1DPO! TWW Buddies?

[wishingforbub]

Hi ladies
How are you all doing?
Aaaw wanna it breaks my heart reading your story. I can only imagine your heartache and pain I'm so sorry.

Ladies I feel really bad coming on here updating you on my pg when you're all going through such tough times. But I will continue to check in on you all and make sure I see you all get your bfps!

Mrs vet good luck with your test! Lilsoy hope you're ok. And gohan you too. .hope you're feeling a bit better xx

Thinking of you all.

 

[lilsoybean]

Wannabe~ Your story is very similar to what happened to me in July and it is the worst feeling in the world! (well in my experience). It's so hard to deal with...it's been 7 months now and I feel like I'm just now starting to feel more like myself.

After the miscarriage I got really depressed and I just wanted to encourage you to talk to someone (professional or not) if you need help getting through your feelings. My problem was I felt like I should just try to get over it and move on but that was making things worse for me.

One suggestion I liked and that helped me feel better was writing the baby a letter about what your hopes and dreams were for him or her. Some of my friends have had little ceremonies and set those Japanese lanterns in the sky or balloons. Some people I've spoken with even buried the notes they wrote along with an US photo in their yard and planted a tree nearby. I don't know if any of this will help or if you are even ready for any of it yet but I thought I would tell you some of the things that helped me through.

Thinking of all of you ladies!

 

[wannabemamaz]

Thank you so much lilsoy.. Your words mean so much and It means a lot to me thhs you would take the time to give me some advice. I'm so sorry you went through something similar. Lots of love to you.

 

[Gohan3117]

Hey ladies, sorry I've been so illusive recently. wanna, I'm so sorry to hear that. I love you and I'm praying for you! I'm almost done with the book, and I think it might benefit you, wanna, and lilsoy and whoever has miscarried. It's a wonderful book.

AFM: I had my levels drawn on today, and I haven't gotten them back. My Fertility Specialist finally called back on Monday...she asked me "I noticed you missed your Progesterone blood draw today, are you alright?" I said, "Uhm, I talked to you a week ago and told you I was pregnant, and then I called and faxed over a week later to say I miscarried." She's like "Oh, I don't remember that..." (really?! Time to get a new FS!) My OB hasn't even bothered to call...I've sent numerous emails and called at least a dozen times. So frustrating. The bleeding has stopped, but I never saw a "mass" other than a big red and bloody clot. I'm guessing that's what it was. I saw my Doctor today, and he said, that due to my hCG levels from the beginning, I should have had an hCG over 1000 when I first went in. From the date I would have gotten pregnant, I MC'd at 6wks4days. But my levels only showed I was barely 4 weeks. So he said I was already going to miscarry from the beginning, the baby wasn't growing.

But aside from that...

Hubby's Glaucoma is progressing, his vision cuts in and out. He has an appointment with his Eye Specialist on Friday, please pray that the Lord will heal his eyes...I don't want him to not know what his future children look like...

Back story on DH's vision: When he was a little kid, he was out playing with his puppy, and DH found some dog feces and put it in his eyes. My in-laws washed it off, and thought nothing of it. 2 years later, when he started Kindergarten, he couldn't see the chalk board and he was bumping into walls. They took him to the Eye Specialist, and then said the dog feces had given his parasites in both his eyes. They removed the one in his left eye, when caused his cornea to collapse, and ultimately leaving him blind in his left eye. The parasite in his right eye was dead, and was not causing any more harm than it already did, so it's still there. All of this caused Glaucoma, and he used steroidal eye drops and other various eye drops (3 altogether) to keep what little vision he has. He can see me fine, but only closer up. He has 50% vision in his right eye, and 15% vision in his left. If he covers his right eye, all he sees are dull colors and some movement. It's very sad...but it doesn't change my love for him. I knew one day that he would go completely blind, but I didn't think it would be this soon...please pray with us.

