*~lucky 13's- for those ovulating around 7/13/13

[newlyweds2013]

Hi ladies,
So it has been confirmed today by more blood work and another ultrasound that this is definitely not a viable pregnancy I really thought this was going to be the outcome, and honestly I am just relieved to know and to try and being the healing process.
Literati - Thank you SOO much for your kind words, they were so very beautiful, you said everything perfectly. It means so much! Sorry to have almost made you cry again though- I seem to do that quite often! lol.
I would definitely like the link to your other thread, I think reading some other women's stories may help me deal with my own loss.
Right now my body has not shown any signs of trying to start the process on it's own, so they have given me medication. But even if it works over the weekend, I have to go back on Monday and may still have to do a d&c anyways. I took the first pill about 5 hours ago, which was hard to do (emotionally). I started having some cramping around an hour or two ago, but no bleeding yet.. I am not looking forward to the next stage of the journey but I do hope this works and I don`t have to go through the procedure on monday.
Literati - How long did you bleed for during your ordeal ? Did you experience much cramping ? I am sorry if I am being intrusive and zoning in on a difficult experience in your life, but I am just so confused and unsure of everything right now. The odd thing about mine was that I had no signs whatsoever and really thought everything was going fine! I guess even now my body is so desperate to hold on to what it had. But I am so truly blessed that I had my husband and parents with me the entire time. We are trying to make the best of an unfortunate situation. The only people that know are them and my husbands parents, since we didn't announce the pregnancy in fear that this may happen. I have been lying about why I have been to the hospital today because honestly it is just too sensitive of a topic to discuss with anyone else right now.. & noone even knows that we are trying, so if they find this out they will be asking me about it and then when I recover ask about us trying again and just too many questions I want to avoid. I feel bad for lying but I know they would understand if they knew how I felt.
Thanks so much for listening to my rant.. Sorry I disappeared for a while, I just couldn't handle the pregnancy talk with all of my fears, but the fear happened anyways!
But what are the chances of having 2 losses in a row - this must just mean we are getting closer to that special baby who is waiting for us.

Sending tons of love and prayers to you ladies, good luck in the upcoming weeks ! xxoxoxo Thanks again for listening, it means so much to me.

 

[Literati_Love]

Newlyweds - I am so sorry that everything is confirmed to be a miscarriage, but I do know from experience that is can be a 'relief' to just find out for sure and not be in limbo anymore. I feel like our situations (at least the not knowing for sure right away) were kind of similar so I totally get that. You definitely do make me teary a lot, but this time I was crying -with- you because you are my friend and are in pain.

Here is the link to the thread I joined right after my m/c. It's a group of very supportive girls and we're helping each other through the whole process of getting our rainbow babies - so some people are already pregnant again (hopefully that doesn't bother you) and some people are still trying or waiting to try. I hope I see you there and that it can offer you the same comfort it has afforded me in the past few months:
https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/t...aiting-af-after-m-c-anyone-else-ocbm-242.html

Sorry that you have to spend the weekend waiting for your medication to work. If you are having cramping, then perhaps the bleeding is still to come soon. This definitely won't be a pleasant part of the journey but it is relieving to get it over with. I am sure if you need the d&c that it will go smoothly and your body will be back to healing in no time. So sorry that you have to go through this whole process. Going back to the dr/hospital because of a miscarriage is really, really not fun.

If you include a couple days of spotting at the end, I bled for a total of 10 days from when I found out I was miscarrying (I had some light bleeding and spotting for a few days before that as well). Some people bleed for longer but I was fairly early on. Although I was about 6 1/2 weeks when I found out I'd lost the baby, the baby had stopped developing at 4 weeks 6 days, so I had a relatively 'easy' experience physically. I definitely had a lot of cramping and this strange sensation like my reproductive organs were falling out of my body, especially when i was peeing (it was a weird feeling). To be honest, throughout most of my life I've suffered through excruciating menstrual cramps to the point of being doubled over and having 600 mg ibuprofen + 1000 mg tylenol do absolutely nothing. My cramping during the miscarriage was not as bad in comparison (which I was surprised about). What made it less bearable, though, was that I was experiencing the cramping before it'd been officially confirmed I was miscarrying...so I was afraid to take ibuprofen just in case. That made the pain quite uncomfortable, but I think it would have been fine if I could have taken painkillers. Everyone's experience is different, and I've heard of people who had a lot of pain in their miscarriage, but my own experience was just like a bad period with more clotting than usual and bleeding for longer. I don't mind sharing anything about my experience that you feel might help.

