*~lucky 13's- for those ovulating around 7/13/13

[mangotango]

Mango - Yep! Do you think you will test this month or just wait for AF? Can't wait to hear about your appt today?

Newlyweds- how are you doing? Have you had any spotting since your last BD session? Hope you're not feeling too worried.

AFM - I think I'm 10 DPO today. I was feeling really optimistic for a couple days and had a dream about having a baby, but today my temps went down lower than they should so I know I'm out. I am so tired of this waiting game and now that I have another friend in RL who's pregnant I'm having a really hard time not feeling behind. Why is it so easy for some people?

Literati, How are you doing? I have to wonder the same as you...why is it so hard for some people and easy for others?? We had a gal come in the other day that thought she miscarried 2 weeks ago, but never followed up with her doctor...guess what, she didn't and this is child #6 for her and she is living in a shelter. I understand that some people have hard times they go through, but $h*!...the last thing I'd be doing is having sex if I was in that situation. And here we sit unsuccessful, plus the girl didn't even seek care for the m/c or prenatal and she thought she was already 3 months at m/c time. wtf? really?

As for us, yup, we have no sperm 99% sure, the urologist said his balls are soft and mushy and a little smaller- as if they never matured as a baby/child. No wonder he has always been "sensitive" to the touch there! so from what urologist has seen (and is specialized in male infertility) even if he had sperm in there, it would not be mature and the only option would be IVF-ISC or ICS or whatever...but that's the difficult expensive stuff. Difficult because they'd have to cut him, biopsy him, check to see if there are even any sperm there, then save the few sperm, mature them, then harvest my eggs, and individually try to fertilize the eggs. We wouldn't be able to even try insemination with his sperm because chances are there is none, and hardly any if there are any, and immature. Basically we have to do a 2nd sperm sample to "confirm" zero sperm...and then we might look at donor sperm artificial insem. I don't want to 1. put him through the cutting/biopsy if there is a slim chance anyway. 2. Even if some sperm, I don't want to put us through the $$$ 3. I don't think I could handle being completely controlled and the large amount of traveling and procedures to harvest my eggs, control my cycles, and place eggs back, and then be devastated if it doesn't work and out $50k. We do not live close to a fertility facility that would do this so it would mean traveling a few hours, plus from knowing what a friend went through, it also means dropping everything as soon as they call and want you in to harvest and implant and do ultrasounds and labs and I do not have a job that is THAT flexible. At that rate, we could adopt a child that needs a loving home, and adopt again later. Or do insemination a few times. Who knows, maybe AI would take on me right away??

I think DH was pretty against AI when we first found out about the sperm issue a month ago, but as the doctor talked about how we can choose features/characteristics and that nobody needs to know but us and the doc...I think he is better with it. Although he is still in a denial..he made a comment, "how about we just keep trying for another year and maybe I'll grow some sperm"...oh hunny...that is delusional and lack of reality. We have to think reality. Yes am I hoping that one sneaks through? absolutely, I hope it every single day. but I know chances are it will never ever ever ever happen. Especially after the doc talked about the way his "balls" are not what they should be.

It's hard because I don't have time for appointments with being back in college for my graduate degree. I'm working full time. We have just enough time for each other and I don't see any friends or family. I don't have time to spend on appointments when I spend my entire days off on homework. Maybe we'll have to plan this during winter or summer break? IDK. God is crazy and I don't understand...but it is what it is.

So, that's me...I'm 12 dpo today...had an odd temp spike the past few days (I put my temps into the charting but the ones from right after O are what I remember, not certain. I know I had some dips and hovering at 97.9-98.0-97.7 but the past few days have been 98.3 and three days ago I woke up soooo warm but didn't temp, and that was the day after that weird CM I had. I wouldn't think that I O'd a whole week late....but that's the kind of temp spike I'm getting....soooooo I guess it's a waiting game. Not that any eggs met sperm anyway.

Enough bummer crap from me...Literati I hope you are doing well...nearing the end of your TWW!! I want to come on here this weekend and see another awesome BFP news from you! You deserve it so much!