In other news, I have an appointment after DH sees his specialist to get my next tattoo. For those of you who are on my FB page, I have mentioned more than once about how this MC has taught me to "Love Beyond Life". Which basically, to me, means that I love those who are no longer with me, I love those who are with me now, and I love those who are yet to be born. So, I love beyond breath and death. Beyond heaven. My love for my little ones stretches to heaven and back, which means I love them "Beyond Life", because they might not be alive here on earth, but they still live in my heart. So, I came up with an idea for my tattoo, and I've attached it to this post. I'll be getting it on my left forearm, it will cover the scars I have from my self-harm addiction that I'm recovering from. It will give me an incentive and a reason to not cut, because the tattoo will remind me of my loved ones.

Anyway, I'm praying for you all. Again, if anyone wants to add me on FB, PM me on here and I'll give you my name. I love you all!

 

[Gohan3117]

Forgot to attached the image! Here it is!

I also attached images of my other tattoos. The kanji symbol was my first tattoo. It is the symbol for "Love".

The second one, I got a couple months after my first MC. The ribbon in the heart is the Pregnancy and Infant Loss ribbon.

The last picture, is the design for my next one that I'll be getting on Friday. I love it.

 

[Mrs. Vet]

Gohan the tatoos are beautiful!!
I am so sorry to hear about your husband, I really hope and pray that at least the vision he has left can be kept! You guys have a lot to deal with!

I didn't pass the test again, as I said they are really stupid about it here and it was a little thing again.. so 3 times a charm I hope!

The good news is I finally got a positive OPK today! Just in time so we have all weekend to BD! Let's hope it works!

We still haven't made an appt for getting DH tested, I was going to this week but he is pretty depressed this week and I am not sure if he could handle if there is bad news about his sperm right now. So I will make an appointment when he is feeling better again.
Since we have been trying just under a year what's another few weeks I think..

Hope my temp goes up tomorrow or sunday so I can enter the TWW!

 

[lilsoybean]

Hey there,

Mrs. Vet~ I'm sorry about the driving test. That really stinks that it's so hard to pass. But good luck on all the bding this weekend. I hope you catch that egg!

I started AF on Friday and went in for an US on Thursday to see if I can go back on Clomid this month but I had a cyst that was too big so I have to go back on Monday to see if has shrunk at all. If it has, then I am taking the 100mg instead of the 50mg I was on last month. I will have to start on CD5 instead of CD3 though. I don't really know what that means or how it will effect things.

I wish it didn't cost $100 every time I have an US. I have had to have 3 so far so Mondays will make 4. I will have to keep paying a bunch of money until I reach my deductible....blah.

Anyway, I guess I'm just trying to start over again this month.

 

[Mrs. Vet]

Aw that stinks lilsoybean, I hope that cyst will shrink so you can start the clomid again!
I hate that these things are so expensive!

My temp is higher this morning so hopefully I am 1 dpo!

 

[lilsoybean]

Yay Mrs. Vet! Good luck in your TWW!!

Gohan~ I hope you are doing ok. You and your hubby are in my prayers.

 

[Mrs. Vet]

Temp shot up so it looks like I'm really 3 dpo! So glad my body is not doing the waiting game this time...
Thinking of everyone! How are you ladies doing?

 

[lilsoybean]

Doing well over here. My cyst went down so I started Clomid again yesterday. I'm getting my Progesterone levels done on CD 19 to be sure I'm ovulating since I didn't get any positive OPK's last month. I really feel like they are on my side at my Ob/gyn. The whole staff knows me by sight now and they are all rooting for me.

So, my work was being weird about letting me out of a meeting so I could go get the cyst scanned so hubby and I just took the whole day off work together yesterday and it was sooo great! We had the best time. Went to doc, got good news. Then we went to breakfast downtown and the meter already had money on it so... free parking! Came home and took a nap. Got up and ran 4 miles, helped a neighbor find her lost dog. Then we drove down to Bloomington, Indiana to do some record shopping and have dinner. Also, it has been super snowy and cold here and it was 70 degrees and sunny yesterday...the first good day in months! Too bad it snowed again today...crazy!

Anyway, I know that is a little off topic but it's been awhile since I've had a really good day so I wanted to share some of my happiness!

I'm trying to hold on to this positive mood and hopefully good things will happen this month.

