Can't admit to anyone else...

[Tess08]

My husband is upset too. At beginning of scan she was like its definitely a girl and showing me the 3 lines and labia etc. Then she went into 3d and in every view there is this thing sticking out. I know I'll love my boy but he's boy no 7 and my daughter thought she was finally getting a sister. We'd went shopping and bought pink and everything.

I've also read that 2D is more accurate than 3D so I wouldn't get too upset yet if she has identified it as a girl in 2D! X

 

[3boys]

In 2d the pics looks girl in 3d you can see an obvious protrusion which she's hoping is the clitoris bit can't be sure it's not boy parts she said she can't find testicles. Hubby is just as upset as I am in fact when I first broke the news I think he was more upset than me. We are going to try and not have another scan and just prepare for a boy while hoping for a girl as I know once that baby is in my arms I won't care. I've packed away the girl clothes for now.

 

[Tess08]

In 2d the pics looks girl in 3d you can see an obvious protrusion which she's hoping is the clitoris bit can't be sure it's not boy parts she said she can't find testicles. Hubby is just as upset as I am in fact when I first broke the news I think he was more upset than me. We are going to try and not have another scan and just prepare for a boy while hoping for a girl as I know once that baby is in my arms I won't care. I've packed away the girl clothes for now.

I would be inclined to think it is a girl then. If everything except 1 thing is suggesting girl then that's what i would go with. How far on are you? X

 

[sil]

3boys, I had an obvious protrusion in my 3D scan at 13 weeks, but I am having a girl. Let me find photos for you. There is an obvious protrusion between her legs that I swore was a penis/scrotum, but I was told at 16 weeks it's a girl, and this was confirmed at 18 weeks and 22 weeks

 

[sil]

its another boy and i cant even explain how i am feeling right now, angry, sad, ashamed of myself for the way i feel and sometimes completely numb. i am so bloody upset and my husband cant understand it. He understands that i wanted a girl and knows i am disappointed but he said we had a 50/50 chance and the baby is healthy and there is nothing i can do so i should be happy.

I honestly thought i had convinced myself enough to be happy but i have not. I will never see what my daughter would look like, never do her hair! how the hell am i supposed to get over this feeling? I am no longer excited about this pregnancy and i feel terrible for not being and that is making me more upset

I'm so sorry things did not go the way you were hoping, Kat. I felt the same exact way you are describing now when I had my DS2. At the time we were almost positive he would be our last baby, and I was devastated at the loss at the idea of the girl. Please don't hesitate to come and talk to us. We are all here for you and have all either felt it before or have felt the fear of it before. Never be afraid to come for a cry or a moan You don't need to feel bad at all. It is completely normal to struggle with these feelings.

 

[kat132]

i just want to go to bed and sleep to be honest. maybe i will feel better in the morning i dont know. What makes it worse is i know 1 person who cant have anymore kids and another who lost her 2nd boy at 9 months and i feel so ungrateful and selfish. I cant change what he is so i am going to do my best to be happy and embrace being a mum of all boys. This is 100% my last. i am 31 and done after he is born. I couldnt deal with a 4th being a boy again or going through everything else that goes with it so i will look forward to being loved and cherished by the 4 boys i will have in my life.

I am gonna go and cry myself to sleep, maybe letting out some tears will help

 

[Bevziibubble]

Big hugs Kat

 

[3boys]

The first pic is what she was initially saying was 100% girl she showed me labia etc. second is the protrusion shes talking about. im either 14+5 or 15 weeks

 

[Tess08]

i just want to go to bed and sleep to be honest. maybe i will feel better in the morning i dont know. What makes it worse is i know 1 person who cant have anymore kids and another who lost her 2nd boy at 9 months and i feel so ungrateful and selfish. I cant change what he is so i am going to do my best to be happy and embrace being a mum of all boys. This is 100% my last. i am 31 and done after he is born. I couldnt deal with a 4th being a boy again or going through everything else that goes with it so i will look forward to being loved and cherished by the 4 boys i will have in my life.

