Any ladies starting IVF in September?

[Ostara84]

It's lovely to see people getting BFPs in here. Am I a horrible person for feeling a little bit more sad for myself every time I see one, though? Please don't take that the wrong way.. I'm so happy for you ladies and it really is lovely to see some good news in here; I don't want anyone to feel like they can't post happy things... Because of course you all can and I truly am so happy for you. I'm just not in a very happy place myself right now I feel insanely jealous of people who don't have to go through this sadness, and then I feel guilty for feeling jealous because it's so selfish

Today did not start well. After two weeks off, it was time to go back to work and I was dreading it, because I'm really not good at pretending to be ok. Well, after having trouble starting the car (the car was fine - I just couldn't bring myself to start it), I went to work... Sat at my desk, realised I had forgotten my password so I couldn't log on to my computer and waited for my shift to start... Then one of the team leaders (my team leader is on annual leave this week) came over to ask if I was ok (my team leader made her aware of the situation so that she wouldn't expect too much from me today and most of my team know what's going on anyway) and I burst into tears... Which I think suggested I was not ok, because then she sent me home.

I didn't even make it to 8am (the start of my shift) and hit more traffic on the way home than I did on the way in, so I might as well have just stayed in bed!

I called the clinic to tell them that this cycle didn't work for us. What a rubbish phone call that is to make luckily, they are able to fit us in for a follow up appointment with our consultant on Friday afternoon, so we don't have to wait long to discuss our next steps. I didn't think they'd be able to fit us in so quickly, so that'd good. Maybe I'll feel more positive when I have a better idea of what's next.

Sorry for the selfish post girls. I hope you're all having a good Monday x

 

[LoveSunshine]

You're in no way a selfish person, there's no wonder you're feeling like you are.

Take good care of yourself and try and stay positive if you can hun. So sorry

 

[Ostara84]

Thanks lovesunshine don't be sorry - be over the moon - that's a lovely positive test. Don't let me dampen your good mood! Xx

 

[LoveSunshine]

I'm not in a good mood yet, I want it to be a dark like first then maybe I'll get excited xx

 

[19yrOldGirl]

Well my beta came back at 44 girls, my clinic ideally look for a beta of 50 so would like to repeat in 2days but 44 is still a good number yes? Can someone please confirm my thoughts on this lol x

 

[LoveSunshine]

How many days post transfer are you?

 

[19yrOldGirl]

9 dp 5dt

 

[star25]

I'm not sure on betas 19 but dont they say its not the number thats as important as if it doubles? I'm sure you will be fine though

Africaqueen It sounds really hopeful for you, praying for your positive x

Lovesunshine, looking good! Will you test tomoro?

Ostara, you are in no way selfish, I hope you have a good outcome after Friday's appointment, I'm sure it will make you feel better and it's good you dont have long to wait x

 

[africaqueen]

Ostara- you are bound to feel sad. I have spent years congratulating others on here and although feeling happy for them, feeling sad for myself as its all i wanted, so its natural to feel this way. You will feel better in a few weeks. Give yourself time x

Sunshine- Just thought, its your test a + test? as that 2nd blue line looks very clear and dark to me?? x

Girl- Some women have slow rising hcg so i would try not to worry. As Star said, its the doubling that matters. Good luck x

Star- Thanks! how u doing? x

 

[19yrOldGirl]

Thank you girls I'm just little worried I'm trying to put it too the bck of my mind but with this all been new to me I thought I could do with advice so thank you 😊, its appreciated I will try and stop worrying and hope I have a doubling beta at the next blood test.

Ostara I'm sorry about your cycle I hope you get all the answers you need and I hope you are back up here with all the others soon as possible, its a shame that your experiencing tough times atm and I don't blame you for feeling sad at the news of others announcing their positive's but ur not been hurtful in what your saying. You need to be able to express yourself and ur doing so well if you ask me. You don't seem at all bitter. Your inspirational.

How is everyone else doing? X

 

[Ostara84]

Morning ladies.

I really hope you see a good increase in that number tomorrow, 19. Try not to worry. I think the range is quite wide, especially in early pregnancy and, like others have said, it's the doubling that's important! I have fingers and toes crossed for you x

My feelings are a bit mixed today. After yesterday, I really thought I'd be ok to go back to work today, but I had a terrible night's sleep and just couldn't face it when I got up this morning I know I need to go back and start getting back to normal, but I couldn't face a repeat of yesterday.

