April ‘baby’ showers 2020

[motherofboys]

MIL "met" Reuben yesterday. We had to go to the shops as we get free school meals vouchers which can't be used online, so on the way back we stopped and called her to come to her gate and we stood on the front path, 2 metres away, with him. 3.5 weeks and finally a family member has seen him.

 

[swedengirl]

Glad someone from the family finally got to meet him mother!

We planned to have a distance picnic this weekend with OHs sisters but now there were confirmed cases of corona at their work so that’s now off the table! I really want to be able to show off my gorgeous little one!

 

[motherofboys]

It's so hard isn't it? All the things we imagined for this time are all on hold. I had been looking forward to our first summer with him, visiting the beach etc, and while lockdown could be lifted by then I'm not sure I'll feel safe. And yes he'll still get that first trip there, just a year later when he will probably actually enjoy it more, and our safety is much more important, it's still hard to adjust the images in your head.
We've decided that while we have a choice in the matter the boys won't return to school until September at the earliest. We need to feel it's safe with a baby and DH being in an at risk group. I'm considering not sending ds4 back at all, but haven't broached that with DH yet. We have different opinions on acceptable reasons to home educate

 

[happycupcake]

I hope you're all well. I haven't been here much.

Nobody in my family has met Bluebell until my sister yesterday when she briefly met me outside our home to exchange nuts and maternity towels (she's due soon, in 7 weeks). She only saw her briefly. Didn't hold her or anything, nothing remotely normal.
99.9% certain my mum has had covid and is still suffering. She's been extremely unwell since right before Bluebell arrived, so almost 2 months. She's had such difficulty with coughing and breathing she's had to avoid talking. So clearly she hasn't even got out of the house until very recently, and even now she's recovering then it hits her again and she's really poorly again, so she hasn't seen Bluebell. I'm finding it hard because she's always met all of my children from day one. And of course it's worried me her being that unwell, particularly with how stubborn she can be.
I'm not happy with how fast Boris is lifting things. I think it's way too soon, opening schools is definitely not a good idea, we will be heading for a second wave I think, unfortunately

 

[motherofboys]

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, I hope she makes a full recovery soon.
I agree with you on opening schools. Ds4 is the only one in a year group that would be going back, his school has said they will take year 6, but will be meeting on the 1st to discuss whether to even open to the younger ones. I'm hoping they choose not to. We've already said we won't be sending him back until September, if at all. I'm considering pulling him out to home ed with ds3, but DH and I have differing opinions on appropriate reasons to home ed. But yeah, it would be nice for school to decide they don't want them back yet so there's no debating it with others questioning why I'd choose to keep him off.

 

[motherofboys]

Is anyone feeling like they might like another? I'm definitely going mad, right?

 

[star25]

Mother you're not going mad, I'm the same and glad I'm not the only one hahaha!

 

[star25]

Happy how is your mum now? I hope she's well

Dd wont be going back to pre school so will just start reception in Sept now and ds will start pre school there 3 days a week, it will be nice to have them at the same place and not have to do different drop offs, until Annabelle starts at the childminders that is!
That's not til after Christmas though

Annabelle is well, we get about 6 hours sleep a night, couple weeks ago it was more 7 or 8 but think she's been through the 6 week growth spurt, I'm surprised I haven't felt too bad during the day, even though dh is still mainly home and I could sleep in more, with her feed g it isn't worth it sometimes
We've had a couple of beach days so got a pop up uv tent to keep us in the shade

Can't believe we have 3 more months of no childcare or having to go anywhere, I miss our playgroups, music classes and soft play

We had my mum round this week in the garden so she has finally seen Annabelle properly
My sister had the twins 4 weeks after Annabelle was born, a boy and a girl, they're home now after being born at 34 weeks
It's so horrible we've both had babies after both having ivf and can't even have each other round properly, where they're prem we won't risk seeing them yet, it will be hard to keep ds and Dd away, they dont understand the 2 metre rule, Dd tries but does forget

 

[motherofboys]

Congratulations to your sister. It's such a shame you can't be together right now, it should be such an amazing time finally getting babies after IVF and not even being able to show them off takes some of the shine off.

Reuben generally goes quite well at night. He'll sometimes sleep in the first part of the evening but not always, whether he sleeps or not he'll feed around 10:30 and then go right off again. He was waking every 2 hours after that, but recently he's been going through until 3 or 4, then every 2 hours, which is great. The last 2 days though he's woken at 3 or 4 and laid there kicking about for an hour or 2. Not ideal, but not awful either.
I don't think we will have another, I've not even raised it with DH, though we have our 6 week check the week after next (at 7 weeks) and will have to bring up contraception with him ahead of that. It's funny but after the birth I was sure I couldn't do that again, now it's the things that went wrong that make me want to in a way, I feel like I can't leave it like that, I wanted to leave that part of my life on a good note with a happy birth and feeding working out etc.

 

[star25]

Mother, I had my best birth this time so kind of feel like I should leave it at that lol, I know I won't, I'm also blaming Coronavirus for making me want another after ruining the end of this pregnancy with the anxiety and not being able to see family etc after she arrived, feel like I should do it all again lol

 

[motherofboys]

It's as good an excuse as any
I said to DH about needing to sort the newborn clothes to get rid of and he said "aren't you saving them for the next one?" I won't get my hopes up as he has joked about that a few times when I was pregnant then said that we do really need to be done.