It is so sad that you had no signs of miscarrying and still this awful thing happened. It is true that you body probably felt very desperate to hold onto the baby. I know some people who have had MMCs that have found it comforting that their bodies just continued doing what they were supposed to even after the baby had passed.

I am so glad to hear your husband and parents have been very supportive through all of this. Don't be afraid to talk to them about how you're feeling. It's good to let it out and have people realize what you're going through. It's totally understandable that you would lie at work to explain why you were going to the hospital. That is a very sensitive topic and no one needs to know unless you want them too. I had unfortunately told 2 people at work I was pregnant so I had to tell them about the m/c and I sort of wish I hadn't had to tell them since they weren't very supportive. Are you going to take some time off work to recover? I personally was on holidays when I miscarried, but even once my holidays ended I wasn't ready to go back to work so I took a few extra sick days. In total, I took nearly 2 weeks off and I'm glad I did. My doctor has had a miscarriage and she said she took a full 3 weeks off when she had hers. Do whatever you feel you need - and don't force yourself to go back before you're ready.

I believe only about 5% have 2 losses in a row (and it might even be lower - I only looked at one site). That is much lower than the approximately 20-25% of pregnancies that result in a miscarriage. So your chances of a healthy baby and pregnancy next time is much greater. I am so glad you are still talking optimistically about that special baby that you will have someday soon! It is so hard to be optimistic through this, but I think it really helps a LOT so I hope you are able to maintain that optimism!

Anyway, once again, I am soooo sorry for your loss. I hope that your husband is a great comfort to you as you brave this long and sad few days ahead. Personally, as I waited out my miscarriage, I found myself void of any energy to do anything and all I wanted was distraction, so I found a SUPER fluffy soap-operaish show on Netflix to watch, and I watched the whole season while I was recovering. It helped so much to get lost in the characters' silly drama instead of my own sadness. So, if you feel up to it, definitely enjoy some chocolate and mindless television! You are going to get through this and I hope I can be there for you as you were for me!


Mango - Hope you're doing well.

 

[newlyweds2013]

Literati - Thank you soooo very much for this message. Wow. You are better than a therapist !!!!
I feel like I can relate to you so much through this whole process- I actually have already been drowning myself in a tv series and for a while it makes me forget about the real world. Right now I am around 36 hours into this process and STILL no bleeding. I wish it would just be over with, but at the same time I am kind of scared for it to happen. I agree that it seems like every woman has a different experience with miscarriage, so it is a bit hard to compare the physical symptoms.
& Thanks for the group, I will definitely be joining once I feel more ready to talk.
With regards to work, I work with my family in our family business so it has been easier for me to have time off (thankfully). I have just been not telling the whole truth with the rest of my family as to why I am off. While in limbo/going through this, my brain has just been completely unfocused. I can't think about work or house work, I've just kind of felt like a blob, so it's nice to know you were the same. Our bodies are going through so many changes right now, emotionally and physically, that it only makes sense.
So thanks so much again
& How is your ttc process going !?! I hope you are getting close to some good news

Mango - How have things been with you ?? Any other appointments that I've missed ? Hope all is well.

xoxoxo ladies

 

[Literati_Love]

Newlyweds - I am SOOOOO glad I could be of some help to you. Since this whole thing happened, I've just thought I would feel like at least some good had come of it if I could make just one person feel more supported when she went through the same thing. So I do truly hope that is the case. I know there aren't really words that make anything better, but I do also know it helps a lot to find someone who relates.

