yummy mummies dating support group

[bbkf]

He text me to tell me he felt bad so he told FOB he came round mine :/ FOB wernt majorly bothered havnt really spoke to him much tho.

FOB finally came to see LO and he started crying saying he loves me n shit n hugging me rrally upset me and has fucked with my head cos he doesnt actually wanna get back with m just made it feel like we were breaking up all over again I really dont wanna see him all the ttime cos it just upsets me but I have to

Your date sounds great tho im glad you had a nice time!

 

[Louiseandbump]

Haha are you! What a coincidence!

Im from Birmingham and hes from Kidderminster, so he already has to drive almost an hour to get to me. I do drive too, though id get lost driving anywhere out of birmingham! lol

But alls well so far! Hes only 22 and im 24 but he has a very grown up attitude towards me having a LO.

Have a hot date tonight.. NOT! Meeting with FOB to talk about him actually bothering to see his child that should be fun!


Bbkf - I remember days like that, when just seeing them makes your heart wrench. Then they start messing with your head. It really isnt nice, hugs to you hun! I can honestly say that 8 months down the line, after 4 years of not knowing where i stand i am so much happier without FOB and i was actually besotted with him Give yourself time and tell him if hes coming to see you not to talk like that cos its really not fair on you!

 

[bbkf]

Yeah it really sucks cos I wasnt bothered until now cos I havnt seen him n was just pissed off!! I dunno its pretty shit atm :/ hrs coming round on Sunday to see LO n im dreading it cos itl probs end in tears either hating each other or one of us crying cos we love the other

 

[moomin_troll]

Oh bbkf that's horrible of him
Maybe let him see lo threw a third party till ur ok to be around him?

Louise Petes 22 and I'm 25 hahaha nowt wrong with a younger man I was seeing a 19 yr old not so long ago.....now that's bad.
What pub did u end up in? I was sat in a beer garden around that time lol

 

[bbkf]

Yeah id understand if he was tryna win me back or something but I didnt see the point of saying it all n then pissing off!!

I wish I could but my LO will absolutely freak if she cant see me and she wont even let her dad hold her shes so shy at the moment.

Thats the worst bit cos most people just do the hand over or whatever but he cant take her anywhere so he has to sit round mind for hours :/ hopefully when babys older he can just take her out Instead

 

[moomin_troll]

The only way she's going to get used to seeing him and not u is for u to start doing it. No one wants to hear or see their babies crying, but it will help her in the long run. And help u.

 

[bbkf]

Yeah thats true mayb I should just get him to take her out then so I dont have to see him :/

 

[moomin_troll]

He will get used to it, and probably won't be as bad as u think. How old is she?
I went through a bad stage with zane when he was 2 after his dad died. He wanted to be with me 24/7, I was worn out so my mum said she have him. He screamed the place down....needed up stayin for 5 days hahaha
Sometimes u need to think about what's best for u, and being around him isn't that

 

[Louiseandbump]

Oh bbkf that's horrible of him
Maybe let him see lo threw a third party till ur ok to be around him?

Louise Petes 22 and I'm 25 hahaha nowt wrong with a younger man I was seeing a 19 yr old not so long ago.....now that's bad.
What pub did u end up in? I was sat in a beer garden around that time lol

haha moomin_troll how weird, i was seeing a 19 year old a few months back, just really casually.. haha turns out to be a total dick anyway though!

I dont know the name of it, it was a small pub with a beer garden just on the edge of the little town bit lol rubbish description!

Yeah id understand if he was tryna win me back or something but I didnt see the point of saying it all n then pissing off!!

I wish I could but my LO will absolutely freak if she cant see me and she wont even let her dad hold her shes so shy at the moment.

Thats the worst bit cos most people just do the hand over or whatever but he cant take her anywhere so he has to sit round mind for hours :/ hopefully when babys older he can just take her out Instead

This sounds so similar to the situation i had with FOB, Lilly didnt want to go to him, and i didnt want her to. He had some trust to earn back as we spilt up cos he was violent etc. We did it really gradually, over a few months and started letting her be there for an hour with him, then an afternoon. Then i let her sleep the night a couple of times.

