remember remember my bfp this november!

[loobi]

hmmmm...... struggling here..... i am cold, dont feel well, and i want something nice to eat...grrrrrrrrrrr why cant weight just fall off if you dont want it...its not fair....grrrr

 

[loobi]

just went to the cupbard to get the last of my dark chocolate options hot choc drink..... SOMEONE HAS DRUNK IT........ i am very piddled off now......

 

[im_mi]

that would do my head in. those options drinks are a great binge deterrant!

 

[loobi]

slipped up a little bit tonight..... oooopsy....not terrible.....be better tomorrow!!!!!

hope everyone is ok.....

 

[WelshRose]

Hey Peeps....

Loobi.....I'm joining you in that pledge about being better tomorrow....very looooong day in work lead to naughty chicken salad sandwich....with loads of yummy mayo in it at lunch.....have the feeling dinner isn't going to be good either

Erin....Hope your day is going ok sweetheart....the mood I'm in today I'd love to fly across the pond and tell them all to bog off for you!

Im_mi....yay for 3dpo hun Hope you managed to get them cupboards stocked earlier....Mother Hubberd has got nothing on my cupboards at the moment.......Big shop to be done on friday

Hayley~Aww... sorry the witch got you chick....hope the clomid gets you that bfp for christmas. Are you and your sisters identical twins?

Bexx~Are you ok sweets....haven't heard from you in a couple of days?

Jenny~Please come back to us babe....missing you

I sent friend requests guys on facebook....

Hope everyone has had a good day....

 

[loobi]

hi lisa... accepted you on fb.... i havent been great today, i was good til about 5 .... and i went to pieces.... i have a stinker of a headache tonight.. i wanted to go to bed early, but gary looked all sad, so i am trying to get the kids to bed and then we will try to watch something.. not sureif i will be able to keep my eyes open.....

i am trying so hard to be more upbeat around everyone, but some days i do find it so hard....today, is one of them....... i want to be ok about not getting my and i try so hard to be...but i just wanted my baby so much, and at ths stage i should have had 3 weeks left .... gary says i sholdnt dwell on it, but just sometimes i cant help it.... my heart hurts so much when i think that mabe i will never hold my own newborn baby in my arms and be able to look into thos eyes and sing while i rock it to sleep.... having babies was just one of those things i thought i could just do, you know.... but now i am thinking my body cant do it any more, and i just dont know how i willcope with that psychologically...the daft thing is , i have had 6 children.... and i thought i was done, but my heart lifted and i was so happy when i was expecting him, then he was gone, and even now these months later, its a physical pain i feel , and i wonderif i will ever feel better again....

sorry girls..... i dont mean to be down..... i know gary tries to understand, but he tells me not to dwell on things i cant change... but as i say, and i know some of you know too, its just not that easy.....

right here i go... cosi made myself cry again, been doing to much of that lately, cant seem to pull myself out of it, no matter how hard i try ......

he says he wants the old laura sittingunder the christmas tree with a microphone singing... and i said, i think she is not here any more....i think i lost her....

love to you all my darlings...

loobs

xxxxxx

 

[loobi]

by the way , lisa...my profile pic at the moment, is a sewing i did last year

 

[WelshRose]

Oh Laura......I wish I could take all your hurt away
It didn't happen all that long ago babe....and no one can put a time length on grief....don't be too hard on yourself chick....all these emotions are normal and you shouldn't feel as thou you have to supress them sweetheart. I know you feel as thou you won't get pg again and that your heart won't mend but it will get easier as time passes and I also truly believe that you'll get that magical bfp as well.
The lead up to the due date is horrible babe, but I think I've said before I felt almost a sense of and I'm really not sure if this is the right word but...relief when it had passed. I'm not very good at talking about those deepest feelings and have a nasty tendancy to box things up without properly dealing with them....needless to say it usually bites my arse when I'm least expecting it

We will get there sweetie.....together

Oooooooooooooooodles of Love and

 

