African or African-Americans TTC

[kareen]

Hi ladies...I'm just here working from home with my Fred Flintstone feet. LOL. They are so swollen they don't even look like they belong to me anymore! It's so hot which is why I think they've swollen. It's 35C with the humidex which is about 95F and we don't have A/C. Anyways, I hope all is well with everyone. I'm going to go put my feet up and relax a bit. Chat soon sisters!

 

[PurpleKisses]

@Kareen~ no A/C?!?! I don't think I'd make it lol! Make sure you drink lots of water! I know my ankles were swollen a few weeks ago when it was really hot here...I was helping with a summer camp and the a/c was broken in the part of the building we were in. I don't know why, but I always thought it was cooler in Canada (not to sound thick...shows how much I know :doh...

 

[ready4onemore]

Hello ladies,

Msk, just hold on. There is a blessing with your name on it. Don't be dismay for God is on His way. He sees every tear and hears every plea. I am praying with and for you.

Kareen, yes please increase your water intake and do what you can to stay as cool as possible.

I don't go back to work until Wednesday but I sure wish I didn't have too.

Please pray for us. My DH had to go in for a sperm anaylsis and we found out his sperm count his a little low. We had to re-test today and hoping for the best. He was a little disappointed and I think he was kind of embrassed. Please say a prayer for us. Thanks ladies.

 

[FutureMommie]

MrsKC- just hold on, God promised to supply all of our needs, he knows that we have weak moments but it doesn't mean we don't have faith. It is going to work out, and try not to stress to much, you are providing a safe haven for your little one right now and that is whats most important. God blessed you with the baby that you are carrying and he will make sure you are able to take care of him/her.

I hope everyone is doing ok, I am cd8, and not very positive this cycle, I'm actually not sure how much more of ttc I can take, it's been 2.5 years now, 2 surgerical procedures, and still no bfp. I had a meltdown before work yesterday, and my dh was so supportive, and assured me that he was there for me no matter how long it took, and he had faith that it would happen. It just gets sooooo hard sometimes, all I can do is pray that God gives me strenght to endure.

 

[kareen]

Just a prayer for all the ladies that are losing hope. My OH and I prayed this prayer together at the same time every day and even though our prayers were answered, we still pray it every day as well as another prayer just thanking God for getting us here. We tried for almost 2 years and I know exactly how it feels to lose hope and faith. God knows, He hears. My mom always says that you have to "Live by faith not by sight." and she's so correct. So...hear goes...

"Almighty Creator, hear this fertility prayer and the wishes of our hearts. You know our deep desire for a child, a little one to love and to hold, to care for, to cherish. Grant that my body may conceive and give birth to a beautiful healthy baby in your Holy image. Guide us in all our choices so this conception, our pregnancy and our baby's birth are in line with your will. Heavenly Father and Holy Mother, hear the wishes of our hearts, minds and spirits. Amen."

To all my loving and supportive sisters, have a very Blessed day...xoxox

 

[PurpleKisses]

Hey ladies, I hope everyone is doing well.

I think I've officially lost it (my mind, that is). Between not getting enough sleep last night and my hormones, I feel like I've caused so much discourse in my household today. I wrote a long post in the 2nd tri forum and honestly don't feel like typing it over. I know OH thinks I'm batty right about now and DS has decided that it's best that he sequester himself in his room for the remainder of the day. I don't know. I feel like I'm coming apart at the seams.

I really need to keep in mind that God is in control and what might seem like huge issues to me, are so minute to the Most High. I really need to humble myself and pray before I destroy myself with worry.

In better news, I went to see my mw today. Ladybug is doing great. Her hb was in the 140s and she was just kicking and moving all around lol. My mw said that I'm measuring really good for 22 weeks so I'm happy about that.

Well, gotta go. I figured I'd make it up to DS but taking him to get pizza or something...and taking him to the playground (although I went into a rant and told him that he wasn't going today)...

I'll be back on later...I just need to get some fresh air before I drive myself completely crazy...

 

[mrskcbrown]

Hi ladies! How have you all been??

@purple: I am praying for you and hopefully it was just your hormones and all is well now.

