So today I have some time (and energy) to finally reflect on this past week! Geez I feel like I've been through some sort of car crash trauma but I'm slowly recovering and feeling more human!
I still sit here in a state of disbelief really that our twinnies are here already and they're not longer inside me!
It started on Monday, an ordinary day, I had the most relaxed day I've ever had. No computer work just nice chilled day. Went to lunch with one of my bessies and hubby for her bday and had a leisurely stroll back. About 5pm I felt a bit wet down below. Lay down as I was tender and watched tv with hubby. Still felt a wet feeling down below and was feeling a little trickle even lying down. Told DH to make dinner and if it continued we'd phone hospital. Well it got to 7pm and I got up for a wee and I had a large wet patch on my trousers so we phoned hospital and they said to come in. (didn't even get to eat my dinner! lol)
Was hooked up to lots of different monitors etc and on initial assessment could feel contractions and definately was leaking water. Cervix was 3cm dilated!! :s Was given a steroid injection and told they would monitor me. They could stop contractions but just wanted to check that I didn't have an infection. If I didn't and my water was ok they would try and keep me from going into labour. Was just about to tuck into my sandwich after re assuring my mum that things would be ok when whoosh I thought my waters had gone but it turned out to be huge blood loss
It kept on coming and coming and coming, so much blood I have never seen so much! Well after that things were a complete blur. I was jabbed with injections from every angle, emergency c section was the only option due to the amount of blood loss they said I was critical. No time to fill out the paperwork I was rushed into theatre for surgery.
The C section was the worst experience of my life. I could feel so much pulling and tugging it was horrendous. The babies arrived, Max first 2lb 10 ozs crying and then Isla 2lbs 8ozs crying. I didn't get to see either and that's when my c section turned awful. I began to feel my legs, I could even lift them. I panicked and stop them to stop, they gave me more drugs but it didn't help. I begged them to knock me out in the end and they did I was so traumatised. They struggled to sort the bleeding and to get all of Max's placenta out as it was this that had ruptured and caused all the bleeding.
I spent the next day in critical care where I passed in and out of consciousness! Max and Isla were good weights for nearly 29 weeks so they decided not to transfer them to London. Thank goodness!
I eventually saw them on the Weds for the first time. In a bad way I couldn't muster the strength to see them for long but it was pretty scary to see all the wires etc around them. They weren't ventilated but were having air pumped into them.
5 days on they are now off all breathing support and holding their own
I have attached 2 piccies of them. I can't believe they're here and they're perfect. I feel so bad that because of me they're having to go through all this trauma, I wish they had stayed in me for longer but I'm glad they're alive and day by day I'm willing them to get stronger!
I was discharged on friday and today I am feeling far more human. Still incredibly sore but up and about now.
I manage to visit once a day (from yesterday) and that's all I can do at the moment as I'm so exhausted. I'm expressing and doing well with that now so I'm able to do my bit and give them what they need which is good. They were being weighed last night (they said to expect weight loss at first) so I'll see how they're doing tonight
this morning ladies! First on an FRER and then on a digi (Pregnant 1-2 weeks 
