1DPO! TWW Buddies?

[lilsoybean]

Hey everyone!

Well things with the cat haven't worked out, he is crying every night and injuring himself so he i obviously not happy here. We are bringing him back on sunday. He is old and sick so I guess they should not have given him up in the first place... maybe we try to find a rescue cat or a baby kitten after the wedding, we willtake our time this time.

I am very sad, it just seems nothing we are doing lately is ever having a good end... With everything going wrong it is getting hard to keep going. I was going to go to church on sunday trying to find strength again but now we have to bring back the cat.. I guess it has to wait..

I broke down and took an OPK and it was positive. We BDed the day before and will do again today if we aren't too tired (cat is not letting us sleep past 3am) so at least we tried but i doubt it will happen for us this month..

I will try and catch up when things have calmed down a bit..

Awww! I'm so sorry Mrs. Vet. I completely understand how you feel though. This last year (2013), it seemed like everything that could possibly go wrong, did. It was awful. I was hoping this year would be much better. and it is...in a way. Nothing really great has happened but at least nothing devastating has happened....yet. I feel like I'm always waiting for the bottom to fall out. Anyway, I really hope you can find some time for you. Maybe just some quiet time to meditate and be with God will give you the strength that you need. Well, know that I'm thinking and praying for you!

 

[Gohan3117]

Gohan~ What is going on with your breasts?! That seems crazy! I'm sorry you have to go through all that worry and the mammogram. I don't know why but I'm dreading the day when I will have to have one. Please keep us updated.

That is great about your husband getting a raise!

As far as insomnia, I haven't been able to sleep the last couple night either. It's awful!!

lilsoy, I'm not totally sure. I was giving myself a breast exam in the shower one day and I noticed how painful it was to exam my right breast. I felt at least 2 lumps. I was scared and I called my Doctor. She got me in at the earliest appointment which was the following Monday. She did a full breast exam, and she found four lumps in all. Two about 2 cms apart and about 4cms above my nipple, and 2 more about 2cms apart and just 1cm underneath my nipple. She called in a mammogram, but the scheduling place said "Since you are under 30 and have no personal history of breast cancer/lumps we can't do a mammogram. We have to start with an ultrasound." So, I have an ultrasound scheduled for this coming Thursday. It's really scary!

AFM ATM...AF came. 13 days early. I'm so frustrated I could scream. She came full force the morning of DH's birthday. So now I'm really upset. And I just found out a good friend of mine is pregnant. I'm so upset I could cry. So I'm filling my painful void with raising Pokemon on my Game Boy Advance SP. DH is at work for 6 hours today, so I'm here piddling about. Mom has a kidney stone that she needs to have removed. DH has his eye surgery on June 19th, as I believe I stated earlier. My appointment with my Fertility Specialist is in June sometime as well. So I guess that's my update.

I'm sorry about the cat, Mrs. Vet.

I love you all!

 

[Mrs. Vet]

Thank you lilsoy! Your prayers must have worked, I did my first Rally Obedience Competition yesterday with our dog and he did so great!! We scored 90 out of 100 points and got the best possible grade! I am so glad at least when it comes to training our dog I am not failing!

We briught the cat back today and he immediately jumped into his owners arms! She makes it work now that he can stay there and he was so happy! So I am at peace with our decision now. This weekend was overall a good one!

Should be 3 or 4 dpo, only checked temp once and it is about where my post-O temp usually is so I know I ovulated. Had EWCM on and off all along though, no other symptoms and I am trying not to look out for any.

Gohan how scary! I hope the ultrasound goes well with the ultrasound!
I've been having a lump for over 10 years now and breast cancer runs in our family but this one is not cancerous at all. I get an ultrasound every year for it and thry say it is more common than you would think.

I'm sorry AFcame! And then the news about your friend. I know that feeling to well, I know we want to be happy for them but I can't help but feel upset...

I will pray for you to get good results on thursday!

 

[Mrs. Vet]

Uuuuugh DH just got told TODAY that he is leaving for a business trip on saturday or tuesday and for 2 or 3 weeks (most likely 3!)!! It's not that he is gone for that long, I'll miss him and it'll be difficult after such a long time of being together but we have done worse when he was in the Army.

