Life after Loss Support Group........All Welcome :)

[dancareoi]

I understand that, getting to my frozen embryo transfer is whats been keeping me going. I'm so close to it to and now the witch is just playing with me giving me spotting and no cycle. She'd better get here soon.

Hope is the only thing keeping me going - i think without that I would totally fall apart.

 

[Andypanda6570]

Just checking in and letting you all know I am thinking of you all..
XOOXOX

 

[Kelly9]

Not many have been in here lately just me and Dan so hi.

Still no witch but more spotting.

 

[dancareoi]

Not many have been in here lately just me and Dan so hi.

Still no witch but more spotting.

Are things settling down a little? I think i have OV this week, but as we are not TTC i suppsoe it doesn`t mean anything.

Hope to tell Dh over weekend that i want to TTC next month, which will be approx 4 weeks time, we would actually be in Wales at that time.

I don`t think he`ll agree, but i need to tell him what i`m thinking.

Still feeling a little iffy from whatever i have had over the last few days, still not eating properly. Things like this bug don`t usually make me so ill, but as i said to DH i am probably a little run down at moment due to everything so not as strong to fight it off.

 

[WILSMUM]

Hi all can i join you?
My name is Anouska and I'm 35 years old and lost my baby at 18 weeks over the weekend.
I have a 6 year old son from my first marriage. My current DH adn I had a bit of a whilrwind romance and were married 5 months after getting together, its our 4th wedding anniversary on Monday! Anyway we decided to start trying for a baby of our own and as we both had kids from previous relationships we didn;t expect any problems, 12 months passed and no BFP so we started seeing the fertility specialist at the local hospital for tests etc, DH did a sperm test which was ok,not great but ok and then 15 months after we started ttc I got a bfp unfortunaltely it didn;t stick and i miscarried at 5 weeks so back to the fertility specialist we went and I had a lap and dye which showed my tubes were a bit screwed up, there was a way thru but it would make things difficult for egg and sperm to meet! 12 months after my early mc i got another bfp which resulted in our gorgeous daughter being born perfect and healthy. about 6 months after she was born we decided we would ntnp and 6 months later we get a bfp! went for dating scan at 12 weeks (got dated at 13+3) and saw a healthy wriggley baby with a strong healthy heartbeat, a couple of weeks later got the nuchal scan results back as low risk and all was good! We were so excited to be having another baby so close in age to our daughter, we even worked out they would be in consecutive years at school. And then saturday came, I had some slight bleeding when i wiped after going to the toilet first thing, the next couple of times i went to the loo there was nothing so i just put it to the back of my mind and got on with things, then at lunchtime there was more blood so i told dh, range the maternity unit and went in for a check up. Blood pressure and everything was fine, she felt my belly adn all was fine, no pain or anything then she got the doopler out, she couldn;t get a clear heartbeat but said she could hear it herself in the background, which is exactly what my mw had said at our 16 week appointment. she tried for ages to get the heartbeat so that we could hear it but couldn;t so basically said she would get the scanner so we could see baby instead. went thru to the scan room and as soon as the baby came up on the screen i could see it wasn't big enough to be 18 weeks, the dr looked for a bit then asked if she could get someone else in to have a look, we had my son and daughter in the room with us at the time so DH asked the mw if he should take them out and she said yes it would probably be best and then asked if they would be ok staying with a member of staff so dh could stay with me, so tshe took the kids off another mw came in who was also a sonographer and started the scan again and told us straight away there was no heartbeat and the baby had probably died not long after my dating scan as was only measuring around 15 weeks. we arranged to go back on monday for me to be induced but by half 5 saturday night i started having pains which i now know to be contractions! 4 hours later i'd given birth to out baby on the floor in the bathroom, and due to having to wait over an hour for an ambulance i delivered the placenta in the shower cubicle at home, the baby has been sent away for chromosone analysis but due to deliverying the placenta in the shower it became contaminated and they couldn;t send it away with the baby. I had to spend saturday night in hospital and now i'm back home having to get on with things! it just feels like i've stopped and the rest of the world is carrying on around me! i don't know what to do or what i should be doing. it could be up to 3 months before we get the results back but the drs have all said there is no reason why this would happen again and that there is no medical reason for us to wait and we can ttc again as soon as we feel ready. i just don't know if i want to atm sometimes i think i would like to then other times i think but what if it happened again. and then i think mayb i'm just too old, although i said that to the dr in hospital and she told me i was one of the youngest in maternity at the time!
i guess i'm still in shock, its only been 6 daysand i just can;t believe this has happened to us, life feels really unfair at times. And then i go on facebook and see people moaning about their silly little probems and i just want to go up to them and slp them and tell them to get over themselves as some of us have real issues/problems to deal with!

