yummy mummies dating support group

[moomin_troll]

It's easier said then done to stick to ur guns, but I hope u can do it and he has to prove himself to u and lo.
It's not supposed to be easy to walk away from ur family like he did, so for this he needs to pay

 

[babyrough]

Just been reading this thread as i've recently split up from FOB so started coming in the single parents section more often. And I noticed one or two of you were from Stafford, Small world, I live in Stafford too!

 

[Louiseandbump]

Just been reading this thread as i've recently split up from FOB so started coming in the single parents section more often. And I noticed one or two of you were from Stafford, Small world, I live in Stafford too!

Hope youre doing okay, its a big change isnt it
Im from Birmingham, but visited stafford the other day

 

[moomin_troll]

And I'm from Stafford welcome to the group, some really great girls here. U will get amazing support

 

[Louiseandbump]

Oh god. Ive been told I have to decide what we do on the next date!

Anyone got any ideas for a good third date?! I am like the most indecisive person ever.

Last two were so lovely, i dont want the one i choose to be pants!

 

[babyrough]

Just been reading this thread as i've recently split up from FOB so started coming in the single parents section more often. And I noticed one or two of you were from Stafford, Small world, I live in Stafford too!

Hope youre doing okay, its a big change isnt it
Im from Birmingham, but visited stafford the other day

Thank you! I'm doing great, a lot happier now we have split, it's been a long time coming. Just hard with the arrangements for LO.
Did you have any issues with FOB about arrangements for your LO? Does it ever get easier?! I'm loosing the will to live lol

 

[babyrough]

And I'm from Stafford welcome to the group, some really great girls here. U will get amazing support

Thank you!

 

[moomin_troll]

How about a cinema date. Loads of good films on right now. A very laid back casual date

 

[Louiseandbump]

Just been reading this thread as i've recently split up from FOB so started coming in the single parents section more often. And I noticed one or two of you were from Stafford, Small world, I live in Stafford too!

Hope youre doing okay, its a big change isnt it
Im from Birmingham, but visited stafford the other day

Thank you! I'm doing great, a lot happier now we have split, it's been a long time coming. Just hard with the arrangements for LO.
Did you have any issues with FOB about arrangements for your LO? Does it ever get easier?! I'm loosing the will to live lol

I wish i could say yes, but FOB is a total pain in the arse.
Last time i went to drop LO to his he was drunk :S

So had to stop him seeing her for a while til he sorted his act out,
hes seen her yesterday and today, getting there slowly.

What are your arrangements at the moment?
Is he being a pain?
How old is LO?

How about a cinema date. Loads of good films on right now. A very laid back casual date

Yeah i was gonna suggest cinema, and then maybe food.
Good excuse to cuddle up in the dark too
I cant drink atm, im on antibiotics for a UTI.
So not a conversation i wana have, how unsexy
So trying to avoid that haha

 

[moomin_troll]

If he asks why u don't wana drink, just say u don't fancy it lol

 

[babyrough]

Just been reading this thread as i've recently split up from FOB so started coming in the single parents section more often. And I noticed one or two of you were from Stafford, Small world, I live in Stafford too!

Hope youre doing okay, its a big change isnt it
Im from Birmingham, but visited stafford the other day

Thank you! I'm doing great, a lot happier now we have split, it's been a long time coming. Just hard with the arrangements for LO.
Did you have any issues with FOB about arrangements for your LO? Does it ever get easier?! I'm loosing the will to live lol

I wish i could say yes, but FOB is a total pain in the arse.
Last time i went to drop LO to his he was drunk :S

So had to stop him seeing her for a while til he sorted his act out,
hes seen her yesterday and today, getting there slowly.

What are your arrangements at the moment?
Is he being a pain?
How old is LO?

He turned 1 in may so 14months old now.
He's just a very unreasonable person to work with. When we first split he demaded to see LO every evening and all weekend every weekend. Of course I said that just wasn't practical as I work and would never have chance to spend time with LO myself. So at the moment the arrangement is that he has him on a Wednesday evening and a weekend. Except every weekend do far he has made an excuse to not have him overnight. It's like he just wants him for all the fun bits then brings him back to me when he's bored.
I just want to get everythin in writing, like a legal contract or something. He also hasn't paid anything towards LO yet.
It's soooo stressful!

