Rainbow Makers - WTTAL, NTNPAL, TTCAL & PAL friends

[SassyLou]

Since he left the boys have slowly let things slip about what he did to them, hitting them, shutting them in the cupboard under his bed and not letting them out to name but a few!

Oh God in for a penny in for a pound!

He ended up in prison, he threatened a girl (she was 22) with a broken bottle for money. I just can't get beyond he'll have changed this poor girl forever! My mother informs me he's done his time and I should get over it. I just can't believe that someone that came out of my could do this, I'm so upset and ashamed, I'm crying now!!!

He threatened my mother with a knife, which is why we had to go and remove him from her house! that was before the girl and the bottle by the way!

He went in the Navy at 16 and got kicked out they'd never met anybody like him! I paid for him then to volunteer in Poland, they sent him back again because he was so irresponsible and selfish!

There's so much more!

The incident with the girl and the bottle happened after I last spoke to him (when he called me a slag) the others before then!

When he came out of prison he called and I missed his call, he phoned Rob who told him he would meet him but to leave me alone for a while as I was still upset. So instead of doing what Rob asked he kept repeatedly phoning me sometimes in the middle of the night. Needless to say Rob hasn't met up with him!

 

[SassyLou]

No, I won't be part of the babies life I just know I wouldn't be able to keep quiet if it wasn't being looked after properly. I'd be one of those MIL from hell like you read about on here!

Plus Daniel is having a lot to do with his fathers family and I really can't go there again!

 

[SassyLou]

Thank you girls I really did know I could share with you just didn't know where to start!

 

[Jox]

Evening all,

SJ hope we can arrange to meet again soon. Really didnt get to catch properly at sands.

Sassy - NO ONE here will judege you, you are an amazing mummy, we all know that!! I think your mum is trying to hurt you by telling you about Daniel but I also think it may of hurt more if she hadnt iykwim? no one asks for shit in life so we all know whatever you have had to deal with would never of been brought on yourself lots of love x

Sooo, my mum!! Shes a chain smoking alcoholic who is slowing turning into a tramp Shes always smoked and drunk but its getting so much worse. she doesnt take care of herself the way she used to, shes stinks of alcohol and fags, the house is disgusting (ive never let leo go in their house!! i honestly cant stand being round her for more than a few hours, she arrived over half hour late today coz they stopped at the pub at the bottom of the road, was here 4 hours and was having to steady herself on the wall on the way out!! When shes sober she fine but after a few drinks shes selfish and childish then the next day the arguement is never mentioned again and she goes back to as if it never happened. Her and my sister called me selfish 6 months after kasper died because all i thought about was my own grief, i didnt think about how they had lost their nephew/grandson, i tried to explain it was hard enough dealing with my own grief to take theirs on too....

Anyway, 18 months later, my mum is my mum (i dont get a say in that), my sister is supportive now, our arguements at 6 months straightened things out and she began to understand (as much as a non angel mummy can).

I think it was SJ who said it... you cant pick your family but you can pick your friends.... soo true!

Just so you all know, next week im on night shifts (actually starting tomorrow night), 5 in a row (2 x 9 till 5, and 3 x 10 till 6) so i wont be round in the evenings but will try and get on everyday!! i hate not getting on here more because i have to admit i feel this is my only outlet in life at the mo. Thank you for welcoming me into your group. your all amazing ladies.

Just putting a film on, Black Swan. My dad says its brill so we will see!!

Lots of love ladies xxx

 

[hannpin]

ohh my word Sass, woww your mum is being a complete and utter twat saying things like that, saying you wont care is right out of order.

You nenr know though, this may be the maiking of your boy??

I completly agree you need to put the safety and wellbeing of your other boys first, but that would not stop you seeing the baby if you wanted to. are there not laws for grandparent rights??

 

[SarahJane]

I think we had a conversation about "bad" people in the restaurant. He clearly has some issues and that behaviour definitely hasn't come from you or Rob.