I am so glad to hear you have immersed yourself into a tv series to distract yourself. It can be such a help, can't it? I'm just curious - but what show are you watching? That is too bad you are still waiting on the bleeding. Your body really is determined to keep that baby, isn't it? Maybe this is a sign when you get your rainbow baby that you won't be of any risk of pre-term labour. It's definitely understandable that you would have mixed feelings about the bleeding - wanting it to happen, but being scared for it. Don't fret if the bleeding doesn't start on its own. I think the d&c is a fairly simple procedure and a lot of women don't even bleed very long afterwards, so maybe that would be an ok route to take. I told the girls on the thread that I had referred you to it and so far one girl has replied to say that she hopes you're okay. I know they'll all be ready and waiting to chat as soon as you feel up to it.

That is a relief that it is easier to get time off with our work being a family business...although I'd also imagine it might be a little harder to ward off snoopy questions about your whereabouts or your health (or at least if it were my family it would be)! I'm glad you're just telling them what you need to and nothing more. There might come a point in time when you might want to entrust someone with the whole truth (or maybe not), but for now it's all your own business and no one needs to know!

I definitely understand the blobby feeling. Perhaps this is a bad time to tell you, but actually ever since I've been more apathetic about work and housework. My mind is more distracted and I just can't seem to focus or care as much. But it definitely did get a lot better after a couple weeks. I think my mind is now just so all-consumed with wanting a baby that I don't much want to think about anything else. Anyway, definitely give yourself a break from that housework. Is your hubby the helpful type? Maybe he could help clean up a few things around the house. I know my husband feels good and "useful" if he can do something 'active' to help me (I think a lot of men are like that in a way), so for a couple days following my m/c (it didn't last long), he would wait on me hand and foot and wouldn't let me get up for anything. It was quite nice and made me feel really loved. Maybe your hubby would be willing to clean a bathroom or something to help you out. How is he taking this, by the way? Is he quite sad as well, or not showing his emotions much?

Thanks for checking up on my TTC journey. I definitely don't want to be insensitive and talk about it too much...but there's not much to report anyway. I'm on my 4th cycle of TTC since the m/c...I am 9 DPO and today I tested (too early, I know), and got a BFN. I don't have a lot of symptoms this month, but I think I feel so desperate for a BFP that I have myself fairly hopeful anyway.

Lots of for you. Try to "enjoy" your weekend of watching mindless television. I don't know if you are a religious person, but I am a Christian and have been praying for you lots!

Mango - Hope you're not too busy with work and school!

 

[mangotango]

Oh my Newlyweds!!! I just checked in to read up on here and see your posts. I am sooooooo sorry! How awful! Hang in there, I am sure it is incredibly difficult to go through this. I'm glad that Literati can maybe make you feel better and help you through this and that you are believing in God to guide you through it. He does have a plan for you and your some-day little one! It sucks that things happen and is awful to go through it, but it is all for a reason. Someday you'll have an amazing baby or be walking with your son or daughter and think how you couldn't see it any other way- but that it would not be that way if this did not happen now. I think it would grow my love for my children even more.
I am so glad you have a supportive husband and family! Hang in there!

As for me, I feel different today...I just feel like I want a baby so bad today that it actually brings tears to my eyes. I don't know why today makes me feel like that so much. Maybe the little girl that was brought into my work by her daddy to be seen by one of our doctors and how gentle he was with her? She was less than a year. But I felt like that before work too. It is deflating right now because I know there is zero chance for us on our own. I have not had time to call the fertility clinic yet...maybe Tuesday on my day off?

Ladies, I wish it was easier than this! For all of us! Take care of yourself Newlyweds! You are loved!

 

[Literati_Love]

Mango - so sorry you are feeling down. That totally makes sense and I definitely have down days like those too. It really is tough what you're going through. I do hope you're able to call the fertility clinic on Tuesday. I hope this process isn't too long for you because I know how much you want your baby !!!

