Why are people so ignorant about registries???

[Dragonfly]

Maybe I should make a list this time people only got my kids clothes, from primark. I appear to be selling myself short.

 

[aliss]

Am i wrong?? I thought as parents we bought what we needed or family offer to, and showers are for "extra" gifts to make a fuss of tge mam to be??
Or atleast that was my take on it.

Over here, it is normal to ask for the large things (crib, swing) on the registry but it implied that only immediate family will buy those.

I wouldn't dream of asking anyone to buy something as substantial as a crib to be honest! I wouldn't ask for anything!

It's just tradition. It's like when you get married, your friend might get you $50 kitchen knife or great aunt Judy gets you a $100 fancy table cloth, but your parents might contribute $2000 towards a honeymoon or something. So, grandparents might buy the crib, but your friend might buy a couple of booties (proportionally).

 

[lhancock90]

I am living in the wronnnnng country

 

[fidgets mammy]

My sister actually said to me - so what u gettin me then? I found it so rude. And my bro when gettin married (just b4 i had twins) txt sayin "do u want to pay for my dj or cake" i was gobsmacked. Not my wedding!! He then pursued to tell everyone i told him i wasnt gettin him anything for his wedding.

A gift is a gift. Be very careful or youll get nowt-as my dad would say

 

[Jarenk]

I have bought many gifts for many "showers" and have only bought a very few items from a registry. I was not selfish, in any way, but the items most registries are WAY out of my price range. I bought things I could afford and which I thought the person would use. If thinking about my financial status and the needs of my family is being selfish, then shame be to those who think a shower is more important. I was raised to be grateful for what you get, whether it is what you had in mind or not. Beggars cannot be choosers and in my opinion (I am sure I will get the stink eye from some of my fellow US citizens) a party/shower in behalf of a person where gifts are expected, it could be seen as a form of "begging" for items you need but cannot or do not want to purchase yourself.

 

[Andypanda6570]

Am i wrong?? I thought as parents we bought what we needed or family offer to, and showers are for "extra" gifts to make a fuss of tge mam to be??
Or atleast that was my take on it.

Over here, it is normal to ask for the large things (crib, swing) on the registry but it implied that only immediate family will buy those.

I wouldn't dream of asking anyone to buy something as substantial as a crib to be honest! I wouldn't ask for anything!

Either would I ever dream of asking for that and I didn't and a crib or furniture was NOT on my registry. My dad took it upon himself to purchase my crib and furniture for which I was very grateful. The biggest item on my registry was a stroller which 2 people from my family went half on for me. Most big items are bought by either the parents or the in-laws. I have never seen a crib on a registry, ever.. I am sure some may put them on a registry , I just have never seen it and YES I do think that is nervy to do.

 

[staralfur]

I was a bit annoyed with my registry situation, too. I didn't care to make one as I wasn't having a "formal" shower, it was just a dinner with friends and family of both sexes...I honestly didn't care if anyone bought us anything.

But I had a bunch of people say "Oh you need to make a registry so I know what to buy you!" So I spent a few hours putting together a registry and then not one person, including the people who TOLD me to make it, bought anything from it.

However, I would classify that as a slight annoyance. Yes, I wasted time making it but then I had a list of stuff left to buy, so not a total loss.

We got clothes from pretty much everyone and admittedly I didn't like some of them. But I still put my LO in them and took pictures and tagged the person who bought them and said "Here she is wearing her gift from _____!" Because that person took the time to pick it out for her and just because it's not MY favourite thing doesn't mean that person was selfish. They still bothered to go out, spend money, and show up to my shower. I would never ever call that selfish.

I actually have never been to a shower of any sort but I personally would buy off of the registry if there was one. Unless everything was expensive, in which case I'd be put off. Everything on our registry was $5-$35 so I don't think we were being overly cheeky or anything...

 

[angela2011]

OK for all of you UK ladies who think it's rude or tacky to have a registry, obviously WE do things different here in the US. It is not tacky nor rude to expect people who are invited to your baby shower to get you the things you NEED. I don't need a bunch of yard sale crap or 50 million baby blankets and 5000 pairs of newborn onesies. Number one, they're wasting their money. I have a very broad range of prices on items that EVERYONE can afford. And if not, you can ALWAYS buy diapers or just get a freaking gift card so that I can buy what I need for MY baby!! People are so selfish to think they should be able to just buy what THEY want. Why??? It's not your baby, so why can't you buy what mommy and daddy have already decided on what WE want and need??? For all of you who say it's being ungrateful and rude, you obviously don't have the same traditions as we do here.

wow That has to be this most spoiled brat rude statement that I have ever read and I am from the US and it has nothing to do with tradition. Just wow someone has entitlement issues. Registries are fine if people want to buy from them but your attitude wow that is all I can say

 

[fidgets mammy]

the words in capitals dont help

 

[fidgets mammy]

I am living in the wronnnnng country

i know!! i would have put a new kitchen n sofa on mine

 

[robinator]

I am grateful for registries - before I had dd, I wouldn't have had a freaking clue what to buy new moms.