When I called and spoke to my manager, though, I couldn't believe how supportive she was. I would normally speak to a team leader, but both are out of the office today, so I spoke to our manager instead and she was so lovely, really understanding. She said she'd been talking to the department head and, although our company doesn't have a policy in place regarding ivf, they're not happy that I've had to use all my annual leave and take unpaid days for my ivf treatment. They've agreed to allocate 10 additional days paid leave specifically for my ivf treatment and have said I can either claim back some of the annual leave and unpaid days I've already taken, or keep it for our next cycle. She said we can discuss it when I go back, but basically it means that, depending on what our consultant says on Friday, we might not have to wait until the new year for another cycle and, even if we do, I won't have to use all my annual leave next year for appointments and time off after transfer

I'm still feeling very sad and I'm not sure when that will go away, but it's such a relief to know that our next cycle is determined by what our consultant thinks is best and not when I can afford to take time off work! I know lots of women struggle with telling their employers and have trouble fitting appointments in around work. I feel very lucky to have so much support at work.

Hope everyone else is doing ok x

 

[star25]

Thats good news ostara, it makes such a difference when you dont have to worry about work and you can continue with treatment, my manager is really good too, I was manager up until a year ago but dropped down, its a smallish company with about 25 staff but the current manager and owner said they will do whatever it takes for me to get pregnant and if I'm lucky enough for it to work at some point I can choose my hours and do office work, the owner said I could bring a baby with Mr and she wouldnt mind, I think she just wants to make sure I actually go back!

Hope everyone else is well x

 

[africaqueen]

Hi ladies.
Hope everyone is ok as can be x

Well today i have felt spaced out an just odd. I am defo feeling pregnant! its the same feeling i had with my other 2 pregnancies and even tho they were ectopic im sure the preg hormones are just the same?
Now when i was out today, i purchased 2 pregnancy tests and as dh is now going to be working away Thur-Sun i am wondering.... shall i test tomorrow in the hope of seeing a faint BFP?? My OTD is Sat and tomorrow i will be 10dpt3dt so what do i do? i am not a fan of early poas as you may of guessed! lol. BUT, I have a strong feeling and also i want dh to be here so we can celebrate together before he goes to work? xxx

 

[LoveSunshine]

I say do it. If it's worked then it will show by now.

Oo exciting, got my fingers very much crossed for you!

 

[melissaelaine]

I know how hesitant you are to POAS, so it's a tough choice. But I agree with Love that it will probably show if you are pg! Let us know what you decide to do!

Here is a little update on me. We got the call yesterday that all 12 of my eggs were mature and they did ICSI on all 12, and of those 12, 7 fertilized into embryos. I was hoping to hear more today, but our clinic doesn't observe them every day, hoping to keep disturbances down. I am tentatively scheduled for a transfer tomorrow at 1:00, although my nurse said they'll probably do a 5 day transfer on Friday instead. So, we will see what they say tomorrow!

 

[africaqueen]

Sunshine- Yeah you are right! OMG just seen your siggie! did u test again today??! x

Melissa- FAB news! good luck for tomorrow or friday! x

 

[LoveSunshine]

Yep! I can't remember where I've posted the picture so here it is again (hope you don't mind)

 

[africaqueen]

CONGRATS!!
Wonderful news!
Hope to join you soon!!

 

[louise31]

Hi ladies!
Sorry I have not been on here for a few days and am quite out of the loop. africaqueen I have everything crossed for you!
Melissa well done!! I hope and pray I get more eggs this time!!
Big hugs Ostara it will take time for things to heal xx
As for me I am on day 9 of stims today. Went last Friday for a scan and I have 18 follicles, but the sonographer wondered if she could see a polyp on the scan (not another suspected polyp!!!??) so I am booked in to see a special sonographer tomorrow at 12 who has better equipment and will be able to say for sure. Either way polyp or not ER is scheduled for Friday or Monday. I am hoping its Friday as my belly is starting to feel quite full and I am getting so tired. Katbar how are you doing? Hope everything is going well for you x

 

[louise31]

Congrats Lovesunshine!! Can you spread some luck this way please!!?