[bumble b]

laura i know it's not the same for me as i was only a few weeks pregnant when we lost our baby but i can remember feeling really low, i would cry in the bath all the time coz it was the one place i went that was silent, just me & my thoughts. wish i had been on bnb at that time, just to tell someone how i was feeling would have been a relief in itself. we are all here for you hun, every step of the way

i am going to count tomorrow as cd1 as has only just showed her face properly. it means i take my first clomid tablet on saturday morning. i feel really nervous about it not working. when i was growing up, i always dreamed of being a mum, i just thought it would happen when i wanted it to. how wrong was i!

it was my nieces 2nd birthday today, me & steve popped round after work to see her. my sister is almost 29 weeks pg, roxie is 2 & reese is 5 bless her. i sat there looking at them thinking if being an aunty is the closest i get to being a mum then god, i am very lucky, they really are gorgeous

forgive me, i have sinned i had some of rox's birthday cake, infact a rather big chunk, it was a peppa pig one & it was so yummy i did ok until that moment of weakness! tomorrow i will be stronger!!!!

 

[loobi]

morning ...
well, what C**P weather... it hasnt stopped raining and the wind is horrible...
i have just done all my ironing, it had piled up a bit.... feels good when its done..
grrrr the house is hairy even though i hoovered last night and this morning, i bathed both dogs last night, and the loose hair is driving me nuts....they smell alot better though, i cut thier ear hair too , it gets stinky ..... they look like puppies all trimmed and clean.....

i weighed myself and feel very disheartened... i havent had a glass of wine or crisps or choc, been so so good apart from last night, but even then i think i didnt go over my points too bad, but i havent changed.... feel like whats thepoint..

i know, its only been a few days..... but i want results NOW!!!!!!!!!!

just been on the phone to my mum, and i didnt outrightly say " we are trying for a baby" , but told her how hard it was talking to dd the other day, cos i wish it was me.... and she said " yeah but you are getting on now, and you shouldnt be having any more anyway"..

so feeling a bit low again today over all, i got up witha headache again.....but, i did sleep reasonable well, and am feeling tired again now, so hopefully i will get a good sleep again tonight... wish the kids were off tomorrow so i didnt have to dragmyself out of bed, it would be nice to be able to catch up with some rest.....


thank fully AF is easing up a bit..... cant wait forit to be gone......makes me feel S**T...

right here i go, gonna make a cuppa tea i think.....havent really stopped all morning til now....

lotsa love and

loobs
xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[loobi]

ah hayley.. come on.... be positive petal..... i had babies with pcos....you will too, i just know you will......i know its hard to feel that way when AF shows up..... but look forward now, you are gonna take the clomid, and have a house full of beautiful little Joyce's..
xxxxxxxxx

 

[im_mi]

ARGH i just typed a big long post and managed to delete it by accident

Laura, i wish there was something i could do to help. Have you ever considered having counselling for your grief? Im sure your DH means well when he says that you shouldnt dwell on it etc but you lost your child. I dont think dads can really understand how we feel about these things. You grew him, carried him. I think that you are carrying a lot of guilt about losing him hun and maybe talking to a professional would help? This is obviously having a huge impact on your life and your personality, your ability to enjoy yourself etc. im not saying that therapy will "fix" it but it might help ease things a little

Hayley, i really hope that the clomid works for you! i have a good feeling for you this cycle hun

Lisa, i can think of food far more 'damaging' than a chicken salad sandwich!! haha. Youve got me craving one of those now!!

I forgot to weigh myself this morning, damnit. HAd to get up early to go babysit my niece for a couple hours this morning, i was really tired but it was so much fun. she is 6 months older than Jack and they play together SO well. it was really nice being pregnant at the same time as my SIL, and now she is pregnant again (due in june) she is really hoping i fall again soon so we can go through it together again, haha.

