yummy mummies dating support group

[moomin_troll]

Yeah it freaked me out when the boys were mentioned! As if they need to meet my kids after I've been seeing their son for 2 weeks lol

J's gone all love sick again wanting to see me now or come round tonight. Baring in mind it's none stop snow and he almost crashed driving home :/ I've said he can't be around the boys again until we no if this is going to turn into a relationship or not, I'm thinking it won't tho.
Things got far too comfortable too quickly for me and while that's good I also want excitement

 

[Shezza84uk]

Aww hun it will be difficult your husband is irreplaceable but lives in your heart through your boys and your memories.

Don't push yourself to accept someone if your not ready, you know eventually you will be but maybe due to the newness of things its just triggered that part of you that needs him, and also allowing someone to be a male figure will be hard take it at your pace its a bit early for meet as greets do whatever you feel is right, hugs xx

 

[daneuse27]

I'm just joining this thread now. Great idea, and kudos to OP who started it and has endured so much as a singe mom

Im looking for some opinions. I just started online dating, and every man I start taking to asks if I want to "meet up for a drink." Is that supposed to be his idea of a date? Normally Id just say yes and go, but Im a single mum to a 5 month old.... so Id have to ask my mom to watch her but I only want to do that if I know itll be worth it iykwim? Id rather talk longer to get to know eachother better and then meet up for a dinner... thats just me. does that make sense? Drinks to me sounds like they're hoping they'll get lucky.

Do you ladies get a lot of 'meet for a drink' offers?' Is that the norm? Maybe im just rusty in dating. lol

 

[Shezza84uk]

Tbh I've signed up to a few recently and every single person wants to "meet up for a drink" I made a few ground rules. Before I meet anyone I must have spoken to them for a while maybe a month or more if I can stretch it out that long, it must be in a public place and I will not be going anywhere else after that not in their car etc..

When they say "meet for a drink" majority of them want to have a one night stand and if you communicate with them for a longer period and keep your wits about you if that is all they want they won't want to wait to meet! Just my opinion and what I've noticed.. in fact I've had a few blatant ones ask if I fancy a drink and a f**k in those exact terms lol

 

[moomin_troll]

Welcome to the group and thanks x
I got afew lets me up for a drink date offers and to me they sounded fine as its more casual but then J asked me out for a really fancy meal and the drink offers didn't sound so good lol
U don't need to settle so go at ur own pace and do what feels right for u.
But for me personally there's too much build up if u leave meeting too long. But then again I've always met ppl face to face in bars so I no it's totally different.

Well I'm out tonight for ladies night and I no j is out for his mates 21st so lets see if he can say away lol

 

[lemontree12]

i meet up for drinks with my friends brother lastnight, it was the first date, it was so much fun, everywhere was dead because of the snow but we hd proper chats while having a few drinks. just go with how you feel what they want

welcome to the group x

 

[moomin_troll]

i meet up for drinks with my friends brother lastnight, it was the first date, it was so much fun, everywhere was dead because of the snow but we hd proper chats while having a few drinks. just go with how you feel what they want

welcome to the group x

Wooo more info on the date please hahaha

 

[daneuse27]

Thanks for the tips! I agree with lemontree, you have to judge by the situation.

Yesterday, I exchanged photos with a guy I recently started talking to. We'd been texting for about 2 days. I found the prettiest ones of me and sent them, and then in return he sent me more of him. (He looked ok in his profile photo, but that was the only photo I saw.) Once I saw the photos he emailed, I was disgusted. Not to be mean, but he looks horrible! Just awful, creepy, very dodgy and no one I'd want to trust my child with! I no longer had any interest in talking to him. lol. Of course after seeing my photos, he texted saying that I had "very kissable lips" and am "hot and sexy" and I wanted to puke. I didnt answer and hope he doesnt text again!

So from now on I'll have a bit more of a screening process before sharing more photos.

Hope your date went well lemontree!

 

[moomin_troll]

Online dating scares the hell out of me lol that being one of the reasons. U can really click with someone over the phone/txt and then to be so disappointed

One by one my mates are dropping out of this night out! It's a stupid idea going lol but I need out of this house bad mummy moment

 

[lemontree12]

it went really well, hes so nice, we went out for drinks and chatted loads. i met one of his friends, who said, 'i hope shes your missus' he did come back to mine :/ reason being he couldnt get home with the snow he lives abit away. so me being drunk said oh just come to mine, i live walking distance from town. i thought hes friends with my brother, my brothers at mine, its not too bad. we snuggled all night it really felt normal.

he left early because he had to pick up his son at 8, so my baby wasnt awake which was a blessing.

we have texted all day, and arranged a 2nd date lunch during the week, which i have said my daughter, hes going to have his son also, so kind of like a play date so to speak.

when i was tipsy i told him about me having that other date planned. anyway he said something about having competition today, which i said that i wasnt going to see him, he said that he likes the thought that im just his.

hes really nice so we will see what happens. look what happens when i sad i was not going to be going on a date with anyone, as i didnt have time for anyone. i guess for me it is too things come when your not looking for it

Daneuse: Just treat it like a learning curve. plus i find it a great confidence boost

 

[lemontree12]

sorry just read all that back, it doesnt make sense lol, im a hungover mess lol

 

[moomin_troll]

All my mates canceled going out tonight and then when J said he'd take me out my mum refused to babysit :/

He ended up coming round sayin he'd come see me or abit. The boys were up, so the fact I said he shouldn't be round the boys if he doesn't no what he wants, he turned around and said well I am practically ur boyfriend and then carried on playing with Corey.
He wants to see me again tomorrow night. This has so turned into a relationship again. I'm so comfortable around him which is great but then also a problem because there's no real nerves or excitement

 

[Shezza84uk]

Made perfect sense to me lol play date should be fun and I guess you can see how he is with his son ppl tend to relax when they have their kids around x

 

[moomin_troll]

J came round again last night, only for an hour because he just wanted to see me.
Before he came round I text my mate saying he was n that I need to have another ur acting like my bf chat.
Well her reply was bitching about him saying he really needs to sort himself out n this isn't what ppl who are seeing each other does ect......
Well I've got an iPhone so when the text comes most of it is shown and he saw it and actually read it!