 

[mangotango]

Made the first step, sent an online request to the fertility clinic and called my obgyn's nurse to see if I need to see him or if they happen to do IUI there.....

Newlyweds, I know I cannot say much to truly make you feel better, but I'm thinking about you!

 

[Literati_Love]

Mango - great job on making the first step! I so hope this goes well for you and you get pregnant on the first try!!! Let us know any tid bits once you know.

Newly - still thinking of you. I hope you are taking some time to rest and heal.

 

[Literati_Love]

This feels like a really inappropriate time to be making this announcement, but I definitely wanted you girls to know. I'm very sorry if this is hurtful to anyone, but I got my BFP today! I'm very excited although of course cautious. Thank you both for cheering me on through this process.

Mango - How are you?

Newlyweds - I hope you're hanging in there okay and that your dh and parents are giving you tons of support. I'm here if you need to talk.

 

[mangotango]

This feels like a really inappropriate time to be making this announcement, but I definitely wanted you girls to know. I'm very sorry if this is hurtful to anyone, but I got my BFP today! I'm very excited although of course cautious. Thank you both for cheering me on through this process.

Mango - How are you?

Newlyweds - I hope you're hanging in there okay and that your dh and parents are giving you tons of support. I'm here if you need to talk.

NOT NOT NOT inappropriate!! Amazing! Congratulations!!!!!!!!!
I hope that all goes well this time around! I can see how it can feel inappropriate but you deserve the happiness and to share this! Just like we will also have our times to shine...you deserve yours! More so I'm jealous (not in a bad way or mean or anything) that I have zero chance right now until we try IUI...whenever that happens. I sort of miss that excitement of "maybe this month" even if it didn't happen, at least having the chance would be amazing and to keep trying would be amazing.
I am so excited for you and will say a little prayer for you!

I'm doing ok...found out that our clinic nearby us does do AI/IUI so I'm waiting for a call back so they can schedule me with one of the 2 doctors that does it. This way we don't have to drive 2 hours. So a little excitement to get all the info and get started on the journey. DH doesn't understand how hard it is to wait to make an appointment! our cycles take a month (or longer) to cycle through for the next "attempt" so he doesn't understand how hard it is to wait. I don't want to wait until February to see a specialist for a consult! I want to get in now! lol Because I know that it's a consultation first, then I don't know everything they'll want to do before we even get the green light to go ahead and start a cycle& attempt AI. I know it will be at least a few months.

Newlyweds, I hope you are doing well. God bless you dear!

 

[Literati_Love]

Mango - Thank you very much for being happy for me! It is totally understandable you are feeling a little jealous that you don't have a chance until you start AI/ IUI. That is really such a bummer and I am sad you have had that fun anticipation taken away from you. But at least you know you will get very good care now and there will be a doctor making sure you get your BFP very soon! It is understandable you wouldn't want to wait for the consult as you never know how Long the wait will be after that! But that is excellent you found a clinic nearby to do it so you don't have to waste all that time and money traveling. I am looking forward to being apart of this journey with you!!!

Newlyweds - I hope you are getting lots of support over there and aren't in too much despair. This is such a tough time and I am thinking of and praying for you.

 

[newlyweds2013]

Hey ladies, I just jumped on quick to see if there is any bfp news and Literati - I am SOOOOO happy for you !!!!!! I need a sign that there is still hope and a light at the end of the tunnel, and this was it. You have been an inspiration through this entire process, and now you are finally getting the bfp you deserve !!! It has been a challenging road for all of us, and I believe that you are on your way to a brighter future !!!!! I will pray and pray for you for a healthy 9 months !!!!!

Mango - Thank you for your kind words as well, they truly mean so much ! My thoughts are always with you So happy you are going to some more appointments (you remind me of myself, I am so impatient! When I want an appointment I just want it now!! lol).