I have been in revival for the last two nights at my church. I have been volunteering and doing registration. We also take a class during the revival called, "I still do" which is a marriage class and then after that we have worship with an awesome preacher from Florida named Bishop Rudolph McKissick. The last 2 nites have really blessed my soul and it has helped me to put things into perspective and to release a lot. I cried like a baby the first night during altar call because I just felt like the "enemy" was trying to hold me back with these financial issues. The minister taught me that sometimes God allows the trials because he wants to bless you. Trials are not a symbol of disobedience as most people think.

I just gave it over to God and we just paid what we could. I made sure we had the necessities like food and shelter, and anything else I could fit in, but outside of that, if I didnt have it, I cant stress over it.

Also Dh has come around to see that a "budget" does actually work if you work it. He actually sees now that you cant set up automatic payment for all these things, when his check is not stable. My pay is the only one that is the same every time, because I am salaried. He is hourly. So I listen to him as he talks, and I dont say I told you so, but in my mind I really want to say that. I told him stuff that we can eliminate and cut down lets make that sacrifice. He likes smart phones and etc, but I told him, we have a house and 3 cell phones on our plan and its coming to approximately 370 a month! What a waste! My husband is a talker, texter and emailer. He will live though with just text messaging.

We are trying to be blessed with our own home and so we have to make the sacrifice! We live in a very nice home, owned by may parents but im just really ready to get out, even though they are such a blessing to us.

So anywho, after my long post....I feel much better. Baby is doing well as we embark upon 16 weeks!.

How is everyone else doing?

 

[ready4onemore]

Good morning ladies,

Msk, I am glad you are feeling better. Wow 16 weeks time flys when you are having fun. LOL

AFM: I am waiting on a call from the doctors office about the results from the 2nd test and it is driving me batty. I wish that would call already. But we did go and buy him some fertillity pills on yesterday just in case. Back at work today but Thank God for a job.

TTYL

 

[PurpleKisses]

Hey ladies,

I'm feeling a bit better today. I was fortunate enough to get a good night's sleep so that's helped a bit. Unfortunately, I woke up and realized (tmi) I was having another bleed, this time with a few clots so I'm just taking it easy right now. I haven't talked to OH but I will eventually. I just need to get my head on straight. People (like my friends) always think that since I'm so young, that I really can't be going through that much but in all actuality, I do have a lot on my plate. I may only be 24 but I have the same financial obligations (rent, bills, car payments, expenses for DS, etc) that women 10 years older than me have. It's tough and it frustrates me when people don't understand that. I don't complain much because I know I'm very blessed, but it gets hard...especially with me not being able to work full time because of school.

Anyway, enough ranting for me.

OMG, the acid reflux/heartburn is starting. My throat is on fire right now...well, hopefully that means ladybug will be born with a head full of hair lol. I had really bad acid reflux with Jay during 9th month and he was born with a full head of hair.

Well, I'm going to make my green tea. I left it to steep and completely forgot about it because I had to take a few phone calls. My memory has been awful lately.

I hope everyone is having a blessed week so far.

**EDIT: Ready, stay encouraged, hun. My OH (who's 34) was basically told that he was infertile and we thought that we wouldn't be able to have children together...but as with everything, God has the final say. OH had had a semen analysis done a few years ago (before he met me) and the "specialist" found a number of things that would/should prevent him from having children, including low sperm count and a lot of his live sperm were abnormally formed. I really wanted to give him the family he wanted so I made my plea to God and put it in the Most High's hands. Believe it or not, I just KNEW I was going to conceive in April and it was going to be a girl. It may sound far fetched, but I knew. OH didn't believe me until I took a pregnancy test and left it on the edge of the sink for him to find. Stay encouraged and faithful, lovely.

 

[FutureMommie]

Purple-I'm glad you are feeling a bit better today, and make sure you get the rest that you need to keep your little one healthy

MrsKC- you are always soooo supportive of eveyone on here, YOU ROCK! I'm really glad that you are in a much better place, and that your little one is growing like a bean!

Kareen- Thank you so much for that prayer, I really need it right now, lately prayer and my supportive dh are the only things that get me thru.

I am cd9 today and waiting to O by Sunday or Monday. Thats all I can say, not really sure what to expect, not really hopeful but not really negative either.

