yummy mummies dating support group

[Louiseandbump]

Yeah i have started to get a couple of bits for lilly, luckily shes at the age where i can just buy her total crap and she thinks its amazing haha. I thout id be alone forever but youd be surpised men generally aren't put off by the having a child thing, more down to you feeling ready i think, it comes with time. X

I am so emotional tody ladies, all my strength not to text jsh sme stuid hormonal outburst haha, i wnt though!

Haha well you couldnt ignore him could you now, thats just rude. Especially if hes hot haha. To be fair, with your busband passing that must make it totally different to having some scummy FOB hanging around causing grief, but so much more difficult to deal with emotionally for you and LOs. You seem very happy and stable and a lovely mommy thiugh s youve done well

 

[moomin_troll]

My ex the window cleaner couldn't handle the fact he felt second best, he didn't even come close hahaha
He flipped out cuz he saw a pic of Tom, my husband so that was the end for me.

The lad made the thread about said he just freaked out over thinkin about me being a widow, I think most people think I'm going to be a nervous wreck because of it.

When infact I'm ok, the amount of times I've enjoyed making people crawl up their own ass by sayin yeah he's dead when they ask where my children's father is, is hilarious.
I've got such a sick sense of humour lol
Petes been great about it. It helps he was in the army, he was based in the town next to us in Germany and would come to where I lived on nights out. It's crazy how small the world is

 

[bbkf]

Hey ladies how are things going with you guys? Im having a shit time as usual I cant get a bloody break. Since FOB screwed me over again about a week ago he said he was happy to never see LO again if that was what I wanted then 2 days later was saying he loves me wants to see LO and get back together, then ignored me for 3 days then showed up a min ago to drop off milk as I text him n saidI needed mimilk for LO ( I did have money just wanted to see if he would bother n its the first thing hes paid for her in 2 months) he dropped the milk off wad there for 1 min and basically said he didnt say he loved me wanted to get back together ect.

Im so sick of it all! I feel like in the past 2 months since us splitting nothing had been sorted out or arranged its just been a constant cycle of the same thing (basically what I said before)

I just feel so depressed I want him to be a good dad but he isnt. Part of me would prefer him to be a shit dad so I dont have to deal with him anymore. Part of me still loves him somehow and wants gim to say hel change even tho I dont actually want to gey back with him. Arghhh I wanna scream ha. I just wanna move on with my life and im not at the moment because it still revolves around him.

Sorry btw I no this isnt exactly about dating you can tell me to piss off if you want ha its just you ladies are rather nice and helpful

I hope things are going better for you girls im sure they are!

 

[moomin_troll]

F off! Hahaha only joking. I love the group of girls in here, so glad I made it. So I don't blame u for posting in here.
U love the idea of him, the old him. U can't possibly love someone who treats u this way.
U will be ok with or without him in ur los life.

I'm starting to feel like I have 3 kids! The boys had chicken pox n now with zanes 6 weeks holidays I haven't been baby free in 3 months. House has died, Petes seen how stressed I have been and I said I needed some help, he's always here so it's only fair.
Well that landed on deaf ears because he's not helped at all.
I reached breaking point this morning and was in tears.
He went to his mums and didn't offer to help me today but would tomo, yeah right he's workin 2 shifts and he's just had his fingers tattooed so wouldn't be much use to me tomo.
I'm so drained

 

[moomin_troll]

Well ladies I'm single. I finished with Pete today.

Going to concentrate on my boys and have fun with my friends, f men lol

 

[bbkf]

Oh no what happened hun? X

 

[moomin_troll]

I found he had text a prostitute....apparently not to meet her but for just dirty texts.
He text her Sunday, when I was really stressed and apparently I pushed him away

 

[bbkf]

Omg thats no excuse im sorry hun are you ok? Have you said anything to the boys about him not being around anymore? I can tell just from reading this thread that your a super strong woman so I no youl be fine but still im suprised he did that!

 

[moomin_troll]

Yeah I've told zane, he's upset but angry that Pete upset me so he will be fine.
He just came round for his things, in tears. He's sorry, he loves us and came bare not being with me. He made a mistake and will go back into counselling to stop it from happening again. Blah blah blah

 

[Shezza84uk]

oh no, that is terrible and why a prostitute when you have a good woman at home?! There cant be any valid reasons you asked him to help you around the house how is that pushing him away?! Thinking with his Male 2nd HEAD it seems

 

[bbkf]

Hmm im guessing you said no to a second chance or counselling or whatever, I swear men just think theyl do what they want then turn on the tears n apologise

 

[moomin_troll]

He says dirty text is his porn. Even tho this "woman" wasn't playing ball, so he didn't even get what he wanted. I guess texting a whore is a sure thing for a service u want.

The phone chats n webcams were an addiction he had years ago, he was in counselling for that and PTSD (post traumatic stress) and hasn't done it in years.
He knows he can't justify this!
My bil has tried to make it sound better then I word it lol

I forgave the man I married for worse, so now I've been talking to my mum it doesn't seem as black and white as I made it out to be

 

[Shezza84uk]

are you going to forgive him? I wonder if the woman was up for it would he pursue further than texting? x

 

[moomin_troll]

From her website she's up for anything! But I really can't imagine him payin for it other then I guess the thrill of what the texts might say.
I don't get it, I've never been interested in porn let alone all this. So I don't see the attraction.
He's begging me still, saying he's going to call his counsellor tomo n start up meetings.
I don't think I can forgive or forget this

 

[bbkf]

Only you no wether you can forgive and trust him again on the one hand it could be a 1 off and hes shit himself that hes gunna lose you and never do it again but on the other hand it he could do it again or the trust might be gone :/

Its a tricky one he seems like he wants to fix it but what if you had never found out? He might have just carried on doing it behind your back x

 

[moomin_troll]

These are points I've made. He says he could never even risk doing it again because he's felt what it's like to lose me. He says he for scared of losing me, freaked out and did that. The texts really were nothing, there was 3. He says soon as he did it he felt awful ect.
I can never forget, I've got a right mouth on me so I know I'd bring it up just to get to him in a fight.

Before I got married Tom had done something early on in the relationship, I'd still bring that up lol

I don't even know what to think, no matter what I do, he needs help to deal with his emotions. Afghan did a right number on him

 

[Shezza84uk]

If you do forgive him he needs to prove he's trust worthy. PTSD is awful but I personally dislike when they use it as the means to mess up and in pursuit to seek unhealthy ways to make them feel better. I still get told my FOB was a serial cheat due to PTSD and needing release I just think its a load of crap.

Saying that you never know he might learn and sort himself out maybe you should let him know if he pulls anything like this again you will leave for good. Whatever you decide it will be hard because you care about him and the boys like him xx

 

[moomin_troll]

He hasn't used his PTSD as an excuse, I did expect him to lol
He just happened to be in counselling and they were his main problems. Even tho he was crying his eyes out, I expected him to use a panic attack, which he gets. But he didn't.
He gave a reason as to what was in his head at the time, but says he can't justify it at all.
Well I'm going out tomorrow night as a single lady, so ile soon see how I feel

 

[Shezza84uk]

A night out to let your hair down is a great idea, just do what makes you happy and your boys xx

 

[bbkf]

Yeah just let it cool for a bit and see how you feel you can always talk to him of you wanna give him another chance