& Yes, I do believe in God and I do trust that he has a plan for all of us, much greater than my comprehension. The medication they gave me actually did not work at all and I have to have a d&c preformed on Monday (Nov 25). That night when I lid in bed and realized I should say a prayer to God, I had this image of a figure holding a baby. I honestly don't know how to explain it, and it truly brings tears to my eyes when I talk about it, but I think that was his way of letting me know that he/she was with him now... So I do take some comfort in that.

Lots of xo's to you both !

 

[Literati_Love]

Thank you soo much! I need lots of prayer as I already feel paranoid because I have no major symptoms. It sounds weird, but I can't WAIT for my boobs to get sore. I've had a few nausea/gagging moments so I do hope that gets worse. I just want to know that every part of my body is throwing itself into keeping this baby alive. I am glad that this gives you hope and a light at the end of the tunnel. I really am so pleased and feel so blessed to be pregnant again. Sometimes it felt like it was never going to happen.

Since I missed out on so much of the fun stuff last time, I am determined to make every second of this pregnancy last even if it is short. So I have already bought 5 maternity shirts on an online Black Friday sale haha, bought a pregnancy journal and a pregnancy book, and have taken my 4 week photo next to my chalkboard in the baby room! I am not missing out on a thing this time!

Oh dear, I am sorry to hear that the medication they gave you didn't work at all. It must be frustrating to you to keep having to wait. I know once I found out it was for sure over, I just wanted to have it all over with so I could begin the healing process. I remember finding it so weird that I still had pregnancy symptoms when my baby was already pronounced dead. It didn't seem fair that my body would still keep behaving as though I were still pregnant. Anyway, as scared or apprehensive as you may feel, I hope your d&c goes smoothly and that there are no retained tissues or anything. I do hope you can get all the unpleasant physical parts over and done with so that you, too, can start the healing process. Hang in there. You are amazing and strong and you can get through this!

You're going to laugh at how predictable I am, but I got a bit teary eyed at that last part about the image you saw of a figure holding a baby. How sweet and touching that He gave you such a nice picture to let you know that your baby is in a better place and well taken care of. You will see your baby again someday.

xoxoxo to you too! I hope you're staying distracted with lots of tv and chocolate. I wish I could be there with you to marathon tv shows and make you feel better.

 

[newlyweds2013]

Hi ladies !!!
Just checking in on everyone

Literati - Any sore boobs yet ?!?! Hahah. It is normal to not have a whole lot of symptoms (even though it causes us to be paranoid, lol) but you just have to remember that you are so lucky to not be sick !!! Have you went to the doctor yet ? Have you told anyone else yet ?! Eeek, so many questions

& For me, I did have the D&C on Nov. 25, and am over my recovery period (physically anyways), and honestly I am doing fairly well mentally.. I have my moments. But you really did give me hope this whole time, and now with your exciting news there is even more hope. Your horrible experience really did help me during mine, and if we can help others then maybe that was what God wanted us to be able to do.

Mango - How are you doing ?! I find Christmas time has been taking my mind off of the whole ttc issue with the business and festivities. (Plus, who can't resist a little bit of retail therapy? haha). Do you have any news to report ? Hope all is well !!!

 

[Literati_Love]

Newlyweds - My boobs are slightly sore now, yes. I barely notice them in the morning but usually by the evening they are a bit sore. Not nearly as sore as I'd like, but I feel reassured that the soreness hasn't disappeared. I don't have any nausea at all. I've gagged a few times but that's it. I don't really have any noticeable symptoms besides being extremely irritable all the time, craving junk food and being tired.

I have not gone to the dr yet. I couldn't get in for a pre-natal appointment until December 30th. I haven't even heard back about my blood test to confirm the pregnancy because I missed my doctor's call (twice) on Monday because she called my home phone while I was at work. I called back every day for the rest of the week and left a message for her to call me back on my cell, but she never did. I know I'm pregnant so it's not like I need her to say it for me to believe it, but I'm really upset because I wanted to ask for an early ultrasound before Christmas, and now I have no chance.