 

[YankeeMama30]

Hey Yall... sorry it's been so long! I'm not really a thread stalker, but I do like to come in and catch up on what everybody is getting up to!

Ready, you and your hubby are in my prayers! No matter what, don't worry about the results - Let go & Let God!!! I am going to pray for you, but keep your head up and focus!

Kareen, thank you for that prayer. I think I'm going to print it out and use it every morning. I've been looking for something like that to keep me focused.

Future, sounds like you are getting tired, which is so understandable. It can be so hard to keep on going when you feel like you are stuck, but again, try not to worry (Let Go & Let God!). It sounds like you would benefit from re-focusing on something else that will uplift you and make you happy whilst He gets on with doing his work.

Hey Purple, I will look for that post you mentioned. Sounds like you got a lot on your plate too. As a group, I think Black women tend to take the weight of the world on their shoulders and sometimes, it just gets too much & you blow your top. Understandable! lol My husband seems to run for cover most days when I'm like that so I feel you!!!

MrsKC, I'm soooo where you are right now on some levels! I am salaried too & DH is hourly. I also take care of the finances, monitor the accounts, etc. We are definitely "struggling" but blessed. We're not in any major trouble, it's just things are too tight and there's too much debt. Now, I am constantly having to remind DH that "we don't have it like that" so don't go buying stuff that we haven't budgeted for & start thinking before you spend. For a long time, he just didn't get it. It was like he thought just because he has a job that meant he should be able to buy what he needed and wanted. Yeah, there's that and then there's reality!!! I went thru the same process of reducing cell phone bills by getting cheaper plans and more simple phones. OMG, I must've had to listen to him moaning for at least 2 months! Eventually, he got the message and only relapses now and again. lol

As for me... I'm in the 2 week wait, but to be honest this time (cycle 2) I've really tried to not think about it. My own version of letting go and letting God! I didn't over scrutinize or overplan the conception days either. I just keeping thinking when it's right, if it's right, it will happen. HOWEVER, lol, I suddenly started thinking about it today and am trying not to overanalyze. BUT, I've been feeling a bit gassy, but don't have a lot of gas, like there's a "tightness" in my womb. Don't remember feeling this last time in the 2ww, so it's making me wonder... hmmm..

Anyway, I'm trying to focus on my holidays instead! In 3 weeks one of my bffs is visiting from the States and we are planning to have some true girly time, something we've missed out on for about 6 years since I moved over here and she had 3 kids whilst going to medical school! Then I have about 5 days at home with DH before a week in Malta. We haven't had a proper holiday since we got married 6 yrs ago!!! We used to always go to the States visiting family & that can get so tiresome because we always try to do too much in so little time. *sigh* can't wait....

Take care of yourselves ladies!!!! Will be thinking about you and praying too!!! x

 

[mrskcbrown]

Hey Yall... sorry it's been so long! I'm not really a thread stalker, but I do like to come in and catch up on what everybody is getting up to!

Ready, you and your hubby are in my prayers! No matter what, don't worry about the results - Let go & Let God!!! I am going to pray for you, but keep your head up and focus!

Kareen, thank you for that prayer. I think I'm going to print it out and use it every morning. I've been looking for something like that to keep me focused.

Future, sounds like you are getting tired, which is so understandable. It can be so hard to keep on going when you feel like you are stuck, but again, try not to worry (Let Go & Let God!). It sounds like you would benefit from re-focusing on something else that will uplift you and make you happy whilst He gets on with doing his work.

Hey Purple, I will look for that post you mentioned. Sounds like you got a lot on your plate too. As a group, I think Black women tend to take the weight of the world on their shoulders and sometimes, it just gets too much & you blow your top. Understandable! lol My husband seems to run for cover most days when I'm like that so I feel you!!!