 

[Bride2b]

Hi Wilsmum, I'm really sorry for the loss of your precious one, its a hard time & sadly a long journey to find any comfort. I have found so much support here and so much guidance from these wonderful ladies who have also been through hard times too. I hope you find these parts of help over the coming days, weeks & months.
I know what you mean about trivial stuff people put on facebook! It hurts so much seeing the crap people write when you are suffering in such a way that most people will never understand (thankfully).
I wouldnt say that 35 is too old to try again, you will see that there are older ladies here carrying rainbows, so dont let your age put you off trying again if thats what you want. In most cases it takes a few months to get AF back to normal after the loss. I have just started my 3rd cycle after my loss in November & can safely say that my cycles have changed, although are now (hopefully) returning to 'normal.' I am ttc again after losing my first baby to PPROM at 19 + 3.
I hope the coming days are kind to you. xxx

 

[Kelly9]

So sorry to hear of your loss wilsmum

I lost my daughter at 18 weeks, she passed away hours after having intrauterine surgery to cut off massive blood flow into an external tumour attached to her tail bone.

 

[WILSMUM]

i think the hardest thing is not knowing y or what went wrong and knowing that even tho we are having chromosone analysis done its likely that we will never know. this weekend will b hard i think. But a lovely thing happened yesterday my dr who i've never met called to c how i was doing and to say to pop in if i need anything even just a chat! Was not expecting that.

 

[Kelly9]

I agree with you about not knowing, though it is not my situation, I think it would be way harder to have ultimately not known the reason, though we don't know for sure what the "complication" was we have an idea. I really feel for all you ladies that lost your little ones and never got an answer, I think you're all incredibly brave to have gone through that and then made it out the other end, or in some cases trying to make it out the other end.

 

[Nessa805]

My name is jeannessa im a 28y/o mother of 4 (2boys 2girls)
Ive had four 1st trimester losses and just had a 24w loss. I had a perfect lil girl in my eyes march 8 i go in for my 2weeks check up next week and juat still have alot of mixed emotions. I still dont know what to do the shock of it all.

 

[Kelly9]

So sorry Nessa, its a terrible thing to go through. I'm not the greatest at giving support at this point cause I'm still very much mixed up from our loss but the ladies floating around here are great.

 

[Andypanda6570]

My name is jeannessa im a 28y/o mother of 4 (2boys 2girls)
Ive had four 1st trimester losses and just had a 24w loss. I had a perfect lil girl in my eyes march 8 i go in for my 2weeks check up next week and juat still have alot of mixed emotions. I still dont know what to do the shock of it all.

I am so deeply sorry for you loss It is just a pain that never seems to go away, just gets manageable. I lost my Ava at 20 weeks over a year ago and I think about this baby every single day. Be gentle on yourself and we all are here if you need us, anytime.. Andrea

 

[Miss Mitch]

Hi everyone xx

 

[Kelly9]

Hi.

I'm starting my FET this cycle. I start down regging in 12 days. If all works I could getti rainbow baby in may.

 

[WILSMUM]

i'm sorry kelly but i didn't understand what any of that meant! but good luck for a may rainbow x

 

[Kelly9]

FET means frozen embry transfer we have to do fertility treatment. So I start the medication process April 3 with possible transfer of two day 3 embryos between April 30 and may 5. Does that help?

 

[WILSMUM]

yes thanks! Sorry for being dumb! I really hope it works for u xxx

 

[Kelly9]

You're not dumb you just thankfully don't need to follow the same path as myself.

 

[dancareoi]

You're not dumb you just thankfully don't need to follow the same path as myself.

wishing you lots of luck

 

[Kelly9]

Thanks, I'm going to need a lot of it in the coming month. The tww of this cycle is going to be brutal. I am trying so hard to be positive but it's sooooo hard.