How old is your LO, how long ago did u split up with FOB?

 

[Louiseandbump]

I had my third date with Josh last night! We went for a coffee, then for a walk, to see a film and then for something to eat.

It was really sad at first cos he got to my moms to pick me up, and his phone rang and it was his friend calling to say his other friend had died. I didnt know what to do, he looked so sad and then had to call his parents who are away to let them know the bad news.

We talked a little bit about him meeting Lilly and stuff last night.
We were talking about in the future though, not about now.
How did you all go about new partners meeting LOs?
Im in no rush for that anyway, id rather wait a little bit.

Also, whilst we were out some guy asked him if i was his girlfriend, and he said yes. Wanted to go like this but was just like this lol

He turned 1 in may so 14months old now.
He's just a very unreasonable person to work with. When we first split he demaded to see LO every evening and all weekend every weekend. Of course I said that just wasn't practical as I work and would never have chance to spend time with LO myself. So at the moment the arrangement is that he has him on a Wednesday evening and a weekend. Except every weekend do far he has made an excuse to not have him overnight. It's like he just wants him for all the fun bits then brings him back to me when he's bored.
I just want to get everythin in writing, like a legal contract or something. He also hasn't paid anything towards LO yet.
It's soooo stressful!

How old is your LO, how long ago did u split up with FOB?

Id love some sort of legal contract that sets out days/times that FOB sees LO that he would have to stick to. Hes such a pain, hasnt been sticking to any of it recently. FOB is the same in that he will act desperate to see her, but doesnt want to do the proper parenting bits, like overnights. Hes fine with it, so long as it doesnt get in the way of his weekends out or his love life.

Lilly is 28 months, so almost 2 and a half. Far too old for him to not be turning up etc shes cried a few times now when ive said hes not coming, so my advice is sort it out sooner rather than later if possible

I split up with FOB in january this year, he had become violent and it was starting to go WAY too far.
It was over a long time before that really though, we were just going through the motions.

 

[moomin_troll]

Oh no how awful for him and u being there for that.
Pete met my boys pretty fast because zane got up earlier then expected and caught Pete in my bed hahaha

So he met them pretty fast, it had been about just over 2 weeks lol
But I heard something about single mums and dating, it said. U don't want a parade of men meetin ur children but if u think something could happen then get them
Meeting soon. U don't want to wait 6 months and then him not deal with the fact u have kids or ur kids not to like him, because then that's time uve wasted.

But see as ur lo is still so young I don't think it matters as much, now zane being 4, almost 5 was abit more nerve wracking

 

[Louiseandbump]

Oh no how awful for him and u being there for that.
Pete met my boys pretty fast because zane got up earlier then expected and caught Pete in my bed hahaha

So he met them pretty fast, it had been about just over 2 weeks lol
But I heard something about single mums and dating, it said. U don't want a parade of men meetin ur children but if u think something could happen then get them
Meeting soon. U don't want to wait 6 months and then him not deal with the fact u have kids or ur kids not to like him, because then that's time uve wasted.

But see as ur lo is still so young I don't think it matters as much, now zane being 4, almost 5 was abit more nerve wracking

Haha oh dear! Zane caught you out then, i bet petes face was a picture!

He hasnt even dropped me off at mine yet let alone been near my bed, not through lack of trying though! haha

Hes said a few things that make me think hes thinking long term though, and been very very honest about stuff with me which is really nice actually. Its nice that weve got history and ive known him for years so i already know i can trust him.

I worry a little cos Lilly has been going through a stage of being scared of men, although i think she is coming out of it. Also Lilly's dad knows who josh is, knows i used to fancy him ages ago, and will probably be worse about me getting with josh than any other guy.

Imagine if Lilly meets him and hates him!! Lol What if shes jealous??