MrsKC, I'm soooo where you are right now on some levels! I am salaried too & DH is hourly. I also take care of the finances, monitor the accounts, etc. We are definitely "struggling" but blessed. We're not in any major trouble, it's just things are too tight and there's too much debt. Now, I am constantly having to remind DH that "we don't have it like that" so don't go buying stuff that we haven't budgeted for & start thinking before you spend. For a long time, he just didn't get it. It was like he thought just because he has a job that meant he should be able to buy what he needed and wanted. Yeah, there's that and then there's reality!!! I went thru the same process of reducing cell phone bills by getting cheaper plans and more simple phones. OMG, I must've had to listen to him moaning for at least 2 months! Eventually, he got the message and only relapses now and again. lol

As for me... I'm in the 2 week wait, but to be honest this time (cycle 2) I've really tried to not think about it. My own version of letting go and letting God! I didn't over scrutinize or overplan the conception days either. I just keeping thinking when it's right, if it's right, it will happen. HOWEVER, lol, I suddenly started thinking about it today and am trying not to overanalyze. BUT, I've been feeling a bit gassy, but don't have a lot of gas, like there's a "tightness" in my womb. Don't remember feeling this last time in the 2ww, so it's making me wonder... hmmm..

Anyway, I'm trying to focus on my holidays instead! In 3 weeks one of my bffs is visiting from the States and we are planning to have some true girly time, something we've missed out on for about 6 years since I moved over here and she had 3 kids whilst going to medical school! Then I have about 5 days at home with DH before a week in Malta. We haven't had a proper holiday since we got married 6 yrs ago!!! We used to always go to the States visiting family & that can get so tiresome because we always try to do too much in so little time. *sigh* can't wait....

Take care of yourselves ladies!!!! Will be thinking about you and praying too!!! x

Thanks Yankee! It feels good to know that I am not alone. Not that I want you in this same situation, God knows I dont but at least you can relate. Yes we are too are making changes that will be tough but for the better at least until DH gets a better job and after he graduates from college. I cant wait till he graduates in 3 more semesters !

I also know what you mean about doing so much in the little time. We do the same when we go visiting out families in chicago and virginia. We try to do and eat everything that we can.

Glad all is well!

 

[ready4onemore]

Purple, thank you so much. I so needed that.

Yankee, thank you also. I was just thinking of you today wondering how your were doing.

The doctor's office still have not called but my DH said just be patient. He has already started taking vitiamins and fertiaid. So hopefully that helps. He has been so supportive and understanding. Last night he told me he doesn't like watching shows like "Kate plus 8" he said he does not want that many kids at one time. LOL I don't either.

 

[PurpleKisses]

Haha I always marvel at how Kate has 8 kids and can still run around after them in heels! I know she had a tummy tuck, but I also envy her body lol! I don't think I could EVER handle 8 kids.

Hey Yankee! I'm glad all is well with you. I thought about you the other day and wondered how you were doing. You're right, black women do try to take on the whole world. The more I think about it, I realize I was really off of my rocker yesterday! I was telling my mom how I was "yelling and ranting like a banshee" and OH just kept asking me, "Are you ok?! What's wrong with you?! What's your problem today?!" and I kept screaming, "You're my problem! Don't you see??? Don't you see???? You're my problem!!!"...and he was just like, "No...I don't."...lol. My poor OH, he didn't know what hit him. I couldn't even tell my mom what set me off...meh...

Today was such a better day. I do miss my OH a little, though. I told him to leave and never call me again because he doesn't love me. He just looked at me like "ummmm ok...."....he went to his cousin's house and knowing him, he'll probably call me tomorrow...when he thinks I'm sane again. I know DS was thinking his mommy is completely loony. Ugh. Dang hormones. Poor OH doesn't know how not to take me seriously sometimes so he gets his feelings hurt...and gets sucked in when I decide to go off the deep end.

I think I'm going to wash my hair and straighten it tonight. I really want to see what my hair looks like straight and how long it is now. I'm excited lol

 

[Vrainoire]

Well i caved and tested and got a BFN...i'll just wait two more days to test again..

 

[ready4onemore]

Of course the doctors office called after hours and while I was on the phone with the stupid bookstore. Ugh!!

But she did leave a message to say everything looks fine and she will call me tomorrow with the details. I feel much better. Thanks ladies for all the prayers and encouraging words.

 

[mrskcbrown]

Well i caved and tested and got a BFN...i'll just wait two more days to test again..

Vrainoire try again and I pray you get your BFP!

 

[mrskcbrown]

Im steering clear of of 2nd trimester groups like the February love bugs, etc. I am staying away because there have been two second trimester losses and its freaking me out. One just happened yesterday at 17w6d. Devastated is not the word for what I would be.