But it is just like in the Army again, he has to leave on short notice with no exact information of when and for how long and I have to deal with the mess (have to cancel several appointments, order his meds so he has enough, see who is watching the dog that one weekend i have an all weekend class and what not). This is pissing me off, it is my birthday tomorrow and instead of celebrating we get to organize everything!

Ok that is my vent for the day.. at least I think he should be back by the time I ovulate next month..

 

[lilsoybean]

Oh man! That is sooo frustrating! I'm sorry girlie. Maybe you can get it done pretty quickly and still enjoy your day tomorrow. You really deserve it! I'm sorry I don't have anything better to say but just know that I am sympathizing with you.

Nothing new here....just waiting to ovulate.

 

[Mrs. Vet]

Thank you lilsoybean!
I got most of it done this morning, just 2 phone calls left that I'll do tomorrow. I'll have lunch with my parents and thrn go out with our dog and enjoy the sunshine

Gohan how are you doing?

 

[Gohan3117]

Hey ladies! I'm doing alright, I went to the Doctor and got some news.

I'm allergic to 47 different foods, namely gluten and milk products. That being said, my Doctor told me that if I want to be absolutely sure that I don't get my mom sick when I visit her in the next few weeks, then I have to make some major changes.

Those changes entail...limiting severely or eliminating all dairy and wheat products from now, until I get back home from Ohio. He said it takes an average of 14-21 days for your body to detox from all the artificial stuff. So, I also have to eliminate HFCS, partially hydrogenated oils, MSG and a vast amount of other things. I also have to eliminate fish products (not gonna be hard, cuz I haven't eaten fish in 3 years at least) and cut out artificial sweeteners. So, that being said. I will have a very specialized diet. One that is completely organic and non-processed. So, pray for me the next 3 weeks...it's gonna be hell during the detoxing process.

But, the upsides to this change in diet, are the following.

1. I can be certain that my mom won't get sick from me, because C. Diff feeds off of yeast, dairy and gluten. So, the chances of me contracting C. Diff again are slim, if not non-existent.

2a. I will lose the weight I need to. I am severely overweight, which hinders my ability to become pregnant and carry a baby to term. If I lose the weight, it will be much easier.

2b. With the above statement, also changing my eating habits will help my hormones be more balanced, which will help me have a healthy pregnancy.

3. It will help my insomnia, and I'll be able to go off more of my medications.

4. DH and I will be able to experiment in the bedroom.

5. I'll feel better all around. Physically, emotionally, psychologically. It's a win-win-win!

Anyway, so yesterday I did a mad purge in the pantry and cupboards. I haven't cleaned the fridge out yet, because the repair man is here to fix it. But after he leaves, everything has to be trashed. It stopped cooling and freezing, so all our food is destroyed.

So please pray for me over the next few weeks. It will be hard.

I love you all!

 

[Mrs. Vet]

Wow, I'm not sure if I could do such a diet! That must be a huge adjustment for you! But it sounds like it is for the best! I will pray for you!

So DH's trip got cancelled the next day, of course after I had cancelled his appointments! I was able to restore them except for one but geez!

Must be 6 or 7 dpo, still trying to not pay attention to any symptoms, I don't think there are many or I just don't notice them as much...

 

[Mrs. Vet]

How is everyone?

Took my last IC this morning and then when I wiped got blood. AF came a week early leaving me with a luteal phase of only 8 or 9 days!
Checked temp to be sure and it dropped so no doubt it is AF...

Guess since I kept forgetting to take my vitamins my luteal phase was this short this time.

I'm anmoyed I wasted the test but not as heartbroken as usual, I didn't really expect to get a BFP anyway.
Not sure if we start full on trying again or continue to just keep it casual. I only took my temp a couple of times to confirm O this cycle and I sure didn't miss it! lol I'll discuss it with DH when he wakes up I guess..

Happy Easter everyone!!

 

[Mrs. Vet]

Went from just annoyed to heartbroken pretty fast
In church we had a baptism and the little girl was so adorable and I couldn't help but think about if we will ever have this moment with our baby..
Everyone around me is pregnant or just had a baby... I am really emotional today... I don't know who to turn to, I don't want DH to feel bad and ruin his easter...