Has he ever said to anyone why he did those things?

You are right to keep him away from your boys until you know 100% they are safe. It just isn't worth the risk.

Do you want to let him back in (taking your boys aside?)

 

[SassyLou]

No there aren't any laws for grandparents rights!

And now the nausea has lifted and I've stopped crying,

Nobody has worked out the obvious thing



I'm too young to be a grandma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Tasha]

Sarah, it must be awful to watch your child behave in such ways. He was awful, awful to your boys and you have to protect them, he is old enough to look after himself, they are not.

I am not sure what to suggest because it must hurt that you will have a grandchild you will not know, but at the same time the reasons for that are very right.

 

[hannpin]

hey Jo dont feel bad about not being on, we love to hear from you when you can, but we undertand u have a really buy life atm. I hope the nights go well for you. are you enjoying the casino?

 

[SarahJane]

ohh my word Sass, woww your mum is being a complete and utter twat saying things like that, saying you wont care is right out of order.

You nenr know though, this may be the maiking of your boy??

?

Agree 100%^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

[SarahJane]

No there aren't any laws for grandparents rights!

And now the nausea has lifted and I've stopped crying,

Nobody has worked out the obvious thing



I'm too young to be a grandma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hahaha - YOU ARE OLD!!!!!

 

[Tasha]

Jo your mum sounds awful, it must be hard to see her like that. I am glad your sister is more supportive now.

 

[SassyLou]

SJ I don't know, his behaviour was so bad and had such a detrimental effect on us that I can't even think about letting him back in.

Now some more honesty.

Things got so bad, and bad for Rob and the boys. That I actually turned into a rocking crying fool most of the time!

I remember sitting with some tablets in my hand, thinking that if I died nobody would expect Rob to keep him and therefore him and the boys would be free from his behaviour!

As for why he does it. We did have a psychologist see him when he was about 10, he said that he subconciously saw me as his sister and my mother as his mother, and that he respected nobodies authority but hers, and was conditioned (by her) to believe that his behaviour was as a result of other people rather than himself!

I remember Rob once saying to me if Daniel stabbed someone my mum would be convinced that they'd fallen on the knife!

 

[Tasha]

LOL NaughtySarah, nah you are plenty old enough

My friend is 34 and has a 6 month old granddaughter

 

[SarahJane]

Hi Jo

Don't read my plan earlier to hide from you, I was having a naughty moment

Sooooo Now you are here for a second just wanted to say - GET THE IMPLANT REMOVED and come and TTC!! leo wants a brother or sister.

I am so glad the job is going well - you can be "head of entertainment" at our meet

 

[SassyLou]

And the final thing, I sometimes wonder if Archie and the other baby we lost are a punishment for my bad relationship with my son!

 

[hannpin]

gosh sarah the more you tell, the more it seems your mum has messed things up for both you and him. If she knew 11 years ago she was having that effect on him then why continue.

Dont you be doing silly things now, you have far to much to look forward to for that

 

[SarahJane]

sassylou - sitting like a rocking crying fool is my speciality I'm afraid. When I have really bad moments

Sounds like a sensible explanation from the psychologist. I tend to agree you are probably better staying away.

I really hope he looks after the baby

 

[SarahJane]

And the final thing, I sometimes wonder if Archie and the other baby we lost are a punishment for my bad relationship with my son!

Am I allowed to tell you off?

Don't even GO there

 

[Tasha]

And the final thing, I sometimes wonder if Archie and the other baby we lost are a punishment for my bad relationship with my son!

Nooooooooooooo. Never ever think that. It just doesnt work like that, you tried your best with your oldest and his behaviour or your relationship is not your fault.

It cant work like that because a) there are so many people who do awful, terrible, nasty, disgusting things yet never have anything bad happen to them, and b) even if it was punishement (which it totally isnt) Archie and your tiny angel wouldnt of deserved to grow their wings (not that I think you deserve to lose your babies, god I hope this comes out right and you understand what I am getting at)