I keep praying over myself and baby daily and asking God to please bring this baby to term with no complications. My friend said well if there is no blood then everything is ok. I said but you can go to DRs not hear a heartbeat, and there is no blood. She was clueless and didnt know that you could miscarry with no blood. Forgive me for being paranoid. I am though. I feel like until I get a real bump, Im always worrying. I still have the "you look fat" look.
I wont even take pics cuz it seems like Im at a standstill. I can still button most of my regular pants. Also another thing that makes me paranoid is when people say, "you dont even look pregnant".

Oh well, thats my soapbox for today! Whose next?

 

[PurpleKisses]

Ready, glad the test results came back fine.

Vrain, perhaps you tested too early. Sometimes it takes some women's hormones longer to rise than others. F'xd for you!

I'm doing great...think I woke up a bit too early (I didn't go to sleep until around 2 am)...I think I may take a quick nap before DS wakes up.

I had the weirdest dream. I had a dream that my uncle had brought me some things that my dad had left (he passed away the day before Thanksgiving '05)...and there was a note there. I remember standing there in my dream reading the note, which was on blue paper (his favorite color)...I can't remember exactly what it said, though. It was weird because I can't ever remember dreaming about my dad before last night/this morning...makes me wonder if he was trying to tell me something...

Anyway, I've been considering having OH and I go to couples counseling. Although I was very hormonal the other day, him and I have a lot of unresolved issues that keep resurfacing themselves in every argument that we have. A wonderful lady suggested that we go on a couples retreat called A Weekend to Remember. She said her and her DH had great success with it so I'm also looking into that. I love my OH dearly and I know he loves me but I can't see myself marrying him if we don't learn to communicate better, especially in times of high stress like now. I've said this to him before and I think we both feel the same way, that we can't communicate with the other at times. He gets so frustrated with me at times because of my insecurities (not feeling like he really cares although he does) and I feel the same way with him. Like the other day I started ranting about him thinking I wasn't good enough and that he's settling...because sometimes that's how he makes me feel. He kept saying I was making it all up and that he doesn't know why I feel that way, but he has said that I make him feel the same way at times. I know that I'm not the complete problem and I don't have a solution on how to fix it. I've been asking the Most High for guidance in this situation for a while now and I feel like there's a reason the lady told me about the couples retreat. What do you ladies think?

 

[mrskcbrown]

Ready, glad the test results came back fine.

Vrain, perhaps you tested too early. Sometimes it takes some women's hormones longer to rise than others. F'xd for you!

I'm doing great...think I woke up a bit too early (I didn't go to sleep until around 2 am)...I think I may take a quick nap before DS wakes up.

I had the weirdest dream. I had a dream that my uncle had brought me some things that my dad had left (he passed away the day before Thanksgiving '05)...and there was a note there. I remember standing there in my dream reading the note, which was on blue paper (his favorite color)...I can't remember exactly what it said, though. It was weird because I can't ever remember dreaming about my dad before last night/this morning...makes me wonder if he was trying to tell me something...

Anyway, I've been considering having OH and I go to couples counseling. Although I was very hormonal the other day, him and I have a lot of unresolved issues that keep resurfacing themselves in every argument that we have. A wonderful lady suggested that we go on a couples retreat called A Weekend to Remember. She said her and her DH had great success with it so I'm also looking into that. I love my OH dearly and I know he loves me but I can't see myself marrying him if we don't learn to communicate better, especially in times of high stress like now. I've said this to him before and I think we both feel the same way, that we can't communicate with the other at times. He gets so frustrated with me at times because of my insecurities (not feeling like he really cares although he does) and I feel the same way with him. Like the other day I started ranting about him thinking I wasn't good enough and that he's settling...because sometimes that's how he makes me feel. He kept saying I was making it all up and that he doesn't know why I feel that way, but he has said that I make him feel the same way at times. I know that I'm not the complete problem and I don't have a solution on how to fix it. I've been asking the Most High for guidance in this situation for a while now and I feel like there's a reason the lady told me about the couples retreat. What do you ladies think?

Counseling is always in order. Dh and I are married and we still do it. Its good to have a neutral party to listen and weigh in on your situation. Nothing bad could come from it. Also dont think it will take away all your insecurities or agruments though. It just helps you to manage them better.