 

[moomin_troll]

She will get used to him, could take time or she could surprise u
Yeah Pete looked terrified hahaha he won my boys over cuz he can juggle.
Zane even said he loves Pete the other day, I didn't expect that in a million years, took Pete by surprise.
If zane can open up to a man in my life then so will Lily.
Yeah I was bad, we hadn't even had a date yet and I got him into bed hahaha

 

[Louiseandbump]

She will get used to him, could take time or she could surprise u
Yeah Pete looked terrified hahaha he won my boys over cuz he can juggle.
Zane even said he loves Pete the other day, I didn't expect that in a million years, took Pete by surprise.
If zane can open up to a man in my life then so will Lily.
Yeah I was bad, we hadn't even had a date yet and I got him into bed hahaha

Haha its not bad, mommys have needs too!

I think next time i see him, hes gonna stop over at mine but lilly will be at her dads anyway so no chance ill get caught out.

Although landlord lives opposite who is FOBs boss and keeps him well informed of all my comings and goings, but ill cross that bridge when i come to it.

I wonder if josh can juggle.. Haha ill just tell him to bring chocolate or something if he meets her then, im sure thatll win her over.

Thats so sweet that he said he loves him!!

 

[moomin_troll]

How childish he's keeping tabs on u. What a stalker lol

God dating would be so much easier if I had someone for the boys to stay over with.
I do feel like a teenager who could get caught by her mother lol but zanes worse hahaha
Kids always like someone who gives or does something they like haha
Zane did look at me funny when he saw me hug Pete, but now he's not bothered.
Ive been informed Petes now his best friend.
Zanes such a cutie lol

 

[Louiseandbump]

Ah how lovely that theyve got a 'father figure' in their life now, i know he will never replace their daddy but its good for them to have a man around isnt it.

Must be difficult not having anyone to have them stay over night with, i suppose you had no choice but to introduce pete early or youd never have got to see him!

Childish is not even the word, hes actually just a bit of a TWAT haha
Oh well, he actually has a girlfriend now, so maybe he wont care so much.

Yeah Lillys easily bribed now i think about it, if he brings some chocolate buttons with him, im sure she will be sold.

When it comes to it ill probably do it really casually, like with other people around so there isnt a big focus on the two of them, and kinda limit the affection between eachother til shes a little bit used to him. Thats IF We get there haha dont want to get carried away, guess you have to think everything through when there are kids involved though!

 

[moomin_troll]

Getting carried away is all part of the fun lol
That's a good idea, about meeting with afew other ppl there.
With zane it was casual like this is my mate Pete, he's seen my best mate sleep in my bed so he bought it haha and Corey's so friendly he excepted Pete straight away.

Yeah I had my mum n sister moan about zane meeting Pete so soon, well if they would help it wouldn't of happened.
It's easy giving an opinion when ur not willing to offer help and support.
Petes still not 100% confident around zane yet but yeah I'm glad they can see me happy again and have someone to care for them in their lives.
Zane might be left with Pete for an hour on Friday, treating myself n getting fake nails done for the first time. So we shall see. Can't imagine zane making it easy haha

 

[Louiseandbump]

Getting carried away is all part of the fun lol
That's a good idea, about meeting with afew other ppl there.
With zane it was casual like this is my mate Pete, he's seen my best mate sleep in my bed so he bought it haha and Corey's so friendly he excepted Pete straight away.

Yeah I had my mum n sister moan about zane meeting Pete so soon, well if they would help it wouldn't of happened.
It's easy giving an opinion when ur not willing to offer help and support.
Petes still not 100% confident around zane yet but yeah I'm glad they can see me happy again and have someone to care for them in their lives.
Zane might be left with Pete for an hour on Friday, treating myself n getting fake nails done for the first time. So we shall see. Can't imagine zane making it easy haha

Ah thats lovely. Like you say how they can see you happy again. I think the main thing in it all is that your children feel loved and secure, and youre going at a pace that suits you all.

I saw a thread on here somewhere earlier about when is it okay to leave your LO with a partner, you should have a look see if there are any comments. I didnt leave one cos i dont have any experience with that yet and all i had is one horrific story that happened to a friend, didnt see the point in scaring the poor girl!

Josh said something alone the lines of if we had been together a while and lilly was used to me and you needed a girly night out, you know i wouldnt mind having her for you while you let your hair down cos he knows how unreliable FOB is. I was like where did that come from! Lol at hes thinking ahead right?