 

[lilsoybean]

I'm sorry Mrs. Vet. Church was hard on me today too. Many if my friends were there with their beautiful families. Some of them know that we have been trying for a long time and I know they feel bad for us and that annoys me. I know it probably shouldn't but it does. I don't know what to say to help you feel better but I completely understand.

Im sure that you will be a mother one day. Just try to stay positive and keep trying

As for me, my hubby got fairly good news. His morphology has improved and doc says it's now at a normal level!! So that was great news but now his motility has gone down. It was fine last time though so it could have just been how long we were abstinent before the test etc.

Right now though I'm worried I've missed ovulation. My temp has been super high the last two days but I haven't had any other signs of it. I'm hoping it goes back down tomorrow. I should ovulate in the next couple days though. I had my first positive OPK on cd16 last month and I'm on cd15 today. I guess I will find out.

Well, I hope you are all doing well and enjoying Easter with family and friends (if you celebrate).

 

[Gohan3117]

Hey ladies. I'm sorry, Mrs. Vet and lilsoy...I know it's hard, that's why I chose not to go to Easter Service this year...because we always have a bunch of child baptisms this time of year...so I've avoided church for several weeks now...

Anyway, I feel just awful. I honestly feel like I'm pregnant again. The nausea, acid reflux, gas, constipation, peeing ALL THE TIME...I just can't imagine that I am again. I can never get strong enough urine to take an IC because it's always so diluted from peeing. Last night I crashed at only 10pm. That's about 6 hours earlier than normal. I'm already exhausted tonight, and it's only 10:30pm! I dunno...it's probably just my body detoxing, but usually when I detox I get horrible diarrhea, not constipation. I haven't had a decent BM in 3 days now. I'm getting a little scared. I'm taking nausea meds like crazy. Ughh.

But as for Easter...it's been a bit of a dud for us this year. No church, no family dinner, no singing and guitars this year...it was kind of sad. I'm used to being in Ohio, where we go to church, then have an Easter Egg Hunt for the little ones, a full Easter dinner with ham, deviled eggs, rolls, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes, you know, the works. We always sit around the living room and my Uncle plays his guitar and we all sing hymns. And we always have target practice in the back yard with my Grandpa's rifles. This year we had ham that my MIL cooked, which was way underdone and flavorless. The deviled eggs made me so nauseous I almost threw up. No singing, no Easter egg hunt, no family...we were all in separate rooms. I don't know, I guess I'm just homesick.

But on the bright side, only 1 more month until I go home to visit. It will be a short visit, though...which makes me sad. But hopefully we won't have to go this long again...I'm praying we can make it back home for Christmas. Today DH and I have been together for 30 months. It just seems crazy to me. Our Anniversary is only a little over 3 months away. This weekend I went to Trader Joe's, QFC, Target and Big Lots and found a bunch of cool Gluten-Free and Lactose-Free stuff to eat. I made some GF and LF muffins today and they were delicious!

But about the being pregnant thing...I just don't know anymore. I honestly don't know if I was pregnant...if I would be excited or not. Twice is too many times to lose a baby, and I just can't let myself get excited again. I wouldn't tell anyone but you guys until after 12 weeks...but I just...I can't handle another MC...not now. I don't even know anymore...

Love you ladies. Any news from wanna or wishing? I'll be back soon.

 

[wannabemamaz]

Hey ladies. Just caught up on all your posts. You're all in my thoughts and prayers. Sorry that Easter has been hard for you guys. I'm in the same boat.

Saturday I had a HORRIBLE mental breakdown. It was bad. I've read several horror stories of women going into horrible depression after they started the nuvaring. I lost it on my hubby. Just went crazy. I asked him to take me to the mental hospital. Obviously he didn't! I was just out of control and it was so scary. I'm wondering if I need to stop taking nuvaring. I really don't want to go back on the pill and hubby is not willing to just use condoms. Not sure what else to do at this point.

The freak out on Saturday started from opening facebook first thing in the morning and seeing a friend of mine had announced her pregnancy. Due in October. That really was hard for me as that was the time I was supposed to be due. The next morning at church everyone was congratulating her. I am SO happy for her.. but it just really sucks.

