SassyLou
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Just told Rob what you wrote Tasha, and he said you're right!
Another little story.
My half brother (same dad different mum) has always been fine with me (my eldest half sister doesn't speak to either of us
). It was his wife's 60th birthday last October and he had an afternoon party for her at a hotel. We went (me and Rob and boys) and my other half sister was there. Anyway, she never spoke to the boys at all.When we left George said 'Harry says that fat lady with the glasses on is your sister Mummy' I said that she was. He asked 'why if she's your sister did she never speak to us'. I really didn't know what to say so Rob said 'because she doesn't agree that Daniel doesn't live with us anymore'. Harry looked really angry and said 'maybe if she'd lived with him and seen all the things he did she'd think differently'!
It hurts to think that she rushed to visit Daniel in prison but couldn't speak to my lovely boys. Also this woman has a docterate and is head tutor for psychiatric nursing for Nottinghamshire university. She lectures in psychology and has written books!
I wrote and asked her to meet me so we could talk things over, she refused point blank!
I'll copy and paste our FB conversation, we're not friends on there by the way
Dear Janet,
I have spent time since Linda's party thinking that other than saying hello we didn't speak. I do think that maybe I should have come over and spoken to you. But, after being told in the past by mother how you felt about me I was concerned that you wouldn't want to speak and it would create a problem at Linda's party, which was the last thing I wanted.
I really would like to meet up, just the two of us. I'd really like to listen to anything you have to say and would be willing to answer any questions honestly.
With love,
Sarah x..
Hi Sarah
I honestly don't feel there is any point in us meeting. I think we will only end up arguing, as you and I have very different views about what happened over the last few years. If we meet at family 'dos' then I am sure we can be polite to each other.
Janet..
Dear Janet,
Thank you for your reply.
You state that you and I have very different views about what happened over the last few years. We havent spoken for over four and half years therefore I dont really think you know what my views are. However I will state that on the way home from Lindas party George asked Harry says the lady with dark hair and glasses is Auntie Janet, if shes your sister why didnt she speak to us? I told him that I thought it was because you disagreed with the fact that we dont have Dan living with us anymore. Harry looked quite upset by this and said If shed had to live with him maybe shed think differently. He then went on to tell me a few days later that for all he loves Dan he is very frightened of him. I have no comment to make about these statements other than they are true. Im sure you will make your own judgement.
Its very interesting that the people who truly knew our family totally support our decisions. These are people who knew the five of us very well and witnessed the problems within our family. Not people who have heard stories and rumours second hand, and only had occasional snapshots of our family. I do think that people who have judged us negatively in our choices must have already had a very low opinion of us (me in particular), to believe that I/we made the decisions we have easily or without distress. Maybe if we had remained a family of three the decisions would have been different, but we werent we were a family of five and I will not have my children, ANY of my children growing up in a violent household. Let me reassure you that if either Harry or George start to display the same violent/aggressive behaviour that we witnessed in Dan I will not hesitate to take the same course of action. I state again I WILL NOT HAVE ANY OF MY CHILDREN GROWING UP IN A VIOLENT HOUSEHOLD. I can honestly say that the decisions I/we made throughout the years were never made vindictively or maliciously, I am the first to admit mistakes were made, but we genuinely did do our very best under very difficult circumstances.
I think its time the hypocrisy stopped. Clearly you have very strong feelings which of course you are entitled to. It is quite difficult to explain to the boys why someone who sends them Christmas presents and birthday cards wont speak to them when they see them somewhere. Therefore I think its time we put a stop to this and gave up sending presents and cards. I also find it quite odd that Steve said hello to me via my mother when I phoned while he was at her house, it seems quite strange to do this and then blank me at Lindas party, (my mother is sure he knows it was me but of course he could have thought I was someone else, in which case I apologise for the accusation).
Finally, you will always be my sister, and in that I will always hold feelings for you and care for you. If you ever change your mind my door is always open for us to try and sort things out.
With love,
Sarah..
Your response and its tone reflects exactly why I don't want to meet with you. Janet..
I don't think there's a great deal of tone to my reply. And any tone that you may feel is there is purely due to my distress for Harry and George, neither have done anything wrong and were both quite upset by the fact that family member chose to ignore them.
I'm sorry you feel like this. I can assure you no tone was intended only a statement of fact. Again my door is always open if you change your mind.
Love Sarah x..
Sassy!!!
and belive me I need my beauty sleep
Although I can supply you with a 1001 more Daniel stories!