I am gonna go and cry myself to sleep, maybe letting out some tears will help

I honestly know exactly how you feel and I know you feel guilty for feeling like this because I did too. My friend lost a baby who had edward syndrome at 15 weeks last August and then in Dec she also lost her 4 year son who had a heart defect. I tried to focus on her and how lucky I was that my baby was healthy when I had the horrible thoughts I was having but unfortunately when it's in your head there's nothing you can do about it. The ladies on here told me to allow myself to grieve the daughter I thought I was having and I really think that helped. Being able to let it out and actually admit to myself that yes I was having these thoughts but it was okay because I just needed to accept my life was going to be different to what I had always pictured. I'm not going to lie, I felt like things only got worse for me over the couple of weeks following finding out I was having a boy so a good nights sleep tonight might not be quite enough for you to deal with it but then again it might be! Everyone is different. As I said earlier tho I'm defo feeling better about it now and I hope you will be soon too. Check in with us soon and let us know how you are getting on. It's easier said than done but try not to be ashamed of yourself. There are so many of us who have felt the exact same way x

 

[3boys]

i just want to go to bed and sleep to be honest. maybe i will feel better in the morning i dont know. What makes it worse is i know 1 person who cant have anymore kids and another who lost her 2nd boy at 9 months and i feel so ungrateful and selfish. I cant change what he is so i am going to do my best to be happy and embrace being a mum of all boys. This is 100% my last. i am 31 and done after he is born. I couldnt deal with a 4th being a boy again or going through everything else that goes with it so i will look forward to being loved and cherished by the 4 boys i will have in my life.

I am gonna go and cry myself to sleep, maybe letting out some tears will help

I have felt that way numerous times its ok to feel like that, doesnt mean you wont treasure your son x

 

[kat132]

no a good nights sleep didnt help at all i feel worse today. I have not been hungry since i found out, i dont want to be around my boys, i dont want to eat i just cant stop crying.

i dont know what to do. in feel so lost i really didnt think i would feel like this and i cant talk to husband about it!

 

[Bevziibubble]

 

[kat132]

my mum found me on the street sobbing and took me to hers for a cuppa. i have had a good talk and a good cry. Feel slightly better.

My friend who lost her son 4 years ago is very supportive. I feel bad for how i feel as she cant even fall pregnant again now so only has 1 child. She is very jealous that i am pregnant but still understands how i feel.
She has lost 5 people over 4 years including her son and step father and said something very wise to me.

Life is too short to pine for the things we dont have. we must enjoy what we do have and make the most of it, especially love and friendship. This made me think a lot!

I am still getting that feeling of 'another boy, boy clothes, toys, same old same old' and i am still getting a little angry and upset but it is only 24 hours since finding out so i have to give myself some time. I cant thank you all enough for letting me vent
Talking about it really is the best thing and even my husband has come round today and is not so upset with me.

 

[Tess08]

my mum found me on the street sobbing and took me to hers for a cuppa. i have had a good talk and a good cry. Feel slightly better.

My friend who lost her son 4 years ago is very supportive. I feel bad for how i feel as she cant even fall pregnant again now so only has 1 child. She is very jealous that i am pregnant but still understands how i feel.
She has lost 5 people over 4 years including her son and step father and said something very wise to me.

Life is too short to pine for the things we dont have. we must enjoy what we do have and make the most of it, especially love and friendship. This made me think a lot!

I am still getting that feeling of 'another boy, boy clothes, toys, same old same old' and i am still getting a little angry and upset but it is only 24 hours since finding out so i have to give myself some time. I cant thank you all enough for letting me vent
Talking about it really is the best thing and even my husband has come round today and is not so upset with me.

Oh Kat big hugs to you

I was the same after my first nights sleep. I actually felt worse when I woke up the next morning. So you are definitely not alone there.

That really is a wise thing for your friend to say. I completely get where she is coming from with that one and that must be something hard for her to say given what she has been through. It is still okay for you to feel upset over something you always thought you would have in your life though.