Could you maybe start with popping out for an hour while hes at yours with LO? Wont be so upsetting for you and her and itll give the a chance to get used to being alone together etc I really feel for you, horrible situation to be in

 

[moomin_troll]

My 19 yr old was a good friend and we just started sleeping together lol
Then he got feelings for me do we stopped and he turned into a dick, tried to make me jealous of a 17 yr old he was seeing hahaha
There's so many pubs in Stafford it's unreal, so yeah I could never name which one that is haha

 

[bbkf]

She 9 months so kinda a clingy age in general! Yeah thats a good idea then shes in her own surroundings I might try n pop to the shops and stuff and see how she is.

Its been drama central here past few days! After the drama earlier FOB randomly showed up again n was like im gunna cut the crap I miss you I miss being a family and Iv literally fucked up my whole life and I dont care what u say im gunna do anything to get you back and be a family again.

I don't even no what to say/think right now I need to keep my logical head on arghhhhhh why is life so complicated!!!!

 

[moomin_troll]

If he can leave u so easily once I couldn't trust him again.
How evil of him to do this to u
Yeah he's fucked up, he now has to live with it

 

[Louiseandbump]

I met my 19 year old on a night out, he was drop dead gorgeous! Started messaging on facebook and went out a few times etc

So were out one night, me and my friends, him and his friends. Walking through the clubs in birmingham to get a taxi back to mine, hes got his arm round me.

A group of about 5 girls walk straight upto us and one says 'who the fuck is she?'
He dropped his arm from around me and scurried away.

Never been so mortified in my whole life!!!

 

[moomin_troll]

What an arsehole!
I met the teenager on a night out n we started txting. He was the first lad I gave my number to.
We became friends who flirted, he took me on a date randomly months later. Then nothing came of that....until my birthday, I was a drunk crayon n he txt me... It went from there for afew months lol

 

[bbkf]

I think it's a classic case of he thought the grass was greener on the other side and realised its actually pretty shit. I just want him to make more effort to be a better dad before he starts worrying about getting anything from me!

 

[bbkf]

I met my 19 year old on a night out, he was drop dead gorgeous! Started messaging on facebook and went out a few times etc

So were out one night, me and my friends, him and his friends. Walking through the clubs in birmingham to get a taxi back to mine, hes got his arm round me.

A group of about 5 girls walk straight upto us and one says 'who the fuck is she?'
He dropped his arm from around me and scurried away.

Never been so mortified in my whole life!!!

Oh dear!!! Id have legged it aswel ha

 

[Louiseandbump]

Never got into a taxi so fast in my life haha was awful.

As for FOB i spent alot of time taking lillys dad back, all it ever did was hurt me more.
I wanted him so desperately i let him treat me like an idiot..

even when he started hitting me, i made excuses and even let him move in with us :S

Learned my lesson the hard way in the end when it went too far.

But you know him, we dont. Has he done this before?
Its all about if you can trust him again etc

 

[bbkf]

Yeah he never walked out or anything I dunno im not gunna say anything im just gunna see what happens I think hes coming to see baby after work today so ill see what he says then :/ theres no way im just letting him back in tho if anything was to happen it would have to be different

 

[Louiseandbump]

Yeah he never walked out or anything I dunno im not gunna say anything im just gunna see what happens I think hes coming to see baby after work today so ill see what he says then :/ theres no way im just letting him back in tho if anything was to happen it would have to be different

Just be very very careful, if you do take him back, dont do it easily and do it all on YOUR terms not his. As you said before, for now he should be concentrating on being a father before anything else. Hope it all works out for the best for you and LO, keep us posted

 

[bbkf]

Yeah If we were to get back together id want it to be because hes worked bloody hard to get me back and prove hes gunna be a good boyfriend not just because he showed up with his tail between his legs n I said okayyyyy were back together. I dunno I love nothing more for him to actually change and make things work but im not gunna kid myself and pretend everything's different if its exactly the same