Now that I do, I'll pick something off their registry and something else that's personal.

Initially, I was annoyed that people hadn't gotten me much off my registry, but nearly every non-registry gift I received have either ended up being the cutest clothes, most handy feeding item, favorite book or toy. I'm grateful for people's originality. Things I'd never have put on my registry because, looking back, I had no clue about babies and stuff they'd really like.

 

[nov_mum]

Can I ask, OP do you seriously believe that people in your life who wish to buy you a gift are being selfish if they choose to take the time to think of you, pick something out, wrap it and visit you with it? I have been to America and I totally understand registries. They really are not that complicated are they?? What I did find when I was in the US is that people were generally very polite and expected manners from people as they expressed them also. I am genuinely suprised if people in any country think it is rude that someone chose their own present to give you.

 

[fidgets mammy]

Robinator thats a very good point. Before we have kids we think we know what we need what works what doesnt. Its not until you have them you realise what u really need what works n what doesnt.

 

[emyandpotato]

I'm in the UK and feel slightly uncomfortable with the idea of registries, I wouldn't even make on for my wedding because I just feel guilty and spoilt. Then again, if it was the tradition and people expected me to do it for a baby shower or whatever then I admit I'd enjoy making one, and yes, I would be slightly annoyed if people ignored it entirely and got useless junk. That said, I often get what I'd class as useless or tacky things for Christmas, mainly for Rory, and I know that people have chosen them with love and did not have to get anything at all.

To the OP, I think what has pissed everyone off is that you had the cheek to make a thread about it. You just sound a tad spoilt. It may be a little inconvenient to have to talk to people again and again about a gift, but they are buying you a gift for goodness sakes, you can hardly complain! And at least they're asking! So yeah, while it is perhaps very slightly annoying that people have not looked carefully at your registry and then left you in peace while they spend their money on exactly what you want, you sound rather ungrateful making this thread at all.

 

[Dragonfly]

I am living in the wronnnnng country

i know!! i would have put a new kitchen n sofa on mine

All that money I spent on baby stuff was needless if I had or had this list

 

[Jaylynne]

I used a registry. I put everything on it I planned on buying baby myself. Crib, stroller, and all the way down to wipes and butt cream. I used it to make sure I would have exactly what I need in list form even if no one bought from it. We did it because family asked and at the end, things not purchased by friends/family were eligible for 10% coupon. I just made sure to have plenty of items that were under $10-15 so no one would feel things were too expensive.

Baby showers and friends/family buying for baby is normal here. It's not rude or presumptuous. Rude is expecting everyone to just fork over gifts you picked out for yourself and calling their gifts "yardsale crap". Not everyone bought off my registry. I survived. No big deal. I ended up with a lot of cute gifts I never thought of and love! Some got exchanged for diapers lol.

Your posts are rude and ignorant. I'm surprised you have friends who bought you anything if that's the way you treat them.

 

[Lina]

The thing is OP, no one is compelled to buy you anything. People have lives and may not have the time to scroll through a registry, or they may not even be that computer literate, so they thought it easier to call for a minute and ask.

You want them to spend their money on gifts YOU selected, but are annoyed that they ask you directly. Unreal

 

[Fizzyfefe]

OK for all of you UK ladies who think it's rude or tacky to have a registry, obviously WE do things different here in the US. It is not tacky nor rude to expect people who are invited to your baby shower to get you the things you NEED. I don't need a bunch of yard sale crap or 50 million baby blankets and 5000 pairs of newborn onesies. Number one, they're wasting their money. I have a very broad range of prices on items that EVERYONE can afford. And if not, you can ALWAYS buy diapers or just get a freaking gift card so that I can buy what I need for MY baby!! People are so selfish to think they should be able to just buy what THEY want. Why??? It's not your baby, so why can't you buy what mommy and daddy have already decided on what WE want and need??? For all of you who say it's being ungrateful and rude, you obviously don't have the same traditions as we do here.

I'm from the US, and find this absolutely appalling. Baby showers are the norm, yes, but it is not the norm to be ungrateful and rude about the gifts you receive.

Get what you get and say thank you.

 

[nov_mum]

I really don't think the problem is with the registry. The problem seems to be with the OP's idea of what gift giving is about.

 

[PepsiChic]

I really don't think the problem is with the registry. The problem seems to be with the OP's idea of what gift giving is about.

exactly.

at first people (mainly in the UK) posted how they felt about a registery, and being from the UK but now living in the US ive seen both sides of the coin, and yes its a little strange but its not a "demand" for gifts, its more of a "if your going to get me something, these are the things Id prefer/need"



where this thread has gone wrong is that the OP sounds spoilt and selfish. It may be disapointing not to recieve what you asked for, but at the end of the day you shouldnt be expecting ANYTHING if people choose to spend time and money on something for you, at least be grateful they did that even if you dont like/want/need the item they got you.