I am glad to hear you have people in your life to speak to about it. That is something I didn't have which is why I think it has taken me nearly 5 weeks to come around to the idea of having a baby boy. I tried to speak to my sister about it and she got angry with me. I think she felt personally insulted by the things I was saying because she already has a son. I tried to explain to her that I wasn't saying I didn't like baby boys but just that its not ever something I pictured in my life and I was so desperate for my daughter to have a sister to share the bond that me and my sister have because she really is my best friend but unfortunately she couldn't see it that way and just got angry with me for being 'ungrateful to have something many people would kill for, a beautiful healthy child'. That just made me feel worse for a while so I didn't talk to anyone else about it. I really think it will help you come to terms with it quicker than I did that you have your mum and your friend to speak to who really understand where you are coming from because I think you are right, getting it out in the open is the best thing to do. And feel free to vent on here as much as you need to as well x

 

[3boys]

Kat132 how are you doing?

 

[kat132]

Kat132 how are you doing?

I am feeling better today. i still feel a bit meh sometimes. I went out and got a few bits for him today which helped so i am looking forward to a really big shop He is healthy and very active so i need to concentrate on that rather than the fact that he has a penis. I know he will be an individual. I am finding it hard to get excited about everything blue and boy related though i have to say

 

[3boys]

Kat132 how are you doing?

I am feeling better today. i still feel a bit meh sometimes. I went out and got a few bits for him today which helped so i am looking forward to a really big shop He is healthy and very active so i need to concentrate on that rather than the fact that he has a penis. I know he will be an individual. I am finding it hard to get excited about everything blue and boy related though i have to say

I know that feeling all too well, for me it always got worse for a few weeks after finding out and then i gradually started to accept it was a boy and forget the desire for a girl and excitement to meet him would start. I remember being in labour with my last baby boy and it wasnt looking good for him just before he was born and i couldnt help being angry with myself for desiring a girl so much. But yet here i am again lol

 

[kat132]

i was upset about my 2nd being a boy and i actually didnt want to mother him for a week after he was born. i asked my husband to take him back to the hospital always looking at him thinking what a girl would have been like. I absolutely adore him now (even though he is a little monkey) and i wouldn't swap him for any girl.

When i said to husband i wanted another he has been so worried because he remembers how i felt with Ollie and when the tec said boy he looked at me and watched my face change. once we were out he tried to make me feel happy about it but no luck. He said 'you knew that you had a very high chance of it being a boy so why are you so shocked?'. i had no answer! now he is worried i will reject this one when he is born especially as i have suffered with anxiety and depression since my 2nd was born which is really hard to deal with. Not to do with him being a boy i had a big life change around the same time he was born

I just hope i will be ok when he is here.

 

[3boys]

Oh hun that's awful I'm so sorry you had to go through that I can only imagine what a worry that is for you with this pregnancy. I can't advise but I'm here if you need to talk x

 

[peach81]

So I posted here several weeks ago about my intense desire to be having a girl. I spoke of how I've always wanted a daughter, and how much I was afraid of how I was going to react at my anatomy scan if the news was not what I was hoping for.

Well, that scan was yesterday and I must admit that my reaction surprised even myself. I went in fully prepared to hear a confirmation of a girl. Everyone in the family had been fully convinced that I was carrying a girl based on my weight gain, which even I had to admit was a silly reason, but it gave me hope. As soon as I saw my little one on the screen, I was all smiles. And when the tech asked if we wanted to know the sex, I answered "Yes, definitely!"

And she said "Well, it's a boy."

And I...

...didn't care.

I just didn't care.

And THAT really surprised me. Why wasn't I bothered? I thought I would be dejected. But I had already fallen in love with him long before we had gotten to this point; why would his sex make any difference to me now? All I cared about was seeing my little one on the screen again, bigger and stronger, and in just a few short months, he's going to be outside with us in the world. No disappointment. None whatsoever.