Newlyweds, I hope you are doing well too!!

 

[Literati_Love]

Mango - wow, what an ordeal with your husband! I am so sorry that the news is so bad, and of course I completely understand not wanting to spend So much time, money ad energy doing those expensive fertility treatments that might not even work! How frustrating!

I am glad your husband seems to be coming around to the idea of AI. Of course no one would have to know! That's none of anyone's business unless you want it to be. And that is pretty neat that you can pick traits and such to find someone that looked like your husband. I really hope your husband really comes around to the idea more and you can go that route. I am sure it wouldn't take too long at all. and of course adoption is an excellent option as well!

sorry, that is really frustrating about that lady. Some people are so irresponsible.

AFM - well, hate to disappoint, but stupid AF arrived today. I really never thought this process would be so long and difficult. And I know people like you have it even worse but it just sucks. we're all just trying our best to start a family.

Newlyweds - how are you doing? I've been thinking Of you lots.

 

[mangotango]

Thanks Literati!
I totally understand how you feel, it's ok...just be glad you don't have my problem! I looked up IUI a little last night and makes me hopeful...but I don't even know when we'd make time to travel for that even. ehhhh...maybe we sit on it and take a winter vacation??

That sucks AF came!!! I thought she came today when I used the bathroom at work and then 10 minutes later it felt like a flood and I rushed back so I didn't bleed through my clothes...and nothing...thank goodness, but it's crazy how it feels like it.
BTW...dumb dumb FF...gave me a warning today under "Implantation signals" that my chart may have a "Possibly Triphasic on Day 25." Really? you are going to do that? I have never gotten that message! yeah, I guess I can see why and where it thinks that but the chances are quite slim. Gosh what a miracle it would be though! I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish! but BFN on ICs (of course I checked the past few days)

I feel like if adoption is what ends up happening, then it's meant to be from God to give a chance to a child that would not have a loving home. But like you said, this whole process is emotional and difficult. Even when life is amazing otherwise, that AF and BFN sucks!

Have a good weekend dear! Hang in there, at least now that AF is here you can begin the ovulation countdown instead of waiting 3 more days for a BFN and AF

 

[Literati_Love]

Yes, I am very thankful that we are "fertile" or at least, it happened once so I assume it can happen again. Although I can't say we haven't been without hardship. I guess we all have our own trials to deal with in this journey . I have heard good things about IUI although I don't know a whole lot about it. That sounds like a good idea - just take some time to mull it over and have a nice vacation to just relax and take the pressure off! You deserve it! If you ever need to rant about your situation, feel free. You really are so strong and are taking this hard news incredibly well considering. You're amazing! And you and your dh are going to be AMAZING parents, no matter what route you take to get there.

That's weird how you felt AF was coming but then it didn't. People often report that feeling before they find out they're pregnant. Of course, our bodies have to play such cruel tricks on us! That's crazy that FF is warning you that you may have a triphasic chart! I do hope and pray this could be your miracle month and somehow one strong little spermie made its way through! But even if it didn't, at least you know your body is ovulating and clearly has good progesterone to sustain a pregnancy when the time comes.

Adoption really is a beautiful way to give a child a loving home, and your home certainly would be that! As I said, whatever route you take, you guys will make great parents. Is the next step up to you? Will your urologist help you if you decided to go to the AI route, or will you be referred to another specialist?

Yes, I suppose it is good I can now count down to ovulation again. There's really nothing else to do. We can't control these things - they just happen. We can't wish a pregnancy into existence. Hopefully our turn will be soon, and hopefully it won't end in tragedy once again.

Newlyweds - Really wondering how you're doing. I hope everything's okay!

 

[mangotango]

Good Sunday ladies!
Newlyweds, haven't heard much from you, hope all is well!!

THanks for the kind words Literati, I still have not even had time to talk to my mom about all this stuff. Nobody else knows besides DH, me and the doctor. Just haven't had time to visit with my mom and get into the details. I don't want it a 1 minute conversation "oh, btw.." So it is nice having SOMEONE to hear me. Thank you so much! It means a lot! And I apologize if I ramble sometimes but this little board we have going is sort of therapeutic I think. Like a journal to let our thoughts out.

