July/August IUIs

Hey everyone! Lots of exciting and hopeful symptom spotting this week! Hope y'all are all doing well. HearMy Prayers and Babywhisperer I'm sorry for the bfn's :( I understand the need to take some time off. I am almost to that point too, I think it's good to take a step away and let the meds cycle out of your system and clear your head from all the appointments and stress. The past week or so has been so horrible for me. Just sadness keeps creeping in at random times! :( I had my annual yesterday at my regular ol gynecologist's office and my dr talked to me about depression! I mean, I know infertility and it's treatments can bring about depressive symptoms, but I don't think I am "depressed". It's hard to tell. She was so good to bring it up and talk about it. She's such a sweet doctor, I really want her to deliver my kids one day- she has brought me so much help and hope and just been everything good a doctor should be. I only see her once a year but she's always sweet! Anyways, I am not up for anti depressants, but AM going to try and keep an eye out in case symptoms worsen. I do acupuncture, essential oils, yoga, and running to help keep me sane and NOT depressed through this process.

Saw my RE today. So they were expecting to just check my ovaries and see why the follicles weren't growing, but I started AF monday so this ended up being my baseline. I still had the actual RE do it. When she asked how I was doing I just welled up with tears and said "frustrated". WIth everything, my body, the appointments, everything. I told her I just want to know what's wrong so we can fix it. She said, my body is somewhat of an anomoly, but that's what they're there for. She ooh and ahh'd about my lining at this stage and about how fertile my ovaries looked. So that was it for the baseline. BUT, she did talk about the possibility of me being polycystic bc there were a lot of little follicles already starting. She said sometimes having that many can get confusing for one to take over as the dominant one. She didn't say there were too many, but she said they'd look at it. I don't have many of the symptoms (not overweight, regular cycles, no insulin problems, never have had acne, no excessive hair growth) but I hear sometimes you don't have symptoms or cysts like you said Raelynn. It's funny that you mentioned it and then she mentioned it. Maybe not a coincidence. I would be pissed to be going for almost 3 years and having no one thought of that yet though! Even with laprascopic surgery and monthly blood draws of every kind. But it's possible and better sooner than later! She recently published a really great study with Texas Tech Women's Reproductive center about women with polycystic ovaries and some dietary changes that were shown in this study to help these women conceive. 8 out of 15 ladies in the study who were ttc got pregnant in the course of the study, and the others who weren't ttc saw significant hormonal and weight changes. She said they wouldn't hurt to try those changes this cycle. The changes are simple but she said had a big impact: unlimited lean meats, veggies, nuts, healthy fats, fruits, whole grains with no corn, no beans, and limited dairy. She said greek yogurt was included in the diet for this study and about 1 oz of cheese but no dairy milk etc. Some ladies showed improvement in pcos symptoms within a week and conceived within one cycle changing nothing about their lifestyle except their diet. She's a huge believer in diet and fertility and I didn't realize what a world renown researcher and professor she was as well as my RE. I'll link the news article about the research but still can't find the actual article. I really like research articles though so I'll link it when I find it.

Anyways, talking to Dr. Phy was like therapy/consult/emotional support plus a baseline. She was even so sweet as to file this visit as diagnostic and have insurance cover it 100%. I really welled up at that one when I went to pay. So, we have time if everything works out for ONE MORE IUI before school starts, and because my last insemination didn't happen it will be "free" this month. I still have my ovidrel from last month, and the money I didn't use last month will cover this month. In order for all to go well though I HAVE to grow follicles perfectly by 8/21/14 to inseminate before our first day of school 8/25/14. Talk about a hail mary. I am throwing every last ounce of hope I have in this one, but totally not expecting anything so as not tp be crushed if it doesn't work out.

Anyways, Raelynn let me in on any infor you have about polycustic ovaries and not having many symptoms or what you can do to get pregnant with it. I am not sure I have it, but it seems to add up in some ways.

Good luck this week to you all.

Sounds like you have an awesome Dr with a lot of compassion. Diet is huge for fertility. I hope the Hail Mary works. The good news is I have a friend with PCOS and with diet she has conceived 3 kids. It can happen once treated. Good luck hun.
 
Thanks. I plan to stop the P & test again tomorrow. I found a grant online. I am not sure if I will qualify but I am going to apply. They make a decision early October. So I am going to put my efforts in to getting that paperwork in...in the meantime I will relax & try to work out more to lose some weight. I have not decided if I will do IVF once I hear back from the grant or wait until January. The only issue now is my IVF treatments overlapping with the holidays. I do not want my stuff to interfere with other people's time off. I usually do not take time for Thanksgiving or Christmas except when the bank is closed.
 