Still didn't spur him on to sort this out tho lol
I did tell him we should start going out more instead of him coming here, so he will have to wait till I get a babysitter for him to see me next.

How's everyone else getting on?

 

[lemontree12]

i def think thats a good idea regarding going out more. me and fob used to do doing at all, he would of used me to take him to work and that was literally the only outing we had. i hated him for it, i hated being stuck at home, so going out is def a huge thing for me in my next relationship. cant believe he didnt say anything about your mate, does he still live with his parents?

errrm yeah i dont no, i guess iv got alot in my head regarding fob cheating and lying etc, that iv always got that 'your lying to me' head on. All little things, but the little things matter to me. ok so he was messaging me on facebook because my chargers broke and my phone was off. So i could see his was online, via the computer, (you can tell because it either has a mob or green light, and also it said all his messages where being sent from chat) anyway so i just asked was he home, he said no he was driving, which to me he was lying, because first off it says his computer was online chatting to me, second off, the roads would of been so slippy theres no way you could take your eyes of the road and message on facebook. i put this to him in a way 'What your messaging me, while driving in the snow, aint the roads slippy' he just said yea, its fine.

i guess because how deciteful fob was, everything that came from his mouth was a lie, pointless lies and huge big disgusting lies, i always have in my head someone is lying to me. i was never like this before fob.

whats sticking out in my head, 'is he leading a double life'?

 

[Shezza84uk]

hmmm this is a tough one because we try not to judge our other partners based on our past however maybe he was lying because FB has that thing that lets you know where it was being sent from although yesterday my little sister was sending messages to me on FB from her mobile and it came up green to say she was online in the chat box :/ unless he downloaded the new FB messenger? i'm not sure what it looks like when sent tho. I dont know what to suggest as its difficult thing to call and then at the same time you try to see this as a different person with different motives.

moomin-troll, I Think its a great idea going out, its a new relationship/dating situation so you should try to have some fun outside your home and see how it works out, also being out will prevent your boys from getting attached to him. I agree with your mate he needs to sort himself out and decide if he can handle being with you, accepting your boys will miss their dad accept that you will grieve you husband because your memories will not just go away and be able to support you through the ups and downs and remain respectful to his memory xxx

 

[moomin_troll]

When uve been cheated on its so hard to not think it will happen again. An ex cheated on me...disgusting thing he was lol an he was ugly! So not all ugly men stay faithful lol

All J said about my mate message was that see my ears are burning, it's cute ur talking about me....I said no I'm not I told my mate u were coming over and that was her response.

I was going to ask him on a date tomo night but I've come down with a cold so doubt he's guna wanna catch that :/ damn cold, feel rubbish.

We agreed over text we should just stick to going out and seeing each other. Even tho he was like ile hardly ever see u and I just smiled.

I could easily just see him or maybe start a relationship again. It's him who needs to make his mind up. This is just wasting my time if he's acting like he wants me but then chickens out

 

[lemontree12]

Just had a lovely phonecall from CSA Not... fob has now put a new claim in and has now got away wth paying £12pw less.... when i look at my daughter i think, how she could come from such a horrible piece of work, also after everything he has done, youd think 12pw he would pay as a way of doing his part. HE IS SUCH A FUCKING SCUMBAG!!!!

anyway yea, mayb im just be over dramatic. hes a dj and has said he wants to take me away on when hes working. i guess i will always be on edge and never trust someone 100% after fob. its sad but i know i wont. he cheated the 4yrs of our relationship.

 

[moomin_troll]

Can't believe he's been let off £12! Wtf how the hell do these ppl and him think u feed and clothe ur baby.
Drives me insane!

I'd say sit back and enjoy dating this guy, but I no that's not easy. I mean look at me hahaha I over think everything.
It's nice he wants to take u with him
Js very protective over his phone, I don't wana look at it anyway but that made me wonder. He's on Facebook and twitter but not added me to either.
Again harmless things but make me think hang on!
So yeah I understand why these things are getting to u

 

[lemontree12]

he used to pay 52pw and hes rang to say his wages have changed so hes paying 40pw now. youd think he would pay that extra 12 as a way of owning up to his responiblities... i hate him so much. he is disgusting and i know i cant live my life like this, but i generally wish harm on him...

yea will this bloke has TWO facebook accounts, im on one, but i dont think the one im on is actually the main one. his ex gf still has a photo of them on her profile, which was uploaded dec. more things that make me think, hold on a moment....

then the other bloke is so nice, but i feel hes too nice, if you know what i mean, i dont no... main reason why i dont want to date, i just want mister wonderful to turn up and swip me off my feet

goodness so glad for this thread, i havent spoke to my friends about these, im so private in regards to dating etc so will only tell them if it becomes serious