Hope you are all doing well. I hope to hear from you all.

Keep us posted on your TWW Mrs. Vet!!

 

[Mrs. Vet]

Sounds like you had a really good day!

5 dpo here and really happy with my temp this time, last time it was barely high enough to confirm ovulation and this month it is really high so it's very clear.

Just tried my prenatal gummies for the first time that I brought from the US to see if I like them better than pills. If i can stomach them and feel ok with taking them I'll have someone send me another bottle.
They taste funny and I won't take them during a meal again because everything I ate after taking them tastes gross!!
I had been taking flintstones so far and feel they taste better..

 

[lilsoybean]

Are the gummies like prenatal vitamins?

 

[Mrs. Vet]

Yes they are!

6dpo, my back hurts a lot and I had sharp pains in my lower abdomen yesterday and today. I'm sure it means nothing, just mentioning it so in case it did mean something I wrote it down somewhere! lol

Gohan how are you feeling? How is the rest of you girls doing?

 

[Gohan3117]

Hi Ladies. So sorry for being illusive once again. After 15 months of being free from C. Diff, I relapsed this week. It's been a living hell. I can't take my normal antibiotic, as there has been a huge outbreak of MRSA in my area due to overuse this medication. So I'm miserable. Hubby is sick on and off, and he has to have eye surgery in a month or so. We've been hit hard. Not to mention my mom has relapsed with her Crohns and my Great-Grandmother's health is severely fading. She was in the rehab center and they moved her back to the hospital. They couldn't wake her up a couple mornings ago and her pulse was weak. Hubby and I have the money put away just in case I need to fly back home for her funeral. It's been just crazy.

On the bright, yet dim side of life, my HCG levels came back and they are. 0.3 mIU. So the miscarriage has passed through without complications.

Sorry for being so pessimistic...it's just been a horrible month so far. Please pray for us.

But I'm so happy for you, lilsoy and Mrs. Vet! Such great news!

 

[lilsoybean]

Hey gals,

Would you mind taking a look at my OPK from today? It looks positive to me but the digital said negative. What are your thoughts..do you think it's positive? I have never O'd this early but maybe the Clomid is making it happen earlier.

 

[Mrs. Vet]

Gohan you guys just can't seem to catch a break! i will keep praying that things get better again! It really seems true when it rains it pours...

lilsoybean it looks positive to me. I bet the digi will show up positive as well next time you test. Start BD,no harm in trying either way, right?

8 dpo today, trying not to symptom spot...

 

[lilsoybean]

Thanks for checking that out Mrs. Vet. I think that maybe I started testing too soon after my last Clomid dose and am getting false positives. My digi still says negatory. I just got 50 more OPK's so I will just keep on testing.

So you are 9dpo today right? Have any symptoms you want to report? I think you said you had some but didn't know if they have gotten any worse or if there is anything new.

When do you think you will test?

Wishing~ How's it going with your pregnancy? Are you showing at all yet? Let us know!

 

[Mrs. Vet]

I don't know much about clomid, can it give false positives?

I found a pack of ICs that I had forgotten about! So I started testing this morning, thought I saw a shadow of sth but i think it was line eye. I will keep testing in the mornings as long as I have ICs left.

I have been really moody and anxious in saturday. Keep getting random nausea and a bit of cramping.
I was really hungry and didn't even make it through half of my dinner.

None of this is completely unusual for me though, I don't think it means anything...

 

[lilsoybean]

I don't know much about clomid, can it give false positives?

I found a pack of ICs that I had forgotten about! So I started testing this morning, thought I saw a shadow of sth but i think it was line eye. I will keep testing in the mornings as long as I have ICs left.

I have been really moody and anxious in saturday. Keep getting random nausea and a bit of cramping.
I was really hungry and didn't even make it through half of my dinner.

None of this is completely unusual for me though, I don't think it means anything...

That sounds promising!! Keep us posted.

I was researching clomid today and I guess you can get false positives if you start testing too close to the last pill because it tricks the body into thinking it's not making enough estrogen and lh so the body starts making more.