Hubby and I are planning on putting up a fence, putting in grass and building a deck this year. We moved into our new house in October 2012 and couldn't afford all that last year. He told me that once we get all that stuff done he feels he will be ready to try. Trying not to get my hopes up.

My sister is due with my niece on May 1.. so we are waiting for her any day! So excited for that!

Our dog has been sick for a few days and it is stressing me out BAD! She is a mini-australian shepherd and she has the MOST sensitive stomach. She must have ate something at the park on the weekend because she has been having diarrhea since Saturday early morning. I just hate when she is unwell.. And it has been happening SO much lately.

That's it for me! Finally the sun is shining and it is actually starting to get semi-warm. So relieved! I hope all of you are doing well.. Update me!

 

[Gohan3117]

Hey ladies.

A bit of an update: I've taken a few IC's and they are stark negative. I'm just chocking it up to the detox symptoms.

Tomorrow, I re-checked for C. Diff, and I hope and pray it's finally gone. The constipation still continues though, but if I remember correctly, after the diarrhea came and went from detoxing last time, I only had a BM about every 3 days or so. Eh, I dunno.

I have been so frustrated the last few days. DH is working strange hours and I feel lonely a lot. My MIL is driving me nuts. And it seems like every little thing is bugging me. The fact that a stupid drawer in my bathroom cabinet won't close due to something wedged behind it is pissing me off so badly. Also, I've about had it with eBay. My two games FINALLY got here after a week of being late. They play great, though. But I bought a link cable for my Game Boy Advance SP to hook up to my Nintendo GameCube and of course, it doesn't work. But the hassle to send it back to a waaaay too cocky seller just isn't worth the $13.20 I paid for it. At least I found one at the local game store that will hook up my SP and my husbands SP so we can trade Pokemon. But my SP case should finally come in the morning, and if it doesn't, I'm asking for a refund of shipping cost. I paid $11.75 to ship an item I paid $10.99 for. It was supposed to be 2 Day Shipping, but today is the 4th day, and I'm so fed up with eBay right now! Ugh.

Anyway, I'm supposed to be O'ing like, now. But I haven't had a single +OPK. Ugh. I'm so fed up. DH and I are trying to get our act together after the MC and kick our butts into high gear. We have to get out of here. We are hoping to move in October of this year, but it's all in God's timing, I guess.

My good friend just had her second baby. A little girl named Selah. My doctor is due any second, another friend of mine is due in 16 days and another is due in about a month. I also just found out that an old friend is pregnant with her 6th child. SIX!? I just want one...way to rub it in my face...

Anyway, I'll stop whining and ranting. Sorry to dump all this on you girls. I'll try to do better next time...until then...au revoir.

 

[wishingforbub]

Hi ladies

Hope you are all well. Just a quick post...We're on a three week holiday in iran before we move back to Australia. And Internet is not that fast here. We haven't found out gender yet...at 16 week scan dr couldn't say for sure but she thinks boy. I'm 18 weeks tomorrow!
Will read up and post better once we leave here.
Really hope you are all well and happy. Xxxxxxxx

 

[Gohan3117]

Hi ladies

Hope you are all well. Just a quick post...We're on a three week holiday in iran before we move back to Australia. And Internet is not that fast here. We haven't found out gender yet...at 16 week scan dr couldn't say for sure but she thinks boy. I'm 18 weeks tomorrow!
Will read up and post better once we leave here.
Really hope you are all well and happy. Xxxxxxxx

It's so nice to finally hear from you, wishing! I'm glad you are doing well! Please keep us posted on your little bean!


AFM...I've been taking OPK's the past couple of days, and this mornings OPK was a bit darker than yesterdays, so I'm hopeful that I might ovulate this cycle, but trying not to get my hopes up too much. My Ovia app is so dumb...It averages out my cycles, and last cycle was 19 days, and the cycle before that was like 26, so now it wants to say my cycle is 25 days. WTF?! I always have 30-34 day cycles, but since the MC, Ovia is screwed up. I think I might just re-sign up or something. Yeesh.

DH and I are having a hard time right now, but we'll get through it. I just want the next 24 days to fly by...so I can see my mom. I miss her terribly.