Oh & more cramping today & my back feels fine...even after moving furniture last night to clean...Figures.
 
I've been really bummed out too over Robin Williams passing. I just read the post from his Assistant's husband and I broke down in tears. This man was so loved by so many, but what he was struggling with internally must have been so hard on him, its just so very sad.

I find my clomid cycles I am always a hormonal mess. I get anxiety, weepy, bitchy, you name it. Its just a drag.

How do you ladies stay motivated? I really want to focus on my diet and exercise and really start making a better effort, but I can't for the life of me find the motivation AT ALL! I feel exhausted all the time, tired etc. I know with diet and exercise that will improve but I just can't seem to find the push to eat better and get my ass off the couch!
 
It is definitely hard to get & stay motivated. I am always so tired & get get on the couch as soon as I get home...but I am trying to get motivated to at least walk 15 minutes a day on my treadmill.

So I don't know if your husbands (significant others) get PMS...mine def does. Now it seems my boss has it too. So every second today I feel like one of us is going to bite the other's head off. Not so great with my current mood.
 
Babywhisperer I am sorry that AF is brining you such bad PMS. I was also saddened by Robin William’s passing. He has always been one of my favorite actors. I am glad that you will be getting bloodwork and meeting with your RE right away.

Ltruns I hope that you can have a great progression this cycle. My neighbor has PCOS but only has cysts, she doesn’t have all the other symptoms either. She had to use Clomid for her first two and then just OPK’s after that. She always had to try for a few months because her body doesn’t always work. That diet sounds wonderful. I would love to give it a shot. I hope that you progress in time for an IUI prior to school starting. That’s great that’s its kinda free since you already had the money. How many u/s will you get between now and then?

beaglemom, I am so, so sorry that you got a BFN. I was really hoping it would be a BFP. I even told DH we would have our first thread BFP today. How are you holding up? I hope you can qualify for the grant to do IVF. I will be applying for grants too if this is a BFN. Plus, we will take some 401K money and maybe sell some company shares so we can afford 1 IVF. It would probably around the same time you do it. January-ish. I understand not wanting to do it over the holidays. I couldn’t imagine getting a BFN right before Thanksgiving or Christmas. How emotional I get, it would for sure lower the happiness in the room. I can’t believe your back is fine now. I wonder if it was a hormone thing or something. :hugs: :hugs:

HearMyPrayers my PCOS combined with Clomid has taken ALL my motivation. I used to work out every day, eat healthy and try to keep going. After starting Clomid again, it’s all gone. It’s everything I have to even wake up to face the day. I know that my motivation will return once I am on BCP and can lose some weight, but until then, I really don’t have any advice for you. All I can think of is maybe get a workout buddy. Even if you both just work out at home- call each other before the workout and after. It’s a great motivator to have a friend with you.
 
If the grant doesn't work out we plan to borrow against the 401K. You should look in to that option rather than taking a distribution. You pay like a regular loan & no penalties or anything. We also have a stock option but we would be required to pay taxes on the distribution. And our 401K & stock is set up as our emergency money/retirement money. But we will use it if we have to as a last resort.
 
I caught beagle on our other board already but again...I'm not counting you out!

So sorry babywhisperer! I hate those cd1 nights with the huge random cry. Usually I sit in the bath with a glass of wine. Ugh. Big hugs.

Ltruns, it's like you're in my mind! Haha get outta there! Remember I was talking paleo diet? Well my acupuncture is a psycho about diet and fertility. I've been doing a lot of reading on it. My problem is I'm soooo picky and I don't cook. So basically I have a HUGE problem. Lol so great this one is "free". Your RE sounds amazing. What a nice woman. I argue with DH about having pcos even though all I have are cysts. I hate baselines because there they are...waiting for me every single time. He says cysts are normal and I'm fine. I hate that he's a doctor sometimes. He just brushes things off. He says he does it so I don't freak out. Well, I freak out anyways so at least be on my side!!! So, by the time you have your next iui I will be done with bcps. I like that countdown. : )

Miki, are you testing next?

Hi to Babylala and butterfly!
 
beaglemom - I'm so sorry you got a negative. I thought for sure this was it for you. Hopefully you're just one of those late BFPs and it is still coming.

