Pregnant again and very scared

[Dana_Scully]

I haven't bought anything yet or told my family because I figure that will end my pregnancy for sure. No bleeding this morning. My plan is to sit down all day. My guesses: the u/s technician pressed too hard and made me bleed or I overworked in the past two days and made my placenta detach. Tomorrow is so far away!

 

[Velathria]

Well i have told my family but only because my sister came to visit and well it's kinda hard to keep a secret especially with my son blabbing it out XD

but buying anything, no definitely not. I did that with my last Miscarriage and then it happened shortly after.. But my MIL is already buying like crazy and it's hard. She is expecting me to be super excited and I just can't get that excited about it yet...

And i feel so horrible acting like this isn't something i've been waiting for.... I hate not being able to be excited... I didn't have this with my Son... I never even thought that something like that could happen to me...

I think i'll wait until we are way into the second trimester until I tell other people. Or until i can't hide it anymore.

I'm so happy that bleeding stopped for you you know that could've been it. I always worry how much they push around on it. Let's hope nothing horrifying happens for us anymore and that it stays uneventful the rest of the pregnancy

Do you have a fetal doppler? And have you thought of trying it yet? I read that sometimes you can hear it already at 8 or 9 weeks.

 

[Dana_Scully]

Seriously we haven't been lucky with the bleeding! I do have a Doppler but I have to remember where I stored it lol Mine said it works as of 12+ weeks. I wish I could be happy with this pregnancy but I just can't. On monday, when they told me everything was fine, all I could think about was how many girls on this forum still mced after seeing the heartbeat. When I bled I wasn't even surprised and I remained calm through it all. It's like I'm just waiting for it to end, and that no happy outcome is possible. I guess having 3 mcs screws with your mind lol.

 

[LuBru]

Dana I am so sorry to hear about the bleeding! Geeze...we are really being tested, you two especially. I really hope the ultrasound goes okay tomorrow for you. I definitely hear lots of people say that some spotting/bleeding is normal although of course it always is scary. There are just so many things which could cause it. I am thinking of you guys as always!

I'm glad to read all your fears on getting excited/buying stuff/etc. I feel the same way and it's good to know others have the same feeling (although I wish no one had to feel that way!) The first time I got pregnant I was so excited - I thought everything was going to be perfect! We were really scared we would have serious trouble conceiving due to my endometriosis. Sadly I didn't know how common miscarriages are. Since then I have definitely lost some "innocence" and happiness around pregnancy.

I told my parents because the other times I didn't tell them and they didn't really seem to get why I was so sad. Our midwife advised us to go ahead and share when we are comfortable so people can support us along the journey. That being said...I'm kind of regretting telling them because every time my mom gets all excited and talks about it I want her to stop. I get annoyed. I'm trying not to connect with this baby and get too hopeful until I see the heartbeat...and even then of course there is no guarantee!!

Today at my university there was a clothing swap and I did buy two used dressed which would hide a bump for a while/could be comfortable while pregnant. (I've never been past the first trimester so I'm not really sure haha...but I guess I was excited). But yeah, last time I bought 2 pairs of maternity pants and then the first miscarriage happened so that felt really sad. Reminds me of this 6 word short story: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/For_sale:_baby_shoes,_never_worn.

Love to you guys nothing new to report here, just hoping I make it to the 8 week scan on April 6 (2 weeks away!)

 

[Dana_Scully]

I get irritated too when my parents get all happy about my pregnancy. Like stop being so happy, don't you know it's not gonna end well? I hate myself for it. It's just so hard to be positive. I wish the story has more than 6 words lol it kinda helps reading about others going through the same things we are.

 

[Dana_Scully]

Had another blood test done. Baby still has a heartbeat and they can't tell why I bled. When I wipe my cm is still a bit pinkish sometimes. The stupid doctor told me that the good news is that the baby is doing well. Bad news my hcg didn't rise much since Wednesday night. It hasn't even been 48 hours... I asked him if my levels were good for 9 weeks pregnant he said he didn't know because he didn't have the chart. He said to come back in Tuesday for another blood test. 😓 I googled it and found this:

Typically, the hCG levels will double every 72 hours. The level will reach its peak in the first 8-11 weeks of pregnancy and then will decline and level off for the remainder of the pregnancy.

https://americanpregnancy.org/while-pregnant/hcg-levels/

I called my obgyn's office and someone will see me tonight to answer my questions. I don't know whether to hope it call it quits. My belly is a little bit sore. 😯

 

[LuBru]

I thought hCG is not a reliable marker around your time (9 weeks) because it does plateau??? I freaked out over my hCG doubling times around 20,000 because it was taking ~78 hours so I did a lot of research and basically hCG at higher levels is really inconsistent and not a reliable way to check on the pregnancy's viability. Personally I wouldn't worry too much about the hCG and focus on what they can tell from scans instead.

 

[Dana_Scully]

The obgyn I saw yesterday said it hadn't even been 48 hours between the 2 tests and not to worry. Cervix is closed and so far no more bleeding. How are you girls doing?

 

[Velathria]

Hey girls ^^ I know how you feel about the whole family getting excited. I just wish they'd go away or not do it around me. But then I feel bad... I don't want to take such happiness away from everyone. Me and dh actually tried out the fetal doppler and got a mix between my hb and the baby's. We're gonna try again in a few days and see if we can hear more. I am actually pretty calm about the pregnancy. The last scan was great besides the clot but at least I'm getting a follow up scan. I'm still spotting brown but doc said that there is so much old blood in there that it might be a while until it's gone.
I think I'll slightly calm down after every scan. It's just nice to keep hearing that everything is fine.