DH is going to do his sperm sample again this week...I'm sure it's zero though. Even if there are a few, it's not good news since it's practically impossible to conceive naturally unless the level is high enough. And even then, we'd probably still end up with donor sperm that have healthy amounts of sperm levels for IUI. I don't think it's worth the cost and emotions to try multiple rounds of IUI without quality sperm and if there is nothing wrong with me and I am fully capable of conceiving without problems then donor sperm would be more effective than trying 3 rounds of IUI then going to donor sperm or IVF.
I don't know a ton about IUI but seems pretty easy to understand from the little research I have done and seems like it can be very effective for male infertility (well, especially if donor sperm is used). So I'm feeling hopeful.
We are definitely taking a vacation in January to somewhere warm so we can relax together. So I am excited to look forward to that! unless for some crazy miracle I get a BFP this week!

We definitely all have hardships. You may not have had a fertility problem but you suffered such a loss and you also are sooooooo strong in dealing with that! It has to be scary. At least you know it can happen and it will when it is the perfect time. And you'll get your perfect little bundle!
No sign of AF for me yet, and I feel nothing for cramps or anything. I am very itchy though...been so since last week. You are right, at least I can see I AM ovulating. I am so glad I learned about bbt charting and such. Plus, when couples have trouble, it's the first thing doctors tell patients so they can better plan BD time and make sure ovulation is occurring.

Besides estrogen surging during the luteal phase, I read that progesterone peaks in the middle too and I wonder if I didn't just get a peak? It seems like it is slowly dropping down for me. I was 98.3 x2 days and 98.2 x2 days and 98.1 this morning. Sometimes I get a sharp drop and sometimes it's a slow drop over a few days before AF comes. But with having longer cycles the past 2 months, I don't know what will happen. Today is 15dpo and for a bunch of months I was having 15 day LP, the past 2 cycles were 17 day LP...so who knows.

THe urologist told us the options he recommends depending on what happens with the sperm analysis, but he was 99% sure that there would be zero sperm again the way his testes felt. He basically said our only option to have both of us as biologic parents is to biopsy DH and whoever does that would HAVE to be a specialist in Reproductive Endocrinology and at a fertility clinic. He said do not let anyone do that unless they have the tools to pull enough sperm out that they can save them and use them for IVF. He does not do that though, but he is an infertility specialist (only one in our area) but doesn't have the tools and clinic to do it where we live. We wouldn't even be able to use his sperm (if he has any in there) for IUI because they'd not be mature enough. So basically he said our only options are IVF or donor sperm IUI. I don't know if he will refer us or not but my OBGYN said to call him either way to let him know DH's results. I know that my obgyn's clinic works with a specialist that travels to the area now and then and sends patients to the specialist's clinic, so I'm sure he'd refer us to wherever we want to go. I am thinking maybe to the medical college university infertility clinic that is about 1.5 hrs away since I know that they are always on the edge of the most current treatments and research and have great specialists. If I am going to do this, may as well go with someone that knows what they are doing and without traveling 3 hours one way.

Sorry, enough about me! I can't believe how much I write!
How are you?! What CD are you now? Have you thought of adjusting anything or trying anything different to make you and DH more fertile so the little November bean will stick? I read on some websites of the fertility clinics as they describe IUI, they have you lay on the table for 15 minutes or so to help the sperm get where they need to...so definitely don't jump out of bed after BDing!!
I'm thinking if we are going to spend $$$$ on IUI, I should probably start to eat better and exercise more again. I fell out of it the past few months with being busy with school and work. I NEED to make it a priority. THey say heart healthy is sperm and fertility healthy.

Take care and again, thanks for being here!

 

[Literati_Love]

Mango - That is understandable that you still haven't told anyone. It definitely isn't something that can be easily worked into a conversation, even with your mom! I am glad you have us here to ramble to. It really is so cathartic.

