you want, and people go to that store and say "I'd like to fund Zan's registry", or transfer money online...then you get a list with the amount of money raised (and who paid what ) and you pick out whatever you want....now that's tacky LOL

I think it's just difficult to understand what the norm is in different cultures sometimes here it's quite normal for people to stuff the grooms pockets with envelopes full of money at the wedding, most people in the US find that tacky and I don't mind lol I understand that it's not something normally done there

As for babies, clothes are usually gifted, and you visit mom and baby in the maternity ward...they stay in for 3-5 days, and our tradition is that mom and baby shouldn't leave the house for 40 days until they are blessed, and should have very few guests at the house....and give them your gift with an exchange card! Which is why most people never buy baby clothes in advance, and maternity wards are constantly filled with gifts and people

I think we all need to keep an open mind and be respectful that in some countries people do things differently

Italian culture also, when the baby is blessed you are "Aloud" to take him -her out. My Mother In Law also put a picture of the saints under my boys bassinet and didn't even tell me I found it one day She said it is there to protect them till they are blessed by the priest . It is also custom the God-Parents buy a very very big piece of gold to be saved for when they get older to wear . My 3 sons got a huge 24 karat chain with a huge diamond cross. Now they are big so they are aloud to wear them. When the baby gets baptized the chain is worn around their neck, lol, it is funny cause people would look like OMG this huge piece of gold around a baby's neck. After it is taken off and put away for the child till they are older.