I have told my best friend, but that is all so far (besides dh of course). I feel like I should tell my mom soon just so she knows before Christmas and doesn't try to serve me wine, etc...but I just feel really down about it all. I don't feel like there's much to celebrate so why bother telling her and add to her stress.

Sorry if I sound all doom and gloom. I can't really sugar-coat it anymore. Having a miscarriage has ruined my life. I don't have any happiness anymore. I know you found me inspiring, but I'm really not inspiring at all. I have been severely depressed since the miscarriage and now that I am pregnant I am unable to enjoy it at all because I'm just waiting for the inevitable to happen. Blah...sorry...I'm having a particularly down day today.

I am glad that you have recovered physically from your D&C. I can't believe it's been almost 2 weeks already. I am glad to hear you are doing fairly well mentally. "Having your moments" is only normal. There are a lot of different emotions you'll experience. I actually was in a better place 3 weeks after my miscarriage than I was 3 months later. I was actually really surprised, but my grief got a lot worse afterwards. That is not to say that yours will, but don't be surprised if you feel pretty "okay" for a while and then go through a period of grief again. Grief is very complicated and it happens in stages. Having said that, don't feel bad at all if your emotional recovery is very quick. Everyone is different. Have your parents and dh been giving you lots of love and support?

I am glad my experience could help you through yours, and I agree that maybe the purpose of what we went through was so that we could help others through the same thing. It is fairly common, yet so few people know that anyone has had one. I hope that in the future I am able to help more people through their losses and allow them to feel not so alone.

I am just curious - and you don't have to answer if you're not ready - but have you given any thought into when you might start TTC again, or if you even want to?

What are your Christmas plans? Do you visit lots of family during the holidays? Do you have any time off work?

Mango - Did you ever get a consultation with the fertility clinic? How are you doing? What are your Christmas plans?

 

[mangotango]

Hello ladies!
Newlyweds, your story about when you were praying is amazing! God is with you and is watching over you and any little one that may come! I am glad you are doing ok and recovering from the D&C. I'm sure you have the good and not-so-good moments. I think the holidays (and the shopping!) keeps our minds away from it all! I cannot imagine what you and Literati went through! You both are so strong!! I am here if you need anything (even though I don't always check in daily).

Litearti, it is heartbreaking to hear you talk about the grief you feel still. what a difficult event to deal with and to try to overcome. I think by talking about it that maybe it is more helpful? Do not hesitate to share your feelings!! It is harder to hold them in and more difficult to heal from it if you hold them in and cannot get them out of your mind. There are some days I get very overwhelmed by us not being able to ttc. Like right now I would be counting the days until AF and obsessively peeing on sticks! and now I am just counting down days to see the specialists and then it will be counting days until we can get going on the process. We can't even try. We can't even try to try. It is impossible. Then I see a newborn baby and feel so many emotions. And THEN I see an individual that should not be having ANOTHER child and am saddened and angry. I guess the positive side, I will never have to fill my body with the horrible hormones in birth control!

We have an appointment Dec. 20th with one of the providers that does artificial/intrauterine insemination in our area. Very much looking forward to what she has to share with us. Although now my husband is all worried because the news has been covering the chances of multiples with fertility treatments and so he is all freaked out. We have sooooo many sets of twins in my family that it could happen even if we did it naturally....so if it happened this way, so be it. Now triplets- yikes!

I'm nervous about being able to do what is needed with my work schedule, like if they need ultrasounds or whatever or say "ok, tomorrow we are doing it" and I need to get off work. At least I work in a clinic (not my obgyn's) so I could get labs done if needed or even an ultrasound if absolutely needed since we have that department too. Guess we'll find out more soon, and yes, the appointment cannot come quick enough!

Literati! I am glad your boobs are sore!
Literati, take one day at a time, one breath at a time and remember all the amazing things around you! You have so much to be thankful for and when you have this baby you will see all of this was a blessing! You will then understand why it had to happen because you are supposed to have THIS baby. Try to hang in there!! I know it is hard right now.