Has your husband done another sperm sample yet? I read a bit about IUI after I read this and it does sound like a great option for you guys. I agree that IUI using donor sperm sounds like a lot more feasible option than the huge ordeal of trying to extract sperm from your husband that might not even be there or would be too immature. I do hope your hubby comes around to the idea.

A January holiday sounds lovely. Do you have any ideas of where you might go? DH and I went to Florida last January and it was lovely. It was meant to be our last hurrah before we got pregnant. Now this January I might not even be pregnant yet...but we won't be able to go on a holiday as we want to save money in case a baby does come soon. I still secretly hope you will get your miracle BFP this week. Your temps don't show any signs of dropping...Have you tested?

That clinic only 1.5 hours away does sound a lot better than the one 3 hours away. I hope you can find a clinic that you're satisfied with. It would be a pain traveling all the time for appointments, but it will be worth it! My co-worker's sister is undergoing IVF right now and finds out later this week if she's pregnant! My co-worker has been telling me all about it so I'm fairly familiar with what they do for IVF.

I am CD 6 today (it's easy this month because AF started on the 1st). AF is over and we will start the BDing marathon tomorrow. Since we started trying, I've always been lying down with my hips propped on a pillow for 20 minutes after dtd, so I've got that covered already. The only thing I will be doing differently this month is taking Vitamin B supplements as they not only help lengthen the luteal phase, but they can supposedly help with fertility and reduce the chance of miscarriage:
https://sites.google.com/site/miscarriageresearch/vitamins-and-miscarriage/vitamin-b6

I should probably start exercising a bit too, but I am soo lazy and I'm always so tired after work. At least we're trying acupressure again this month so that should bring the blood flow to my reproductive organs even if my sedentary lifestyle isn't. We will be dtd every other day until I get a +OPK like we did last month. Gotta try it for a couple months before we scrap that plan and try a new one.

Hope you're doing well. Keep us updated!


Newlyweds - How are you? I hope everything's okay! I'm honestly worried about you since it's been so long since you updated. I do hope you're just out there treasuring every moment of your pregnancy.

 

[mangotango]

Hello Literati!
Thanks for hoping I get that BFP!
I'm on 19dpo (unless I O'd a totally different day!?!?!) and at the longest I've had for a cycle at CD 34 or 35..can't remember. Yeah, my temps are NOT dropping! how odd...it drives me nuts because I know deep down the chances are like 1% I'm BFP with DH sperm problem...but I don't get what is going on...unless I O'd later?!?! or I have been taking B complex and B12 every day for energy since I've been staying up so late at night doing school work that it may have lengthened my LP? I just wish wish wish for a miracle! I thought I saw a line on the IC this morning, and tonight, but I'm sure it was just the gray shadow some have. I have basically zero symptoms...for AF or BFP. I have noticed that I have had less left sided cramping this cycle compared to before.

OMG..so mad! DH decided to do the SA sample today. He came home early from work and even called the hospital to make sure the pahtaologist would be there to read it. He did it, brought it in and was rejected because the patho was NOT in! They gave him the completely wrong hours! wtf?! We were going to do it tomrorrow morning instead but he thought he'd do it himself today so I would not have to wake up early tomorrow since it is my day off. well, so much for that...gotta wait another 4 days or so to get another good sample...which also means we have to wait to BD, or whatever we'll just do it because we need our time together!
He did get his testosterone, LH, FSH labs back and testosterone was low, the other reversely high and the doctor said he expected that with what his "balls" looked like and does not recommend any attempt in increasing testosterone because he does not think there are any sperm anyway. Guess we'll have to wait another week to find that out! ugh!

You went on a trip last January? We are going for the same reason as you did, our last time alone without babies...hopefully. I hope you WILL be preggo for January! It always gets exciting when you get into the BD stage!! I wish you lots and lots and lots of
That's kind of nice you get to hear about the IVF process from your friend. I think that hearing about it and hearing true stories helps us to better understand it and make decisions if it ended up being us. I hope she gets the BFP!!! That'd be amazing!
How does the acupressure work, what are the pressure points? Can't hurt to try. I've head acupuncture works too.

Yes Newlyweds...where are you?! Hope all is well!!

