Rainbow Makers - WTTAL, NTNPAL, TTCAL & PAL friends

[Tasha]

Beautiful bumps girls I never really got a bump with Riley Rae, it is part of the reason I knew something was wrong.

Sorry I have not been on the thread, it is busy, busy here.

For those of you not on my facebook, it is four years today since the last time I saw Honey alive, it was the scan where they overmeasured her tummy by 10cm's, didnt do a doppler, didnt get her out when the CTG was non reactive, an expert said that a c-section should of been performed today four years ago at the latest. So tough old day.

MM I do mark Honey's birthday, usually go to her grave with flowers and gifts like new solar lights etc (usually Winnie the pooh or disney), we send a balloon to her, have a sort of tea party with cake, then in the evening light a candle. I dont really mark her due date which was the 7th June but that is probably because she was born on the 16th May and our induction was booked for the 17th. I will mark Riley Rae's birthday and due dae though I think. What about you girls, do you plan to?

I cant remember if I told you I had organised her funeral?

Are you all doing the whole temping, opk side of TTC or would you say you are more relax than that, some people on the forum would say it is NTNP?

 

[Tasha]

Oh wow a rose that is lovely.

Well done on the weight loss Sarah

 

[mummymarsh]

Tasha - wat you do for honey sounds lovely, i plan to do something similar with charlie, a Balloon and little cake etc.... easter i took him over some tiny little chocolates to pop on his grave (still their now) every time we visit lilly says, "has charlie eaten his choolates??" and as we get closer she says "noooooo" lol....

SJ - well done on weight loss i got about 6lb to loose then ill bee almost back to my pre baby weight but ill never loose that and even if i did i still got he wobbles love the rose idea

and im NTNP.... we are just rumpy pumpying when we wat to and seein what outcome brings.....

xxxxxx

 

[Tasha]

Awww that is so cute of Lilly

Yes, we have always just NTNP, it was only when I joined this site that I realised it was that though, cos in my mind I was actively trying just without all the opk's etc. I dont like temping, tried it for a few weeks once but I wake in the night so pointless.

 

[hannpin]

Hey darlings,

Tasha hope today is not too hard for you hunny xx to Honey today xxx I think it is lovely what you do for her birthday, I hope to do something as lovely for Harri. I love your new signature too

SJ fingers crossed u don't see an AF for 9+ mths, that would be so amaxing for you, I can't wait for our BFP announcements. Love the sound of the rose, cant wait to see pics. well done on weight loss, I have put on 1/2 a stone since having Harri, but it is the same ammount I lost wen preg, so back to pre preg size now. But would still like to loose about that again before TTC.

MM hope you had a nice time away. That is so sweet of Lilly about th chocs. Els would be wanting them for herself

AFM We went to meet Evelyn today and she is so gorgeous, she has loads of thick black hair and that scrunched up baby look. I had a cuddle and just managed to hold back the tears. I feel kind of weird that Harri is no longer that last baby I held, but I suppose life has to go on Still have the preg feel, even gagging today over smells. might go buy Hpt tomorrow, however I am still thinging it is my mind playing tricks on me. Go if I was, I pray to god that baby would be ok, as I only been on FA 1 month/

We are WTT using condoms at the mo, but when ready we will just NTNP, TTC is all to complicated for me xx

 

[Tasha]

that must of been so hard holding another baby. The only baby I have held since Honey is Kaysieand then Riley Rae, and as they are mine, it is different iykwim?

I have everything crossed that you are

 

[mummymarsh]

tasha - oh my god i too love the signiture.... where did you do that???? yeh with Charlie we though we were trying, but only by having reglar sex, still no OPKs etc, but i suppose the sex was more egular back then and more spcifically around CD10-18ish to cover all bases

Hanah - it must have been heard an emotional for you today too i think your very brave..... i aw the pregnant SIL today and everytime i see her i just stare at her bump in envy hahahaha.... and im always askin her questions and giving her advise, purely cooz i dont want people to stop talking to me about her regnancy, dont wanna be pushed away, want to still feel involved if that makes sense...

i keep thinking it will be our time soon.. and maybe the ime liht will be on us coz when we announe we were pregnt with Charlie after that EVERYONE i know announced the were preegnant too lol...

AFM im writing a journey of my rainbow baby starting with conceiving then hopefully continue into rpegnancy... ive linked it on my signiture... stalkers wecome i feel with charlie the memories and events are already being forgotten and dates and times mixed up etc, so i want to remember evrything thats why im writig it all down....

 

[Tasha]

Aww thank you girls, I love looking at it too. Jac on here did it for me, if you want one I can show you the link to her thread.

I will deffo stalk you MM, and might start my own too. Eeeek, that is scary.

 

[SarahJane]

My cousin lost a baby at 16 weeks last October and got pregnant at first try so her baby is due on August 8th (6 days after Evelyn's due date) I also have a good friend who is due in about 6 weeks time.

I have tried to do all I can to stay normal with them as I don't want them to feel awkward and I am genuinely happy for them.

Having said that, I think I have to be prepared for some jealousy as it is bound to happen. The worst will be if one of them is a girl stupid as that sounds. I think it will be easier if their babies are boys.