 

[star25]

Haha hope he wasn't joking mother, I need to sort mine out too, it's already gone so quick, feels like I've only just washed these clothes when I was pregnant and now I'm putting them away already as they're too small

 

[motherofboys]

They just grow so fast don't they?
I hope so too, though it makes no sense logically with space etc
One of the factors is that the others are so much older, I feel like he needs one to be close to who will want to watch preschooler cartoons and play with little kid toys with him.

 

[swedengirl]

Hi All! Sorry been busy- not sure doing what though! Its been great weather so I guess just being out and about!

Omg I’m soooooo glad you guys are also thinking about having another! It’s on my mind a lot and Eleanora is only 9 weeks! I definitely don’t feel done and really hope OH is up for at least one more and if I’m really lucky 2!

Congrats to your sister Star! It is so so sucky we can’t be loved ones. We met OHs family for a distance picnic so they finally got to meet her from a far at 8 weeks. But I’m so desperate for others to see how awesome she is... feels awful not being able to share her. DD1 also has started asking to stay at her grandmothers and I think she’d really benefit from having some time there being spoilt...

Sleep wise she is great at night. Put her down at 9 and she sleeps to 5 feeds and back to sleep to 7. But she is a daytime catnapper and I’m struggling to get her to nap longer than 40 minutes unless I have her in the carrier. We moved bed time to 8.15 today as she’s been super fussy in the evenings- so we see what tonight brings!

 

[star25]

Ahh that's great sleeping sweden, Annabelle went 10-4 last night then 5-7 but pretty sure it Was a one off lol
She generally isn't too bad and when wakes for a few will only feed for a couple mins now then straight back down so that's good

Thank you for the congrats on the twins mother and Sweden, we saw them for the first time yesterday at 4 weeks old, so tiny and perfect

I think I will start the ivf again after Xmas, the other times I have had a transfer when they were 18 months old. Making a 2yr 2month age gap between all, which wasn't intentional just how it worked out
I'm 38 in jan and if we end up with 1 embryo after having another I would probably want to use it rather than destroy or donate
I've got 3 left so who knows, none of them might work but I cant not try again
If it wasnt for Coronavirus I would probably start sooner lol

 

[motherofboys]

You guys make me feel less crazy for thinking about this. I'm hoping DH will agree to try January too, so we could be in TTC together.
It's taken me longer to conceive each time so if that pattern continues I could be looking at 4 years, I don't really have that amount of time though so I think I'll give it a year then give up. Of course that all hypothetical I'd love to just start trying now tbh but waiting a few more months seems like the wisest thing. Plus if I did fall quickly I would have 4 birthdays in quick succession.
Reuben had his 6-8 week check today, he is 7 weeks and 12lb 12. The doctor gave me a prescription for the pill.

 

[star25]

Haha mother, I love how we've pretty much decided we're trying again and when we're starting, where I have to go to the clinic winters better for me as dh is less busy, with annabelle he only came to the first appointment to sign consent forms then I went to all the rest on my own so he could have the other 2 as it was the summer holidays
I still had them in the childminders 2 days a week but my appointments didn't fall on those days
Also I have to get a ferry and its a hassle getting there, not just a quick trip so doing it on my own is easier really

 

[motherofboys]

Yeah that does sound like it's easier to do it that way.

 

[swedengirl]

Haha so looks like we are all having another! Didn’t plan to discuss it with OH but we were making some future planning and I just said that “well if we decide to have another” and get said “ why ‘if’do you not want more?” And I said that I definitely did but wasn’t sure on him and he said “oh definitely at least one more”.

I’m not ready now but thinking I’ll use breastfeeding as protection until 6 months and then natural/pullout later as not horrendous if it was to happen so feels we can be a bit more relaxed there.

hows life with corona now in the uk?

 

[motherofboys]

DH told me yesterday not to go fill my prescription for the pill. I said "you know what could happen" and he just said "they aren't good for you, you shouldn't take them" I'm not entirely sure what that means at this point but he had no problem with me taking it in the past....

How funny that so many of us are already discussing another. Being relaxed about it sounds like a good idea.

Corona wise things are easing. Schools have opened to year 6 and some are open to reception and year 1. Our school have left it entirely up to parents whether they want to send their children within those age groups and we decided against it. Non-essential shops are beginning to open, and you're allowed to meet others outside or have up to 6 people in your garden as long you maintain social distancing from those not in your household. We keep laughing about the fact that we can only have 6 people in the garden as technically that means we can't have everyone from our household in the garden at once, let alone a guest.
Different parts of the UK have different rules too. Like Scotland it's 8 people in the garden.
Things haven't really changed for us, the kids are all still home, we don't go out other than walking the dog, appointments and essential shopping. Ds2s football is the only difference because they've been allowed to go to training again as long as they are only in groups of 6, and are distanced. He started last night and they had cones 2metres apart that they had to stay in line with. Their own equipment each that they weren't to share, and had to use hand gels.