 

[Literati_Love]

I see from your chart that your LP is EXTREMELY LONG! WOW! But I think you hit the nail on the head about the Vitamin B complex. B6 is known to lengthen LP. Yours was already quite sufficient, so you probably didn't need it to get any longer! How frustrating. Have you tested yet? I do still have hope for you.

That is annoying that the hospital gave all that wrong information so that your husband brought the sample for nothing. I agree - just BD now and wait for another 4 days to bring the sample because your relationship is more important!

Ooh...that makes sense that your hubby's testosterone was low. I have a question just for my own curiosity - but what is your husband's body type? Basically - does he lack the signs of testosterone such as hairy chest, broad shoulders/chest "burly" body type, aggression, etc? I'm just curious...because I have always assumed my husband has fairly high testosterone because he has a hairy chest, a mesomorphic body, is an adrenaline-junky and can be on the aggressive side (even though he also has a very soft, gentle side as well), and has a very high sex drive. But then he also has signs of low testosterone such as weight around the middle and a sleep disorder, etc. Anyway, sorry that was off topic. I am sorry that your doctor thinks it's not worth it to treat his testosterone levels because of the sperm problem .

Yep, we sure did go on a trip last January! It was so amazing. I hope you enjoy your last hurrah before babies as well!

Yes Newlyweds...where are you?! Hope all is well!![/QUOTE]
Sadly, my co-worker's sister's first try at IVF was not a success. She is not pregnant. She has 3 more eggs frozen that she can use, but after that she will not try again as it is $20K.

I honestly just googled it and printed off the points from this site to try:
https://natural-fertility-info.com/acupressure.html. I'm sure it's not the best resource in the world but it doesn't hurt to try. You're only supposed to do it up until you ovulate because it could be harmful if you're pregnant since it stimulates uterine contractions.

I have heard acupuncture works as well, but acupressure has the nice convenience of being FREE and your husband can do it on you. I also have an intense fear of blood-borne illnesses, and the fact that acupuncture uses needles would make me ridiculously paranoid even if they assured me they used new ones every time. But I have heard great things about it and wish I would be brave enough to try it!

AFM, I am CD 9, still waiting for fertile signs. I've had some weird crampiness (not just like ovulation cramps, but kind of mixed with menstrual cramps). It was actually bad enough that I had to take some ibuprofen to sleep yesterday. SO I think that is probably my body gearing up to ov, but I haven't had any fertile CM yet. I'll keep you posted.

Newlyweds - Please update soon!

 

[newlyweds2013]

HI LADIES !
So, I am soooo so so so soooo sorry that I haven't been on here in literally ages. Ever since I found out I have been so excited (of course) but I have been SOOO worried that something is going to happen that I have tried to avoid thinking about it and all pregnancy convos !!!!! I have been thinking of you ladies too but was unsure how to sign back on without reading through pages and pages of ttc/pregnancy stuff- then I just end up back in my whirl wind of worries ! BUT, everything has been good so far ! I am just a really anxious person in general, and had no idea I was going to be this bad lol. I am going for my first ultrasound this Friday- wow! My doctor hasn't given me an expected due date or guessed how far along I am, but I think I am 7 weeks now. My last period was Sept. 10, but I have a 5 week period instead of 4, so I just subtracted one week from the total time.. Which makes sense to me? Haha. But I will find out for sure on Friday perhaps. I'm not sure if they actually tell you anything there? And my appointment with my doctor is the following Thursday (I actually have to drive over an hour to the hospital that does ultrasounds, the one in my hometown just does basic things). Soo I am hoping they tell me everything is fine and then maybe when I'm out of the first trimester I can relax !!!
But the main question is - HOW ARE YOU LADIES DOING ??!?!?!!?!? I see no bfp's yet? BUT I AM SO HOPEFUL ! I read further into the convos then try to go back to my non worrying state of mind, lol.
Thinking of you both always and praying for your bfps !!!!
xoxox

 

[Literati_Love]

Newlyweds - So good to see you back on here! I am sorry that being in the first trimester has caused you such major anxiety! I am sure everything will be fine and I am glad that you get an ultrasound on Friday for reassurance. I am sure everything will be great! Do you have any symptoms? Try to just relax and pamper yourself as you wait these scary first trimester weeks out! 7 weeks is sooo far already! I am jealous.