I understand wanting to tell your mom to avoid the alcohol servings at Christmas, and I think you have a lot to celebrate, but I also understand you are nervous and do not want to tell people and that the miscarriage has hurt you so much.

What are your Christmas plans Literati? I think we will have my family get together on Christmas Eve. I look forward to it. And then we are taking that vacation in January...a well well well needed getaway!

 

[Literati_Love]

Mango - Thanks for your understanding and encouragement. It's been a rough couple weeks but hopefully things will start looking better soon. I got my hCG checked this week so I guess I will find out if it's looking like it's over already, or if things are okay. I'll keep you posted.

I can imagine that sometimes you would get VERY down about not being able to TTC. I think you are handling this all exceptionally well because I know I would be devastated in your circumstances. It really must be so frustrating to you that you can't even try to try for a baby even though you so desperately want one. I am really sorry that this happened to you, but know that there is still so much hope for you and you guys will still get your healthy baby - and hopefully very soon.

Your appointment on the 20th is coming up quick! Hopefully that goes very well and you can go ahead and move forward with her. You mentioned your husband's fear of multiples with fertility treatments. Will you be taking any fertility treatments with the IUI? I assumed since you were ovulating every month that wouldn't be necessary. If you don't have to take anything, then I am sure the risk for multiples would be no higher than any other pregnancy. And hopefully if you do have to your chances would still not be too ridiculous. I could imagine triplets would be CRAZY but twins could be okay if that's what's meant to be! I certainly would prefer not to have twins because it would be so difficult, but I know it would still be amazing if I did. So I hope whatever happens you can be really happy about it. Let me know how your appointment goes!

That is difficult about needing time off work for appointments at a moment's notice. Have you considered giving a manager just some warning that you are going through some personal medical treatments right now and you may need to be scheduling appointments with very little notice for the next little while? At least if someone had some warning, your work might be more understanding. And if you work at a clinic, surely they understand the importance of medical appointments!

We have a family gathering on dh's side on Sunday the 22nd out at his parents' farm. Then on the evening of the 24th and all of the 25th we will be spending Christmas with my family! We always play games and eat treats on Christmas Eve, sleep over at my parents' house (even though they live in the same city), get up for a big breakfast and then open presents Christmas morning. Our big Christmas meal will be that evening. After that all our celebrations are over, as our extended families aren't having any gatherings this time. We will probably fit in our own person Christmas celebration the morning of the 24th.

Also - please know that I appreciated everything you said and am so glad that you care.

Newlyweds - How are you doing?

Your vacation in January will be SOO nice. You are definitely in need of it! I hope the promise of that is keeping you going!

 

[mangotango]

Hey Literati!! How are you doing! I have been so busy with working so much and finally finding time to spend with DH without school homework. I hope you are doing well!!

Newlyweds, how are you? I hope you are healing and feeling better too.

Literati, how were your hcg levels? I understand your fears, but I think you have to try try try to think positively and not worry yourself. Enjoy the pregnancy and life! I know you have fears but remember that we are here on earth for more than this. You have DH and friends and family and enjoy each moment!

We see the Dr. today. I am not sure about taking fertility meds. From what I have read, to get the best chances of IUI taking, clomid is best to be sure ovulation does occur since like we all know, even when everything is perfect and timed out, it still might not happen. I'll find out more today.

As for work and taking days off...I plan to tell my coworkers and immediate team leader (sort of a supervisor but not a manager, she works same shifts/hours/rotation as me and my coworkers.) but the problem with my job is that I am a nurse. We staff with 3 nurses daily and luckily none of us get sick often because we do not have anyone to cover if someone calls in sick...as out of the 5 of us we already each work 40hr/week including weekends, so it is hard to call in or just take off when it means my coworkers work short for 11 hours. Also luckily, all of us are pretty flexible in trading shifts when people need/want off so I assume I would be counting on coworkers to trade last minute with me, but that is not always fun either when you have to trade a day off in the middle of a 4 day off stretch when you just worked 6 days in a row.