Oh and dana my doctor said they don't check hcg levels this time anymore because they don't really rise that much anymore so that's apparently not a reliable source. They should do a scan to.check.

Hopefully you get to have another scan to know everything is OK. ^^

Lubru your scan is only one more week away ^^ yay!!



Hope to hear good news from you let's try to.think positive.

 

[Dana_Scully]

Vela I hope you stop spotting soon! I think I'm slowly starting to accept the fact that I may very well end up with a baby at the end of this pregnancy lol Saw another doctor today after my blood test. He said my levels were 108000, 112000 and today 109000 and that was pretty much the max. He didn't expect them to double. He gave me a quick u/s and baby was fine. Hopefully everything will go smoothly from now on! I just can't wait to see the end of ms. Even with 4 nausea pills a day, I still throw up and feel queasy most of the time. Do you girls have it bad too?

 

[Velathria]

dana i know what you mean with finally starting to think that this pregnancy might work out hahaha...
i'm so glad everything is looking great for you you definitely deserve it after so many MC's. About the MS.. well i am not throwing up but I get really nauseous towards night time. So now i usually eat a big breakfast and eat dinner at lunch and then at night something small. That seems to working. but MS is starting to go away a little bit. It's not as horrible as before, But the soreness of my Uterus stretching is so uncomfortable. Really ruins nights for me and the Peeing... Omg i feel like i should just sleep on the toilette XD

Nipples are still sore too.

I always wake up in the morning with such a soreness in my lower abdomen. Also cramps but they are the constipation cramps I think. Cause i am super constipated...

I just can't wait till this first trimester is over.. hahaha..

Got another ultrasound on tuesday so can't wait to see how the baby is doing ^^

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with the MS. But just think that it's good you have it. Apparently the stronger you have it the more nestled up the baby is in there. ^^ so just try to reassure yourself with that hahaha... thats what I do when i feel sick. Or whine to my DH and cry about it.

here is a big and hoping that it's over soon for you ^^

 

[LuBru]

Sorry to hear about the MS Dana! Just in the past week it's really started for me, my absolute first time experiencing it. I didn't realize how bad and disruptive it could be! Haven't thrown up yet but really nauseated and don't feel like getting out of bed. I am trying B6 vitamins, peppermint candies, lots of crackers with cheese, fizzy water, cold stuff like popsicles. I start a new job on Monday (bad timing huh!!!) so I am really hoping it is manageable. Trying to rest as much as possible this weekend. Also really waiting for the first scan on Thursday and hoping they find a heartbeat. Trying not to get my hopes up until then.

 

[Dana_Scully]

Yesterday I thought I was gonna die! I had a terrible case of (tmi) diarrhea. I had gut wrenching cramps for 20 minutes before anything happened. I was scared I was gonna mc! It must be the fast food I ate... 😕 Still feeling gross today lol Good luck on your us on thursday Lubru! I'm gonna try some new pills for ms today. Hopefully they work better!

 

[Velathria]

Hey lubru ^^ MS is at least good news. Means that your hcg is going up nicely. Can't wait to hear how your scan goes ^^.. oh yeah I know how you feel with the MS.. I couldn't even cook for the first few weeks. And oh god I couldn't do anything. My amazing dh had to do everything. Sucks that you start a new job with all this lol hope you feel a bit better. At least for the day of the job ^^.

Dana- oh I can't eat fast food at all.. it makes me feel horrible. That was probably what made you go through that. Although I ate Spagetti the other day and omg I think the garlic made me die the next day. Although I have constipation really bad and I have cramps from that all the time I hate the feeling of sitting on the toilette and getting no relieve. Ugh...

Hope that doesn't happen anymore dana.

Who here can't wait for the 1st trimester to be over?! Hahaha


ME!!!

 

[Velathria]

Also think I have round ligament pain already.. it's so horrible. Can't sleep at night at all.. maybe that happens earlier when you are pregnant for the 2 time.

 

[Dana_Scully]

Hey girls! I think my ms is going away! I don't know if I should worry but I'm so happy lol I just couldn't take it anymore. My next checkup is on the 11th. I'm starting to get up at night to pee, I feel things are getting squished in there lol Hang in there girls, we can do it! 👍

 

[Dana_Scully]

Argh I caved in and bought a white one piece pyjama for baby lol I hope I didn't jinx myself!

 

[LuBru]

Hi ladies!! Hope you are both doing well! Just wanted to update you that I had my first ultrasound yesterday - I thought I was 8 weeks 2 days but baby measured 8 weeks 6 days which is good I guess!! The heartbeat was at 175 per minute, so I think far so good!!!

 

[Dana_Scully]

Awesome Lubru! I just cried like a baby over a Huggies commercial. Are you girls starting to show yet? Not me, it's driving me nuts lol.

 

[Velathria]

Hey girls ^^ my ms is starting to go away too. But now come the headaches... ugh. ... had amazing weather yesterday and actually had some energy to do something.
I wake up at night like every hour to go pee xD
And I am totally showing already. Had to buy maternity pants. Couldn't fit in anything else. We saw our little one last week on the ultrasound and the baby moved. And what a wild one xD it was all over the place but it was so cute I wanted to cry.
Still getting monitored every week because they just found another clot above the baby. But doc said that if it would've been just a wee bit smaller she would've just ignored it. But she still wants me to come in again this week to check up.

Dana I'm happy you are starting to feel better now. and good for you that you bought something. I bet everything is going to stay fine. We are almost out of the risky 1st trimester. ^^

Lubru- im sorry that your sickness is starting now. And yay for the baby measuring so well. Seems to be growing very nicely ^^ and good heartbeat. They say when the hb is over 140 that it might be a girl.