And, yeah, no BFPs here.

 

[mangotango]

Hey Newlyweds! so glad to hear from you!!!! How exciting to have your first ultrasound! Wow, I can't believe the nearest ultrasound is an hour!
I can understand your worry, I bet it is normal for most women to worry. You never know what can happen...but just remember, God(if you believe in him, I am not a super religious person but believe) God has a plan for each of us! He will take care of you no matter what. I am still so excited for you!
Have you told many people? It would be so hard to keep it quiet because I would be so excited. Definitely keep us updated!

Literati,
Well, AF showed on Monday. holy man was my cycle long...longest it's ever been. I am thinking maybe I O'd late, plus my LP changed? I did not get a solid temp elevation until a week after I thought I O'd. that was right after I got the stretchiest slimiest longest EWCM ever...so I'm completely confused on my body...I have been taking my anti-inflammatory regularly before ovulation too, which actually has a warning that says it can delay ovulation, so that could be part of it??

About the testosterone...DH has hairy chest and is tall, although sort of skinny and not very much muscle in his arms/thighs...his legs are so thin! Otherwise just looking at him and his sex drive and all, you wouldn't think his testosterone was low. The doc doesn't feel the testosterone problem is the true problem though, the way DH testicles are...soft/mushy instead of more firm...he says they never matured enough since he was a child and that chances are that the sperm..if there are any inside...are not maturing. He can tell by the way the testes feel and look.
He did his sperm sample this morning, so I guess we wait and see but we are pretty sure it will be zero.

That is sad your coworker's sister's IVF didn't take...I just don't think I could go through it and be disappointed AND out $20k or more! THen if it continues to not take, that money could have been used towards adoption. I don't know, I guess I'll have to make that decision when we get there.

Pretty interesting acupuncture site! I totally believe in alternative therapies, and especially when it is FREE! It cannot hurt anything!

I hope you are BDing like mad!!!! I so have a good feeling for you this month!

 

[Literati_Love]

Mango - Wow! That was a long cycle for you! From your chart, I wonder if you didn't ovulate until CD20, which would make sense with your usual LP. It's harder to pinpoint when you don't use OPKs or check your CP. Sounds like a rather confusing cycle, though. That would make sense if your medication delayed ovulation.

Yeah, sounds like the testosterone isn't the main worry at all (thank you for sharing that info about his body type, though)! It is really too bad his testicles never developed properly. What a rough go. I'll be waiting to hear the results of his sperm sample and I do hope that it is not zero, but I understand that that is a likely scenario.

Yeah, IVF is sooo expensive and kind of a gamble! Something like IUI is definitely a lot more affordable. Adoption is very expensive, so as you pointed out that $20K could go towards adoption which is at least a sure thing even if it takes a while. I hope you two can reach a decision about which course of action you'll take when that time comes.

Yep, it certainly can't hurt to try something free like that. Although, sadly, we meant to do acupressure a lot more this cycle but we ended up just getting bus and forgetting. Oh well...I've been pregnant before without it.

We actually haven't gotten much BDing done and I am confused by my cycle this time because normally the latest I would ov is CD14, but it is CD13 already and I haven't had a +OPK. Wondering if I somehow missed it, or if I'm ovulating late this month. I have been sick with a cold, and also stressed, so it's possible that could have delayed ovulation.

I'm glad you have a good feeling for me this month because I don't. Hopefully we still have a shot yet.

Newlyweds - Hope to hear from you soon!

 

[mangotango]

Yeah, I gave up on OPKs with DH sperm and just figured if it happens then it does...but didn't expect to be so confused on O time!!
Got his 2nd result back and was the same as the first...zero
So I think he finally sees that our best option from here is donor sperm IUI because he doesn't want his testicles cut to grab sperm and what if there are none even in there? So not worth it...the costs can just add up over and over so we'll probably look at IUI. He has avoided looking at those options so now I need to find a good time to talk to him about it.