Mikihob - You sound just like me. I struggle so much just to wake up in the morning and feel so tired all day. It is so tough to find motivation. I used to run regularly but then stopped when hubby hurt his back and just can't seem to get back into it.

JCM - I can't imagine struggling with cysts each time. Any setback is so frustrating! So glad you're coming up to the end of your BCPs soon and can get things rolling again.
 
beaglemom that is a great idea, borrow against the 401K. That saves on those wretched taxes. I would rather use grants or share money or saved money than touch the 401K. We already did a distribution for TTC and it’s all gone with no BFP. Really wanting to avoid it this time around.

JCM I test tomorrow morning at 5am!! EEEK! Nervous, excited, hopeful, cynical…. Less than a day left!
 
We borrow from our 401 as well. Much better to borrow from ourselves I guess!
 
beaglemom that is a great idea, borrow against the 401K. That saves on those wretched taxes. I would rather use grants or share money or saved money than touch the 401K. We already did a distribution for TTC and it’s all gone with no BFP. Really wanting to avoid it this time around.

JCM I test tomorrow morning at 5am!! EEEK! Nervous, excited, hopeful, cynical…. Less than a day left!

Good luck, break this chain of bfn's...crossing my fingers for you!!
 
It is definitely hard to get & stay motivated. I am always so tired & get get on the couch as soon as I get home...but I am trying to get motivated to at least walk 15 minutes a day on my treadmill.

So I don't know if your husbands (significant others) get PMS...mine def does. Now it seems my boss has it too. So every second today I feel like one of us is going to bite the other's head off. Not so great with my current mood.

I think I'm going to just try and take baby steps and not just fully throw myself into cause that's when it all goes to sh*t lol.

Today I'm more serene, not as bad as yesterday. I was raging yesterday. Just horrible cramps all day today. I say just take a breather, go for a quick walk around the office if you feel things are getting a little tense. :hugs:
 
[B said:
HearMyPrayers[/B] my PCOS combined with Clomid has taken ALL my motivation. I used to work out every day, eat healthy and try to keep going. After starting Clomid again, it’s all gone. It’s everything I have to even wake up to face the day. I know that my motivation will return once I am on BCP and can lose some weight, but until then, I really don’t have any advice for you. All I can think of is maybe get a workout buddy. Even if you both just work out at home- call each other before the workout and after. It’s a great motivator to have a friend with you.

PCOS symptoms have really crept up on me lately. I've put on about 25 lbs in a year and a half. I was 139lbs when we got married (3 yrs ago November) and now I'm 165lbs. :cry: But ever since I went on clomid which was 2 years ago, I've just never felt the same. I almost feel like I don't own my body anymore, and I use to be so intone with myself. Its so weird the effects of hormones on almost every aspect of your well being. I dunno its like a one two punch every time you turn around in the struggle lol.
 
HearMyPrayers I hear you on the one-two punch and the not knowing your own body. It's tough putting your body and mind through so much and then losing control of it all. I wish I could get my body back, be "normal" and have babies. Of course, we all wish that don't we. :hugs:
 
beaglemom that is a great idea, borrow against the 401K. That saves on those wretched taxes. I would rather use grants or share money or saved money than touch the 401K. We already did a distribution for TTC and it’s all gone with no BFP. Really wanting to avoid it this time around.

JCM I test tomorrow morning at 5am!! EEEK! Nervous, excited, hopeful, cynical…. Less than a day left!


Good luck miki!!!
 
Just wanted to say hello to all! Sorry have been MIA...emotionally and physically exhausted and haven't been up to posting but have kept up with reading the posts and thinking of you all!
Good luck to all...I know testing is coming up! Hoping for you miki

Welcome hearmyprayers

I'm going to try to catch up this weekend :)
 
BFN. :cry: :cry: :cry: Devastated AGAIN. I made DH late for work cause I was crying so hard and he was trying to comfort me. I think it's harder on him since we have to use DS that he feels like my heartbreak is his fault. :cry: Today is going to be a rough, rough day.

Next step is birth control for a couple months, starting a new job soon to help save for IVF. We plan to do a 401K loan as well, but we need the extra money for savings, our vacation next year and for paying back the loan. If we can pay extra each month, we can not only get more out but pay it off faster.

I have this gut wrenching feeling that I will never have my dream of being a mother. I always wanted 3 girls and 3 boys (don't ask me why, I have never been able to explain it). I never imagined I would fight so hard for 1.

Thanks for being here for me and supporting me ladies. :hugs: I will definitely still be here to watch for and support you all. :hugs: :hugs:
 

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