I have a similar concern about my rainbow baby too, I want it to be a girl really badly and I keep saying she etc when talking with Paul about a new pregnancy. I have no idea why I feel that way as I am not trying to replace Evelyn, I will always see it as a different baby, I know Evelyn has gone. Something inside me wants a girl though! Does that sound weird?

I also tried temping and had exactly the same problem that I wake at silly times so it never worked! OPK's stressed me out too much as well.

Did anyone see the "inside the human body" programme about conceiving the other day? It was so interesting and made me realise that the day of ovualtion is probably not the best day to try anyway as sperm has a long journey to get there! You can still get it on iplayer if you didn't see it - was excellent.

hannah -

 

[mummymarsh]

SJ - im the sam as you.. SIL baby is a boy when we found out she was having a boy my heart sank and i thought typical... (even though it was 50/50 chance lol) and also im praying my next baby is a boy too, not to replace but to just show me how charlie woould have been if that makes sense.. (before we fell pregnant we wanted a boy)

xxx

p.s thanks for replying on my journal dont think may read the TTC jounals which is where mine is coz there areno recent ones.... xxx

 

[Tasha]

I dont think that sounds odd AT ALL. I think it is because you should have a mother daughter relationship, and of course you still have that but it is different, and so somethings that you should experience have been cruely snatched away from you, you need an earth baby girl to help fulfil the things you imagine.

I was the opposite, I wanted Kaysie Blossom to be a boy. I thought that would be 'easier' for me.

I didnt see that, but will catch it on iplayer, thanks

And I agree, Hannah TEST!!!

 

[hannpin]

ok, ok, ok i will get a hpt tomorrow and test. The problem I have is I dont have any and it is a 20min drive to the town where I can get one that no one will know me. I couldn't go to the local chemist, as we live in a quite rural area and the news would spread like wild fire!!!

Girls I am so with you. I was praying Evelyn was a girl, and SIL (Ieuans sister who is 20 weeks) is going to hopefully find out this wed. I'm praying she has a girl also, but I just have a feeling it will be a boy BUt at least I will have a while to get used to the idea if it does turn out to be a boy.

I too am hoping for another boy next time. I have so always wanted a boy. When preg with Els I was sure I was having a boy, but was wrong. But just knew with Harri he was. I think I will know next time, as my two pregnancies were so different iykwim.

SJ inside the human body soubd good, may have to look that up on iplayer tomorrow.

Take care girlies xxxx

 

[Tasha]

Oh yes my brother and SIL are pregnant too, and I badly want it to be a little boy.

 

[mummymarsh]

y do our siblings and in laws have to get pregnant when we just lost our babies.... sooooo unfair :'( xxx

 

[Tasha]

I dont know hun. I got so upset the other day at the thought of sharing christmas with them and it being their LO's first christmas yet not getting to see my LO enjoy her first christmas.

 

[mummymarsh]

im scared of leaving charlie....

we r in the RAF (well husband is) and im dreaded being posted away from him xxx

 

[hannpin]

Morning ladies,

MM Charlie knows that you would never leave him, even though he has a grave where you are now, he is not really there. He is with you and will be where ever you go. Do you have to move around alot? One of ieuans good friends is in the army and is out in afgan atm, he got posted the day osama bin laden was killed, so we were all really worried the fighting would increase out there, but the contact we have had from him so far he has said it is not too bad out there atm. xxx

Everyone seems to be pregnant around me, i am glad i'm not the only one feeling like this tho.

So the preg feeling is still there, but I am sure its paranoya. I am petrified to test incase I do get a BFP. dont get me wrong, it is what I want, but I don't know what would happen to the baby because I havent taken the FA for long enough. We have been careful, but we hate condoms, so we have also been using the withdrawl method (well once) so this is what I think has got me worried I am off to town later so will pick up some hpts then and test wen i get back and let you know

Hope you all have a good day, I will be back later with an update once i have poas

 

[Tasha]

MM, I totally agree with Hannah, Charlie isnt really there. I do know it is tough to leave though, maybe you will be able to find some where when you move that you feel close to Charlie and can leave flowers for him, like a woods or something like that. I always feel close to Honey by the sea, I imagine her playing just the other side of the water. It is hard but you need to concentrate on today for now, and if/when it comes to moving deal with that then.

Hannah, no you are not alone. It is not just people I know either, celebrities, nearly every woman in the street (okay maybe a slight exaggeration ) are pregnant, it is hard isnt it?

I know you must be worried but finding out means that you can go and see a doctor who can advise you. We are here every step of the way, good luck hun

 

[hannpin]

MM, I totally agree with Hannah, Charlie isnt really there. I do know it is tough to leave though, maybe you will be able to find some where when you move that you feel close to Charlie and can leave flowers for him, like a woods or something like that. I always feel close to Honey by the sea, I imagine her playing just the other side of the water. It is hard but you need to concentrate on today for now, and if/when it comes to moving deal with that then.

Hannah, no you are not alone. It is not just people I know either, celebrities, nearly every woman in the street (okay maybe a slight exaggeration ) are pregnant, it is hard isnt it?

I know you must be worried but finding out means that you can go and see a doctor who can advise you. We are here every step of the way, good luck hun

Thanks hun xxx its not just me who sees nearly every woman in the world pregnant and weirdly stares at them then

 

[mummymarsh]

thank you

and hannah yeh i would speak to your doctor if you do get BFP...... whats the medication for again???

xxxx