Getting heavy mid-cycle spotting again this cycle. I think it must be a sign of O for me or something, it started very light on the day i O'd and has been on and off since. mainly blood streaked CM but today its been more like what the start of AF looks like, which is quite unnerving. Im not sure that everything "down there" is in tip top working order, i just feel like something is wrong. I know this is way way way too much information but sometimes, if i'm feeling... ahem... in the mood, and you get those feelings 'down there', it actually feels quite sore where my uterus is. and i bleed after nearly every time. I just dont see the point in going to the doctors yet because they will just tell me i am irregular because of coming off of BCP. My doctor is really nice and if i told her i had a feeling something wasnt right, she would listen to me, but i highly doubt that the gyno i get sent to will feel the same way. Dont really know what to do.

 

[JLove84]

Morning all.

I'm trying to get on the healthy eating bandwagon myself..... didn't do so great yesterday. Had Chinese for dinner, and 2 large chocolate chip cookies during lunch. Today's a new day!

Gotta go into work. My boss wants a written account of what went on, so that terrible woman is getting a write up. I'm so glad for that, but in the mean time, since everyone in the office was friends with her (how they could be, I can't even imagine) they've all turned cold towards me. Working in this environment is aweful. People keep telling me to hang in there, stick it out, this always happens in the work place. It's not the same.....to go to work and just know everyone you work with dislikes you for this one stupid reason. Eh, I'm over it, and I wish they would get over it too. ANYWAY......

I'm off to get ready for today. Check back in with everyone later if I don't have to work late! Have a good one!

 

[loobi]

having a little glass of wine here girls.... feeling pretty low.... maybe the diet will wait a few days... i havent eaten badly though, so its not all bad.....

hope you are all ok..
erin.... glad you are doing that write up on that dragon woman.....

imogen... i will think bout talking to someone i think, you could be right....

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

[bumble b]

well the vanished last night & hasn't returned since???? i'm a bit confused???? definately not pregnant, did an ic! what is going on?

just a quick visit, i'm off to bed coz i'm shattered. i'll be on in the morning, sleep well everyone xxxx

 

[im_mi]

Hayley, IC's are pretty shit sometimes... my friend didnt get a bfp on an IC until she was like 7 weeks preg, sometimes you just get a dodgy batch. FRER!

 

[JLove84]

Hey girls.

In a better mood this evening. Got off work for the rest of the night! Going to make burritos tonight. Figured it's healthier than ordering in.

Had some very light cramps earlier today. I couldn't tell if it was because i had to pee though. I've been shopping for the better part of the afternoon, so I wasn't paying attention to myself then. Of course I'm not trying to symptom spot!

Hope everyone else is doing ok!

 

[WelshRose]

Morning Girls....

Hayley~I definately agree with Im_mi hun. I would of thrown an ic out for being bfn...only a shadow of a line on it....but had dipped a cb digi in the same pee (supposed to be quite a bit less sensitive than the ic) and it came up 1-2.....hope you're lucky babe...I have everything crossed for you

Loobi...How are you feeling this morning sweets? Don't pay too much attention to the scales hun....I bet by monday you will have lost. I used to do it when I was doing ww have a sneaky mid wk weigh and get disappointed only to have a lovely suprise when the true weigh day came....

Erin~wow that's almost another week down in the tww isn't it....glad you're keeping that superchilled approach babe
Were you christmas shopping yesterday?....I've really got to get a wriggle on with mine....Santa's sleigh is pretty empty at the moment....and it's really not that far away

Im_mi...How's things with you babe? What are you upto today?

Anybody heard from Bexx?....She's been awful quiet lately...hope she's ok.

Well the strangeness continues here, the spotting has stopped i think (fingers crossed) and I was due the witch yesterday but she hasn't arrived and my cp is still high......trying not to analyse it all anymore and just roll with it.
I'm off to see a close friend today, that I actually met on here...Forever 3. She had her little girl back in September so lots of lovely cuddles will be going on over coffee....and probably cake

Hope you all have a good day....catch up with you all later....

 

[bumble b]

wow erin, 7dpo already, going so fast. what day have you chosen for test dat, so exciting

i love burritos, haven't had them for ages. might make them next week when i have some time off.

still no sign of the temp dropped today so maybe she will fly in some time this morning, fingers crossed.

what has everyone got planned for the weekend? xxx

 

[loobi]

oooh... coming in ere in next day or so i reckon...... good luck girls....