I'm sorry you didn't BD as much this cycle...sometimes it just is so hard! After a long work day or if other things are going on it is difficult to get in the mood sometimes and difficult to make it be strictly about producing a baby. That is odd you didn't get your OPK+ yet...I hope you didn't miss it! I think the fact you have been sick, could definitely change your O. It also doesn't make you feel like BDing I'm sure.

Good luck dear! I hope you O soon and hope you are feeling better!

 

[Literati_Love]

Mango - Yeah, I can see why you would stop with all the extra measures this month since you knew you didn't have a good chance anyway. Sorry to hear your husband's sperm count was still zero. I'm glad he seems to finally see that your best option is donor sperm IUI. I hope you get a chance to talk to him about that soon and that you can move forward with that fairly quickly once he feels good about it! This is going to be an exciting journey for you, even if it is an alternative one, and I just know you're going to get your BFP soon, even if it's not on the timeline you originally hoped for. Keep me updated! I can't wait to hear as you move forward on this!

Well, I got my +OPK finally yesterday morning, but I think I ended up ovulating that same evening, so sadly I didn't get much warning ahead of time. I thought I wouldn't ovulate until today, which would have given us a better chance with BDing. So we BDed yesterday at 5:30 pm and on Tuesday around noon and then I ovulated yesterday around 10 pm. Hopefully that's enough, but I'm really not feeling hopeful! I'm getting tired out and discouraged from this journey. Maybe it was a total fluke I got pregnant the first time, and I will never get pregnant again.

Thanks, my cold is on its way out so I am feeling a lot better. DH and I are going to go out for a nice dinner tonight. Do you have any weekend plans?

Newlyweds - I've been meaning to ask you a few questions:

- What was your BD timing in comparison to O?
- What were your symptoms in the TWW that you don't normally get?
- Did you do anything different the cycle you conceived (supplements, timing, hips propped on pillow, etc)?

Thanks!!

 

[mangotango]

Literati,
Maybe it's time to just "take a break" or not try as hard this next month? I know that is hard to do because who wants to put anything off for a month, but maybe it would put less pressure on you and DH? It sure is emotional and exhausting to try and try and still get BFN or to O late. I still think the 5:30pm will still be ok, considering when you O, it takes the egg around 12 hours or so to get through the tube. I'm hoping for you! Hang in there! Did you get your temp increase?

I am hoping that I will be successful for the IUI...now I'm driving myself crazy because I should drop a few pounds and become much healthier to get my body more ready. I don't want to try and be unsuccessful and it be because I'm overweight or something. (I'm a touch fluffy, lol, not a lot though). I am thinking of calling one of the fertility clinics this week to see what kind schedule they have and how far out they are booking. I assume we will have to make a weekend trip since it is hard for DH to get off of work and the clinic meets with patients on weekends too.

Newlyweds,
How are you doing lady?!

 

[Literati_Love]

Mango -

Yes, ovulation has been confirmed for cd14 by my temps. I am 4 DPO today and AF will be due nov 28, or possibly 29th. Honestly, this month sort of felt like a break since we didn't BD very often. The whole process is stressful, but I really didn't stress out too much about BDing this time. So next month if we're still trying I will probably kick it up a notch and BD more often to make sure we have the best chance. Then if still not preg in January, may try a more relaxed approach. Have to try all the different methods, right? Haha.

Good idea to call the fertility clinic right away at least to see what the wait is like. If it is quite long you'll certainly want to book very soon! I am sure if you're only slightly overweight it wouldn't affect your fertility much. I would just try to exercise a bit more and be healthier, but I wouldn't worry at all if you hadn't dropped any weight by the time of your IUI. The key is not stressing, I think!

Newlyweds- hope to hear from you soon.

 

[mangotango]

Literati, I think you have a good outlook on the BDing/stress/take a break from it all. It is crazy how I would get worried about not having BD'd on the right days! There are just soooo many aspects to getting the fertilization...the sperm can live for a few days, but who knows how many do/will, and if they are strong enough to break through that egg! Even when everything is perfect, they still say there's only a 20-25% chance of fertilization. This is definitely an emotional and stressing process. Glad you O'd! Who knows, maybe it will be the month for you!!

