I totally feel your frustration. This cycle I actually BD with my ex, but have already made arrangements for donor insemination that I now won't start until next cycle. The main reason I didn't insem this cycle, was so I can be certain of the parentage of my child.
The TWW is such a pain, especially now since I really want to do the insem, but I would be just as happy if pregnant... just a bit sad because I want nothing to do with my ex.