Your family Christmas sounds great!!! You stay over by your parents? sweet! Just like when we were children! I love it! I sort of can't wait to have a child so I can say "no, we are not going 10 different places for Christmas, we are starting our own tradition."

Merry Christmas ladies! And enjoy every second of it with your families!

 

[Literati_Love]

Mango - Hey there. Nice to hear from you again. Sounds like you have indeed been very busy. I have been fairly busy too - but mostly with sleeping. There are a couple nights when I have gone to bed at 7:30 or 8 pm and slept a solid 11 hours before work the next day. I just don't have the energy to do anything anymore (which is why my house is a mess and none of the presents are wrapped ).

My hCG levels are looking good. On Dec. 9th they were over 8,000 which is right on target, and then on Dec. 16th they were 38,762 which is also very good. Getting those tests done was very reassuring and made me pretty optimistic for the last week or so. I also have had some reassuring nausea and vomiting, but the last couple days it has lightened up a bit which has caused the anxiety to swing out of control again. I did, however, just throw up, so maybe that will make me feel less worried for a few hours. I am now officially 7 weeks, which is further than I ever got last time. It does feel good to be starting a new week with no bleeding still, but I know it means nothing and there is so much that could go wrong or already be going wrong.

I was already thinking of you today and wondering how your doctor appointment would go. I hope you will update when you get back from it! I'm sure you'll know a lot more then.

That does sound like it will be difficult to take time off work at a moment's notice with being a nurse and also being sort of short-staffed. But I am sure your co-workers will be understanding and will be more than willing to help you out.

Yep, we stay over at my parents so it's always like when we were kids. I have never *not* done a celebration with my parents where we didn't sleep over before opening presents (even if we celebrated on a different day other than Christmas). I plan on keeping that up until my kids are a bit older and then we can start our own traditions. But to me my family tradition is all I would ever want for my kids. I have the most amazing family and we have such wonderful Christmases together. I know a lot of people are like you, though, and can't wait to start their own Christmas and not attend so many gatherings anymore. I hope you enjoy your gatherings, as busy as they may be. Are you finished wrapping presents and everything?

Merry Christmas to you too! Although hopefully I will talk to you before then. After I finish work today, I'm on holidays, so that will be lovely.

Newlyweds - How are you doing? I hope you are taking some time to heal emotionally and that you're not in too bad of spirits. I think of and pray for you lots!

 

[mangotango]

Hello ladies! I feel bad but I have just not had time to get on here since before Christmas. The holidays were so busy and of course in the evening I want to spend time with DH! Then we went on vacation to mexico and it was fabulous...soooo needed it! Got back last weekend and worked all week and today is my first day off. I'm exhausted still! time to catch up on cleaning and unpacking. Pretty busy this week also because we are starting IUI next week. So we had to find our donor sperm and make phone calls and register with sperm banks and be sure my doctor was ready for me and signed the paper work. It is hard to do all this when working 7am-6pm. AF came 2 days early while on vacation...the cycle ended up being 32 days instead of the 33-35ish I was expecting. I was supposed to get my CD 3 labs sunday but we got delayed on our return flights and by Sunday it was already CD4. So doc said we can still go through with the IUI but obviously it is on me if it doesn't take and we do labs and find my hormones are off and treatment for those may have assisted in pregnancy. FSH, TSH, LH, estradiol are being drawn. But I think I'm probably ok since I can see I AM ovulating, even feeling O pains at times, wish I'd had been doing OPKs the past few months so I know better what day those come prior to ovulating but last month it was CD15 and I O'd CD17, so I'm expecting sometime end of next week.

It is exciting to try again, but still scary because my doc will only go 6 rounds with me before I need to do something more and see a different specialist. I hope it takes but I'm so nervous it won't. I also wanted to push ahead and do it next week because classes start Feb. 3rd and I have no idea how busy I'll be with school or if it will stress me and change O day.

Newlyweds, how are you doing????
Literati, how is the pregnancy going?
Take care ladies!!