It is crazy because I find myself counting my cycle days but I know it is useless, except to know when my next AF is coming, which obviously is not even dependable. A co-worker announced she is pregnant and due in APril...I'm sooo excited for her but it reminds me I want a baby! I usually just shove the thought in the back of my mind just trying to finish up my last few weeks of classes and school work and looking forward to winter break and a nice vacation with DH so we can relax and enjoy each other. But I do need to call the clinic.

 

[newlyweds2013]

Hi ladies !!! So sorry to have been away but I have been trying to avoid the pregnancy chatter. But clearly that didn't help me, because now I have some bad news .. I have to go to the hospital tomorrow because they think I am having a miscarriage .... I am so devastated. On the ultrasound I had on friday there was no heart beat, but it only showed 6w2d so that is still borderline as to if there is one or not. I've had some bloodwork done since as well and my hcg numbers have dropped, so it is not looking good .... Tomorrow I have to go in for more blood work and another ultrasound just to be sure, but my doctor told me to prepare myself for the procedure.
I can't believe after all this time worrying about it that it really is happening
Literati, I hope I am as strong as you have proven to be I have had some mourning and know I will need more time, but I know God has a plan. When you had your miscarriage was it all natural or did you have to have medication or a procedure ? I have never had to have anything done at the hospital before so I am slightly nervous, but I just want this ordeal to be over with if they're sure it is not going to work out.
Thanks so much for listening, I wish I had some happier news to share !! But I am thankful for my family for being there for me right now. I am blessed and need to remember that through it all..
Much love to you ladies and special prayers for your bfp's
xoxo

 

[Literati_Love]

Oh, newlyweds, I am SOOOOO sorry this is happening to you! I feel sooo awful. And I feel terribly guilty for being a bit jealous of you when you first announced. I am fighting back tears for you right now and my heart is aching. I know exactly how you feel being in limbo and not quite knowing for sure yet, but having the fairly sure idea that it's probably over. what devastation! What a loss! Your baby was and is such a miracle and to have him/her torn away is inhumane and horrible. There is no way you ever deserved to have this happen to you and I really wish I had been the only one here. I want everyone else to have a happy ending!

Please know that if you EVER need to talk - whether it be now, in a few weeks, or in a few months - I'm always here and I can understand. Sadly, the road ahead isn't easy and I am still grieving and very sad, but it does get easier little by little.

You WILL get your healthy, happy baby! And I am hoping and praying that maybe by some miracle it will be this one! Because those things do happen! But if it is not, I am very sure you will get your rainbow baby soon, even though I know he/she will NEVER replace this one you lost. I hope in between all your worrying that you were able to cherish the small moments of your pregnancy. It is such a joyful time even with all the fear, and it will be nice to look back on some of the happier times in the months ahead.

I will be praying for you! And I know God has a plan for you even though this is such a heartbreaking thing and we can't even imagine why such tragedies have to happen. I hope I and others on here can help you get through this.

Are you getting a lot of support from your husband and mom?

My miscarriage was all natural so unfortunately I can't give you any of my experiences with a procedure but I do know most ladies say that all of them were "good." If you are indeed miscarrying (which I hope you are not) and you get to the point of wanting to talk about it or try again, I have a really supportive thread in TTCAL you may want to join when you're up to it. I hope I am being supportive enough . I am sorry if I said anything wrong... I hope to have only encouraged you. You are an amazing friend and you will get through this, whatever the outcome! Hang in there! You are so strong!

 

[Literati_Love]

And to mango -

Thanks. There really is such a small chance each month even with perfect timing so we shouldn't beat ourselves up for not gettin a BFP yet.
Sounds like you're doing the right thing in just trying to keep your mind off things and focusing on work, school and your upcoming vacation. Have you booked your flights yet?

I am 6 DPO... I won't get too crazy with symptom spotting for a couple days yet.