Anyway, my mom is a jewelry maker, and she is making me some personalized MC jewelry. She said she'll have my bracelet done by the time I get there, but she wants me to be there when she makes the matching necklace. It will be nice to have something so personal to wear on my body...something made by my mom for my children. I'll post pics of them when I get them.

Speaking of my MC...I'm having a much harder time with it now than I have been the last couple weeks. It's because I'm having so many weird symptoms going on, I feel pregnant, but I know I'm not. I've been having abdominal cramps for the past couple days, and my boobs hurt so bad, and I don't know why. But every test I take says So I'm trying to just let it go. I just need to relax, I guess. But it's just been so hard. Packing up our stuff seems so hard...every time I turn around I find something that reminds me of being pregnant. I found my "What to Expect When Expecting" book, and my 'I Never Held You" book, and my little hand-sculpted 7 week baby that I bought off of etsy. I just feel so empty right now...I'd be almost 16 weeks today...I miss my little bean so much...

I'll post back a little later. I love you all...

 

[lilsoybean]

Hey there!

I hope everyone is doing well. I'm officially back in the TWW! So that is exciting I guess. I'm feeling hopeful this time which could be bad since I will most likely be disappointed. However, hubby's swimmers have improved and I'm still on Clomid. I think we had pretty good bd timing. Maybe this time things will work out for a BFP. The last time I got pregnant was in May so it's almost been a year! I think I'm around 4 dpo but I've already had weird things happening like weird cramping/bloating and shooting pain in my boobs. I've also had a lot of creamy CM..more than usual. I'm sure I'm just symptom spotting but it's not like I'm trying...the things I'm talking about have actually been bothersome so I had to take notice. Those things could possibly be attributed to Clomid as well. Who knows! Well anyway, I just wanted to give an update. I hope everyone is well.

Gohan ~ I hope you and hubby are doing better. Seeing your mom will be great for you. I'm curious to see what the jewelry looks like so def. post.

Wishing ~ Glad to hear from you again. let us know when you find out the sex. I can't believe you are already 18 weeks! How exciting!

Mrs. Vet ~ How are you doing? Anything new?

 

[Gohan3117]

It's nice to hear from you, lilsoy! I'm glad you are in the TWW! I've been taking OPKs the last few days and they are progressively getting darker, so I think DH and I might BD for the next few days. I think in a couple days the line should be dark enough to symbolize that I O'd! It will be the first cycle since my MC that I've O'd. I'm praying that I do, because it will make me feel like I have a chance now.

But AFM...my kitty is rubbing up against my leg right now. She has become the sweetest little kitty recently. But like I said, I'm nearing ovulation, which is a wonderful feeling. I seem to be doing better with the detox symptoms. I've re-introduced a bit of dairy in my diet, and I seem to be doing much better with it. I am feeling much more emotional recently, though. I don't know what that's from, though.

But the best news...which isn't related to anything about TTC...is that DH bought us tickets to see Daughtry, Goo Goo Dolls and Plain White T's in July! I'm so excited!

Anyway, that's it for me. I hope everyone is doing well! Love to you all!

 

[Mrs. Vet]

Just checking in! Things are crazy here, our church wedding is in 30 days, I started working 2 nights a week to help with some bills and then there is driving school and school and our dog...
On a bright side I passed my paper, got the results yesterday!! So at least one thing less to worry about.
It is a holiday today and we went to a fun dog race and had a blast! We didn't win but I don't care..
I was so exhausted when we got home that i took a nap on the couch and now I need to make invitations for Dh's bachelor party so he can take them to work tomorrow.
I am having a seminary at school all weekend and the entire next week is craziness again.
Between me being this stressed and DH's sperm count I doubt that this will be our month...

 

[lilsoybean]

I'm frustrated. 2 teachers at my school announced their pregnancy and my best friend officially announced hers today as well. I'm just over it. I'm over the whole thing. Taking temps and meds, timed intercourse, waiting, hoping, and being constantly disappointed. I have a few days left until testing but I'm not hopeful. I wonder what will come next? Maybe they will send us to a fertility clinic. Part of me just wants to throw in the towel and just be done with it all. We don't have the money for any big time procedures anyway.

Well, I guess I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening (reading) ladies.